Half Blessing, Half Curse Season 2
by TD Master
Summary: Xander is still cursed, and visits Nerima!
1. Part 1: Hi Nerima! Bye Nerima!

Title: 1/2 Blessing, 1/2 Curse - Season 2 - 1?

Author: 3D Master

Feedback: 3d.masterchello.nl

Website: http/members.chello.nl/-jg.temolder1/

Rating: 17+WVES

Keywords: X-Over Ranma ½ / Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Action, Humor, Drama, AU.

Summary: Xander is in Nerima, and in Sunnydale Buffy and Willow remain.

Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and its characters do not belong to me, but to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy Productions. Ranma ½ belongs to Rumiko Takahashi.

----Part 1: Hi Nerima! Bye Nerima!----

**Nerima**

"Dang. I can't have inherited Ryoga's sense of direction," Xander muttered annoyed as he looked around, a garden wall to his left. He was wearing tight jeans and a white shirt, his jacket laying over his shoulder and large backpack. Central Tokyo had been confusing as hell, now in the Nerima district things should be easier . . . that is if everything didn't look alike and his reading of Japanese wasn't still somewhat lacking, and unlike Central Tokyo Nerima - not the tourist trap Central Tokyo was - did not have an alphabet translation on its signs.

He looked around for a bit, and then at his map. He turned the map around, and studied it confused. The map itself was English, thank god for that at least. He sighed in annoyance. He was pretty certain of the route he had taken, including all of the wrong ways, so he should be close by now . . . finally. A guy on a bicycle came around a corner, and decision made, Xander went to the edge of the pavement. "Excuse me! Can I ask you something?" Xander asked in Japanese - his spoke was much better than his written, although he still had a heavy accent.

The guy slowed down and stopped, getting off the saddle. "Certainly," the man spoke politely.

"I'm looking for the Tendo Dojo?" Xander asked the man.

"You're standing next to it," the man said, pointing at the wall. Xander looked surprised to his left, and the man finished, "The dojo entrance is around the corner behind you, the entrance to the house is around the corner in front of you."

"Thank you very much," Xander said, and gave the man a light bow, who returned the gesture. Then Xander turned to the two-and-a-half-meter-tall wall and jumped over it.

The man looked surprised, then grunted annoyed. As he cycled onward he muttered, "Damn, martial artists, no respect."

On the other side, Xander landed smoothly on the grass. Just in front of him was a pond, to the left a path, and a tree on the left of that one. Another tree was too the right of the pond. Behind the pond was a traditional Japanese house; sliding doors with white paper in front of it. The dirt path lead up to it, and crossed with another one that ran around the building, left and around to the dojo, right and around to the entrance of the house. The walls were yellowish, and the house had a slanted red-tiled roof.

Deciding not to waste time, Xander called out, "Ranma? Genma? You guys here?"

Instantly one of the sliding doors opened, and there was indeed Genma, built like a bear, in his white gi, and a protective cloth cap on his head. It was made of a clothe and tied in four corners to make it into a cap, the nots sticking out and visible. "XANDER! You are here!" Genma yelled enthused. Opposite Genma sat a lanky man in a brownish gi, which flowed down past his waist; a dark loose pants underneath it. The mans' hair was long past his shoulders and combed back. A thick mustache completed his rather good looks. He was studying the new arrival calmly.

"GENMA! THE FATHER I NEVER HAD!" Xander yelled happily, put his backpack down, and started running forward.

The man did the same and yelled, "The son I never had."

"POPS!" There was a red and green streak, and a moment later Genma was launched off of his feet, to land in the pond with a big splash. Xander had slowed down and looked surprised at the event. Ranma, red buttoned up shirt, green pants, Japanese shoes, black hair and a single braided pig-tail running from the back of his head to just below his shoulder blades stood there with a scowl and his hands folded across his chest. "What am I? Chopped chicken?" Ranma said with some anger, as behind the man in the house arrived two girls. One with short brown hair, and another in a flowing dress with a brown ponytail tied with a red ribbon. Her hands and head were politely downward.

As behind Ranma arrived a short-statured, but powerful-looking beauty with short black hair and wide surprised eyes, Xander told his friend, "Ranma, I'm certain your father meant a second son, a brother for you he never had." Ranma grumbled.

The pond water broke with a splash, and a panda rose from it. "Growf," it said, and held up a sign, on which was written: 'What Xander said.'

"Genma!" Xander called, and as the panda got out of the water, Xander rushed over and enveloped the panda in a hug, who returned it happily. Xander didn't care that he got wet on the wet fur at all. A moment later the panda shook himself and a spray of water was splashed around.

"Growf," Genma said, and held up a new sign, 'What a surprise! What are you doing here, Xander?'

"Huh? I'm spending my vacation here of course," Xander answered, and then broke in a grin, "You had me going there Genma."

"It would be nice to ask on beforehand," the short-haired brunette said coolly, adding, "we could negotiate compensation then."

"What are you talking about?" Xander asked confused and with a little annoyance, "I asked Ranma and he said it was fine for me to come over."

Everyone turned toward Ranma who calmly nodded his head and said, "Yes, been looking forward to it too. Only male friend I've got." Then he became aware of the looks remaining on him, and he thought about it, bringing one hand up to his chin, "I did ask, right? Everyone knows he's coming for weeks now?"

"Ranma-idiot!" the short-haired raven girl screamed and kicked out, right in Ranma's knee.

"OW!" Ranma yelled out, jumping up and down, "Akane! Stop that!" The girl smashed him powerfully over the head, while he held up his hands in a pitiful defense. "OW! I just forgot a little thing!"

Akane kicked him int he other leg, and yelled, "Idiot! I'll show you forget!" She grabbed him by the collar and smoothly threw him over her shoulder, over Xander, over Genma, and landed with a splash in the water.

Xander looked at the whole spectacle with wide eyes, while the rest looked bored. Girl-Ranma, now having red hair, rose from the water in annoyance, still feeling his aching body. "Wow, Ranma," Xander said with wonder, "you weren't exaggerating when you called her a intolerant, aggressive witch who needs anger-management therapy."

"WHAT?" The exclaim from the girl was the only warning Xander had to realize he made a big mistake. A moment later the girl's fist smashed into his chin and he was launched into the air, to land with a splash into the pound.

"Come on, Akane," the short-haired brunette remarked dryly, "you have to admit that's a pretty accurate description."

"NABIKI!" Akane gave a screech.

A moment late Lexa rose from the water, and felt her chin. "Ow, she's stronger than Buffy was before I started training her," Lexa said in a groaning way, her ample breasts now somewhat visible through the white, wet, clinging shirt.

Ranma chuckled and said, "Hey, with any luck, with you around, I'll suffer only half of the usual abuse."

"Ranma, you idiot!" Akane screamed again, and then growled. "OOOH!" she grunted and with her fist clenched alongside her body, stomped into the house past the second man and the two girls.

The two girls got out of the water and tried futilely to dry off for a moment. "Xander, let me introduce you to the others living here," Ranma said with a smile, happy his friend was here.

"Lexa," Lexa corrected with a smile as the two walked over to the remaining Tendos. Ranma looked at him. "When I'm a girl, I go by Lexa," Xander clarified with a grin.

"Why?" Ranma asked as the Panda joined up behind the two, managing to smile somehow.

"Because Xander isn't a girl's name?" Xander asked in a 'duh' manner.

"Sensible, unlike stupid over here," Nabiki commented coolly.

"It does seem prudent," the man said, agreeing with his daughter.

"You don't have a name for your girl-persona?" Xander asked slightly confused.

"Lexa, let me introduce to you, Tendo Soun, head of the Tendo family, and owner of the Tendo Dojo of 'Anything Goes' Martial Arts," Ranma said formerly. "Soun-san, this is Xander 'Lexa' Harris."

Lexa took a slight bow, and said, "An honor to meet you, Soun-san. I'm in your debt for letting me spend my vacation here. I shall repay the favor if you ever come to my humble home in Sunnydale."

"A pleasure to meet you, Lexa-san, my home is your home for the duration of your stay," Soun said with his own slight bow, while Nabiki rolled her eyes.

"This is Nabiki," Ranma said casually, while looking suspiciously at the usually devious brunette.

"A pleasure," Lexa said taking another slight bow. The brunette regarded the gesture with a dry look, not even bothering to remove the arms from her chest, let alone bother stop leaning back against the frame.

The girl's right eyebrow rose as she regarded Lexa straightening up, and she asked, "Which one of you is the smartest? You or Ranma?"

"Huh?" Lexa answered brilliantly confused.

"As I thought," Nabiki smiled, nodded, then turned and walked into the house, thinking, -This guy is going to be easier to clean out than Ranma.-

Lexa shook herself from her confusion and before Ranma could say anything, she turned to the last girl, and said, "Then you must be Kasumi, the nicest girl and best cook in the world according to Ranma's letters. I'm Lexa - Xander."

"Oh, uh," Kasumi blurted out, blushing and looking down with humility. "I try," she said and then quickly she said, "Food is cooking." She turned around and walked away embarrassedly just as quickly as she arrived.

"Ah, well, introductions are over, come in," Tendo spoke with a smile.

"Growf," Genma grumbled and nodded his Panda head twice.

"Let me get my backpack first," Lexa said, and quickly dashed back to get her giant luggage backpack.

When she returned girl-Ranma told her, looking at the see-through shirt, "You're lucky the old pervert is out, probably on one of his underwear raids."

"Underwear raids?" Lexa asked confused.

"You'll find out soon enough," Ranma said, and led Lexa inside to find him/her a place to sleep.

-----

**Sunnydale**

Buffy and Willow and came out of the hospital. They were silent, walking forward almost like they were zombies. "I'm bored," Buffy commented finally, snapping both of them out of their trance.

"Yeah, me too," Willow replied, then shook her head to shake her drowsiness, "Giles is great as a researcher and at telling us how to kill evil things, but in a hospital room - not the best of company."

"Poor Jenny," Buffy said in sympathy, then looked over at Willow, "She's with him much longer than our little visits."

"Yeah . . ." Willow said, the two of them turning right onto the pavement, "perhaps the testosterone she induces makes him more Ripperish."

"Huh?"

"Girlfriend make Giles go caveman?" Willow clarified with a wry smile, started to suspect more often than not Buffy just said 'huh' for the heck of every word longer than two syllables, even when she perfectly understood it. It was kinda cute, and probably why she did it.

"Oh, right," Buffy answered, nodding. "Sometimes Giles could do with being a little less Watchery, and a little more Rippery, not much, just a smidgeon."

Willow turned her head and regarded Buffy for a short while as they walked along, "Undoubtedly the next evil thing we have to defeat is a magically made full on Ripper Giles."

"Ack!" Buffy exclaimed in horror. "I need fun, something to kick start my brain now before I jinx us all to kingdom come. Ah, there I go again!"

Willow laughed, and Buffy enjoyed the sound. The witch then told her, "Well, we're free. We already did our training, so we can go anywhere we want to."

"Bronze," both of them said the same time, nodding at each other.

-----

The music blasted through the small hall. On a Monday incredibly, but then, it _/was/_ vacation. Disco lights flashed, and in the middle were Buffy and Willow dancing to their hearts' content. Willow was in tight, dark-brown leather pants, that hugged her figure perfectly. Her tummy was bare and a short-sleeved green top was above it; her red hair contrasting nicely with the dark green. Buffy in contrast was in a short, pleaded skirt, and a white blouse. The two swung back and forth, and regularly rode up against each other, letting their breasts move up the other's torso. Not too surprisingly, there was a whole horde of guys dancing around them, salivating at the two girls having fun.

Buffy looked over her right shoulder, her head only barely moved, the rest was done by her eyes. A seductive smile and seductive look in the corner of her eyes, had the guy of her attention practically cream his pants. She smirked and let Willow pull her closer, the redhead's hands on the small of her back, slowly going down to her barely-covered ass. "God, it's fun toying around with hormonal guys' attractions," Buffy whispered loudly in Willow's air, the place of her head making it look on one side that she was kissing Willow.

The witch in training grinned, and returned the whisper, "Yeah, all the heartache of every girl after Xander is worth being taught this."

They broke apart again, and pulled a few boys to themselves, dancing with them around them. Girls around the Bronze who were left in the dust were looking pissed. A few with arms folded across their chest, knowing that two teases would soon quit, and it was time for some payback on their dates.

A little later the band took a break, and there were disappointed sounds. Willow grabbed Buffy by her right hand and pulled her off the dance floor to their table, looking back at the blonde and smiling naughtily. Buffy laughed, when she heard the even more disappointed sounds from the boys. Soon they sat down at their table, Willow raising her legs and laying them out on another stool, covering it, and making it impossible for anyone to join them.

Sitting down, Buffy admired the leather pants. "You look so good in leather, Will, I'm almost jealous. I didn't know you could afford them," Buffy said with a wistful smile.

Willow's face broke in a wide smile, and said, "Yeah, filling in as librarian for a hospitalized Giles has its perks." To emphasize the item bought with the perks, Willow gently slapped her right thigh, making a light smacking sound, and then ran her hand a little down along he leather hugging her shapely leg. Willow looked back at Buffy and said, "I'm certain you'd look amazing in leather too, Buffy."

Buffy smiled, and looked down at her own naked legs, only partially covered by socks, heels, and a skirt. "You might be right," Buffy said with a light smile. They broke out in a little laughter. When Willow was sure all their dance partners had retreated to their own spots, she pulled her legs from the stool and turned to face Buffy. She placed her arms on the round table and leaned on them, looking Buffy who took the same position, both leaning forward for some more intimacy. "Can you imagine us doing this last year, talking like this?" Buffy asked the redhead.

Willow laughed, and shook her head. "No, the best we'd manage is me pining over Xander not noticing you, and you pining over either Slayer troubles, vampire-Slayer-relationship troubles, or both."

Buffy chuckled, and answered, "Yeah . . . well, unless it's you pining over Xander sitting right next to you pining over me."

"Probably doing what we were just doing," Willow agreed with a grin.

"Nah, I wouldn't do that to you guys," Buffy said with a grin, and then pouted, "Well, unless I was trying to make Angel jealous. I remember when Lexa just got here, I was looking around hoping for Angel to come in, so I could pull some random guy on the dance floor . . . and then Lexa and you stole the show. God, was I jealous. Seriously, I knew if Angel would come in at that moment, I didn't have to bother trying to make him jealous, his eyes would be glued to Lexa, whether I'd be joining you two on the dance floor or not."

Willow snickered, "Lexa is and was smoking that night - the day she changed my entire world view."

Their good mood went down at the memories, especially Buffy over Angel, shivering again as for a moment she remembered his clammy corpse body against hers. She smiled suddenly, determined not to get in a funk on this great night. She jumped off her stool, and said, "I'll get some drinks, dancing is dehydrating business." And off Buffy went, leaving a wide-eyed Willow.

A little while later Buffy returned, placing their drinks in front of them. She sat down and looked up, and became very much aware of Willow looking at her with an odd, triumphant smile. Buffy looked behind her, then back at Willow, and asked with a confused pout, "What?"

"I knew it," Willow said with a grin, "you're faking it."

"Huh?" Buffy added, totally confused now.

"Dehydrating business," Willow repeated Buffy's earlier words, "if you can say that correctly, 'testosterone' shouldn't be any trouble. You fake you huhs, and your confused looks."

"Not all of them," Buffy said indignantly.

Willow grinning widely, "Why?"

Buffy smiled and looked down, shaking her head. "I was really confused, no fakes at first. It was Giles' long foreign words that got to me most. Anyway, I noticed Xander perking up; I figured he liked the pout I give when I get confused. You obviously loved that you were smarter than I am, so I thought if it perks you both up, and all it takes is me being confused, why not fake it?" Willow looked with an astonished but happy smiling look at Buffy. Then Buffy leant even more forward, mysteriously, and beckoned Willow over. "Shh," Buffy said secretively, reeling Willow in, who was obviously all ears now. "But most of all, it annoys Giles, and it's fun annoying Giles. You can just see him think: 'Bloody American teenagers!'"

Willow blinked at Buffy continuing to grin at her, looking a little surprised. Then she burst out in laughter. Buffy chuckled happily along with her laughing friend, noticing how the redhead's long, flowing hair shook from side to side. "You're a bad, Buffy, bad," Willow said at last. They just sat in friendly silence for a bit, and then Willow said, "So, you wanna dance, or should we torment one specific guy?"

-----

**Nerima**

In the end they had decided that Xander would sleep in the room with Ranma and his father. They slept on a mattress and there was enough room for another one. Also there was enough shelf space for Xander to put his things, since Genma and Ranma, having traveled around all their lives didn't own much. So Xander unpacked his large backpack, and eventually came across some girl outfits, as well as panties and bras. Ranma who was standing next to him waiting, looked shocked.

"You've got bras and panties?" he exclaimed in shocked horror. "And skirts?"

Xander looked at him while putting his stuff away, and said, "I'm a girl half the time, of course I've got them."

"AARGH! You can't be serious, men don't wear that," Ranma exclaimed in horror.

"When I wear it, I'm not a man, I'm a woman," Xander said, grinning, having gone through something similar with Ryoga he was already aware what the problem was; Japanese sense of male honor.

"But, but . . . that's not real, that's a curse!" Ranma said in horror.

"Ranma, you got to stop thinking like that," Xander said sagely, "Do you know how many men and women out there would give to be able to be the other gender for a even short while? We can choose to be either whenever we want to!"

Ranma looked at him in shock, "That's just wrong. I'm a man, not a girl . . . it's just wrong!"

"Plus, in your case that's important, the less you have against being either state, the less the curse will mess with you," Xander said with a wide grin. "The more you have against one of your forms, the more the curse will actively try to get you in that form. Water will come from places it normally couldn't just to get change you."

Ranma's jaw dropped, as he tried to wrap his mind around it. There was no way he'd just enjoy being a girl, it seems that to beat the curse he had to embrace the very reason why he hated it. "That's . . . that's evil!"

"It's a curse, what did you expect?" Xander said with a smirk, filing away the last of his clothes. "You know, the best way to get you familiar with your feminine side; you fingered yourself yet."

"Ah? You're a pervert!" Ranma exclaimed instantly at the thought.

"Oh, please, it's my body, I get to do with it as I please," Xander told him smirk, audibly slamming the drawer of the small cabinet with drawers shut.

"That's just, that's just wrong! There's no way in hell . . ." Ranma paused as he saw Xander roll his eyes. "Okay, for giving me that picture you get your ass kicked. Let's go, Harris, we got some sparring to do, and see if you improved any."

-----

Xander and Ranma stood across from each other in the wooden dojo, Xander smiling lightly, Ranma smirking. In the entrance stood the Tendo family and Ranma's father.

Nabiki took the fight in, and turned to her family, "Anyone wants to bet Ranma loses?" They all turned to regard her. "Didn't think so, damn," she said, and leaned casually against the door frame.

"Prepare to get your ass kicked, Xander," Ranma said and then attacked rapidly. His open hand palm struck at Xander's chin, and Xander took a step back and deflected the blow with his right. A left got the same treatment, and Xander jumped up. Ranma followed, and his hands turned to a blur, saying, "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire!"

"Chestnuts roasting on an open fire!" echoed from Xander, his own hands turning into a blur parrying and blocking each of Ranma's. The last of the exchange had Xander's hands landing on the surprised Ranma's chest.

Xander landed smoothly, as did Ranma, the latter being thrown back, but somersault backward in the air to land. There was a surprised silence for a moment, and then Genma jumped in the air triumphantly, one fist raised, yelling, "That's my sons!"

"You never wrote your Amazon taught you that," Ranma said measuredly, taking in Xander, realizing this wasn't going to be as easy as he had thought. He was still going to win, he knew, having seen several flaws in Xander's technique, and he had allowed Xander to hit him by his surprise Xander knew the Chestnuts, not because Xander was better.

"Hey, gotta keep some secrets," Xander answered with a shrug.

A moment later they were fighting again. Xander deflected one of Ranma's punches, then ducked to avoid a roundhouse kick. He made a swipe for Ranma's standing leg at the same time, but one leg was enough for Ranma to jump back, somersault and land. A moment later he was in Xander's face again, throwing a punch. When Xander went to deflect it, Ranma grabbed Xander's arm, and slammed his remaining one in Xander's gut. He followed it up with a open-handed upper cut, and then twisted around, tossing Xander over his shoulder.

Xander slammed with a grunt on the hard wooden floor, but immediately kicked his right leg up and back, slamming it into Ranma's face who hadn't had time to back away because of Xander's quick reaction. As Ranma staggered back, Xander flipped back to his feet. He turned around right away, lifting his left leg in a swiping high kick. Ranma ducked underneath it, and took a step back, getting closer to the exit door leading to outside.

Xander decided to attack and made a rapid combination of punches, all of which Ranma avoided or blocked. Ranma looked deeply into Xander's eyes for a moment, giving Xander an opportunity. Xander kicked out rapidly, and caught Ranma square in his stomach, launching him backward, against the door which swung open, and then outside till he manage to land in the grass. Xander quickly followed Ranma out and jumped down the small decline of the foundation upon which the house and dojo was built. When Xander was out, the Tendos followed the two out to see.

Xander stood in the grass and saw the heavily breathing Ranma, feeling his tender stomach. Xander attacked again, rapidly, and Ranma was on the defensive. After a few seconds of this Xander backed off, looking at his friend. It seemed as if Ranma couldn't keep up with his speed and power. That couldn't be? Could it? Could training with a Slayer and Lotion and Ryoga as apposed to just alone with no equal have progressed him so much? Xander quickly squashed that thought; thinking like that would lead to an utter total humiliating defeat. Ranma had to be up to something, but what?

Xander grimaced, and attacked once more, harder this time, much harder. Continuing to fight was his only option; he had to look out for whatever Ranma had to be planning, and hope the extra speed and power he was pumping into the fight would keep Ranma from executing it. Multiple punches and kicks followed, and all Ranma did was block and back away, and he looked to be straining. A few even got through. And yet, there was nothing unusual, no sight of anything out of the ordinary. Except perhaps . . .?

Xander was right, but too late. There was one thing out of the ordinary: Ranma was backing away in perfect ever shrinking concentric circles. Now reaching the middle, he threw his fist up in an uppercut to mid-air, and shouted, "HIRYU SHOTEN HA!"

Instantly there was high-pitched roar, and a dragon made of pure energy, a head and a long tail, burst forth from the ground, high up into the air, it's snake-like body twisting rapidly around. At the same time a roaring powerful tornado burst forth from its body around the circles Ranma had moved. "WAH!" Xander screamed as he was picked up, and twirled around it like little leaf in a gale wind. Ranma himself was picked up as well, but smoothly navigated the currents. Not long after Xander was launched from the tornado with great force, screaming all the way. With a powerful smack he crashed into the garden tree, his stomach bashing into branches. The same thing happened to his head. "Argh, uuuh . . ." he groaned out, as the tornado lost power and dissipated. Ranma landed smoothly on the floor, grinning up at a totally dazed Xander. Xander groaned and reached for his head to steady it: big mistake. His body was no longer balanced and tipped off the branch. "Oh, shit!" Xander exclaimed as he fell down. His back slammed on a branch, making him groan in pain, then he tipped over, and fell further, crashing painfully on the ground.

"Aargh!" he exclaimed and stayed put for several seconds as Ranma walked over.

"You alright aren't you?" Xander's Japanese friend asked with a big smirk.

"What - argh - happened?" Xander asked, groaning all the way. Slowly he forced himself to his feet, being pulled along by Ranma, and groaning at the pains in his body.

"That was the Flying Dragon Wind," Ranma said with a big grin, "I used the hotness of your attacks, while I lowered the temperature of my chi to icy temperatures. Mixing them together in circles and using them both I can summon a dragon and form a tornado."

Xander looked at Ranma dumbfounded for several moments, while the Tendos and Genma came closer, Genma grinning proudly. "You _/have/_ to teach me!" Xander then exclaimed. "Ow!" he said, his sudden outburst making him ache once more.

"And what's in it for me?" Ranma asked folding his hands across his chest. He grinned, showing that he didn't really mean it.

Xander looked down and back. He leant and around the corner was the pond, surrounded by stones. "This," Xander said and walked over, Ranma following. When Xander reached a stone, he stabbed downward at it. His finger smoothly penetrated, and then the stone exploded. Xander smiled back at Ranma, and said, "You teach me that tornado, I teach you the Breaking Point technique."

Ranma looked with wide eyes at the event, the others arriving at the site. The Tendos and Genma recognized it easily, but before anyone of them could answer, Ranma realized, "YOU TAUGHT RYOGA THE CHESTNUTS TECHNIQUE!"

"In exchange for the Breaking Point, yep," Xander said nodding his head.

"You little bastard! Couldn't you have warned me!" Ranma called out angrily.

Xander grinned at Ranma, "What is it, Ranma? Don't tell me all Ryoga needed to defeat you was that little technique."

"Of course not," Ranma answered immediately, folding his arms across his chest, looking angrily at the absurd notion.

Akane decided to point out, "Of course, Ranma-idiot did get beaten up good before he finally defeated Ryoga."

"That was a lucrative day," Nabiki said with a smile, nodding at the memory.

Xander frowned at that for a moment, and then dismissed it with a shake of his hand, and asked Ranma, "So, we have a deal?"

"We have a deal," Ranma answered, smiling in anticipation. He then took a step forward as if to shake Xander's hand, and then with a quick motion tossed him into the pond. Ranma rubbed his hand back and forth, almost slapping, and grinned. Lexa rose from the water and looked up at Ranma with annoyance. "For not warning me," Ranma said.

"Making me wet?" Lexa asked, and shrugged her shoulders, stepping out. Casually she shook herself trying to get most of the water off. While the others looked rather surprised he had no qualms about being a girl, not a shred of anger.

-----

Xander blocked the punches and kicks that Ranma was throwing at him. He was going backward in circles. He was trying to feel and take a hold of Ranma's hot attacking chi. At the middle, he threw an uppercut, saying, "Hiryu Shoten Ha!"

Nothing happened. "We'll try again," Ranma said with a grin, "Your circles aren't round enough, and your chi has to remain cold. It kept going up to hot."

Off to the side Akane was angrily training herself: smashing to pieces several wooden boards at once. Then she got a new stack, and went again. She looked up for a moment at Ranma and Xander going at it heavily, and then haughtily return to smashing her boards. After two more smashes she grabbed her towel, wrapped it around her neck, and went to the exit. She reached it, turned to regard Xander and Ranma one last time, and muttered annoyed, "Men."

"Yes, and some mighty fine specimens indeed," Nabiki's cool voice sounded.

Akane jerked in surprise, turning her head to see Nabiki arrive, regarding her with a measured look. "Hm," Akane offered.

"Come now, Akane, even you have to see that physically they are very well endowed," Nabiki said with a cool smirk, letting her eyes glide over the two sweaty, training guys without shame. "If only they had the bank checks to match their physique, eh?"

"Nabiki, you . . . ugh," Akane grunted, and then moved passed her sister. Nabiki grinned, and continued to ogle Xander and Ranma for a bit longer.

Once again Xander failed to perform the Hiryu Shoten Ha.

-----

**Night**

In the cover of darkness, the barely four foot man snuck into room from outside. "Hmm," the old geezer whispered to himself, "let's see if Ranma is a girl tonight." He tiptoed over, and blinked when even in the darkness he could clearly count three heads attached to three forms. "Three?" he asked himself softly, and took a closer look. Dark hair, darker than Ranma's girl-form lay on a pillow, and he peered. She moved. Yes! It was a girl! As she turned a bit her face became more visible: luscious lips, lovely bone structure, magnificent nose - he wondered what her eyes looked like. Not as important, salivated he looked down, and manage to make out two lumps even in the darkness and the bed covers. His hands came forward, and he stopped himself. It was a Herculean effort, but a thought had struck his mind.

"Let's see if she has any underwear around first," he muttered and looked around. It didn't take him long to find the cabinet and try the drawers. One drawer: pants, shirts. Another drawer: male underwear. And another: female clothes. That left only one drawer: with a face full of anticipation the little man pulled out the drawer, which made creak and then looked inside over the edge. "Sweet jackpot!" he exclaimed with a croak at the sight of panties and bras. He quickly placed his hand over his mouth, and looked back to see if he had woken anyone. Then his maniacal grin returned and he grabbed some of the panties and stuffed them in the bag he had slung over one of his shoulders. "Ooh, sweet," he said softly.

"**-Who the hell are you, and what the hell are you doing?-"**

The old guy froze at the cold demand, and turned around. The new girl was sitting up, a pair of just about perfect sized and shaped breasts now above the covers. "Hey!" she suddenly exclaimed as a short stare had allowed her to identify some of the contents sticking out of the bag, and the panties in the old guy's hands. "Those are my bras and panties!"

The exclaim woke the two other occupants up, sitting up similarly, at the same time the old man launched forward. "SWEEEEET!" he screamed happily, latching onto Lexa's breast.

"WHAT THE? Aah, get off me!" Lexa raged.

Ranma next to her was now fully awake, "HAPPOSAI! YOU PERVERTED GEEZER, CAN'T YOU EVER LEARN?"

Ranma reached over rapidly, and Happosai jumped back with a happy laugh to avoid Ranma's grab, saying, "Too slow, Ranma!" Instead Ranma grabbed Lexa's left breast - he swallowed, usually this was where he got his ass kicked multiple ways.

"Don't you start too, Ranma!" Lexa exclaimed and pushed his hand away. Lexa was up instantly, and as she - clad only in a g-string - charged after the old geezer who was now out the door, she screamed, "You don't have to worry about Ranma, you piece of perverted shit! Give me back my underwear!"

The lights came on in the house, as the commotion woke up the rest as well. Laughing heartily Happosai ran around a corner toward the dining room and kitchen, Lexa yelling profanities right behind him. Behind her Ranma and Genma completed the train. In the light it was now easily to see that the old guy was wearing a purple gi, and a purple handkerchief tied around his head to obscure his identity. "Give it back, you dirty pipsqueak!" Lexa yelled.

"Finders keepers!" Happosai called back happily, reaching the stairs. Up above stood Soun - Akane and Kasumi somewhat sleepily behind him.

Nabiki rubbing her eyes just came out of her room, and muttered, "What's all the commotion?"

"STEALING IS NOT FINDING!" Lexa screamed, and Happosai stopped running. "CHESTNUTS ROASTING ON AN OPEN FIRE!" Lexa yelled, jumping forward with the devastating move.

Happosai almost casually retrieved a pipe from the insides of his gi-jacket with his free hand, and proceeded to smoothly block each hit and attempted grab for the underwear with the pipe. "Too slow," he said with a grin at Lexa's astonished look. A moment later the tobacco section of the pipe slammed into Lexa's stomach, making her double over. With a flick the pipe slammed in her chin and she was launched backward off her feet, moaning in pain.

"Ah, master!" Soun called in horror, as Lexa slammed into Ranma and Genma sending all three down.

"Oh, my," Kasumi said with mortification.

As Akane was growing angry at the old man, Nabiki yawned, and turned around. "Oh, it's just the old guy again, I'm going back to bed," she said, walking back into her room. "They should invest in better locks," she muttered, before closing and locking her door.

Happosai in the meantime was happily jumping up and down and turning to leave the house, saying, "Sweet panties, all mine."

"AARGH!" Lexa screamed in rage, jumping up from her downed position. "That's it you perverted old geezer, you are going down!"

Lexa charged Happosai who quickly ran out the door. "What Xander said, you bastard!" Ranma exclaimed quickly following the two, "You'll have to face both of us now!" Soun and his two daughters quickly came down the stairs, joining below with Genma and followed after the first three.

"Hey! Two against one isn't fair!" Happosai exclaimed outside in the garden.

"Especially if you're holding a bag of underwear with one hand, huh!" Ranma exclaimed as the two teens simply barreled at the much smaller old man. Happosai hesitated between protecting himself and his treasure of women's underwear, which became his undoing. Lexa slammed into him, sending him flying back, while Ranma grabbed the bag and pulled it away.

"Give me that, Ranma, I want my underwear back," Lexa said pissed off, grabbing the bag and pulling it to her.

She pulled out her underwear, as Happosai slowly got up, whimpering. He felt his ass, which is what he landed up, gave a wail, and then his demeanor changed. "THAT'S IT!" the old guy screeched angrily, face twisted in rage, and a moment later among dangerous lightning flashes a giant Happosai of pure chi energy toward above him and the house. "NOBODY MESSES WITH MY UNDERWEAR COLLECTION! FOR THIS YOU WILL PAY!"

"It's _/not/your/_ underwear, you perverted bastard! It's _/my/_ underwear!" Lexa yelled back angrily, going through the bag to see if there was more of her.

"You will feel the wrath of my most dangerous, and deadly attack for this: the Happosai Fireburst!" Happosai exclaimed angrily, his battle aura shrinking back down, while an unholy gleam glimmered in his eyes.

"Oh, no, master, please don't!" Soun Tendo exclaimed in horror. Akane took a step back, swallowing.

Genma sank to his knees, calling, "Not that. Oh, of horrors, don't!" Even Ranma took a an involuntary step back at the implication.

"Oh, my, this isn't good, is it?" Kasumi said gently, brining her hand up to her chin to signify her apprehension.

Lexa though, just put her underwear on the ground, went into a fighting stance, and yelled, "Bring it on, old man, show me what you've got so I can kick your ass properly!"

"Oh, no, don't say that!" Genma said cowering.

"You little insolent brat!" Happosai exclaimed, and pulled from his gi-jacket a round ball, with now a sizzling fuse.

Lexa looked confused for a moment, and she said, "That's not an attack. That's a bomb!" Happosai giggled evilly, and then tossed the bomb. "A bomb!" Lexa exclaimed and dove to the side, as did Ranma, the Tendos and Genma ducked and put their arms protectively in front of them. The bomb exploded where they had been, sending the underwear flying everywhere. Enough of the explosion sent both Lexa and Ranma tumbling, the shockwave hurting them.

"Oh, no! My precious!" Happosai said in horror, watching both singed, destroyed and intact underwear floating through the air everywhere.

Lexa got back up, as did Ranma. "Son of a . . . that old geezer," Ranma said to himself, in no mood to become a target for more bombs.

Lexa was only more pissed off, yelling, "You little, perverted chickenshit. You threw a fucking bomb at us! A bomb!"

Happosai turned to Lexa, and his face twitched, "You made me hurt my precious! Feel my wrath!" More bombs were tossed toward Lexa, who jumped back afraid. One explosion followed another as Lexa jumped aside and was tossed about.

"Stop, you nutcase!" she called out genuinely afraid, and rightfully so. "You're crazy!"

After a few more bombs, Happosai stopped, and with an maniacal grin, he asked, "So, you're going to apologize to me now? I demand an apology!" She was in front of the door again with the cowering Tendos, and a weary Ranma close by her, Happosai now more to the right of his former position.

"Oh, master, oh, master!" Soun Tendo and Genma groveled going toward the perverted old man. "Please stop, before you bombs hit the house!"

Lexa still looked a little afraid at the old man, ready to light another. The she hardened, rising up slowly and dangerously, she said in a low growl, "That's it. Two can play this game!" Lexa then bolted into the house, blowing past an astonished Akane and Kasumi.

Happosai blinked, as everyone looked at the door where Lexa had disappeared from sight in dumbfoundment. "Two can play this game? What does he mean, Saotome?" Soun asked Genma, who shrugged. Happosai took two steps forward, surprised at the reaction, and Ranma stayed put with wide eyes.

From inside came Lexa's voice, yelling, "Mr. Tendo, I pay you back for the ingredients!"

"Ingredients?" Ranma asked.

"She went toward the washing room, I don't know what she wants there," Kasumi observed helpfully.

"Washing room?" Genma muttered.

Ranma then remembered one of Xander's letters; his eyes widened and he muttered, "He can't be serious. . ." Happosai's eyes went wide, coming toward a similar realization, obviously having some knowledge of explosives. Slowly he started to tiptoe toward the wall, knowing when not to stick around.

"**-Oh, Happosai!-"**

Happosai froze and turned around, and saw the naked Lexa - barring her g-string and straps of a backpack - stand there with a grin as evil as his own. For a moment he thought about charging the vision of beauty and molest her again, but then he became aware of the small bag landing with a crunching sound on her outstretched hand. She had tossed it in the air earlier, and had been invisible - apart from the sizzling, burning fuse which landed smoothly straight up without her even looking at it - because it was dark - a part of a garbage bag. Everyone else looked with shock at Lexa, and before they could say anything, she called out, "I call it the Xander Starburst Special! EAT THIS!"

She tossed her bag, and Happosai jumped up and back in fear, easily flying over the surrounding wall - which was incidentally what the bag crashed into. There was a mighty explosion, and the wall was sprung apart, forming a three meter wide wall at the base, and a five meter one at the top; the remaining wall edges now diagonal, a few chunks falling down.

"My wall," Soun muttered close to crying.

"Why you!" Happosai exclaimed, and tossed one of his own bombs down, a bigger one this time. With a roar of anger Lexa jumped forward, and batted the bomb off to the left. It landed at the base of the tree near the pond, and exploded, sending wood of the trees base flying everywhere. A moment later it noisily toppled over.

"My tree!" Soun now cried out, while the rest just looked on in shock . . .

Except Lexa and Happosai. "GET BACK HERE, OLD MAN!" Lexa yelled, tossing the next bomb. Happosai jumped high again, and a following explosion later the neighbors' wooden fence was all but shredded, a much, much bigger destruction than the stone wall.

"You, brat!" Happosai called back, and another bomb was tossed. Lexa avoided it, and it flew onward, exploding in the Tendos' house, sending part of the roof flying, and collapsing one section of the wall.

"My house!" Soun now wailed out. Akane and Kasumi quickly walked outside, since the destruction was close by and they didn't want to get buried in case their part came tumbling down next.

Ranma, Genma, and the Tendos were in silent shock, except Kasumi, who said nicely, "Oh, my." Behind them more explosions sounded and they walked to the hole in the wall, except Soun, who came crawling in defeat.

There they were: Happosai and Lexa jumping high and other reactions to avoid bombs, while they tossed them back and forth. The neighborhood, a suburb with lovely houses, and mostly small gardens surrounded almost exclusively by wooden fences was being laid to waste by explosions. Lights were flicked on in most houses by people coming to see what was going on. Fences were blown apart, the middle part of a tree was completely destroyed before the top came tumbling down. All this amidst yells of, "OLD BASTARD!" "BRAD!" "HOLD STILL, PERVERTED GEEZER!" "YOU DO THAT, FRIGID BITCH!" "I'M NAKED, AND YOU CALL ME FRIGID, DECREPIT STALKER!"

Eventually Happosai stood on the house at the far end of the small street the two had moved along bringing destruction everywhere, while Lexa was standing down in the garden. Apart from smudges neither were harmed. "What's the matter old man, out of bombs?" Lexa called up, chuckling evilly while reaching back in her backpack. Her chuckles and her grin faded.

"I see I'm not the only one," Happosai said with a grin.

Just as the battle was about to continue, the sounds of police sirens drew Lexa away from the old man. She turned around to see a police car screeching to a halt a little bit away. "SWEET!" Happosai exclaimed, having jumped down and now attacked to Lexa's breasts once again.

"AAAH!" The scream was all Lexa had time for before the small, old pervert was back up at the roof and jumped to the next one, making his getaway laughing all the way. Lexa made a fist, and hissed mad as hell, "That little . . ."

"FREEZE!"

Lexa grumbled and turned around to regard the police officers who were pointing their guns at her across their opened doors. "Oh, uh, high their officers, you probably to know why I helped cause all this destruction huh?" Lexa said with a big disarming grin, and now took the time to _/really/_ see the destruction. Blackened craters everywhere, destroyed fences, several destroyed, garden, kids' playing appliances, a few destroyed roofs, and two, not counting the Tendos', destroyed fronts of houses, along with several fires. "Yikes," Lexa muttered. She took a small step back, and said, "You so the guy, assaulting my breasts right? Well, he assaulted me before, stole my underwear too, given the size of his bag, you have to know about a pervert stealing underwear all around Tokyo, right?"

"Uh, yes, well, but . . ." the dumbfounded cop on the driver side said, feeling horrible about pulling guns on such a sweet, super hot, and all but naked girl. All but naked, his brain frying up, think! The other cop couldn't even get anything out of his mouth, he just stared disbelieving at naked girl, and the destruction around her - which was really only a tiny fraction of the total destruction right behind him.

"You see! When I went after him, he started tossing bombs at me, so I had to defend myself, and put some bombs of myself together, all self-defense you see? What's a poor, defenseless, naked girl with no more underwear to do when attacked by a pervert, hmm? You don't think I can be faulted for this then, can you?" Lexa asked sweetly, playing the poor, defenseless girl-part to the hilt.

"Ah, well I suppose n- . . ." the cop stated.

"In that case, I might as well leave. Thank you, officers!" Lexa said, giving them a good-bye wave. Then she jumped up on the house roof, jumped to the next roof, then another and was out of sight.

"Impossible," the second cop finally managed to say, looking up after her.

"I still don't believe this," the other muttered still in shock.

The other with all the effort he could muster manage to turn his head to his partner, and said, "I guess now we know why we rookies were sent here, huh?"

The other cop looked around him, remembering the two figures jumping impossibly high around and tossing bombs at each other. Bombs! Thus causing all the devastation. The place was in ruins, and some people were coming out of their houses, still too disbelieving to cry or be angry; most of them had barely noticed what it was that had happened. The cop nodded and muttered, "How are we going to explain this? We write this up, the department shrink is going to send us to a mental institution."

After a few moments of silence the other asked, "Gas explosions?" The turned to look at him, as if to ask, 'Lie?' The other one added, "Means insurance also covers their damage, no need to make all these people suffer even more under that perverted freak."

"Good idea," the officers said and quickly got back in the car. He pulled his radio, and said, "Uh, dispatch, get firefighters to the Nerima district; we've had multiple gas explosions . . ."

Back at the Tendos house, several people stood in the hole, looking around. "I don't believe it," Akane muttered, taking in the devastation.

"Damn," Ranma muttered and then grinned evilly, "I like it, I only wish one of those bombs had hit that old bastard. He almost got some of his own medicine."

"Oh, my," Kasumi gave her usual, gentle statement of shock.

"SAOTOME! This is all your fault!" Soun exclaimed turning to Ranma's father and pointed accusingly at him.

"My fault? How is this my fault, Tendo!" Genma returned instantly.

"Because you trained the boy, if you hadn't, he wouldn't have been here!" Tendo replied instantly.

"And what about the master, hm?" Genma questioned his old friend once again.

"I accuse him, he'd beat me up before blowing me up!" Soun offered right away. Ranma and Akane groaned at that and rolled their eyes.

Genma squared his shoulders, and said, "Well, why don't you just blame the boy!"

Soun stopped short of his arguments for a moment, looked up to consider and then said, "That could work, friend-Genma."

Akane and Ranma rolled their eyes again, and the first said, "In case you haven't paid attention, _/dad/_, the 'boy' might very well decide to blow you up just as easily as Happosai can."

Soun's eyes widened again as he realized his daughter was right, and then he pointed at Genma, saying, "I knew it! This is all your fault, Saotome!"

Ranma and Akane lifted their hands to the sky in despair, and Ranma said, "Bunch of cowards." Then the two of them stalked back toward the partially destroyed house. Kasumi joined them a moment later rather flustered, leaving Genma and Soun to argue.

Up in the second floor, Nabiki was leaning on her window sill, her window open. She looked over the devastation, thinking of the two throwing bombs at each other. "Wow. If I had known this, I could have made a pile . . . I could have made piles. Oh, well, you win some, you don't win some," she said, shrugging her shoulders. She went back inside, sliding the window shut, locking it, and then casually put the camera on her night stand. With a smirk she said, "That should fetch a pretty penny anyway though." Then she casually went back to bed.

-----

Lexa returned several minutes later, looking at the strewn about underwear, and quickly finding his own was all but destroyed. "Damn it, I'm going to have to buy new ones," she muttered to herself. "That god damned, old geezer."

-----

**Sunnydale**

"I'll get it, mom!" Buffy called, and hurried over to the door. Willow remained patiently on the couch in the living room. She opened the door, and said, "Oh, hi, Cordelia. Hi, Oz."

"Hello, Buffy," Cordelia said, and Oz gave a grunt.

She stepped back, and the two of them took the unsaid invitation. "Hey, guys," Willow greeted from her position on the couch.

"Hello, Willow," Cordelia greeted and Oz gave a nod that Willow correctly interpreted as a greeting.

"What's up?" Buffy asked as she entered the living room behind them.

"My mom is determined to drag me on her business trip for two days. Something about it being good for my education," Cordelia explained casually, "and you know what tonight is."

Willow nodded and answered, "Last day of Oz's three day cycle; day after full moon."

"Exactly," Cordelia said, nodding and glad Willow was up to date, "that means that since I'm not there to keep OzWolf in his place - sorry, Oz . . ."

"No problem," Oz answered calmly.

". . . he's going to be all grrr, and I need someone to Ozsit for me," Cordelia went onward and turned to Buffy. "Since you're the big bad Slayer around here Buffy, I was thinking of you."

"Oh . . . sure," Buffy answered the cheerleader captain.

"Good, now for the very same reasons I've managed to convince my mother that it would be good to get a trial run at living alone, which means I've annexed the Chase Estate garden house," Cordelia explained, and pulled out a key and a keycard. She was about to continue, but then asked, "You know the address, right?"

"Of course, the huge building, who doesn't know where that is?" Buffy asked somewhat annoyed.

Cordelia looked at Buffy suspiciously and then handed out the key and the keycard. She explained, "The keycard is for the gate, the key for the garden house. I've set up a cage for Oz, and he has a key and keycard too, so he'll be there on time. There's drinks, chips, tv, DVD-player so you can rent DVDs if you want too - if the rental rents them finally that is - there's a VCR if it doesn't, and dad's playstation with some games. You can make yourself at home. Oz's steak is in the refrigerator, eating something calms him down."

"DVD?" Buffy asked with a confused pout.

"Basically CD for movies, Buffy," Willow explained quickly.

"Why don't they just use CDs for movies?" Buffy asked trying to figure it out.

"Because they're not big enough," Cordelia answered with a little annoyance.

"Oh, so they're really big then?" Buffy asked, holding her hands apart.

Cordelia sighed a long suffering sigh, and said, "No, they're just as big as CDs, just a little thicker, what I meant was, that it has more storage capacity!"

"Well, _/excuse/_ me for not being Miss Technology," Buffy replied, making Cordelia grumble with annoyance. Then she asked her, "Can I bring Willow?"

"Of course you can bring Willow!" Cordelia exclaimed, raising her hands in the air with frustration. "I'm starting to wonder if I shouldn't have asked someone else," she added in an almost hiss.

"She'll do fine, Cor," Oz said, calming Cordelia down some.

Buffy turned to Willow and asked, "Wanna come along, Willow?"

"Sure. A nice night of chick flicks as Xander calls it sounds like fun," Willow answered with a smile.

"Great, we'll be there," Buffy told the cheerleader and her werewolf.

"Good, then I can get out of this place," Cordelia answered and beckoned for Oz, who got up out of the couch and quickly followed Cordelia. Buffy went over and held the door open for them. They left.

Buffy turned around and saw Willow smiling. She raised her eyebrows at her. "You were faking it from big onward," Willow accused, repeating the size-gesture of Buffy with her hands.

Buffy smiled, and said, "Did you see her face? Almost as good as Giles." Willow giggled.

"So, uhm . . . what's the Chase address?" Buffy asked Willow a little embarrassed. Willow looked dumbfounded, and after peering, and realizing Buffy wasn't faking it this time, she went back to laughing.

-----

That night, along wit two rented video tapes, several bags of M&Ms and chocolate bars along just to be certain, the two girls were standing in Cordelia's little pad. They looked around in wonder. It had two stories, a stairs on the right leading to the second floor. They started just beyond the glass doors that lead to the pool. There was a book case at the far side, a table, a couch, and a bit entertainment center in the middle. To the left a bit beyond the small table was higher dinner table. Directly beyond it, close to the left corner was a door, that Buffy and Willow would later find to lead to the kitchen. Under the stairs was another door, which lead to the washing room. Against the left wall was a large cupboard, through the small glass windows in its doors, glasses and other table necessities were visible. The Next to the entertainment center set up, stood a small stand, in which, they later would find, the games and CDs were stored. Half-way the left wall was a corner, making the left side beyond it a little wider. The steel cage, some two meters high, was in that corner. "Jesus," Buffy said, looking around.

"Yeah, I think it's bigger than my parents' house, and this is just a garden house," Willow said with equal wide eyes.

"Ah, you're already here."

"DA!" both girls exclaimed, and jumped around with the shock. They regarded the just arrived Oz, who raised two eyebrows and formed a tiny smile, which was his equivalent of a belly laugh. "You scared us!" Buffy said the obvious.

"Sorry," he said, with just a hint of a smile. He walked over to the cage as the girls started settling in on the couch, Willow inspecting the entertainment set. He went inside, and slammed the door shut, making it fall in lock. "Ah," Oz said, drawing the girls' attention.

"Right," Buffy said and came over, testing the key of the cage for a moment, and then pulled it out. She took a few steps back, and Willow joined.

"Actually, in order to keep me from tearing apart my clothes and being without them in the morning, I take my clothes off before the transformation," Oz explained what he really had drawn their attention for.

"Sure, go right ahead," Willow said cheerily, and stayed put as Buffy turned around. The Slayer quickly grabbed the redhead's arm and pulled her around. "Oh, right, sorry."

A little while later Oz voice was replaced with angry growling. Willow and Buffy turned back around and the wolf lunged forward, crashing deliberately against the steel cage, rattling it, and growling at the girls. "I'll go get his steak, because he can use some calming down," Buffy muttered taking in the angry wolf.

"Yeah, hey, Ozzie," Willow said, waving happily at the wolf, who slammed against the cage again for it. Willow yanked back, and said, "Yikes."

"Which do you think is the kitchen?" Buffy asked her friend.

"Try 'em all, I'll set up the movies," Willow said happily.

-----

With OzWolf happy now that his belly was full of meat, Buffy and Willow could watch their movies in peace. The two were huddled together on the couch, sniffling, and crying. On the screen an old woman reached a railing and dropped a ring over it, falling into the water and sinking.

"Oh, god!" Buffy whimpered, as the credits started to play. "Titanic is _/so/_ sad!"

"Uhuh," Willow agreed, wiping away tears. They looked at each other and hugged. "Oh, I needed that," Willow added, feeling relieved after all the crying the movie had installed.

Buffy nodded. "Good thing we hired a comedy for the second one, I don't think I could handle another one of those," Buffy whimpered, enjoying the hug with her best friend.

"Yeah," Willow agreed. A bell rang, and the two looked up. "Pizza is here," Willow said with a smile. "We timed it perfectly."

"Great; I'll rewind, you get the food," Buffy smiled broadly, reaching over to the remote.

Willow smiled and got up, running toward the door. "You just don't want to pay," Willow accused the Slayer.

Willow went out the door and to the main gate. There she got the pizza and returned. Buffy was just reaching down to get the tape. Willow put the pizza on the table and opened it up. "Hmm, smells good," Willow said with a smile.

"I know," Buffy answered and put in the following movie. "I wish Xander was here. I remember us three going to the theater to watch it, that was just before the master. We had fun then didn't we?"

"Yeah, us three together guarantees loads of fun," Willow answered, remembering their little trip to the theater.

"Now we're stuck here, and he's off having fun in Japan . . . Shouldn't he have taken us along? Three friends on vacation?" Buffy asked her friend with a thoughtful look.

"Yeah, exactly! 'Cause friends go on vacation all the time? Why couldn't we come along?" Willow agreed, getting caught up in the emotion.

"Because we're _/girl/_ friends, and _/girl/_ friends can't understand boys, so they couldn't _/possibly/_ have as much fun together as two boys," Buffy mocked a pre-teen boy.

"Exactly! We could _/so/_ have a lot of fun there, especially with his friend around. Nice even four, who knows, you might like him, he you, and then we could have double dated!" Willow reflected the mounting emotion and argument back to Buffy smoothly.

"We should prepare a punishment for him not taking us along," Buffy said quickly, the unholy fire of a slighted woman in her eyes.

"Exactly! Not talk to him for a week, or something, or date other guys when he gets back, or something even worse," Willow returned, nodding her head vigorously.

They looked each other in the eyes for a few moments, then deflated. Buffy closed her eyes, and shaking her head she complained, "God, are we pathetic or what?"

"Definitely, just push 'play' quickly," Willow replied, feeling really down now, then remembered the pizza and perked up a bit.

-----

**Deep in the night**

"Yeah, take that, bitch, you're going down now!" Buffy exclaimed, pushing the buttons on the controller furiously. On the screen one three dimensional male fighter was fighting a female fighter, who was at the moment on the receiving end of some severe punishment. "There ya go! There ya go! Now it's grim reaper ti- . . .!" There was a snick, and the male fighter was no longer fighting. The female fighter rapidly took over with a devastating combo. "Ah, oh, noo!" Buffy exclaimed looking down . . . at a broken in half control.

"Die, Buffy! Getting your butt kicked now, huh! See, nerd trained finger dexterity is better than Slayer fingers any day! Woo- . . . oh!" Willow said, trailing off as looking triumphantly at Buffy, and noticed the broken controller. Buffy was pouting helplessly. "Okay, no more action games for the super-strength enhanced girl," Willow said nervously.

"Cordelia is going to hate me, isn't she?" Buffy asked with eyes angled down sadly.

"Well, no . . . I don't think so . . . I mean, I didn't feel like she cared much for the Playstation. It sounded like it just came with the garden house," Willow soothed her best friend.

"I'm so stupid," Buffy muttered and got up, walking toward the machine, obviously determined to put the controller back and the machine out.

"No, you're not, it was an accident that has nothing to do with how big your brain is," Willow said and put her controller on the table.

"Yeah, well," Buffy muttered putting it away. When she was done she saw Willow sitting there rather lifelessly and then she yawned widely. "You can go to sleep, you know? Slayer here, don't need as much sleep, I can stay awake easily. And OzWolf doesn't seem to be any trouble; again Slayer, and the tranquilizer gun is more than enough."

Willow looked up drowsily, and then shook her head, "No, just get me a few cups of very strong, black coffee and I'm good to go for a few more hours."

"Okay, if you're sure," Buffy said, and Willow nodded. The Slayer then went to the kitchen and went to make the coffee.

"Don't worry, Buffy! You can't screw up, now you _/have/_ to make the coffee much too strong!" Willow called after her friend with a tired smile.

"Ha! Ha!" Buffy called back. A short time later sounds of the coffee maker came from the kitchen, and Buffy returned to the living room. She sat down in a chair diagonally opposite from Willow on the couch, and smiled completely fresh at Buffy.

"Sometimes I really envy you," Willow said, shaking her head at her own expense.

"Huh?" Buffy said and then inspected herself. Her eyes widened when she figured it out a moment later, and said, "Oh, the Slayer lack of needing sleep. Yeah, it has its perks."

Willow forced herself to sit up straight, shaking her sleep from her. Hands folded in front of her, arms leaning on her legs, she asked deeply interested, "Does that mean it has not so good stuff too?"

"Yeah, a few," Buffy answered, wanting to evade the question for a moment, but then answered with a grateful smile, "the nights lying fully awake at night staring at the ceiling. Not bad for me during the day as with normal people, but the nights itself are boring and annoying."

"Oh . . . I guess with your mother knowing about you, you might as well go watch tv or something. You don't _/have/_ to lie in bed doing nothing," Willow suggested helpfully.

Buffy shook her head, and said, "Would wake mom."

"Read a book," Willow returned smoothly, rather awake now, interested in her friend's welfare.

"That . . . wouldn't help with the other thing," Buffy said, looking away a bit, embarrassed, or perhaps even ashamed, Willow recognized.

"What other thing?" Willow asked lightly, looking at Buffy intently.

"Sometimes, not always, at night, I have this urge to go out and find something to kill," Buffy confessed, and looked at Willow with apprehension.

"Really?" Willow answered excited, eyes shining. "I always thought you were just like me, but just with more strength, speed, stamina, healing, aggression, and less need for sleep - but you actually get the urge to what . . . hunt? You're a predator?" Buffy looked down. "Hey, that's not a bad thing or anything, Buffy."

"It's not?" Buffy asked a little surprised.

"Of course not . . . well, it's demons that you have the urge to kill right? N-not humans, like me, or anything, right?" Willow asked her a little uncertain.

"Just demons," Buffy quickly reassured.

"Great! I suppose I should have realized; Slayers kill demons, Slayers need to hunt demons. Have you ever . . . well, went out and fulfill your urge?" Willow asked excitedly, looking at Buffy who seemed a little uncomfortable, but quickly relaxing.

"No, why?" Buffy said, frowning.

Willow sighed, almost feeling like rolling her eyes, and explained, "Never thought that by doing a little late night kill, you could go back to bed and easily fall asleep for the rest of the night?"

"Oh, yeah, I suppose," Buffy said, and not forgetting Willow's sigh she answered, "Hey, we already established you're a genius, Willow. Cut us average brains some slack okay?" The coffee maker made a distinctive sound. "Coffee's ready, be right back with a cup," Buffy said and quickly got up to get the coffee.

-----

"_He ran. He ran as hard as he could. The thugs were right on his heels, and . . ." _Buffy trailed off. They had decided to read the books they had brought, and to keep each other awake, and make this a more fun girl friend experience, they would be reading one chapter to each other, and then switch. Now though there was a slight rumbling, which quickly formed into a full fledged snore that interrupted the Slayer's reading. She looked to her right, and saw the sleeping Willow, head lolled light forward. Then she turned half around, trying to find a better position than the sitting one. She soon found it, by snuggling against a lightly surprised and lightly amused Buffy - using her side as a mattress and her shoulder as a pillow.

Buffy hesitated, debating with herself whether she should get from underneath her friend, lay her out along the long side of the couch, or perhaps try to see if she could carry her without waking to a bed. In the end she smiled, and decided against both. She put the book on the table, careful not to wake Willow or let her drop. "Sleep tight, Will," Buffy said with a smile, and placed a light kiss on the top of her friend's head, then sat herself to more squarely watch Oz. The wolf looked up from his position in the cage, looking deep into Buffy's eyes. Buffy stared back, her own fierceness in her eyes. The wolf then lowered his head again, and looked more gently at the two figures, and Buffy felt oddly as if she had made some kind of connection with the wild beast.

-----

It had begun to lighten quite a bit ago. Now though, the moon finally disappeared behind the horizon, while the first raise of the sun peaked above it, and fell through the glass doors leading to the pool. It was still early, Buffy guessed no later then six in the morning. The wolf stirred, then growled, and then the sounds of bones restructuring themselves started coming from him. Buffy smiled. She checked Willow for a moment, still sound asleep, and no longer snoring. Then she turned to regard OzWolf turning back into Oz. As the fur started retreating and skin became visible, Buffy's eyes widened. Quickly she moved her left hand up and put it in front of her eyes. After a few moments she dared to peak to see how far Oz was along, and then quickly closed her fingers again as she noticed he was about finished.

"Ugh, oh," came from Oz, and then he slowly pushed himself off the ground. He shook his head to clear it, and then frowned. He soon remembered, and looked around. He smiled when he found his guards. Willow asleep against Buffy, and Buffy with a hand in front of her eyes so she couldn't see him naked.

"Could you get dressed quickly, Oz?" Buffy asked softly.

"Sure," he all but whispered back, and went to do exactly that. When he was finished he murmured, "Finished."

Buffy removed her hand and regarded the male teenager. She smiled, and fished the cage key from the pocket of her jeans. "Catch," she whispered, and tossed the key in a precise arc. He caught it, and then unlocked his cage.

Oz now took a better look around, seeing the pizza box, and multiple pieces of wrappers strewn about. "Had fun?" he whispered.

Buffy nodded with a smile. "Could you take over Willow watch? I'm beat and I'd like to find a bed and get a little sleep," Buffy whispered softly.

"Sure, hold on, be right back," Oz told her, and then sped softly up the stairs, and went into on one of the rooms there. He returned soon after with a pillow and a blanket. Buffy smiled, and together they very gently lowered Willow down. The redhead murmured a little, not liking that her comfortable position was leaving. A moment later she found the pillow waiting for her, and settled down. Oz then gently moved her legs on the couch while Buffy stretched get the kinks out of her body. Buffy watched as Oz finished putting the blanked over Willow.

Buffy nodded, and whispered, "Three hours should be enough for me to be fresh for the day. Either of you can wake me then, okay?"

Oz nodded, and gestured for her to get going. Not long after Buffy drifted off to sleep in one of the beds upstairs.

-----

Cordelia's lips pressed against Buffy's, her velvet tongue dancing with her own. Then unknown girl's lips and tongue. Jenny's; more girls. She was back again! Then! When her love spell made everyone in Sunnydale except Xander mad with love for her! The horror of it, the violation, the fear! But no . . . those weren't here, no, she was kissing the girls back with all of her passion. What? Gentle sensual tongues against her. Soft bodies and arms pressed against her, caressing, fondling, oh nice. Wait? How can that be? She only felt herself grow aroused and kissing all those girls back again.

Willow . . . Willow's tongue. How did she know it was Willow's tongue? She still had her eyes closed with the enjoyment of it all, and why was she enjoying kissing girls again? Oh right, spell, more so, Willow! She knew! Willow had kissed her twice now, right? Wait? Where were all the other girls. Opening her eyes revealed herself to be in a costume shop. Willow was in front of her, just finishing a quick sensual kiss of tongue against tongue on what the redhead had perceived as a dare. She remembered again, yes. She had almost forgotten, had wanted to forget . . .

Buffy's eyes flew open, and saw a ceiling . . . an unfamiliar ceiling. Buffy frowned, looked around, and then remembered. Cordelia's garden house, Ozsitting, she had gone to bed. It had only been a dream . . . Buffy sighed and made herself comfortable, wondering why in blazes she would have such a weird dream - it made no sense . . . oh, please this couldn't be a Slayer dream! She couldn't handle another Sunnydale-wide mad love-on for her - just girls this time it seemed. She shook her head. Nah, it was too weird, and unprophetic to be a Slayer dream. Yeah, time to go back to sleep.

To Be Continued . . .

Author's notes:

For now, it will just be Half Blessing, Half Curse Season 2. I can't seem to find an appropriate new title, which would have the above as the subtitle. As you noticed, the parts have titles now, because as I wrote the outline for the Nerima parts, some somewhat funny Ranma-like titles popped in my head, and figured it was fun. Don't know if they remain once Xander returns to Sunnydale though; we will see. I think there was lots to laugh about; for all those who haven't seen or read Ranma, a few classic jokes from the series should be utterly fresh and plenty of loves: for those who do know it, it should have brought smiles on beforehand, and the follow up twists should be plenty hilarious and surprising. Anyway, as usual: FEEDBACK! Positive, negative! Preferably critical feedback with more than two words!


	2. Part 2: Clash of the Amazons

----Part 2: Clash of the Amazons----

With a yawn Lexa woke, and slowly sat up. She looked around, and noticed Ranma and Genma were already up. She shrugged and yawning walked onto the hallway, then turned right toward the shower. She turned into it and after preparing some towels and wash cloths, slid her panties down her legs, bending at the waste. Then she stepped into the shower, yawned again, and looked at the faucet. She nodded, and turned the cold water full blast. "YOW! Ooh, yes!" she exclaimed, forcing herself not to go with the impulse of jumping out of the water. "Oh, now I'm awake," she told with a smile, taking a deep breath and running her hands from her shoulders down her body, fondling her naked, wet breasts along the way, down across her taut stomach and finally her hips. "Brr," she said, and then turned the warm water on as well, dosing it to get a nice warm flow, making her turn into Xander Harris.

"Aah," he said, and grabbed the shampoo from a small rack. As he did so he turned his head right, and notice a short-haired, brunette disappearing from the door. He shrugged, wondering if she got a lovely sight, or a familiar one, depending on the gender, before going back out.

A short while later he was dressed and happily going toward the breakfast table. He found everyone but Ranma and Genma kneeling at it. The Saotomes were sparring in the garden. As he looked at it, he noticed the destroyed tree, and the hole in the wall, through which was the destruction of Nerima. His eyes bugged out - it looked much worse in the daylight now. "Yowzers, did I and Happosai do all that?" Xander asked embarrassed scratching his head.

"Yes," Soun said gruffly.

"Whoops, sorry, uh, didn't notice in the heat of the moment, and . . . well, Happosai started throwing bombs, I was defending myself," Xander said somewhat embarrassed, but with a righteous indignation.

"Well, we - and you - got lucky," Nabiki said calmly, "It seems one of our neighbors is a lawyer and he threatened the insurance companies to sue them for everything they got, if they didn't pay up. Instead, not only did they pay up, they went ahead and pooled their resources to get one good construction company to rebuild, and not waste money on many different."

Xander looked out the window, and indeed there were people hard at work repairing the mess. "Very, very lucky," Soun Tendo said with narrowed eyes, but soon forgot about it, going back to his newspaper and food.

"Well then, good morning all," Xander greeted sheepishly. He then gave a polite bow, and sat down at the remaining empty plate - on the floor, at the low Japanese table.

-----

"So this is Nerima," Xander said, his hands at the back of his head, looking around. The houses were all lovely, most surrounded by gardens, in turn surrounded by wooden fences.

"Yep, it's nice to see it intact, isn't it?" Ranma remarked wryly, grinning.

"Definitely," Xander said, and then looked at Ranma. "That geezer had it coming, I hope he learned to keep his bombs to himself."

Ranma smiled at Xander, and then sped up. "Come on, I'll show you my school," Ranma said. Xander sped up to keep up, and they soon arrived at the now empty school due to vacation. "Furinkan High School," Ranma presented, spreading his arms wide. They were standing at the gate in the walls surrounding the school grounds. The gate was closed because of vacation, and through it a lane could be seen leading to the large white building. The middle piece was higher and a little forward. On either side a little lower were rectangular pieces of the building, filled with windows behind which were empty class rooms. A few trees lined the path, and were around the school grounds, who stretched out all but empty at the front.

"Let's go, I'll show you the rest," Ranma said and smoothly jumped over the gate. Xander followed, and looked around as they walked forward.

"Nice," Xander commented with a grin. Ranma nodded. "So this is usually the place for the big battles for Akane's heart, eh? I expected a bit more than nice after you described it."

Ranma scowled, and said, "Don't remind me. The half-wits finally quit trying after I pounded them all into the ground a few times; except that one guy . . ."

"Which guy?" Xander asked him as they reached the building.

"Not important, I think of him I just get angry," Ranma said, and jumped high up the two story building. Xander followed and they walked across the roof, some twenty meters, and stopped at the edge.

"Whoa," Xander said, looking out over the stretched grounds. A pool, football fields, a tennis court, and a separate building that held the gym and the dressing rooms. The place was huge. "Now _/this/_ is more like it. I wish mine could come this close," Xander said in awe. The only thing Sunnydale High has, is a small football field, a small gym and a tiny indoor pool. Nowhere close to the size and breath of Furinkan.

"Next, food!" Ranma exclaimed with a grin, and yanked Xander along.

-----

"I'm guessing we're no longer in the residential area," Xander said as he looked down the busy street with shops, more shops, lots of billboards, more shops, even more people, and several characteristic Japanese vending machines.

"Nope, come on," Ranma said, and they walked into the street. "Here it is," Ranma said, and pointed at the restaurant to his right, then turned to face it. 'Okonomiyaki Ucchan's' stood with big letters on the cloth overhang.

"Oh, wait . . . Ukyo right?" Xander asked Ranma.

"And who speaks my name so early in the morning?" A rather beautiful brunette with a wavy ponytail stepped outside from the shop. She was dressed in a blue wrap around, black tight pants, and a huge spatula was strapped to her back. "Hello, Ranchan," she greeted with dreamy eyes at Ranma.

"Hi, Ucchan, this is my friend Harris Xander, I think I mentioned him, once or twice. I thought he should taste your cooking," Ranma said with a grin, gesturing to Xander.

"Ah, Xander-chan, very nice to meet you, always good to have another customer," the girl happily replied, giving Xander a slight bow, which her returned. "Come in," Ukyo said and went inside. Xander and Ranma followed, Xander looked at him questioningly.

Inside Xander watched with fascination as Ukyo rapidly prepared two okonomiyaki, which from what he could see, was somewhat similar to a pizza. Ukyo put the two okonomiyaki in front of the guys, and she leaned on the counter. "Take a good taste, Xander-chan, you'll never taste so good okonomiyaki again, right, Ranchan?" Ukyo said with a smile.

"Absolutely," Ranma answered, and the two young men dug in.

After several chews, Xander looked up at Ukyo and mumbled, "Ohf, fewy goo!" Ukyo nodded with a smile as Ranma tore through his okonomiyaki. Xander noticed Ukyo's position, hands underneath her chest and leaning on it, making her breasts bulge and push her wrap around outward, showing some cleavage she probably wasn't even aware of. Xander quickly looked down and ate onward to catch up. "Mmh," Xander said, when he was finished with it, and Ranma gave a similar comment.

"How much do I owe you, Ucchan?" Ranma asked politiely.

"Silly, Ranchan," Ukyo admonished with a smile, "you know you don't have to pay me. Your cute fiancee will take care of you."

"Thanks, Ucchan," Ranma said with a smile, and then got up off his stool.

"Yes, thank you very much, Ukyo, it was very nice to meet you as well," Xander said with a huge smile, still rubbing his satisfied tummy.

"Ranchan's friends, are my friends," Ukyo said and gave a nod, "Although you do have to pay if Ranma isn't here with you. If I star feeding all his friends for free, I'd be bankrupt in no time."

Xander laughed, and said, "Wouldn't want that. Bye." Ukyo greeted and a little later he and Ranma were outside. "Damn, she knows how to cook those things," Xander said with a smile.

"Yep, wanna see the park? We could do some sparring there," Ranma asked, and set off, Xander falling in step with a smile on his face.

Thus they found themselves in the park not long after. Steadily heading toward the pond with a fountain in the middle they walked along the path, trees and grass on either side. "If I were you, 'Ranchan', I'd know who to choose," Xander said with a smirk. His Japanese friend looked darkly at him. "Come on, she's got breasts, legs, beautiful face, she knows how to cook, loves you, loves to cook _/for/_ you, that cooking is delicious, doesn't beat you up or blame you for every last little bit gone wrong, she doesn't try seven schemes a week to get you to marry her, she's intelligent, what more could you want?"

"Being in love with _/her/_ perhaps?" Ranma returned a little annoyed; he had enough people trying to couple him with one girl or other now his friend was trying it too.

"For that, you date her and see if you do, or will do," Xander said with a shrug, "I'm dating all the girls that want me to figure it out. With Buffy out of the picture, I'm definitely leaning toward Willow, she's kinda like Ukyo, childhood friend."

"Yeah, well-"

"YOU!"

Ranma and Xander turned their heads right toward the exclaim, the voice familiar to Ranma who was already getting irritated, and somewhat vaguely familiar to Xander. When the person making the exclaim came into their view, Xander exclaimed, "YOU!"

"You know him?" Ranma asked surprised.

"Exchange student for a bit there," Xander said with a grimace, as the guy in question came closer.

"I _/knew/_ it wasn't right! You two are in cahoots!" the guy said, dressed in a traditional Japanese kendo outfit, and pointing a wooden practice sword at Xander. "You kept my from my immortal love, the golden angel Buffy Summers just to spite me! For that, _/I/_, Kuno Tatewaki, Blue Thunder of Furinkan High, shall avenge such slight!" He immediately attacked Xander, the wooden sword bursting forth with such incredible speed, the air pressure alone could crumble a statue. Unfortunately for Tatewaki, Xander was not a statue. He avoided the first few strikes, and then locked the sword in his left armpit, immediately slamming his right open palm forward on Tatewaki's chest. The upperclassman was launched backward with a painful groan, till he slammed into a tree.

Growling Xander started breaking the sword in pieces, and grunted, "You perverted bastard, I should beat you into the hospital." He then tossed the pieces at the dazed Tatewaki.

"I need to remember that one," Ranma said to Xander with an approving grin.

Xander smirked back, and they started on their way, when a new voice rang out, "Ranma! You will pay!"

"Oh, no, not him again," Ranma said, slamming his forehead into his hand, while Xander looked puzzled. A guy in glasses, long hair, and in a long white robes with blue and red robe came running around the corner.

"To play with Shampoo's heart so cruelly!" the guy screamed running straight at Ranma.

"Mousse! Don't! That's not what I meant!" a sweet girl-voice sounded a bit behind, the blue-haired, buxom girl it belonged to coming around the corner as well, dressed in red loose pants and a frilly, multi-colored spotted top, ribbons in her hair. A very, very old woman just as small as Happosai in a green dress followed behind her, easily catching up by bouncing along on a wooden walking stick.

With a yell Mousse extended his arms and from his over-sized, hanging sleeves myriads of projectiles shot; swords, knives, a few axes, and more than a few ropes and chains on hooks. Xander's jaw dropped with the surprise, Ranma already knew what to expect. He smoothly avoided a few of the projectiles, then grabbed some of the chains, and twisting around somewhat in a shoulder throw yanked hard. "Whaaa!" Mousse exclaimed in surprise as he was pulled off his feet, was swung through the air in a half-circle, to land with a painful thud on the pavement behind Xander and Ranma. "Ogh," he groaned out, and twitched a bit, seeing stars.

"And _/I/_ gotta remember that one," Xander said still surprised, looking at the defeated guy, as Ranma slapped his hands up and down together a few times at a job well done. Xander turned back toward the arriving women, and said with a pointing gesture and disdain, "The Amazons, I presume."

"Yep, Shampoo, and the old crone is Cologne, her great grand mother," Ranma said, and nodded. The women came to a halt, and Cologne carefully examined the muscular newcomer, considering the possibilities.

"And who would this be?" Cologne asked casually.

"Harris Xander, a friend from America," Ranma introduced annoyed, as Shampoo carefully checked him over with her eyes to see if he wasn't hurt, which of course he wasn't.

"So, exactly what scheme was it that contained the halfwit attacking Ranma, huh?" Xander asked the two Amazons annoyed. They looked at him questioningly, and glaring he accused, "I know you Amazons, nothing but scheming."

"XANDER, WATCH OUT!"

Xander turned around, and was just in time to see a revived Mousse finish getting up and preparing to attack him, and an equally arrived Tatewaki already attacking him with a spare sword. "How dare you slant my beloved!" Mousse exclaimed.

"How dare you keep me from my angel!" Tatewaki exclaimed at the same time.

Reflexively Xander gave Tatewaki an uppercut and sent him flying away with a yell. While that solved one problem, it would mean he was too late to do anything about Mousse. Luckily for Xander and possibly Ranma, there was a brunette blur. With a thud from an uppercut, Mousse was launched into the air. "Oof! AAAH!" he yelled, before coming down again, landing squarely in the water. A moment later there was a white duck gaggling angrily, still wearing his round glasses.

"Lotion! What the hell are you doing here?" Xander asked in shock, as he recognized the previous brunette blur. The girl was as buxom as the blue-haired one, and her brunette hair was lusciously below her shoulders, tails hanging by the side. Her outfit was form-hugging blue dress, which showed off her assets as well as Shampoo's did. Her mother, the equally buxom Amazon in her thirties arrived behind her.

"I go where my future husband goes, I'm on vacation too," Lotion said with a smile, "and save you too." She gestured to the duck in the pond.

Shampoo had recognized the new arrival, and growled low, "Xiong."

Xander and Ranma turned to Shampoo with surprise, and in doing so cleared the spot in between the two young Amazon girls, who were now looking at each other unobstructed. Deo smiled at the event, and locked gazes with Cologne, who gazed back with a hard look in her eyes.

"Pu," Lotion said coldly, staring in the other's eyes.

Ranma and Xander looked from one to the other in confusion, and Ranma said, "Uh, what-"

That's how far he came as both Amazons came into action. Shampoo pulled out two colorful bonbories, small handles with heavy balls on the top, from her person, while Lotion pulled forth her nunchakus. Shampoo growled, "You here take future husband Ranma away?"

Lotion at the same time growled, "You keep away from future husband Xander!" Both only noticed 'future husband', completely missing that it were two different persons, and so they charged.

With a roar of fury Shampoo brought her left bonborie down, which Shampoo blocked with her right closed nunchaku against Shampoo's hand. The right bonborie came straight down with a screech, and Lotion smoothly jumped back. The bonborie slammed into the stone path, and then through it, making pieces of it spring away, and leaving a half-meter crater. "Lotion pay!" Shampoo roared, and burst forward.

Xander, Ranma, and the two older Amazons watched the fight, the first two rather surprised, and Xander said, "At least they're not attacking us."

Enraged Shampoo once again attacked Lotion, and landed a blow on her abdomen. Lotion was launched back, moaning with the pain, but made a backward somersault and easily landed on her two feet. With a battle shriek of her own, she charged forward, nunchakus twisting rapidly. Avoiding another blow from the heavy and dangers balls on a stick, she slammed her weapons in Shampoo's right side, making her yell in pain, and then attack more furiously. The right bonborie came down and Lotion opened her left nunchaku, and caught the handle of the bonborie with the chain. Closing the two sticks on a chain, Lotion quickly went into a shoulder throw. Shampoo wasn't to be outdone though, and twisted in the air to land on her feet. Both Amazons kept their hands firmly on their weapons, the result of which was that both were sent flying.

Taking the opportunity of the still imbalanced Shampoo, Lotion's left empty hand balled into a fist and struck forward, hitting her in the left shoulder. Shampoo had partially twisted away to minimize the hit, and twisted further with it. She swung her remaining weapon at Lotion with a snarl, who caught it, and twisted Shampoo and herself around, for Shampoo to be back to the side of the pond. With a grunt Shampoo made a vicious knee to Lotion's stomach, making her shudder forward and grunt in pain. She grimaced, feeling Shampoo trying to remove her remaining weapon. She tightened her grip on her weapon, yanked, and slammed her left hand against Shampoo's weapon. The ball on a stick was sent flying, but the stick flipped up and got caught in the nunchaku, the result being that Lotion lost her own weapon as well.

Shampoo kicked up rapidly, and caught Lotion in the chin making her stagger back. With a snarl Shampoo moved forward to finish it, as Lotion straightened and immediately used her opportunity. She almost jumped forward, and shouted, "Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire!" Landing almost a hundred hits in a single second was far too fast for Shampoo to react to, not to mention handle. With a scream of pain she staggered back, only for Lotion to added an uppercut to insult.

"Argh!" Shampoo yelled as she was launched through the air, and splashed into the pond, making duck-Mousse flap his wings and gaggle in surprise.

Lotion's jaw dropped, she was checking her hand with wide eyes. Ranma raised his eyebrows with slight surprise and admiration. Xander just folded his arms across his chest and nodded in satisfaction. Cologne looked with wide eyes of surprise and shock, muttering almost unintelligible, "Impossible." Deo smirked with more than a little satisfaction, and nodded, arms folded across her chest and took several steps forward to her daughter.

Lotion lowered her arm, and watched with surprise as a wet white cat wearing earrings crawled onto the pond-rim. Ranma made a shudder as he saw the cat, which tried to hiss, but then collapsed in defeat, letting out a tortured painful wail before trying to lie still. Ranma's shudder disappeared. "I defeated Shampoo," Lotion said still surprised. "I really did, I haven't defeated her in eight years!" She then turned her head to look at Xander, who shrugged at her and smiled. She had realized it; it was her rather intense training with Xander, the Slayer, and him specifically training her to master the Chestnuts that's what made her stronger than her rival.

"You know the Chestnuts," Cologne said quite impressed at the rival of her great grand daughter.

"Indeed she mastered it, Cologne," Deo said with a large satisfied smirk, "about three years before the previous youngest of our tribe did. Say, wasn't that you?" Cologne narrowed her eyes at Deo, whose smirk just widened. "Why, Shampoo was my daughter's superior for all this time, but she never managed to defeat Lotion as soundly as she was beaten today. What's the matter? Did you stop her training while trying to court her future husband? Lotion didn't, she could do both."

Cologne glared at Deo, and said, "Watch your mouth, Deo, you're still a century too young to beat me."

"Oh, great," Xader muttered annoyed, as Cologne glared at the smirking Deo, who managed to glare back at Cologne at the same time. "Now we're in an Amazon pissing contest. Let's get out of here, Ranma, before the estrogen kills us."

"My thoughts exactly, Xander, let's move," Ranma said, and the two young man quickly ran off, leaving the Amazons to fend for themselves, the adults of which turned to look at the retreating forms with raised eyebrows.

-----

**Sunnydale**

Buffy and Willow were lying on Willow's bed. The bed was against the back wall, which was just in between a double and single bed. Her desk was to the right against the wall, a window above it. A white closet to the left of the bed. The walls were white, and the floor a dark grey almost blue. They were reading a girl-magazine, or rather Willow was, pointing things out. Buffy was thinking, trying to figure things out. Why would she be dreaming about kissing girls? Why point out Willow twice? And why not when Xander turned into Lexa while they were kissing; which was admittedly just as good a kiss as a girl as a boy? And why the hell did she think that? Why did she even brought it up in her musings now? It just wasn't fair, and it just wasn't right.

Perhaps she should ask Willow for advice? Her eyes turned to the redhead, who's face was bright and happy, reading out loud whatever was in the magazine. Something about Tom Cruise which she didn't pay attention to. Willow though . . . the two kisses she shared with her had been pretty good, and the way the light fell on her nose, and the hair hung, alluring and loose around her face. Her eyes were a very nice shade of green with interesting golden flecks in them, especially the way she was looking up at her now. Her moving lips were almost inviting, albeit narrow, she knew how lovely they felt against her own . . . and hadn't her body felt not bad against her as she had slept in her arms Ozsitting?

"**-Buffy!-"** Willow said with extra emphasis.

"Huh?" Buffy said, shocked out of her reverie.

"I asked about Tom Cruise's hot butt," Willow said with a huge smile, which shone almost brightly at Buffy. "But I suppose you were thinking about a hotter butt, huh?" She laughed lightly, more smiling than really laughing. Buffy's eyes flicked right for an involuntary moment, and she nodded. "Still thinking about Xander, I see," Willow said with a grin.

"Yeah," Buffy said quickly, taking the way out. What the hell had she just been doing?

"Don't worry, Buffy," Willow said reassuringly, giving Buffy a cute frown. "Xander'll come around, he won't go sguick over you forever. The only thing you have to worry about is me or Lotion conquering his heart before that."

"Hey!" Buffy exclaimed, and Willow gave a far too innocent smile. "Perhaps I should find out where you're ticklish just like Xander knows where you're ticklish."

"You wouldn't there," was Willow's automatic response, closing her eyes as she shook her head for a moment. As she opened them again she saw Buffy's look. "Buffy," she said, a hint of warning in them. Buffy grinned and wiggled her eyebrows once. "Buffy! No! B-" But Willow was no match for Buffy's speed, and her hands had already found her waist, tickling.

"Tickle, tickle!" Buffy teased, as Willow lay laughing, trying to pry the Slayer's hand away.

"S-s-st-stop!" Willow exclaimed through laughter, as Buffy tested the rest of Willow's body. "Bu-bu-buuufffyyyy!"

More laughter followed, while Buffy continued, "Tickle, tickle!" Soon Buffy had found all of Willow's ticklish spots, and finally retreated. Willow came to a rest, but laughed a little more, coming down. Buffy grinned, and shook her head at herself. The whole thing was nonsense. She was just looking over Willow because of the stupid dream. This was no Slayer dream, so it meant nothing. Willow was a great friend, and that was that. Right? Right.

-----

Buffy was slowly walking home. Willow's mother had uncharacteristically drawn Willow along in a shopping trip to get her daughter new clothes. This so the woman didn't have to do it during the more busy time not in the summer no doubt. Buffy hoped Willow was strong enough to not to just let her mother force her into buying more drab clothes, but actually good clothes so she didn't have to waste her own money on new clothes.

Buffy sighed as she slowly walked onward. Damned as she was, of course her reassuring herself hadn't worked. She found her gaze taking secret peeks at Willow now and then; the girl's cleavage, her legs quite long and shapely and agile and strong with the training she was going through, the short skirt that lead to just below her ass leaving them quite visible. A little dread was pulling on Buffy's stomach, which was making flip flops, and they were most definitely not butterflies. This was not a reassurance, Buffy's stomach really was making flip flops. A fear and concern was going through her, mauling in her head. "I can't be a lesbian," Buffy muttered softly, as she steadily stepped onward. And why was she so afraid of that possibility? It wasn't like her friends would mind, or that Harmony and the other popular girls weren't already making fun of her at every opportunity. She couldn't land even more in the dumps . . . then again, judging from the way she and Willow could sweep up the guys in the bronze, perhaps her stature was changed, at least according to the guys of Sunnydale.

Buffy shook her head to clear it. "It can't be, I'm not. If I were a lesbian I can't be in love with Xander, and I most certainly wouldn't be attracted to Angel and have sex with a male corpse." Buffy shivered, hating herself for bringing that up, and remembering the icky feeling of the cold clammy demon-animated corpse against her skin.

Buffy froze then, looking down her street. She was nearly home, but that wasn't why she had frozen. Willow was bisexual. Xander / Lexa was bisexual. Interested in both genders. But that wasn't what had made her freeze either. No, that was Willow's words, months ago. They were tickling at the edge of her memory. Come on, what had she said again? Something about a large majority of people actually being bisexual? Oh yeah! Now she remembered! Everyone had to be that to an extent bisexual to understand what the other gender thought was attractive in you. Expectations usually making someone suppress one side of their sexuality, and only a shocking, or surprising event, something or someone extra-ordinary shaking it loose. That was it right? Right. Extra-ordinary, like two friends being bisexual and making you mindful of the possibility, like kissing your boyfriend and him turning magically into a girl during the kiss and thus kissing your somehow girlfriend. Or like messing with magic and have the entire town population, including all the girls, be in love with you and all but rape you. Like your best friend kissing you just to prove she'd share a hot guy with you before letting a hated rival get him . . .

It couldn't be! It just couldn't be! Buffy Summers just couldn't be bisexual, could she? She moaned defeatedly, and looked down at her shoes, uncertain, afraid, not knowing what it would mean if she was. What would her mother think? Oh, my god, her mother! Or her father! Buffy shivered; doomsday scenarios of both of them tossing her out of their houses. She shook her head; that was ridiculous! Her mother loved her, didn't she? Right, that's probably what all the disowned gays and lesbians thought before they came out of the closet.

She forced herself to walk onward. She went around the back, and found her mother in the kitchen, eating her lunch. "You're home early," Joyce said with a smile at Buffy.

"Yeah, Willow's mom decided to take her clothes' shopping, and there was no argument," Buffy said a little uncertain looking at her mother chewing a sandwich.

"You need lunch then, Buffy?" Joyce asked with a smile, halting her sandwich for a moment. Buffy nodded with a smile. "Bread . . . or pancakes?" Joyce asked with a knowing smile.

Buffy's face broke in a wide smile and she said enthusiastically, "Pancakes!"

Joyce smiled while nodding, "Pancakes it is then." She got up, taking her sandwich along, and started pulling out the needed ingredients while finishing her sandwich.

Buffy sat down at the counter, and watched her mother with a wide smile. "Your the best mom ever," Buffy said still smiling as her mother was mixing the batter.

"And don't you forget that when I'm old and decrepit and _/I/_ need things," Joyce said with a smirk she directed at Buffy over her shoulder.

Buffy smiled, and started waiting patiently for her pancakes. After a moment, her earlier worries returned. She watched her mother finish the batter, put butter in the already heated frying pan, and put the first pancake in. Buffy was nervous, as she came back to what her parents would think, if indeed . . . she didn't want that! If it were true, perhaps she could just go back to suppressing it, she was doing it before, and plenty of people never knew they were doing it, so why couldn't she if she wanted to?

"Here ya go, Buffy," Joyce announced as she placed the plate with Buffy's first pancake in front of her, fork and knife placed next to it with her other hand. Buffy smiled her thanks, and Joyce went back to making the next pancake. Buffy got up, and got the treacle syrup, jam and sugar from the cupboard. Back at her seat she covered her first pancake with treacle. She started eating it, and half-way through, she paused, looking at her mother placing the second pancake on a plate, placing the batter for the third in the pan, and gently humming. Some treacle leaked from the stationary, rolled up pancake. Buffy continued eating her pancake, looking at her mother, and slowly built up her courage.

After her mother placed the plate with the pancakes next to Buffy's plate once Buffy finished her first, Buffy had managed to find her courage. "Mom?"

"Yeah, honey?" Joyce asked happily.

"What would you do, if I turned out to be . . . I don't know; bisexual or a lesbian?" Buffy managed get past her vocal cords, and held her breath for the answer. Her mother turned around to look at her steadily. "Theoretically of course," Buffy hastily added.

Joyce returned to the pancake, but looking over her shoulder asked, "What brought this on?"

"Uh, well . . . you see . . ." Buffy stammered, her heart racing a mile a minute trying to think of something. Some relief entered her as she got a reason, and asked, "Y-you know Willow is bisexual, right?"

"Of course," Joyce answered, taking a peek at the pancake.

-Casual,- Buffy thought, and got her next pancake. As she prepared it with scoops of sugar, she said, "Well, she's thinking of, you know, telling her parents. The 'coming out of the closet' thing. She's really worried about their reaction, and I thought that perhaps a parent's view might make her decide." Buffy got her knife to spread out the sugar, head down, she peeked upward to gauge her mother's reaction.

Joyce returned to the pancake and with a smile replied, "Buffy, if her parents truly love her, that it doesn't matter. They'll love her anyway, and support her all the way." The pancake was finished, and she came over with the pan, sliding the pancake on top of the remaining one on the stack plate. Joyce bent down a bit more, pulling the hot pan away from, Buffy. She looked deep into her daughter's eyes, and said, "Just like me. I don't care if your bisexual, a lesbian, or as straight as they come, your my baby, Buffy, and I will always love and support you." Then she stroked Buffy's hair, and gave her a motherly kiss on the top of her forehead. Buffy shrank a little embarrassed at the overly gushy statement, but couldn't help but feel with warm happiness. Joyce returned to stove, and Buffy rolled up her second pancake. "Your father too, you know. We might have gotten divorced, and he's living far away, so he can't be here often, but he loves you just as much as I do, and he'll always be there for you. Okay?" Joyce looked over her shoulder, and saw her daughter happily nod. She then added, "He was all worried when he couldn't cheer you up last summer, he talked to me about it when he dropped you off." Buffy smiled, not really knowing what else to do, and doubting if she could do anything else if she did know.

-----

**Nerima, Tendo Residence**

The high punch was blocked, then there was a leg sweep that made the ninja fall on his back. The bare-chested guy jumped up high, somersaulted and made an aerial kick just as the ninja got up. With a hump the ninja was sent flying back. With a yell of effort the bare-chested guy fired a fire bolt at the ninja. The ninja was fast though, and jumped over it. Then he ducked as the guy came shooting over feet first. Instantly the ninja turned around, and made an uppercut, catching the guy right in the face as he was still flying over.

"Damn!"

"Finish him."

The ninja walked over to the dazed bare-chested guy, produced a knife hidden in his right hand attached to a rope, sliced open the bare-chested guy's throat, then went lower and completely cut off the guy's torso at the waist, making it fly through the air and land, while a fountain of blood spurt forth.

"YES! Yes!"

"Scorpion wins. Fatality."

Ranma looked defeated at the computer monitor, as Xander whooped his triumph. The keyboard of the PC had managed to survive the abuse of the young, super strong, martial artists, but only barely. "Ranma, out here you may kick my ass, but virtual reality I rule supreme!" Xander taunted his friend.

"Oh my, that is rather bloody, isn't it?" Kasumi asked politely. Xander turned around. The kitchen was where there had been place for the new family PC, mostly purchased at the behest of Ranma to communicate via e-mail with Xander, but it had quickly grown to be more than that. The brunette cook of the family as thus, was often present when the computer was used, and so too today.

"The bloodier the better," Xander grinned up at her, and she looked oddly for a moment. Then she quickly turned around to go back to cooking. Xander turned back to Ranma as the game prepared for the next match by showing select screen, "Ready for some more humiliation, Ranma?"

"Yep," Ranma said, standing up with finality. He let his right fist slam into his left palm, and added, "Yours. Time for some training, Xan."

Xander grinned while he nodded and went to end the game. "Where is he?" a lovely female voice called out loud from what Xander and Ranma guessed was the front door.

"Hey!" an angry voice sounded afterward, and curiously Xander and Ranma walked to the door leading to the living room, as Kasumi went on with her cooking, although obviously keeping an ear out for the events. The voice didn't quit with one word, "You can't just barge in here, and-"

"No time, Akane!" the voice interrupted, and Xander and Ranma reached the door. She looked across the room, where Tendo and Saotome were characteristically playing Chinese chess at the table, the door half slid open to the garden. Onward in the corridor which lead to the front door were Akane and Shampoo. "Need Ranma, you tell, or I kill!"

"Oh, boy," Ranma muttered, shaking his head. This was going to be explosive. Tendo and Saotome looked up as well, Tendo arching his body backward.

Shampoo turned her head and spotted Ranma. "RANMA!" Shampoo exclaimed, ignoring the rapidly losing it Akane. The Amazon charged forward, not caring one bit that she trashed the game, making the grown men exclaim in irritation. Akane was close behind the Amazon. Shampoo grabbed Ranma, pulled him along toward the actual dojo, saying, "Ranma come, Ranma train."

Akane had completely missed the exclaims, only eyes for Shampoo pulling Ranma along and almost barreling over the surprised house guest. She caught up, grabbed Shampoo by her arm, and shouted, "If you think you can marry Ranma by threatening to kill me and kidnap him, you're very much mistaken, you Amazon bimbo!"

"This not about marriage, this matter of honor!" Shampoo exclaimed angrily, and yanked to get free, yanking Ranma along. The two guys looking as surprised and dumbfounded as Kasumi who looked at the event hoping she didn't have things to clean again. Ranma was does not in the frame of mind to free himself from Lotion's grip.

"I DON'T CARE WHAT'S IT ABOUT! YOU DON'T BARGE IN AND KIDNAP PEOPLE!" Akane screamed, redirecting her arm to Ranma and started yanking on a free arm to keep Shampoo here.

"RANMA TRAIN!" Shampoo bellowed at Akane angrily, yanking Ranma hard, making him grunt. "Xander train Lotion! Ranma train Shampoo! I kick upstart's ass!"

"Listen, you disgraceful-"

Ranma started using some of strength, and interrupted Akane by saying, "Don't often agree with Akane shampoo, but . . ."

Shampoo had enough and reached out to a kettle on the table rapidly. She tossed some of the water in Ranma's face, and girl-Ranma sputtered the water from her face. "See!" Shampoo demanded, pointing at girl-Ranma, Ranma's building momentum removed by the transformation. "You no worry! This not about marriage! This about training!" And with that she yanked girl-Ranma free from Akane's iron grip, causing quite some discomfort and a yelp coming from Ranma. Then another yelp as she banged against the table stumbling along, Shampoo going too fast for her to get her footing and balance.

"Agh, Xander, I'll train her, you go explore Tokyo and have fun, okay?" girl-Ranma said annoyed, as she was dragged along, to the door left toward the dojo. "Oof!" girl-Ranma exclaimed as she slammed with one leg against the door post, just before disappearing from sight. "I said I'd train you already, damn it! You don't have- urgh!"

"Shampoo beat Lotion, teach lesson!" Shampoo exclaimed without regard for girl-Ranma banging against things.

"Oh, my," Kasumi said, as Xander still stared at the doorway where Lotion disappeared, realizing his girls were relatively sane in comparison.

"OOOOH!" Akane exclaimed, steamed, arms and fists straight along her body. "That, that . . . RANMA-BAKA!"

"Uh, how is getting dragged off Ranma's fault?" Xander asked the girl, who glared dangerously at him.

"Simple, he could stop her, or decide to _/not/_ train her," she hissed and then stomped off.

Xander raised his eyebrows, and thought, -Waaaaayyyy saner.- He then turned and headed for the front entrance to leave.

As he reached the front door, Nabiki came down the stars, holding two big ring binders. Xander could see thick stacks of plastic through the side. She blinked at Xander, and then said, "I'm going out. Goodbye, Xander-san."

"Goodbye," Xander greeted back, and thus Nabiki left through the front door. Xander followed her out. Outside the gate Nabiki went right, while Xander went left.

It was indeed time for Xander to explore the greater Tokyo area - to be a tourist, he _/was/_ on vacation after all . . . "Nihau, Xander." Xander sighed as he saw Lotion - looking quite pleased with herself - sitting on a wooden fence waiting for him. The Amazon got off the fence and joined Xander.

"I was going to Tokyo, you know, be a tourist," Xander said a little annoyed.

"I'm a tourist too, I'll go with you," Lotion offered with a dazzling smile that stirred Xander's heart. He immediately clamped shut on it.

"No offense, Lotion, you know I like you, love you in different ways, but I was kind of hoping to spend this vacation _/away/_ from my complicated love life . . ." Xander said a little tersely, and paused for a bit as he thought over what he said, ". . . or should I say the possibility of one - you know: clear my head, recharge the batteries, before coming back and make a decision. I should really try something steady with one of you and see where it leads, instead of just dating around."

"You _/are/_ away from your complicated love life. Here, it's just me, you and me, visiting Tokyo, enjoy the sights, and that's it, no strings attached," Lotion told him with a smile, thinking, -of course I'm hoping for strings; lots of strings, all attached.-

"Oh, fine," Xander said a little defeated and the Lotion smiled. The two walked onward, and Xander frowned. What had been that little thing nagging at his head these past few minutes. It was something unpleasant, something . . . something . . . ah, probably nothing.

And so Xander with aspirations of tourism, and Lotion with romantic ones set out. They chatted some, and got in a steady pace, soon reaching the bus stop. The next bus to down town, center-stage Tokyo was due in ten minutes, and so they waited.

"Nice place, huh?" Lotion asked Xander with a smile after a good while.

Xander nodded, and asked with a smile, "Japan, Tokyo, or Nerima?"

"Nerima, it's rather lovely," Lotion said.

"Yeah, it is, in a weird sort of way," Xander agreed with a nod.

"Weird?" Lotion prompted.

"Yeah, for example . . ." Xander trailed of. That had been it, Lotion prompting about the 'weird' triggered it. '_Xander-san.'_ Xander-san? Xander's frown turned more pensive, that was a bit too respective for Nabiki, wasn't it? Ringbinders with stacks of plastic . . . paper inside of them. Computer and printer. At door when showering. Ranma's description; selling pictures of girl-Ranma. Xander's eyes widened, his right hand raised into a fist and he half hissed, half shouted, "**-That bitch!-"**

"Xander?" Lotion asked, even as Xander twisted 180 degrees and ran with great speed back where he came from. Nabiki had a good head start, and she knew where she was going, unlike him.

-----

Nabiki smiled inwardly. She held the ringbinders to her chest, and walked into the Nerima center. Lexa wasn't the well-known pig-tailed girl slash Ranma, or Akane that everyone or certain specific individuals would love to see naked, but Xander's girl-persona was hot as hell, every bit as hot as Ranma and possibly even hotter. She was Playboy or Penthouse material, so finding some eager clientele shouldn't be much of a problem.

She looked around the busy shop street, and soon spotted several of her usual buyers; and luckily none who had specific wishes. She smiled lightly, and walked up to one, gave him a meaningful look, and a gesture and he nodded. A few more guys, a man, and one a girl followed, and then she entered an alley. A little while later the group had one by one sneaked into the alley. "I've got a treat for you, one you've never seen, but trust me, she's everything you like, and more. Here's one sample," Nabiki said with a superior grin of a slick salesman, or woman as the case may be. She pulled the prepared sample from the first ringbinder, and gave it to group. "Want to see more, pay up," Nabiki said with a smirk, as the group of horndogs drooled at the picture of Lexa in a shower, naked.

Barely half a minute after that, there were already calls of buying the picture and seeing the rest, promising purchases. And so, with a predatory smile, Nabiki started to open the first ringbinder . . .

"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!" Nabiki turned around and saw Xander speeding down the alleyway from the other side, right at her. "You're _/not/_ going to sell a single one of those pictures, oh, no you don't!" Xander called out loudly as he closed the gap between him and her very fast.

Dang. How the hell had he figured it out? Had she let something slip? Or was it possible that one of the cursed martial dumbos wasn't a dumbo? "Oh, really, and why not?" Nabiki asked him sweetly; don't worry, always a way to make more money.

Xander's left eye twitched once. Something Nabiki found amusing, it wouldn't have been so amusing if she knew Xander had come this close to beating the crap out of her. She may have been female, but someone who secretly takes naked pictures and then sells them is a bitch, not a woman. Which meant to Xander that the whole 'thou shalt not hit women' was out the door. The problem was, that taking the pictures away from her by force, would probably have the horndogs call the cops, not to mention some of the pictures or entire ringbinders might go flying and the "clients" could make off with them. He had really only one choice, and Nabiki _/knew/_ it. "How much for the lot?" Xander forced with some difficulty past his lips.

"Hmm . . . how about 400 dollars?" Nabiki asked smoothly, already smiling.

Xander trembled, and said, "Fine, I'll have to go by an ATM though." Behind Nabiki, the others were softly whispering.

Xander was just about to turn around to pull the brunette along to said ATM, when one person of the group said, "50,000 Yen for the lot."

"Mmh, Xander, that's a hundred dollars more than your offering," Nabiki said slyly pensive, "perhaps I should take it."

Xander was silent for a moment. "Oh, go right ahead, make the extra money," Xander said with a friendly tone. He raised his hand into a fist, and continued just as friendly, apart from the lightly added dangerous edge to his voice, "just know that however much you get, it won't cover your hospital bill."

Nabiki blinked, almost dismissing Xander's threat. Ranma had a sense of male honor and not hitting women that he'd never break - unless he himself was a woman, but he pulled hat loophole out only in extreme cases - which was very admirable, it also made cleaning him out ridiculously easy. There was a glint in Xander's eye though, that told her it wasn't an idle threat. It seemed that Xander had the same rule, but that women who screwed him over were exempt. "Sorry, Xander has the better offer," Nabiki said and turned to Xander.

"Lead me to the damn ATM," Xander grumbled pissed off.

And so they went to an ATM, and Xander got the money out of the wall. Nabiki handed over the ringbinders as she took his money with a smile. "It's been a pleasure doing business with you," Nabiki told him grinning, and went to turn away.

Xander just finished quickly inspecting the contents, and commanded, "The negatives."

"What?" Nabiki asked, stopping in her tracks.

"The negatives, her, give, now," Xander told her gruffly.

Nabiki extended her arms to show her innocence and said, "I don't have them on me, and this was only for the pictures."

"No, it was for the lot, the negatives are part of the lot because you have them with you in case the demand was so high you'd be out of copies and needed a shop to make more to sell," Xander said with an angry smile, then made a beckoning gesture with his right fingers.

Nabiki took a deep breath, looking at him. She lowed her arms, and then sighed, pulling them out of the inner pocket of her jacket. "Here," Nabiki said, gave him the negatives, and then gave him a salute with a wry smile. She turned around and walked away, thinking, -Definitely smarter, Ranma _/still/_ hasn't asked for any negatives.- Then she patted her much thicker wallet, and realized it was quite a lucrative day.

Xander walked off, and found an private alley. There he got out his lighter and started burning the pictures. He burned all but one copy of each picture, so he could check if any later nude pictures of him were these, and he knew who to go to. The ringbinders he tore to shreds and dumped in the dumpsters. The plastic sheets to hold pictures went the same way. Finally he got the negatives and burned those two.

"There, now to get my money back," Xander said and walked out of the alley, back into shopping street of Nerima. "Think," he told himself, finding Nabiki walking down the somewhat filled street, and noticed where she was going. He overlaid the map of Nerima with Ranma's tour this morning, and walking steadily behind Nabiki went about figuring what she was doing what her way back was. As commanded to himself, Xander thought. He thought how Nabiki must have been well-trained being the daughter of a martial Arts teacher. He was pretty sure she'd let her training slide, and thus she was nowhere near Akane's level, let alone his, Ranma's, and Ryoga's, however she was still going to kick the average guy into the hospital if she had to face one. In short, he either needed to do this himself . . . or get numbers.

Xander halted upon seeing a group of about a dozen guys and young men, gruff looking. They're clothes were half worn away, they were wearing tattoos. Granted, one should never judge a book by its cover, but this was one hell of a cover, and the chance the cover was the inside was higher then hoping some random nice-looking individuals were not like the cover. So Xander walked over to the group, and ask them without raising his voice, "So, you looking to make some money?"

Most of the group looked up, the leader - a wiry Japanese with a shaved head - looked at Xander suspiciously. "How?" the man asked still suspicious.

A few of the men pulled knives from their jackets and started cleaning their nails with it. Oh, yeah, they were definitely like their cover. "Well, there's one girl here, just one girl, all alone, that has at least 40,000 Yen on her," Xander said with a grin, "You twelve could very easily get it away from her . . . and she's cute to, if you know what I mean." Xander waited a moment, gauging their reactions - it was obvious they were interested. "2,000 Yen if you want to know who and where she's going," Xander said with his friendly, conspiratorial smile.

The leader smirked an unpleasant smirk, and said, "Deal." He handed the 2,000 Yen over, and Xander pulled him along, hoping they wouldn't decide to get their Yen back from him. "Over there," Xander pointed along the street, and the criminal followed it, "See the brunette in the sexy green top and short jacket, very short brown hair?" He nodded. "That's her, and she'll take the second left, and then right. If you're fast, you should be able to get at the alley, and pull her in for some privacy."

"Yeah," the criminal said, nodding gently.

Xander looked down at the Japanese for a moment, then shook his head and stepped away. "I must be going now, see you," Xander said friendly and then sped off in opposite direction than Nabiki. He looked back and saw the gang start going. Xander nodded and quickly slipped into the restaurant to his right. Now it was time to make sure the little gang didn't recognize him later. He then went to the bathroom quickly, and dipped his face in some water he gathered in his hands. Lexa looked back from the mirror, and she gave herself an eye wink. Then she was off.

-----

Nabiki smiled. This had been a good day - she had made a bundle of money after all. She walking back toward home, thinking of the possibilities if Xander hadn't caught her. It didn't bring her down though; 40,000 Yen and a good amount of change was no bad harvest at all. She walked passed an alley to her right, and suddenly several arms grabbed her and pulled her in. "Hey!" she exclaimed, as she soon found even more hands and bodies getting at her, copping feels, perhaps patting her down, or both. With some force she managed to yank free, ducked and made a backward leg sheep. A yelp, and the man went down, while above her several grasping hands only grasped . . . grasping hands. She rolled forward, passing the mass of men, got up, and ran, heart beating in her throat with fear.

"After her!" he heard behind her, and then a stampede.

A few moments later Nabiki came to a halt, seeing the end of the alley marked by a wall. She turned around, and saw the gang standing for the first time. The dozen or so rough looking men grinned evilly. "You're money, whore," one bald guy said, who Nabiki suspected was the leader. She shivered, fear getting to her, but went into a combat stance. She counted the group: some twelve men. She really wished she hadn't slacked in her training, had kept it up, then she might have been as strong as Akane who probably would mow through these bastards in no time at all. As it was, with her own meager strength and martial arts basics, she probably could keep one off of her, possibly - if she was really lucky - two, but twelve was impossible. Yet, she was determined not go down without fighting; and the way they were leering at her, they had more intentions than just emptying the trash.

With her heart hammering in her throat, Nabiki said, "You're not touching me." She winced. When the gang chuckled, she knew she had been right about sounding as scared as she felt.

"Of course not, baby, not if you hand over the money," the leader said, taking a step forward, his bald head managing to look downright evil.

Nabiki straightened surprised when she heard a familiar feminine voice say, "You seem to be needing some assistance."

She turned half, and took a step back, to be able to look at both threats, while the gang gave voices of surprise and confusion. From a side door in the building stepped out a girl in jeans, a tight red shirt that strained around her breasts. With hands clasped over her chest, she casually leaned back against the wall, standing one foot, the other balancing lightly on her toes. Nabiki's eyes widened as she felt relieved; Lexa was coolly smirking at her. One member of the gang cracked maliciously, "Look at that, guys, two for the price of one."

Nabiki felt herself calm down, knowing how strong Xander/Lexa was, almost as strong as Ryoga - almost as strong as Ranma. They didn't stand a chance, or at least . . . why was she just standing there doing nothing but smirk at her. "Al right, girls, hand over the money," the leader repeated, and they slowly started forward.

Lexa casually lifted a hand and started inspecting her nails. With the advancing criminals, Nabiki's fear started to grow again. "You're not going to help me?" Nabiki asked fearful and shocked at Lexa.

"No . . . no, I don't really see the point, do so much work, and getting nothing in return," Lexa observed relaxedly, making the criminals halt in confusion.

Nabiki frowned, still afraid, and then the fear completely ebbed away as she understood. Xander / Lexa had probably even set these bastards onto her. "But you'd 'help' me for 400 dollars?" she asked with narrowed eyes, having to hand it to Xander in the back of her mind, he was actually scamming his scammed money back - most assuredly was he better at economics.

"No."

"WHAT?" Nabiki exclaimed, shocked at the casual dismissal.

"I was more thinking along the lines of 600," Lexa casually stated, making Nabiki's eyes bulge out. The criminals listened to the conversation in mounting confusion and surprise. "Nabiki, not only did you make me pay for my very own photos, but you also ruined my afternoon in Tokyo, you ruined the afternoon in Tokyo of a _/very/_ good friend of mine as well, the emotional damage, the physical exertion of catching up and finding you, not to mention I have interest rates: _/very/_ . . . _/steep/_ . . . interest rates."

"I'm _/not/_ paying you 600 dollars!" Nabiki stated.

"NO! YOU'LL BE GIVING THEM TO US!" the leader of the criminal gang bellowed, pissed off at the conversation and tired of it keeping them from their goal. "So quit the yapping, it doesn't matter who pays who, you both will be handing your money over to us."

Lexa regarded the criminals for a moment, and then shrugged. She turned around and started walking toward the back wall, saying, "Suit yourself, Nabiki."

Nabiki's fear returned, looking at the criminals. They were starting to advance again. She knew without doubt Ranma would never let them get to her; it would have just been a bluff - he'd save her regardless. "You're bluffing," Nabiki told Lexa, but she didn't react to the statement. The question was; _/was/_ Xander just bluffing, or had she pissed him off enough he didn't care? Lexa started to get dangerously close to the wall, over which she would no doubt jump soon and disappear, and she had as yet to say anything. Who had the longer breath, was she willing to call Lexa's bluff and risk it not being one?

"All right! That's it, get them!" the leader yelled, and the criminals started to surge forward. At the same time, Lexa's body coiled, ready jump up.

"ALL RIGHT!" Nabiki shrieked, stopping the criminals in their tracks, seeing if the situation had changed. Lexa casually bent down to jump away. "I'll pay it! I'll pay the 600!" Nabiki quickly said.

Instead of jumping, Lexa turned on the ball of her foot, walked over to Nabiki, and with a smirk held out her hand. Nabiki gave a growl, but quickly reached for her wallet, producing the some 60,000 Yet that constituted some 600 dollars. "I'm broke," Nabiki complained, as she placed the papers on Lexa's hand.

Lexa made a quick count, already turning to face the criminals she had sicked on Nabiki, and stuffed the money away in her own wallet. "Alright then, time for some asskicking," Lexa said with a grin, taking a step forward.

"We're thirteen, what do you-!" the criminal leader started to ask, and then Lexa's fist slammed into his stomach and he doubled over, sinking to his knees with the exclaim, "OOF!" Smiling she twisted around, giving the gang member to his left a round house kick to the face that sent him flying back. He slammed into the wall, knocking the breath out of him, and he sank to the ground unconscious. The others looked surprised; their mistake. Lexa gave one gang member an uppercut, making him fly into the air, slamm against the wall and fly down. A kick sent another one flying to the right and into another gang member. Both of them sprawled tot he floor, the one kicked unconscious. Lexa danced through the gang members with a smile on her face; one by one they were sent flying, or fell to the ground unconscious. One made a nice arc right and forward. The following to the left, slamming against a dumpster. One criminal got out a bat and prepared to slam her in the head with it. She reached out though, grabbed his balls, squeezed hard, and _/kept/_ them squeezed hard.

"AAAAH!" the criminal screamed out like a baby, dropping the bat. "Let go! Please l-le- goo!" Lexa didn't; she simply slammed her left fist into another criminal, sending him flying back, and kicked high to her right. The criminal kicked, was sent flying high before slamming down . . . directly into a half-filled dumpster. The guy who's balls she was squeezing trying to hop and move with everyone of her movement, which made her yank on his balls. Tears flew his eyes, whimpering, coughing out fearful gasps, begging, "Please, plea, pl- pl- . . ."

Finally Lexa showed him pity, telling him, while making a painful sympathetic sound, "Ssh, you might not believe, but I know how that feels . . . actually no, I never got my balls squeezed like that . . ." Then she grabbed him by his neck with her left hand, the man crying. She picked him up, and then turning him around body slammed him into a dumpster, where he remaining groaning and crying in pain. The remaining two tried running. Lexa chased after them, and jumped high, somersaulted, and then slammed both feet forward. She caught them at the side of their faces and they went down painfully, groaning. Two quick punches later they were done for.

"Wow," Nabiki said, admiring Lexa making quick work of the criminals.

Lexa turned back, and saw all the criminals lying around, sprawled on the floor, either groaning or unconscious - except those in the dumpsters. She grinned, and picked the two up, slamming them in a dumpster. He went to do the same things with the others, telling Nabiki, "Find something to lock or weigh down the lids with." A little later all the criminals were in dumpsters, and Lexa slammed the lids closed. "Alright," Lexa said, as Nabiki finished securing the dumpsters, "now we find a phone booth and call the cops where they can find them, I'll bet they're wanted, or did something they haven't been identified for."

"Yeah," Nabiki said and walked over to Lexa, and the two started to walk away.

"You know," Lexa said with a big grin, "you were cutting it kinda close there. A few more moments, and I'd have kicked their asses without you paying me." Nabiki's face froze even as she continued walking. She looked up at the somewhat taller Lexa, surprise on her face, even more so when Lexa wiggled her eyebrows at her once. Nabiki felt like smiling and crying at the same time. Smiling that Xander wasn't a cold-hearted bastard, crying at the utter humiliation she felt. Xander had beaten her, fully, totally, completely, and every way.

"You feel that much about naked pictures, huh? I pegged you wrong then," Nabiki asked deflated, and yet somehow proud of this guy.

"No," Lexa said, shaking her head with a wry look on her face. Nabiki looked up at Lexa in confusion. "Naked pictures isn't the problem, it's just that nobody but me is going to make money off of my body. Certainly not some amateur photographer and an amateur distribution network." Nabiki looked with large eyes full of surprise at him. Lexa smirked at her, and said, "What did you expect anyway? I would never let you get away with my money like that. I'm an American, after all, the only ones with a greater reputation for economics are the Dutch. You know? Going Dutch?"

Nabiki slowed down and gestured to a phone booth close by, the shopping street just beyond. Lexa smiled, and said seriously, "Just remember. Don't ever try to scam money from me again. I'll just scam more of it back." Then she went into the booth, leaving Nabiki to ponder that statement. She did more than ponder though, looking Lexa over with admiration - he had beaten her. She was _/good/_. A short while later Lexa came out, and said, "Well, the police are on their way."

"Have you ever thought about playing poker?" Nabiki asked, looking a now dumbfounded Lexa over critically.

"Huh?" Lexa replied.

Nabiki grinned up at her, and said, "Come on, with a body like this, and a poker face like that, we'd make millions!"

"_/We'd/_ make millions?" Lexa asked Nabiki in disbelief.

"You'll need a manager," Nabiki started her sales pitch, and Lexa rolled her eyes while turning around, then walked into the direction of her temporary place of residence.

-----

**Sunnydale**

Willow, Buffy, Cordelia and Oz stood in front of the Chinese restaurant. 'The Amazon Dragon' was blazoned on the building proudly, the Chinese characters proclaiming the same thing underneath. "How come they're closed, they have good food here," Buffy said in defeat at the empty place, lights out.

"And half-dressed, hot, male waiters," Cordelia said annoyed, folding her hands across her ample chest. The shirt she wore had plenty of cleavage, and she was pushing her breasts up. Buffy noticed it for a moment, but had already turned away.

Willow read out loud from a small paper stuck to the door's window, "'_On vacation, be back by August 20.'_"

"Vacation?" Buffy exclaimed, looking at Willow.

"Well, they were here for Xander, and he's in Japan, so they could have taken a trip home while he's gone. That is Xander's return date, you know," Willow explained a little perturbed.

"You'll just have to buy yourself a Playgirl then, Buffy," Cordelia said smugly, a hint of a smile on her face and in her voice.

Buffy narrowed her eyes and looked to her right and up at the cheerleader. "That's not funny," Buffy said dryly, daring the cheerleader to disagree. Cordelia just glared back down.

"Okay, so where do we eat now then?" Willow prompted, making the two other girls look back at her. Willow looked innocent in her white t-shirt, jeans and normal shoes. The fact that the jeans were skintight around her butt, and the shirt around her breasts give her the whole aura of sexy innocence: of come here, I'm young, I'm a virgin, I'm naive, and a little horny. The two pony tails she wore on either side of her head, somewhat to the back, reinforced the look. Buffy allowed her eyes to glide over the redhead for a moment. Willow continued, "The Mac? Burger King? Something else."

"There's a new one, Double Meat Palace, we could try that out," Oz finally spoke up, short and to the point as usual.

"Double Meat Palace?" Buffy asked with a wrinkled face of skepticism. Her eyes briefly flickered to Cordelia's breasts, then down to her own 'double meats'. "Why does that sound rancid?" she asked with a disgusted face.

"Well, we never know unless we try. Lead on, Oz," Willow said, and the troop of four turned to follow their new leader. Buffy took a peak at Willow, then looked forward. Yeah, she wasn't bisexual after all, Buffy thought. The dreams were just stupid dreams. After all, if she were bisexual, she'd be staring at Cordelia's breasts all the time, or at least steel regular long glances as Oz was doing, and probably thinking they, or at least Cordelia didn't notice. It was cute, even brilliant and silent, he was still a man. Yep, she wasn't after, and noticing Willow looked hot was not her being bi, that was just her being jealous, noticing that a girl was hot; like Buffy explained, if a girl couldn't recognize that, she couldn't make herself look attractive.

Thus they found themselves not soon after in the newly opened Double Meat Palace. They found themselves a table, and looked dubiously at the food on their plate they just ordered. Buffy carefully folded away the paper in which the large burger was wrapped, and gave a careful sniff. Her face got an even more dubious look. The others, not heaving quite her sense of smell, seeing as she was the Slayer, waited for the verdict. "It seems edible," Buffy finally judged, "meaning you can probably chew it and swallow it down without dying, but that's about all I'm willing to say."

"We should never have gotten junk food," Cordelia complained a little at the lack of the Slayer's support, "It's bad for my complexion and figure anyway."

Oz wrapped his hand around her waist, and said, "One hamburger won't ruin anyone's figure."

"Yeah, and you're still training like hell," Willow pointed out, somehow feeling the need to relax the Cordelia, "so you can probably use some extra protein and calories."

"Okay, fine," Cordelia said, giving up.

Buffy decided that Willow was a much better person than she was - helping and reassuring her former arch enemy, bane of he existence. But then, what else was new? Buffy decided to try out the fries first. As the others starting their preparations as well, Buffy opened her little box with ketchup. She got a fry, dipped it in the ketchup, and ate it. After swallowing, she said, "Well, the fries are okay . . . somewhat." Several nods came in answer; obviously everyone had decided the same course of action. "Okay then," Buffy said, eying the burger with suspicion. "Right," she added, and tentatively picked it up, eyeing it again, as if it might snap at her any moment.

"No fear," Oz said, grabbed his burger, and quickly took a bite out of it. Then started chewing. Everyone waited to see if Buffy's assessment was correct, or if she missed an odorless poison. Oz swallowed his mouthful of burger, and looked at the thing for a few seconds.

"Well?" Willow prompted.

Oz looked over at her, and said, "It's okay . . . it's not deadly, and I don't have the urge to hurl, so . . ." He took another bite. With some relief, the others started on their burgers as well.

-----

The four of them entered the hospital room. "Hi, Giles," Buffy greeted, seeing their mentor still lying in his bed, bandaged up. There was a fruit basket, several bouquets of flowers in vases on his nightstands, and a few get-well cards on a prick board.

"Ah, hello, Buffy, Willow, Cordelia, Daniel," Giles greeted with a smile as the four teens attempted to maneuver in the small room to get to some chairs. Buffy and Willow took Giles' left, and Cordelia and Oz at Giles right.

"So, Xander hasn't sent you any cards yet either, I see," Buffy said, checking out the cards, turning them around to see who they were from. Most were from England, one from her mom, a few more from other school teachers.

"I wouldn't know, Buffy, the mail does take a while from Japan," Giles casually answered, taking his arms from behind his head. As Buffy blushed sitting down, and the other three smiled, Giles got his little controller and made the bed stand straighter, so he could sit comfortably.

"While Ms. Doofus takes her time to dig her grave," Cordelia said with a frown at Buffy, she produced a hamburger, held it toward Giles, and said, "We thought you might like something else than hospital food."

"Oh, bless you my favorite students, bless you," Giles said as he grabbed the junk food. He unwrapped it, and eagerly took a bite, then chewed. "Hmm, ymm," Giles muttered, chewing tastefully. He swallowed and happily took another bite. As he swallowed the second a look of horror crossed his face. Once finished with his second bite, and having swallowed it, he said, "I find this distasteful junk tasteful, delicious even. Hospital food has ruined my tastebuds. Worse, it ruined the hope that this junk was indeed the worst you Americans could produce and call food."

"And it isn't even Burger King or McDonald's," Willow happily informed him, "It's from some second rate new place we tried out today, it's quite a bit worse than the big names, although still edible." Giles looked at her with horror, then looked with confirmation at the others, and they nodded defeatedly.

"My word," Giles said, and looked down at the hamburger. With some disgust at the concept, he happily took a next bite from the still good-tasting hamburger.

"So, where's Jenny?" Buffy asked interested, having half expected her to be here 24 hours a day. She had always been here the other times they came to visit.

With a full mouth, Giles answered, "She should be here soon. And will you all help her get me released from this infernal hell hole, before the only thing I like to eat is hamburgers and fries?" The Scoobies sniggered at his request, still gouging away the hamburger.

"We'll try," Willow said with a smile, admiring the man. He had almost given his life defending them and the world. He deserved some admiration.

"So . . ." Cordelia said, surprisingly gentle. It made Willow look up, and figure Cordelia had been thinking along the same lines as her. ". . . is there anything we can do for you while you're still stuck here? Come for tea at four? Bring your tea?" Giles looked at her somewhat dubiously. She continued unrelentingly, "Bring a Charles Dickens book and read it too you?"

"I'm not quite that British, thank you very much," Giles said, making all but one of his guests look at him with surprise. Giles rolled his eyes at him, and added, "Besides, Jenny already brought the tea and shares it with at four o'clock; the only thing sane in this gods-forsaken torture dungeon."

"I think we can safely say, Giles, you are ready to leave the hospital, you're fine," Willow said with a light smile, making Giles look at her.

"Yeah, now we only have to convince the doctors," Buffy added with a smile of her own.

-----

**Nerima, Tendo residence**

They had finished eating dinner, and Ranma and Xander were relaxedly training. A basic sparring match, no real interest in beating each other, just training reactions. "How was Tokyo?" Ranma asked as he smoothly blocked a punch and deflected it.

"Didn't get the chance to get there," Xander grumbled in annoyance. "Someone tried sell naked pictures of the girl-me." Xander peered to his left with his left eye, while keeping an eye on Ranma with his other.

Ranma looked to his left, and saw Nabiki standing there in the door leading to the rest of the house. "Of course," he said with equal annoyance. Nabiki didn't seem to care about having done something wrong, her eyes were glued to Xander's form. She lead her eyes roam over his body, the glistening muscles, and remembered how lovely he had beaten her at her own game. She shivered, smirking, as she felt herself getting a light itch.

"Out of the way, Nabiki," Nabiki heard a course voice. The economic Tendo turned around to see Akane, dressed in a white gi and holding a towel around her neck, impatiently waiting for her to get out of the way.

"A bit more polite never hurt anyone," Nabiki said casually, making way for her younger sister.

"Not selling naked pictures never hurt anyone either," Akane returned bluntly as she walked past her sister, apparently having heard Xander's complaint.

"Touche," Nabiki said with a confident grin. She casually turned around and continued watching the sparring guys, smiling as her eyes once more glided over Xander. Off to Nabiki's right Akane performed a worming up, before stacking a good eight stones, and slamming her fist through it with only a little effort.

As Akane continued her own training routine with heavy shadow-fighting, Xander and Ranma sped up a little, starting to exert their prowess. "On the other hand, it does have an good side: it means you and I can go explore Tokyo together tomorrow, if your new slave driver isn't around that is; we should leave very early," Xander said, blocking punches, avoiding kicks and throwing those of his own.

"Good idea," Ranma said with a grin, agreeing with him.

"I got some postcards on the way back, do you think I should post them tonight, or just do it when we're in Tokyo tomorrow?" Xander asked his friend, grinning as their sparring sped up a little more. Behind them Akane made noises typically associated with throwing punches, her training still going strong.

"Definitely tomorrow, we get up early, we have extra time," Ranma told Xander and he nodded. The two then went silent apart from battle sounds, as they really went at it, punching and kicking hard, deflecting them, dancing away and attacking. Nabiki looked with slightly larger lustful eyes as she saw the strength and speed her crush was wielding. It made her heart beat faster. Even Akane stopped her training for a bit to follow the two martial artists, and even though she hated to admit it about Ranma-baka, but they were good, really good, and she didn't just mean their strength and speed.

Finally the two quit, and walked to the left of the dojo, to the rack on which hung many training tools. They unstrapped several weights that they had had bound around their arms and legs. It made both girls widen there eyes, then were awed as they carefully counted just how much weight the two had had on them. Nabiki smirked as they finished, and decided to sashay over to them, and in particular Xander. The event made Akane look at Nabiki confused and suspicious. The all-business, sister Nabiki didn't sway her hips . . . at least Akane had never seen her do it, at least not this feminine before.

Outside, at the same time, a certain Amazon arrived. She looked through the window and saw Nabiki swaying her hips, and walking toward Xander. She walked to the main dojo entrance, smoothly opened the door, and greeted jovially, "Nihau!" She leaned against the door frame, back straight, chest out, right arm up along the frame, bend slightly sideways at the waist to accentuate it and her breasts, which hung straight down, and thus crooked from her normal position. Her short tight dress, white with pink and red flowers, left most of her legs bare, and an enticing site.

"Ah, Lotion," Xander said, half enjoying her presence, half annoyed. Nabiki glared at the arrived Amazon.

Lotion then walked over to Xander with quite some speed, but not forgetting to sway her body as deliciously as Nabiki was training. She came behind Xander and wrapped her hands caressingly and possessively over his shoulders, bringing them together over his chest, and she said out loud, "How's my boyfriend to day?" And she laid a gentle kiss in his neck, which sent a shiver down his back. At the same time, she gave Nabiki a piercing look.

"BOYFRIEND?" three voices exclaimed as one shocked. Even Ranma - he knew the situation from the letters, but he had never got a hint that Xander considered himself any of the girls' he was dating boyfriend.

-Good, nipped nicely in the but,- Lotion thought, keeping her look trained on Nabiki, while pressing her breasts into Xander's back.

Xander just looked a little surprised. He let his shoulders slump a little as he somewhat nodded. The he said, "Yes, no, not really, and yes."

"And what is _/that/_ supposed to mean?" Akane growled, folding her arms across his chest. Ranma did the same, actually wanting to hear the explanation on that one.

"Well, it's like this . . ." Xander began, looking up to think of the best way to explain it, while Lotion gently massaged his back with her ample chest, smiling, and not helping Xander's concentration any. Of course, he did love a challenge, so Xander continued his answer, "I had a huge crush on this girl, you see, but she didn't feel the same way. Lotion wanted me because I defeated her in combat and there's some Amazon tradition about that, and then I had my best friend since kindergarten (female) after me, as well as the cheerleader captain. I figured the only way to choose between the three was to get to know them, and thus date them - it might also make the first girl notice, and get jealous."

"My future husband," Lotion spoke appraisingly, tightening the hug, which was now made by her hands around his waist instead of alongside the neck. "So smart," she added, making Akane and Nabiki roll their eyes.

"So that's exactly what I did, dated them, kissed them on occasion, so if that's you're definition of boyfriend, then I am somewhat, and a boyfriend to one other girl," Xander finished, Akane looking with big eyes at him.

Lotion clarified sweetly, "One fell in love with werewolf, the other slept with a vampire and now Xander is all 'squick' around her, dumb pig-nosed girl."

"You dated _/three/_ women, stringing them along?" Akane asked in shock, growing angrily.

"It isn't like they didn't know, I made the deal with all of them present; they wanted a chance at getting me, I gave them the opportunity but they'd have to compete with the others," Xander explained with a shrug, while Akane grew even more angry.

"Smart future husband, make girls compete, make them proof their worth, choose strongest, fittest, smartest, most beautiful," Lotion said with admiration, now breaking the hug.

"And it was four," Xander added, after a moment thought, "the first girl, for a while there, dated me too, while she dated the vampire that eventually made me go 'squick'."

"YOU PERVERT!" Akane roared, stomping toward Xander. Xander looked confused at her, he hadn't lied to any of the girls after all, hadn't done it behind their back. "XANDER-PIG!" Akane screamed and slammed a powerful uppercut in Xander's chin, who was completely taken by surprise, not to mentioned launched straight up into the air.

"AAAH!" he screamed, going straight through the roof, leaving a hole. Several splinters, some saw dust, and small pieces of wood raining down to the floor.

Akane slowly lowered her arm, grumbling, and grimacing. She turned around and marched toward the residential areas of the house, muttering, "I don't see why he was so damned upset with Happosai, he isn't a hair better!" Then Akane was out of sight and earshot, leaving one shocked and surprised Amazon, one annoyed and tired Tendo sister, and one Saotome feeling very lucky.

"AAAh!" With a dull thud Xander slammed onto the grass just outside the dojo. "Ugh."

"Xander!" Lotion called out in concern, walking to the door.

Ranma had casually arrived, leaning just as casually with his right shoulder against the door frame. With Lotion hesitating next to him, Ranma said with a big grin, "Xan, have I mentioned lately how much I love having you around?"

Xander managed to painfully and tiredly turn his eyes up and toward Ranma. "Oh, shut up, you bastard," he grumbled out.

"You okay, future husband?" Lotion asked concerned and frightened.

"Everything except the ego," Xander muttered and forced himself to his hands and knees with some difficulty.

Inside, Nabiki sighed deeply, and told herself, "Great, leave it to my hotheaded sister to totally screw up any chances tonight." Then she turned and headed after Akane, while outside Lotion helped Xander up, while a grinning and chuckling Ranma watched.

-----

**Sunnydale, Buffy's room**

Buffy and Willow were lying on Buffy's bed. Both of them were on their stomachs, a teen-girl magazine between the two. Willow had it open on a double page filled with Brad Pitt. An interview and little story of his history, along with multiple pictures of the movie star in various stages of dress and undress. Willow read the article out loud. Buffy was listening and looking over the pictures with a naughty smile. Something in Willow's voice caught her attention, and she looked over. She was close to Willow's face, very close, and watched as her jaw moved to pronounce the sentences she was reading. Willow's lips moved gently, her tongue between them along with it, she read the article in a slightly melodious voice. Buffy looked at it for a moment, and then turned her eyes away, backward, in doing so, her eyes glanced across Willow's shapely back, and even more shapely buttocks, the later encased in tight jeans, the former in a tight pale brown shirt. Buffy turned back again, her eyes glancing over the long, red hair, which moved about slightly as Willow moved her head to follow the sentences. Buffy's eyes returned to Willow's lips, moving as she spoke. Buffy stared at them, not knowing what she was feeling, and not really aware of it. She just stared at Willow's soft mouth talking. For some reason she zoned out on them, not even realizing she had done so.

"Damn, he has a great chest and arms, and look at those eyes," Willow said with a smile. When she didn't receive an answer, she added, "Yes, he has an even hotter butt, especially if you're a butt girl." Still no answer, and so Willow turned her head left to regard Buffy, while saying questioningly, "Buffy?" Willow as suddenly quite aware of Buffy's face being close to hers.

Much more so, was Buffy aware of Willow's face close to hers, _/and/_ in the right direction now. Without fully realizing what she was doing, Buffy moved her head forward, and planted her lips firmly on Willow's. Willow was surprised, almost shocked, but then regained herself . . . she closed her eyes and opened her mouth, kissing back, seeking entrance into Buffy's mouth with her tongue. Buffy's mouth opened easily, and then their tongues touched, and stimulated each other.

Buffy's eyes suddenly snapped opened wide, the electrifying, amazing feeling of tongue against tongue snapping her out of her pleasant daze. Shocked she looked for a moment at Willow's closed eyes, her tongue still working. Then Buffy broke the kiss in a panic, almost jumping back, rolling off the bed, and struggling backward till she stopped against the wall. Willow followed her antics with half curiosity, half confusion, and totally dazed.

"Oh, my god! I didn't just do that! I can't believe I . . . Oh, my god! I'm so sorry, Willow! Please don't be mad!" Buffy spoke in a panic, heart pounding in her chest.

Willow shook her head to clear it, and asked confused, "Why would I be mad?"

"I kissed you!" Buffy said, pointing at Willow, but accusing herself. "And you're all into Xander, big love of your life! I'm doing it again! I'm evil!"

Willow came forward, sitting at the edge of Buffy's bed, putting her hands next to her, feet firmly planted on the floor against each other. "I kissed you back, didn't I?" Willow said a little softly, just a little surprised at her own actions.

Buffy looked blankly at Willow, then blinked, going over the last moments of the kiss when she was pretty inactive, but Willow wasn't - not in the least. She swallowed, and then Buffy broke into hysterics. She let her head drop into her hands, bringing up her hands, "This can't be happening. I'm not bisexual, I can't be, and I'm certainly not a lesbian! God, why's this happening?"

"Hey!" Willow exclaimed softly, getting off the bed. She crossed the short distance to Buffy rapidly, and wrapped her into a hug. She pulled Buffy's hands gently from her head, and held it herself, saying, "Everything is okay, nothing bad happened. Why are you so upset?"

"I can't be," Buffy almost cried.

"Being bisexual isn't bad," Willow said, a slight hitch of pain in her voice.

"It isn't," Buffy whimpered, looking up at Willow, "but out there everybody thinks so! I'll be ridiculed, any kids will be teased . . . and I can't deal with that . . . I'm-I'm . . . I'm Buffy . . ." She trailed off weakly.

"You _/won't/_ be ridiculed," Willow said forcibly, hugging Buffy close. "I'm not being ridiculed, and even if we were, we aren't by the people that matter. Why is that so bad anyhow? Not like you were Miss Popular since you became Xander's and my friend."

"That's highschool, and this . . ." Buffy trailed off, shaking her head.

"Life?"

Buffy nodded, and continued, "And I'm being stupid, bitch cheerleader again. Stupid. I liked being popular, love by all . . . oh, god I'm so bad."

Willow broke the hug somewhat and forced Buffy to look up at her, "You weren't loved by all."

"I know, hence stupid!" Buffy exclaimed in defeat. "I'm one screwed up bitch."

Willow chuckled lightly, not able to attain it, making Buffy look even more pitiful, a tear welling up. Willow sat further down, off of her knees to be at the same level at Buffy. "I think I understand," Willow said, looking deep in Buffy's blue / grey / gold / brown eyes, amazed at the color spectrum and the depth and breath of emotion they were holding. "It was bad enough you were the Slayer and not part of life, but if you weren't nice and straight, you'd be completely tossed out of it, you who were also so fully in life, or at least so you thought."

The emotions in Buffy's eyes went through a kaleidoscope, first shock, then revelation, and then self-hatred, or at least blame at being 'stupid'. Willow couldn't resist, she dipped forward and kissed Buffy deeply for a moment, then broke away. She looked at Buffy, who looked with wide eyes at her. "But . . . Xander?" Buffy asked her, confused.

"You still in love with him?" Willow asked seriously, but with a smile she couldn't quite keep off her face, her heart beating powerfully in her chest. Buffy nodded. "So do I," Willow said the smile growing a little. "You love your mom and dad right, even while loving me and Xander as friends and more?" Buffy nodded dubiously. "We can love more than one person at the same time," Willow finished her explanation, never taking her eyes off of Buffy's.

"But . . . I . . . what?" Buffy asked confused, not understanding.

"I've been noticing you, Buffy, for the last few weeks. But you were always firm and convicted straight girl, so I just figured I'd lust unseen after you from afar, do some dirty fantasies," Willow said with a grin, actually making Buffy blush, something Willow liked seeing on Buffy. "When were you . . .?"

"Few weeks too," Buffy said, her heart hammering, not knowing where this was going, or whether she wanted to go there. "Have been having weird dreams past few days too, liked you sleeping against me Ozsitting . . ." Willow was about to speak, when buffy said suddenly, "Actually . . ." She paused, and Willow looked questioningly at her. "If I'm honest . . . I think a bit of me's been curious . . . about girls . . . since you kissed me at Halloween." Willow frowned, thinking back, and then remembered kissing Buffy when she decided that Lotion would most definitely not have Xander even if it meant sharing him with Buffy. God, was that really only so short a time ago? Lotion didn't seem like the pure evil she looked like then anymore . . . not that she was a sweetheart. When Buffy saw that Willow remembered, Buffy added, "And more so . . . well, Xander and I were kissing one time, and he turned into a she . . . and at first the kiss was so good I couldn't care less what gender he was . . . before I snapped out of it and hurt him with my stupid head by jerking back like she was contaminated or something."

Willow chuckled a bit, then kissed Buffy quickly again. Then she said, "Buffy, I have no idea where this could lead, or what it could do, whether we'll break up one, whether we'll be rivals again for Xander, or not, and Lotion steals him away from both of us, whether we'll be together still when we're eighty, old and decrepit. I don't care, that's the future, and this is now . . ." Buffy looked confused at Willow, and Willow smiled a bit, before continuing, "All I know is, I could have had him long before you arrived, I'm pretty certain, if I hadn't let life pass me by, if I had the guts to do something, if I hadn't sit on my ass waiting for something to happen . . . Buffy, I'm tired of waiting around for something to happen, I wanna try this, you and me, and see where it leads." Buffy looked with wide eyes, a whole mixture of emotions boiling through her. When Willow's lips touched hers, and their tongues started a passionate dance, all those emotions boiled even harder away, leaving only the passion, the crush, the love, the lust for this sexy, hot girl . . . and a fear of the unknown.

After a few minutes of heavy making out, the two girls wrapping more and more in a deep embrace, they finally came up for air. Buffy nodded vigorously, "Yeah, me too, but I'm a little afraid."

"I know," Willow said gently, looking deeply again in those colorful, sexy eyes. She place a quick kiss on Buffy's cute and sexy, nubby nose. Then she said, "Buff, let's not forget the pact with Xander we made, right?"

"Not forgetting," Buffy agreed, nodding her head, holding up her hand. Willow placed hers in Buffy's, gripping each other's hands tightly, they repeated in unison, "Whatever happens, friends first."

"So . . . I guess we have go out on a date now, huh?" Buffy asked.

To Be Continued . . .

Author's notes:

Okay. There it is! Like it? I hope you guys do! I hope you laughed! Hope you were surprised. Hope you were moved . . . tell it to me in lots of feedback here: 3d.masterchello.nl


	3. Part 3: The Economic American

Author's notes: Ah! Finally finished Ultima 5: Lazarus, and now this third and fore last part of the Xander in Nerima section of this season. I hope you guys like it. Someone asked for a time frame; well seeing as Xander is getting taught the Hiryu Shoten Ha, it can only be early in the fourth season of Ranma ½. Basically, I'm going that some 3 seasons, equals a single year, seeing as there's not much real time passage in the show - it's pure humor after all.

Okay, then, on with the story. Have fun, and give me feedback as usual!

----Part 3: The Economic American----

Xander had finished his cold shower, and turned it too hot, thus returning to his true self. He let his hands move over his body, the warm water and shampoo caressing him. It was a good shower.

"Well, hello big boy."

"YAAAH!" Xander exclaimed in surprise, turning instantly to his right, where the voice was coming from. Outside of the cubicle was Nabiki, leaning casually against the sink, and had a very predatory smirk on her face; her eyes casually going down without a moment of shame.

"Very big boy," Nabiki said approvingly, all but purring. She herself was in a tight pair of jeans hot pants, and a top that left her belly button visible.

"Have you no shame?" Xander exclaimed, and quickly put his hands in front of 'himself'.

"What for? Only gets in the way of making money and ogling hot guys," Nabiki said, her smirk not once wavering.

"I should try this on you or your sisters! I'd be chased down the street being called a pervert," Xander said angrily, turning around to turn off the shower.

"Not by me you wouldn't, I'd just pull you in and ravish you," Nabiki said, licking her lips while checking out Xander's naked behind, and what a behind.

Xander's eyes widened and then growled. He turned back around and stepped out of the cubicle, his shower cut short. As he took the first step out, he looked at Nabiki just standing there ogling him. "Get me the **-damn-** towel!" Xander told Nabiki.

Nabiki sighed deeply, theatrically, sadly, and handed Xander his towel. Xander rapidly tied it around his waist, which meant Nabiki's eyes had risen to his muscular chest. "Hmm," she purred.

Xander grumbled, grabbed a second towel, and then told her, "I should make naked pictures of you and hang them in my room."

As Xander started toweling off with the second towel, Nabiki grinned, gave a shrug, and told him, "Perhaps you should. And I really should get a batch of naked pictures of you and hang them in my room."

"All right, off with the clothes," Xander said, fed up.

"What?" Nabiki exclaimed surprised.

"Off with the clothes. You've seen me naked as a boy and a girl, you spy on me, tried to sell my naked pictures, and are shamelessly ogling me here, as if I'm one of the Chippendales. That entitles me to some return viewing. Off," Xander said somewhat angrily.

"I'm not-" Nabiki started, and Xander stepped forward, dropped the second towel, grabbed the buttons of her pants, and started undoing them. "HEY!" she exclaimed in surprise. The hot pants were shoved down to her knees a moment later, revealing a red, silky g-string. Shocked, Nabiki moved her hands down to stop Xander but he was far too strong as they reached up to her top. "Stop it!" Nabiki protested, but Xander continued. "All right, all right, I'll quit the ogling and the stupid innuendo!"

Xander pulled his hands back, "Oh, now you've got modesty, huh?" He reached down for the second towel.

Nabiki looked at Xander, seeing his fists in his sides, and with his muscular physique he looked like a god. The left side of her mouth quirked up, and she moved her hands up her torso. It reached her top, and pressing a little harder it moved up with her hands. Xander looked surprised as Nabiki sensually pulled her top over her breasts, exposing them. They looked good, c-cup, apple-shaped with slightly pointy nipples. "Like what you see?" Nabiki asked huskily.

Xander tore his surprised eyes from Nabiki's exposed chest, and looked into her eyes. "What is it you want, Nabiki?" Xander asked her directly, fed up with the games.

Nabiki smiled, and gently lowered her top again, answering, "You."

"What?" Xander asked confused.

Nabiki smiled brighter, baring her separated teeth, and said, "More precisely, I want you to take my virginity."

Xander's eyes all but popped out. He stared at her for a moment, the second towel dropping back to the floor. He shook his head, and with a raised right index finger, he said, "Uh, excuse me, but I thought I just heard you say that you wanted me to . . . uhm . . ."

"Take my virginity," Nabiki finished for him. "That is indeed what I said."

"Oh," Xander said, and got a grip on his mind. How to handle this? "Well, you see, Nabiki, it's like this. I'm going back to the US in a few weeks, and I've got somewhat girlfriends there, including Lotion, and-"

Nabiki interrupted him with a smile, leaning back again, the sink in her lower back, "I didn't ask for a relationship, Xander Harris. I want you to take my virginity."

Xander's eyes widened again. He asked, "You don't want?"

"Oh, no, the men I date, am with, marry one day are suckers, losers who will pay my bills. You though, you outwitted me. I want a man that I can respect to take my virginity," Nabiki told him frankly. Xander's eyes widened a bit more, frozen, trying to wrap his mind around that. "It's called a one-night-stand," Nabiki clarified.

"I know," Xander said, and straightened up. He couldn't do that. He had girlfriends. They're not girlfriends! Not yet! Another part of his mind disagreed. But . . . No buts! You have an arrangement. It's all very clear that you are not with any of them until you make a decision. You are free.

Part of him wanted to point out one-night-stands were wrong. -Oh, fuck it!- he told himself though. She wanted it, he wanted it . . . now, he wasn't misleading her, hell he wasn't even the one doing the seducing. There was just no way he could pass up this opportunity, he indeed wasn't with anyone until he made a clear decision. "I take it you have given this more thought?" Xander asked with smirk.

Nabiki smiled back, feeling her heart beating in her chest. It was really going to happen, her eyes returned to his body, flashes of what it might be like shooting through her. "Nine o'clock, tonight, meet me outside at the gate, I know a comfortable motel," Nabiki said softly, now suddenly nervous, not understanding why.

"Condoms? You got some, or do I go get them," Xander asked swiftly and softly as well, not really wanting anyone to overhear.

"You get them," Nabiki answered, then hesitated as she wanted to go. "Have you ever . . .?" she asked swiftly, then trailing off, feeling herself flush.

"As a guy, yes," Xander said, smiling just a little.

Nabiki swallowed the saliva that had formed in her mouth, and then asked, "Was it good?"

"Very," Xander said, flashing back to Buffy, remembering how totally the two of them had felt and moved seemingly as one, how their pleasure had exploded through them.

"For her too," she asked even more softly.

"Definitely," he answered, and Nabiki looked up. "Trust me, she was as blown away as I was," Xander asked, smirking now, feeling how the situation was now in his hands. Nabiki shivered, and prepared to leave. "Was over too quickly though," Xander stopped her, remembering the aftermath. "Be very certain you want this, and we'll just have to do it more often if we don't want the same sensation." Nabiki looked back at him for a moment, and then realized what he meant: he wasn't going to quit after one time. She licked her lips, gave Xander a last look, and then hurried out. "I can't believe this is happening," Xander muttered, looking down at himself, then smiled broadly.

-----

The breakfast table was tense - very tense. They were all present, including Happosai, in fact he was sitting across from Xander, apparently to keep an eye on him. Xander returned the favor, eating silently while keeping his eyes trained on Happosai as much as possible. The two of them glared at each other, attempting to force the other into submission by eyes alone, and neither were having any luck. Nabiki gently looked from one to the other, and then swallowed, even though she didn't have anything in her mouth except saliva. Soun and Genma looked on, and with them the terror was easily readable off of their faces. They were hoping desperately the two weren't going to throw more bombs around. Akane was eating, and stole nervous glances at the two, ready to bolt if either pulled bombs out. Ranma never showed fear, but he too peered from Xander to Happosai and back a little nervous. He may be the greatest martial artist in Japan, if not the world, but not even he was stupid enough to stand in the way of a bomb.

Thus, breakfast was silent . . . well, almost. Kasumi did seem to notice the tension at all, and happily hummed along while she ate. While she did so, glances kept being thrown at Xander at Happosai, who did not take their eyes off from each other.

Finally it was Happosai that broke the silence, "What are you looking at, girly boy?"

"At a disgusting, perverted, old geezer," Xander answered with a growl, completely oblivious to everyone but Kasumi looking alarmed at the two.

"You take that back, kiddy," Happosai retorted, not caring as two males made desperate, terrified signals for him and Xander to stop.

"The hell I will, grandpa!" Xander hissed back, completely unnoticing the signals.

Happosai stood up, slamming his hands on the table, and said, "That does it."

"What are you gonna do? Toss more bombs? I'll toss them right back, and this time I'm going to make sure I take you out, even if I have to lay waste to the entire greater Tokyo area!" Xander exclaimed, looking at Happosai with blazing eyes, who returned it.

"Please don't!" Genma whimpered, bowing down in front Xander, hands pressed together above his head. "Surrogate son great warrior and chemist, we know, no more destruction please!"

Across from Xander Soun was bowing down to Happosai in the same way, begging and whimpering, making Ranma roll his eyes. Happosai turned back from Soun to Xander, and said, "You're in luck, upstart, if my pupil was not begging my restraint . . ."

"Same goes for you, old man, if my surrogate father wasn't asking me . . ." Xander said, glaring back to Happosai just as hard as Happosai was glaring at him.

"Oh, thank the gods," Soun and Genma said, looking up at the skies in gratitude.

And so the Tendo extended family ate breakfast in peace that morning . . . for all of two minutes. "Nihau!" was yelled as the doors were pulled open, revealing Shampoo. "Come for training!"

She grabbed Ranma at the back, and pulled him along. "Glo! Mmmh! Mmh!" Ranma gargled, as the bread he was just eating shot into the wrong hole still unchewed, making him gag and cough. He was lifted up in the air over the table, while choking on the food, spraying some of it over the table. "MMMH!" Ranma exclaimed further, turning red, coughing for air. Finally he managed to get it out of the wrong hole and down the right one, and before he disappeared from sight, he said, "Shampoo! Damn you! Come on, Xander!"

Xander shrugged and followed the couple while Akane looked steamed. The rest shrugged and continued eating breakfast, except Kasumi who said, "Oh, my."

-----

Ranma smoothly ducked beneath Shampoo's punch, and smashed both his hands into her stomach. The Amazon was launched off of her feet, and smacked on the wooden floor ass first. "Ouch," Shampoo exclaimed, and quickly got up, looking determined. She advanced on Ranma who waited patiently for her with a smile on his face. "Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire!" Shampoo exclaimed in Chinese . . . and threw several barely faster punches as normal, which Ranma easily avoided, and brought the Amazon down with a leg swipe.

"Oof!" Shampoo exclaimed as she landed on her back.

"You should have been able to see that coming," Ranma said with disapproval at the Amazon. This was dang odd; he was teaching students, and one of them a girl. Of course, if he truly was to inherit the Tendo Dojo he would have to start sooner or later.

"Why not work! Work for Lotion! Why me not?" Shampoo exclaimed frustrated, and then sat up.

Xander was slowly working on his circles, totally calm. "Took Buffy and Lotion more than three months to learn," Xander told her, "you can probably expect it to take that long with you."

"What Xander said," Ranma said, enjoying the work out. Usually he was alone, only occasionally sparring with Akane; but she was nowhere near Shampoo's level. If Xander trained regularly with girls of Shampoo's and Lotion's caliber, and training with Ryoga, and training with magic practitioners, it was no wonder his friend had improved so much. He was almost as good as himself - it was time Shampoo, Akane and the like were going to train with him, and he teach and train them, that way they'd get better and he'd have better training partners, so he could stay ahead of Xander.

"But you and Xander do in days!" Shampoo exclaimed frustrated.

"Yeah, well, we're men," Ranma said, and shrugged. Shampoo looked at him with a dreamy look, which he completely missed. Behind them though, Akane had arrived into the dojo a little earlier. At first she had taken in the sweaty boys, enjoyed the look, but then realized that Shampoo must enjoy the look as well, and they probably enjoyed Shampoo's sweaty vision vice versa. It had made her pissed; which made her increase the stack of planks to slam her hand through by nearly half, and succeeded destroying them with ease. She now noticed Shampoo's dreamily look, and glared at the Amazon balefully.

Shampoo shook her head though, and got up. "We continue!" she exclaimed, breathing a little heavily.

"Ranma, I wanna try this out again, I think I got it now," Xander said, and went into a stance.

Ranma smiled, and told Shampoo, "Right after Xander's tryout." The Amazon grumbled but acquiesced. To Xander Ranma said as he walked to the exit, "Let's do it outside, huh. You have mastered it, we're not going to destroy the building."

Xander nodded, and they went outside. Xander calmed himself several meters away from the building, while Ranma increased his chi and heat. "Ready?" Ranma asked, slightly nervous; if Xander indeed had succeeded he was going to be tossed around by the whirlwind just like it had Xander earlier.

"Ready," Xander answered with a slight smile. Leave it to Xander to realize it too, Ranma reflected before charging. Ranma made his chi burn bright, and allowed himself to follow the spiral Xander was making backwards. They reached the middle, and Xander made the uppercut, grasping the chi around him with his own, yelling, "Hiryu Shoten Ha!"

Wind picked up . . . just a little, and Ranma's fist connect with Xander's right cheek, sending him flying backward and landing painfully on his ass. "Ow," he said, sitting back up. "Was that necessary?"

"It'll be incentive for you to master the art quicker," Ranma said with a grin. "AAH!" he exclaimed a moment later, as Shampoo dragged him back into the dojo.

"Future Husband hurry training, must beat upstart!" Shampoo exclaimed, while dragging Ranma back inside. The boy was mumbling several expletives, while Xander watched astounded. Then he started training again.

-----

**Sunnydale**

The beautiful ass was wrapped in leather, and gyrating seductively in front of Buffy. The band playing in the bronze was swinging the place up, lights flashing around. Buffy pressed herself against the beautiful girl, looking around slyly. The place was packed, and lots of boys and men, a few with girls were dancing around them. Her hands circled Willow's waist and rubbed across the redhead's bare stomach, feeling the soft warm skin. Buffy moaned slightly as she pressed herself even closer to Willow's backside, whispering in Willow's ear, "I had no idea a girl's ass could look so good." Willow smirked as Buffy's lips touched her skin just below her ear. Buffy then added, "You look so damn hot in leather."

With the boys around them looking both wide-eyed and disappointed, Willow turned her head back slightly and returned the compliment, "You look pretty damn good in a skirt yourself, Buffy." Their lips touched, they still moved to the music, then their tongues massaged each other, making Willow shiver, and Buffy marvel at her best friend's lips.

Off to the side, Oz and Cordelia sat at a table, on a couch. Cordelia's eyes were wide and watched the couple kiss, and heat the place up with their sexy dance. "Pinch me," Cordelia muttered. Oz silently moved his hand over, and pinched her knee. "Ouch," Cordelia said, and rubbed her knee, before turning back to watch the lewd scene. "I must be hallucinating. Oz, am I hallucinating?"

"I would have to know what you're seeing to make that assessment," the guitar player answered smoothly.

"Buffy and Willow are kissing - each other - with tongue!" Cordelia said in disbelief, gesturing impotently at the scene, as quite a few guys decided however hot the sight, it was best spending time on girls they actually had a chance with. The remaining quarter of the male Bronze patronage, disagreed.

"The persons having the same hallucinations is basically impossible, so I can safely say, you're not hallucinating," Oz answered, his own eyes taking in the sight, and not completely unaffecting by it, which made him frown just a tiny bit as he thought about it. Willow had turned around, and her hands were on Buffy's ass, tightening the fabric of the short skit around the roundness. They seemed oblivious to their audience, as Buffy moved her hands higher, along Willow's top, and then cupping the redhead's breasts gently.

"No way! Just no way! Has everyone gone insane in this place?" Cordelia all but shrieked in shock.

"Hellmouth, so possible," Oz said, liking the scene in front of him a lot.

Cordelia turned her head to Oz briefly, and then as the band finished the song, she said, "Buffy was straight, right? I wasn't imagining her having the hots for two males, one a corpse, last year, was I?"

"No, you didn't. It seems Buffy found another aspect of her sexuality. Shouldn't we applaud that?" Oz stated, and looked at Cordelia who pondered the question for a few moments as the band announced they were taking a few minutes break to lubricate their throats.

Willow and Buffy came over, holding hands and smiling brightly, which made Cordelia get into a foul mood. "And wasn't Willow obsessed with a certain loser we both know?" Cordelia grumbled, folding her arms across her chest. Oz nodded. The new couple reached them and sat down opposite the older one, and smiled at each other. "You two have something to tell us?" Cordelia all but growled.

Willow and Buffy looked over, confused. "Oh!" Willow suddenly realized. "We're a couple, Buffy found out she likes girls too, and I've been noticing her since Xander isn't here to distract me."

"Hey!" Buffy whined cutely, which pulled Cordelia's foul mood down even more.

"Oh, sorry, you're not second to anyone, Buffy," Willow said, and she kiss Buffy full on the mouth to reassure her.

Cordelia was about to grumble and complain to Oz, and noticed him looking with a light smile to the other couple. Cordelia sighed, rolled her eyes, and announced, "Your reason for applauding them, Oz, is you get off on it!"

Oz turned his head and regarded his steamed girlfriend. He shrugged lightly, and said, "I'm a heterosexual male." Cordelia was about to launch into a tirade, but Oz leaned over, and kissed her passionately in her neck, then lower on her collar bone. With Buffy and Willow watching a little perplexed at the uncharacteristic show of affection, Oz whispered, "It gets me hot. Let's find someplace more private."

Cordelia first shivered at the kisses, then perked up at the words. While getting up and pulling Oz along, she said with a big grin and in good spirits, "Buffy, Willow, I applaud you two. Go for it, often, in public. Excuse us." Then the cheerleader and the guitar player scrambled off through the crowd, followed by Buffy's and Willow's astonished gazes.

Willow then turned her head back to Buffy who was looking in the right direction already. Willow looked perturbed at her girlfriend, and said, "Was it something I said?"

-----

**Nerima**

Breathing heavily, the three trainees, Xander, Ranma and Shampoo, came back into the residential section of the Tendo home; more specifically, the kitchen. They were smudged, bruised, sweaty and scratched, but very fulfilled. They were smiling.

"Did you have fun?" Kasumi asked politely from where she was vacuuming the floor.

"Yep," Xander said with a grin, and Ranma nodded.

"Fun?" Shampoo asked incredulously, "This no fun! This serious! Beat Lotion! Lotion pay!"

"Oh, well, you should all get a shower, separately of course," the oldest Tendo daughter offered politely.

Shampoo looked with large eyes at the woman, while Xander killing sniffed his shoulders. "Oh, yeah," he agreed with a face, "working out definitely makes the sweat glands work."

He immediately started toward the bathroom. At that moment Akane walked in, holding a cute pig to her chest. "Look, P-chan is back!" Akane exclaimed happily. "Isn't he cute? I wish I knew where you manage to get off to all the time." The girl then hugged the pig even closer.

As Ranma and Shampoo rolled their eyes, Xander did a double take. He looked closer, and noticed the pig suddenly glaring angrily at him. "Hey, wait a minute!" Xander exclaimed, pointing at the pig, and how he was pushed close to Akane's breasts. "You-"

"Must get a shower!" Ranma quickly interrupted, and yanked Xander along to the bathroom before he could betray Ryoga's secret, clamping his hand over Xander's mouth.

Akane followed the two with confused eyes. "What's with them?" she asked in wonder.

"They worked out a lot, they're very dirty," Kasumi answered smoothly, apparently oblivious to what was going on. Akane blinked and turned her head to regard her older sister.

"I go home, bath there!" Shampoo announced, giving her rival a glare and then jumped out an open window.

Ranma pulled Xander into the bathroom, hand still covering his mouth. Then he let the annoyed mumbling Xander go, and slammed the door shut. "What the hell was that for?" Xander asked confused.

"Akane doesn't know P-chan is Ryoga," Ranma explained quickly, looking around a little guilty.

Xander stared at Ranma for several moments confused, and then said, "All the more reason to tell her, she's holding a guy to her breasts!"

"Ack. Man, that's not it. Ryoga hates it. He doesn't want Akane to know, because he can't bare the shame if he knew he was a pig half the time," Ranma said defeated, "Plus I kinda am at fault for putting him in that position."

Xander once more stared at Ranma mauling things over, and then asked, frowning in confusion and disbelief, "So you let him grope your fiancee's breasts as some sick form of compensation?"

"No! Dammit, Xander. This is honor here, so she doesn't know Ryoga's has as shameful a curse as I have!" Ranma said in annoyance. "And don't call the uncute tomboy my fiancee even if technically she is!"

"Ranma, the little bastard may once not have wanted Akane to know because of the great shame and just gotten picked up accidentally, but that's gone, he's just milking it for what it's worth. 'P-chan' equals groping breasts!" Xander frowned, went over what he said, and then considered, "Which is brilliant in an I-just-want-to-grope-breasts or I-base-my-relationship-on-a-lie-after-removing-the-curse-and-killing-everyone-who-knows-the-truth sort of evil way, but still! He's a guy that's groping a girl you know's breasts, by using duplicity!"

Ranma thought it over for a few moments, frowned, and said, "You're right, gods be damned, you're right!" Ranma was grimacing evilly now, and heading for the door.

"Let's get a shower first, you don't want Akane running away with P-chan because she wants to keep her sense of smell intact," Xander said annoyed, pulling his friend toward the bath.

-----

Xander was the one knock decisively on Akane's door. Ranma stood nervously next to him. "She's gonna kill us, before we can tell her," he whispered.

"Come in!" sounded friendly from inside the Tendo girl's room.

"At most she'll uppercut us through the roof, and we survived that," Xander said and opened the door. Dragging the reluctant Ranma after him.

When Akane, sitting at her desk, saw the two walking into her room, her good mood instantly evaporated. Holding P-chan to her breast, and narrowing her eyes dangerously at the pair, she growled, "What are _/you/_ two doing here?"

Silence. Xander turned his head to Ranma, who shrugged. Xander sighed and turned back to Akane, and raised his right finger. "_/That/_ is Ryoga," Xander stated. Immediately, P-chan squinted his eyes angrily, and squeaked, struggling to get to the bastard, but Akane held him tightly.

"Huh? What are you talking about?" Akane asked confused.

"We fell into the Pond of the Drowned Girl, he fell into the Pond of the Drowned Piglet," Xander explained, as the piglet continued his struggling.

"Don't be stupid," Akane told Xander angrily, while Ranma prepared himself to run in case Akane grabbed for a weapon. "You're just trying-" Xander reached from behind him, produced a plant spray can with warm water, and sprayed. "You ba-!" Akane started to scream in anger, but was interrupted as her balance was suddenly completely off, as well that her arms were suddenly holding _/far/_ more weight. Where P-chan had just been, there was now a naked Ryoga, barring his bandana still wrapped around his neck. Akane look shocked at the naked boy, and Ryoga at her. Then the chair keeled over and the two crashed to the floor. They lay there silent, staring in each other's eyes for a moment, thinking.

"YOU BASTARDS!" Ryoga then exclaimed and started to scramble to his feet to beat up Xander and Ranma.

Akane was getting up to, but for a different reason - well, a different person. A low growl, somewhat of a combination between a hack and a hiss; souding like something really nasty and dangerously came from her throat as she rose, slowing Ryoga down. Akane's face was twisted in a fury and rage like Ranma had never seen. He was about to run, when he heard her growl deeply,"**-Ryoga!-"**

Ryoga stopped in his tracks. He was twisted around, and an uppercut later, he was sent flying out the roof. "RAAAAAHHH!" Akane screamed and then bounded toward Ranma and a still spray-holding Xander. Ranma was about to run, when Akane hissed, "Out of the way!" She barreled passed the two, adding, "I'm not finished with that pervert yet!"

"I almost feel bad for him," Ranma said, looking as the furious Akane stormed out the room, while outside with a yell, Ryoga came back down to Earth with a smack. "Almost. I gotta see this, finally she's not blaming me!" Ranma said and charged gleefully after Akane, closely followed by a smiling.

Soon after the two friends were in the garden, watching as Akane advanced on the still dazed Ryoga, lying smack on the ground. "Ryoga!" Akane growled, and swung a mighty right, sending the boy, groaning in pain, backward, smashing against the surrounding wall.

"Aah!"

"I thought you were better!" Akane raged, getting close to him again, and started raining raining blows on the boy's face, who could only stay put and take the punishment - after all, he kinda deserved, he didn't fight girls, and he certainly not his beloved akane. "Pervert! Groper! Bastard! Molester!"

"Ouch, ooh," Ranma said with a grin a few meters off. He turned to Xander and said, "Finally he gets his." Xander nodded with a slight smirk.

After half a minute of beating Ryoga to a pulp, Akane stopped her abuse, and slowly turning around, she said dangerously, "Ranma."

Ranma smiled, wondering what Akane wanted. Xander frowned, and suddenly realized something. He quickly clasped Ranma's shoulder, saying, "Friend." That drew Ranma's attention and Xander told him, "I've detected a kink in the plan."

"Huh?"

Akane turned fully around, and shouted, "Ranma-baka! How long have you known P-chan was Ryoga and let him molest me?"

Ranma went rigid. "That kink. Run," Xander said.

Ranma's face changed to surprise as Akane started her charge. "Aah!" he exclaimed and indeed ran the other way.

"Ranma-baka! Get back here!" Akane screamed, running after the fleeing boy. "Idiot! Bastard! RANMAAAA!"

-----

Akane got back to her room, grumbling expletives about boys, perverts, and Ranma in particular. She planted herself down in her chair, depressed. Then she noticed a folded piece of paper with her name on it. She opened it, and found a letter, which she then started reading.

--O--

Akane,

I apologize deeply for my actions. I was wrong, I was disgusting. It started all innocently enough. I was a piglet, Ranma was after me, you picked me up and shielded me from him. When you held me I could see how much Ranma hated it, and so I didn't stop it. I searched it out to torment him. I found I liked you and I used Ranma as an excuse.

It was wrong; and what I did was unforgivable , therefor I will go, and I shall never return.

Goodbye, beautiful Akane,

Ryoga

--O--

Akane read over the letter again, and a third time. Then she crumbled it up, and tossed it in the trash, "Stupid Ryoga! Stupid Ranma! Boys! Baka!"

-----

**2 hours later**

Heavily breathing, and heavily bruised Ryoga came to stand still. He got lost pretty easily, now he had purposefully gone to get himself lost. "I wonder where I am," he muttered.

"Nihau, Ryoga," a beautiful brunette said as she passed him by happily. Ryoga's eyes widened in shock. She turned right to the entrance of a wall-surrounded home. The tight-fitting dress had a style that seemed familiar to him. "Xander, nihau!" the girl yelled.

_-Ryoga? Xander?-_ Ryoga thought eyes still big as saucers. He turned right, up to the sign above the gate, and read, 'Tendo Dojo.' "AAAH!" he screamed, and ran off rapidly. He slowed to stop a minute later, breathing even more heavily due to his sprint. There, now he was far enough away none from the Tendo home would see him. He could rest a bit, and then renew his attempts to get lost.

"Shampoo! Are you here my darling?"

Ryoga's eyes widened and turned around. He knew that bastard; the guy who turned into a goose. He blinked as the guy came closer. It didn't really matter, except that he vaguely recognized the wall to the left of him. There was a gate. He looked up, and read, 'Tendo Dojo.' "AAARGH!" he screamed again, and bolted once more, running onward, much onward.

Mousse stepped passed the gate, paying the screaming and running boy no heed. He looked around the Tendo place, and soon recognized the brunette standing just a bit off, happily looking onward, smiling dreamily. He checked for a moment, and found she was looking at Xander who was sitting on a rock near the pond, steadily bandaging Ranma's new injuries.

"YOU!" Mousse then exclaimed focusing on Lotion. As one the three occupants of the garden turned around and looked at the white-robed, glasses-wearing Chinese boy. His long hair hung slickly, passed his shoulders. "You hurt my Shampoo, Lotion! For that you will pay. Take this!" Mousse shot his arms forward, and a rain of sharp weapons, blunt weapons and chained weapons burst forward at the brunette Amazon.

"Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire!" Lotion exclaimed, and to Mousse's shock, the brunette's hands turned to a blur, and simply caught all his weapons. "Take own medicine, annoying loser!" Lotion told him, her Japanese as broken as her English was when she first arrived in Sunnydale, and simply tossed all the weapons back at Mousse. His eyes widened and he tried to run, but came to the shocking realization that his chained weapons Lotion hadn't tossed back.

"AAAAH!" Mousse screamed; trapped by his own chains, he could only take the onslaught of sharp weapons head on. "AAH!" he continued to scream, as they painfully embedded in his skin, or slammed against his body in the case of blunt weapons. "Oh, no, not a- AAH!"

Lotion had yanked, and pulled him into the air. Just like Ranma days earlier, she pulled him over her head, and slammed him to the ground. She let go then though, and Mousse moved onward, splashing into the pond. A moment later a gaggling GooseMousse splashed on the surface of the water. Mousse was obviously still angry and spread his wing, more weapons at the ready. "Don't you _/dare/_!" Lotion snapped, pointing at the offending birdman. "Next time I not make weapons go only so deep, you stupid duck!" GooseMousse blinked, and then settled down.

Xander and Ranma had watched the entire exchange. "He's a goose," Ranma pointed out a little uselessly.

Lotion blinked and took the boy in for a moment, then asked him, "You no have enough bruises?"

"Lotion, would you calm down," Xander said, not above admiring the feminine, strong and beautiful body of one of his suitors in the tight dress.

"Sorry," Lotion said, much more perky now, "I get testy when people throw weapons at me."

"Ah, no problem," Ranma said in a very annoyed tone, "go ahead, work your frustration off on me. It seems every girl that likes me, likes me for being a punching bag. I can probably fit you into the schedule too." He then grumbled some more.

"It wasn't that bad," Xander told Ranma, who in response glared at him.

"WHAT'S ALL THE RACKET?" The three, four if one counted the goose, of them turned to the new screaming. Akane had come back out, obviously still pissed.

"Goose-boy attacked me with weapons, for no reason, ass I kicked," Lotion explained, folding her arms across her chest.

"And who the hell are you?" Akane asked the newly arrived 'bimbo'.

"Ah," Xander tried to start, but Lotion had other plans.

"Nihau, I Lotion," Lotion said, giving a bow in greeting as was the Japanese custom, "I one of Xander's girlfriends."

"Lotion, this is Akane Tendo," Ranma introduced disinterested.

Akane's eyes widened, and she asked, "_/One/_ of _/Xander's/_ _/girlfriend**-s-**/_?" She turned to Xander and glared at him. Xander nodding casually with his eyes closed, didn't notice.

"Hai, Xander wanted pig-nosed girl, she not him then, but do now, defeated me in combat, flat-chested redhead wanted Xander since kindergarten," Lotion explained with a smile, making Xander sigh at the insults and the exaggeration, "Xander said couldn't choose, so date us all till could."

"Of all the . . .!" Akane turned to Xander, practically steaming. The two guys gulped. "Xander-baka! You pervert! You're no better than Happosai! You're no better than Ryoga! Bastard!" Akane pulled her fist back to throw a punch. At the moment she was twisted around, and with a surprised look on her face, got devastating punch to the right side of her chin. She was launched backward a few meters, and crashed to the ground, where she stayed put seeing stars.

"No hurt my boyfriend, bitch!" Lotion stated, pointing angrily down at her. Xander and Ranma relaxed, and looked at the downed Akane.

Ranma then turned to Xander and said, "Did I mention I'm glad you're here? Oh, and can we exchange our Amazons?"

"Sorry," Xander said with a grin.

"Nuts."

"Xander," Lotion said, switching to English. "Shall we go see Tokyo tonight, as we were so rudely interrupted yesterday? At night, we can make it a romantic date."

"Ah, well, you see . . ." Xander said, feeling a little guilty and remembering what tonight had in store for him. "I have some prior plans tonight, and . . ."

"Like what?" Ranma interrupted Xander. "Not with me. I remember friends out."

"Not with Ranma?" Lotion asked with a hurt face.

"Nabiki, actually," Xander said, scratching his head, and feeling himself get hot under the pressure.

"Nabiki?" Ranma asked still in his broken English. "What you want with Ms. Money."

"Yes, what do you want with Ms. Money?" Lotion asked, looking hurt.

"Uh . . ." Xander started. How to get out of this? He wasn't doing anything wrong, but he'd also knew it would hurt Lotion's feelings, and he didn't really want that. "Well, she's made an offer I can't refuse. Fifty-fifty." One-hundred percent true, totally false.

Ranma shook his head. "Americans," he said, misunderstanding as intended.

Lotion looked at Xander disappointed. "We'll go to Tokyo together tomorrow, all afternoon and night long. Ranma will give us a tour during the day, and at night, it's just us. What do you say?" Lotion perked up, and then Akane groaned, coming back to the land of the wakeful slowly.

-----

That evening, after dinner, Xander had gone out, walking to the place Nabiki had chosen for their tryst. As he walked through the Nerima night, and took in the moon, and the houses along the path, he was in good spirits . . . mostly. He was rather annoyed with Lotion. This vacation would have been so much more relaxing if he didn't have to deal with all that baggage.

Then he stopped. He frowned, and looked back. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. A street, a pavement, fences, some trash cans and a box. He was about to turn back forward, but instead turned fully around with a frown. Then his frown turned into an angry look, and he stopped forward. With swift kick the cardboard box was sent flying . . . revealing Sasuke. The little ninja with a rag wrapped around his head, looked up a Xander fearfully. "You!" Xander hissed.

Sasuke swallowed, and said, "Master Kuno Tatewaki asks . . ."

"THEN ASK!" Xander yelled, kicking again, this time sending the pathetic ninja servant flying high through the air. "DON'T SPY!"

"AAAaaahhh . . ." And Sasuke was gone.

"God damned bastard!" Xander snarled, and then took a deep breath. "Calm down," he told himself, turning back around. "You're about to take a girl's virginity, can't be angry . . . and stop talking to yourself." Then stepped onward, taking deep breaths.

After several more minutes of walking, a guy stepped in front of Xander's path, a guy in black trousers, and a blue robe. "I am Kuno Tatewaki, Furinkan High's Blue Thunder master swordsman. I have a question for thee," he spoke, moving his hand through his hair.

Xander's left eye twitched; first the flunky, now the . . . flunky. "_/What/_ do you want?" Xander asked, grumbling, deciding to humor the guy to hopefully get rid of him as soon as possible.

"I request word of my beautiful, beloved, golden angel Buffy Summers. Please tell me she is alright," Kuno spoke with a cultured voice.

Xander had his fists balled, extremely angry now. "She's not your beloved, golden Angel," Xander all but growled out. "All you managed to do is piss her off by molesting her! But other than that, she's _/fine/_, and you can forget about her, you . . . you . . . ah!"

"Ah, yes, well . . . I have this letter, in which I explain myself and declare my eternal love for the golden angel. Would you please deliver it to her?" Kuno asked, holding out an envelope.

"NO!" Xander yelled as he threw a perfectly connecting uppercut. Kuno was launched away, into the air, and Xander added, "Use the postal service! That's what they're there for!"

With a painful crash Tatewaki smashed to the ground, and he groaned, "Don't know her address."

Xander walked passed, and told him, "Good." He walked onward, grumbling to himself, "Asswipe. Dipshit! Bastard! Perverts, I oughta- calm down. Virginity, remember? Nabiki doesn't need you to be all aggressive and crap because that perverted, nutcase, assho- stop it! Cool. Calm breaths." Xander whirled around, and yelled, "MENTION BUFFY AGAIN, AND I'LL PUT YOU IN A HOSPITAL, PERVERTED BASTARD!"

Xander turned around once again, and continued walked. "Ah, that's better."

-----

Xander arrived at the motel, and looked at Nabiki standing in front of the cashier booth, twirling the keys. She was smiling, and Xander was surprised. The girl was dressed in a short skirt and tight top, looking mighty appetizing. "You owe me half for the room; 20,000 Yen," Nabiki said with a smile, as she walked over to him seductively.

"Let's get to the room before I start flashing money around," Xander said with a light smirk, taking in the number of the now still keys.

"Ooh, you do know how to turn a girl on," Nabiki returned with her own smile.

Xander chuckled, and she let him to the room close by. She opened the door and they entered. After it was locked and the lights switched on, Xander took in the small room. It could barely contain the bed; which was damn small . . . Xander guessed it was small for Japanese standards, for him . . . his feet were probably going to stick out. Xander gently pulled Nabiki closer to him, wrapping his arms around her waist to the small of her back. He guessed gently at first, then quickly ferocious, which she returned holding the back of his head.

"So," he said after they broke the kiss, "did you have anything special in mind? A way to do this that's best for you? A fantasy? It's your virginity."

Nabiki's eyes sparkled, and then whispered in his ear, "I was thinking I let you take charge; let you take it. You're experienced, I'm a little nervous."

"All right," Xander said, a little nervous himself; that was a big responsibility. He gently pushed her down on the bed, and kissed her neck, then down her collar bone. He found she returned the kisses; to his jawbone. Slowly they stripped each other of the clothing, and he took the time to place a pack of condoms on the nightstand. Xander fondled her breasts, and gently kissed, and sucked on them. Nabiki moaned, encouraging Xander to continue, feeling his nervousness slip. When her nipples were hard, he dipped down, kissing lower on her stomach.

When he reached her navel, he stubbed his toe hard. "Ow," he said, and looked back, struggling with his lower legs, feet, and the raised edge of the bed. Finally having found a comfortable position, he looked back up, and looked in Nabiki's expectant and slightly nervous and concerned eyes. He smiled, and said, "Next time, find a place with a longer bed."

Nabiki chuckled, and then laughed a bit. Amazingly she felt her nervousness slip, but her arousal grow. "I'll keep it in mind," she said, holding her forehead while thinking over and chuckling at the situation. Then thoughts fled her mind, and laughter ceased. "Oh, oh, my god," she moaned and grunted, as Xander's tongue had found her clit without warning, and stimulated her. Just as quickly as it was there, having gotten her attention, he fled from the spot, and kissed and licked her outer lips. They filled with blood, as Nabiki moaned her pleasure. Her hands found his head and hair, and Xander smiled, finding her inner lips. He licked and sucked, the earlier humor having tossed aside his nervousness, now the practice with Willow, and to a lesser degree himself, or rather herself, could take over his actions. "By all the kamis!" she breathed out, as Xander's tongue and lips touched places only her fingers had ever managed touch. "Oh, uh!"

Xander grinned as she felt her riding his face and tongue, her hands desperately holding on to him as she stimulated her vagina. The taste of the quickly increasing vaginal juices was turning him on rapidly as well, feeling his already present erection demanding attention. He ignored, and focused on the delicious pussy he was eating out. "Oh, Xander, that's . . . oh, my, don't stop!" Nabiki moaned, riding harder, and Xander suddenly switched to her clit, licking it with the tip of his tongue rapidly, quickly switching directions, putting pressure on it, but not to much. Instantly Nabiki exploded, pushing her crotch up against Xander, screaming and moaning names of gods and Xander as equals. Her climax pulled through her body, starting at her toes all the way up to her mind, shivering, and rigid. When the pleasure subsided somewhat she fell down, amazed, still feeling the pleasure in the lingering afterglow.

Xander grinned, having gotten her there. He wasted no time. Reaching over he got a condom, and put it on. Nabiki looked dreamily at him, at his muscles, his chest and handsome face, still enraptured by her orgasm. Xander took her by the waist, and powerfully, and smoothly, guided his throbbing gently erection into her, deeply. "Ugh!" Nabiki exclaimed, as she felt her hymen rip, but then Xander was already passed that. The walls of her vagina were pushed aside smoothly, wrapping around Xander's cock. The sensation of being stuffed full warred with the sharp pain, and then Xander was inside, and stayed there. Before she could do anything else, he gave her a deep, passionate kiss.

"Take your time, get used to it," Xander whispered soothingly, exploring her body with his hands, massaging it in the process.

Nabiki's own hands ran almost involuntarily over his, feeling his muscles, and knowing she had made the right choice. She closed her eyes and went to relax, feeling him against her, feeling safe. Her vagina felt full, painfully extended and stretched, but the joy of him on her, and in her overrode it, quickly making her forget about the quick and sudden pain of breaching her hymen. "This . . ." Nabiki started uncertain.

"Yes?" Xander asked gently.

She opened her eyes, and said, "Is good. Feels good. You're good. Fast though."

"Rapid removal of band aid approach," Xander murmured and kissed her, then placed kisses on her upper chest, while he brought up one hand to fondle her breasts. "Time to try movement?" he asked her.

"Yes," she answered without thinking, "yes, please. Ooh!" Feeling him withdraw, made her surprisingly empty, even as her tightly wrapped inner muscles got heavenly simulated. Then gently Xander pushed back inside, and Nabiki moaned. "Faster," she breathed out, "faster."

Not soon after, moans and yells of pleasure from two people could be heard coming from the room, as well as a powerful climax. Nabiki was happy.

-----

**The Next Day**

Ryoga slumped to a standstill. He wiped the sweat from his brow. Finally he was far, far away. He had walked all night. "Ryoga!"

Ryoga jerked his head to his right, looking through the gate there, and seeing Akane standing just beyond. His eyes widened, and he looked up again. 'Tendo Dojo.'

"No! Not again!" he yelled in horror. Of course, just then, it had to start raining, and a moment later only a piglet remained of Ryoga. It squeaked in horror and planned to start running away from the girl he had wronged, as Xander and Ranma appeared from the left of the gate to watch him; both sweaty with training exertion, and both very female now that the raining had fallen.

"Ryoga!" Akane called sternly, and quickly walked over, picking up the pig by his neck before it could get away. "You're not leaving over this," Akane said, getting Ryoga's clothes with her other, and started walking toward the house. Ranma and Xander followed her with their heads; a little nervous. Granted, the pig - the man, not what he turned into - deserved a good punishment, but being chopped up and cooked was too harsh. "I forgive you, that was an impressive letter," Akane stated, putting the pig under her arm, "you don't have to go."

"YOU WHAT?" Ranma exclaimed in shock.

"Don't you start, Ranma-baka!" Akane snarled at Ranma, and then continued to move onward. "Or I'll beat you up again."

Ranma and Lexa looked with dropped jaws as Akane disappeared into the house. Then they looked at each other. "_/I'm/_ the one she's still pissed at?" GirlRanma asked in total dumbfoundment.

Lexa shook her head to clear it, then groaned. "I'm a girl half the time, hell, I'm one now," she started, shaking her head in confusion, "but I'll never understand them, ever."

"You said it, Xand, you said it," Ranma added with annoyance.

To Be Continued . . .


	4. Part 4: Okonomiyaki of Love! Okonomiyaki

----Part 4: Okonomiyaki of Love! Okonomiyaki of Doom!---- 

The Tendo dojo shook with the might battle going on. The two Amazons that were opposing each other would shred any lesser being to shreds if they'd found themselves in the middle. Lotion's fist connected solidly with Shampoo's chin, and the purple-haired girl staggered back. She immediately went into a leg swipe, but Lotion jumped over it. Her swiping foot to its starting position, Shampoo launched herself forward, slamming her elbow in Lotion's stomach. The brunette grunted with the pain, landed and took a step back, immediately blocking and parrying several of Shampoo's punches.

The audience was enraptured. The Tendo family and their three guests, as well as Mousse, and several of the Tendo Dojo paying students. The match, battle really, had been raging for ten minutes, almost equal. But to the trained viewer, they would notice that Lotion was just a little stronger than Shampoo; a little faster, a little more versatility. Even with the last weeks heavy training, the year of lounging about and losing battle rhythm had cost Shampoo just too much, unlike Lotion who never once quit. Both Amazons had bloody faces, their clothes were ripped, and they were breathing heavily.

Shampoo charged forward, "Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire!" Her hands were blurs, but Lotion exclaimed the same thing and her hands turned to blurs as well, thus parrying and blocking all of Shampoo's blows. The moment the technique finished, their hands slowed once again, and Lotion parried Shampoo's following punches, pushing her hands aside, and slamming both of hers into Shampoo's stomach. Shampoo staggered backward, groaning and moaning with the impact.

"Yaah!" Lotion exclaimed as she made a mighty follow up left to Shampoo's face. The purple-haired Amazon though managed to duck and slam her own fist in Lotion's side with a vicious grimace. Lotion groaned and staggered back.

"Bitch, go down!" Shampoo stated with conviction and kicked Lotion to the side of her face. Shampoo didn't let up, and added a left of her own, but Lotion had recovered and parried the punch. Lotion threw her own right to Shampoo's abdomen, but she blocked it. Lotion in turned blocked Shampoo's knee, and then her two punches, so she could land her right on Shampoo's face. It phased the purple-haired Amazon, but no enough, and so the two went head to head in another even trading of blows and kicks that were either parried or blocked.

Lotion let a punch to her stomach pass deliberately and bent over deeply, partially of pain, partially acted. Shampoo raised two hands into a double-handed blow, and brought them down mightily. As unexpected as Lotion planned it, she shot up and blocked the blow, so that she could kick out powerfully into Shampoo's stomach. "Aargh!" Shampoo screamed with the unexpected and powerful impact. She flew backward and landed on her back.

Lotion breathed heavily, and wiped some blood from her lips. When Shampoo had demonstrated the Chestnuts before their match began, Lotion had fallen for the psychological warfare. She had assumed her newfound superior strength and skill to the other one had removed, and Shampoo was already once again clearly the best. However, when Xander had come along to watch the match, and gave her nod, she had gotten fueled with a quickly restored self-esteem as well as a determination not to fail her boyfriend - for after all, with that nod, he had told her she could still beat Shampoo and expected her to do so. But more than not failing and impressing her boyfriend, was Shampoo. Lotion was _/not/_ going to lose to her again, not today at least, and never so long unbroken and totally superior ever again. Shampoo was going down.

Ever since this fight started, Lotion knew she didn't have to worry about the outcome; although the two of them were all but equal, that butt was hers, steadily she was wearing the still struggling got get up Shampoo down. There was just one problem; this had gone on long enough, she was hurt enough, and Shampoo seemed even more determined not to lose, than Lotion was to win; and with that almost equal, and equally trained, this was going to take a long time. Lotion was looking forward to kicking Shampoo's ass, but not to get her own ass kicked in the process; she needed a way to down Shampoo quickly; but how if they were so equal?

She flickered her eyes to Xander for a moment, her heart beating in her chest both of exhaustion and the love for him. Her body ached, and then she figured it out. Like Xander and Ranma too, she had stop fighting like an Amazon, always the same. She had to change, do the totally unexpected. Shampoo was back up, and normally this would be where Lotion would have slowed down to catch her breath, as Shampoo was doing. So she would do the exact opposite.

"YAAAAAHH!" she screamed, as she charged the other Amazon. Her right fist charged forward, and as expected Shampoo easily dodge the long announced punch. Shampoo came with her own punch to Lotion's gut; as expected. Lotion twisted rapidly, just in time to block the right punch with her left. She continued with the twisted, making a 180 degree turn from when she started her charge. Shampoo's left cross came, and Lotion flipped back, making the punch fly over her. She landed on her hands and moved her feet sharply up. Shampoo avoided it by bending back, which allowed Lotion to finish the flip. The moment she landed on her feet, she took one stepped forward, and jumped up high, directly to the ceiling, then flipping around to land against it with her feet.

"Huh? Where go?" Shampoo said, looking left and right as she was righted once more; Lotion having timed her jump perfectly, not to be seen. The brunette Amazon pushed off powerful from the ceiling in a single smooth motion with landing against it, and flipped back around. Shampoo had turned around, and only then noticed; much too late. With a powerful yell and double kick, one to Shampoo's collar bone, and one to her chin, she was launched backward off her feet. She groaned, then groaned again as she slammed against the wall, and then grunted as she fell down to the floor face fist with a thud; unconscious.

Lotion nodded with satisfaction, bent over, holding her most painful places, and breathing heavily. The audience was stunned, except Ranma and Xander that was. The present Tendo's paying students were dumbfounded the most; if that was something that could be done, they were far, far, far from able to do it. Akane grumbled, knowing she wasn't anywhere near the Amazons' level now, and questioned whether she should go there, or just stick with what she was doing.

Ranma and Xander were the first who started clapping, and quickly the rest of the audience followed, many still dumbfounded. That was, except one: Mousse. He stayed silent, and then raised his arms to shoot out his weapons, exclaimed, "You hurt my beautiful Shampoo."

Ranma standing next to him, slammed his elbow in Mousse's gut, doubling over. "That was a fair match, _#asswipe#_!" he exclaimed, and sent the boy flying away a few meters with an uppercut, landing unconscious on the Tendo Dojo floor.

"All right, Ranma, first proper use of an American abusive term!" Xander said with a big grin, raising his hand. "High five." Humoring the American, and secretly enjoying it, Ranma gave Xander the double handed high five. "Low five," Xander said and Ranma brought his hands down. "Too slow," Xander said as he pulled them aside. Ranma looked shocked, and then extremely annoyed while the audience looked at their ridiculous exchange. Seeing Ranma's dirty look Xander laughed out loud, holding his stomach, "Man, I've always wanted to do that!"

"You're asking for a beating, Xan," Ranma told him, obviously pissed off.

Xander chuckled, a bright grin on his face and walked over to Lotion, while Tendo went over to Shampoo. "You okay, Lotion?" Xander asked gently.

Getting her breathing back under control, Lotion nodded, and said, "Xander, now that I'm stronger than Shampoo, I want to stay that way. You and I have to keep training, heavily."

"Of course; wouldn't want it any other way," Xander said with a grin. "You and Buffy are my best sparring partners after all."

-----

Kuonji Ukyo, one of Ranma's oldest friends and love interest, was walking along the many shops of Tokyo. She was looking for ingredients. She was going to make a whole new flavor of okonomiyaki, in fact, if she was truly successful, it might not even be called okonomiyaki. For that she was scouring the shops for new, or exotic ingredients. In her mind, she was already letting Ranma taste her masterpiece. 'Oh, Ukyo! The way to a man's love is through his stomach; and you opened a route I didn't even knew existed! What deliciousness!' Walking along with a light blush on her face as she was imagining Ranma kissing her, fondling her, and well, what do healthy, hormonal teenagers think about?

She paused. Then turned to her right to look at the antique-looking shop. She had caught it in the corner of her eye. She blinked. Did she really see that right? She walked over, closer to the quaint shop and looked at a few of the vials on display. One proudly proclaimed, 'Love Potion #9'.

For a moment Ukyo hesitated; it seemed so impossible and corny. _-Then again,-_ her mind supplied, _-Ranma turns into a girl by a splash of water. So, who knows?-_ Thus having decided, she stepped into the shop, and looked around. It was filled with all kinds of things; feathers, pottery, more vials, both empty and filled with potions, roots . . . and one rack of toy guns. Ukyo shook her head at that, and realized she had just stepped into a shop that had just about anything of the occult, or obscure. The place was narrow, and the middle isle could hold no more than three people next to each other. There was a counter, and an old man stood behind it.

"Uhm, hello," she asked, a little nervously - she had stepped in here for a love potion.

"At your service, my dear," the man behind the counter replied friendly.

"I was wondering . . ." Ukyo started and pointed with her thumb over her shoulder, "about the love potion? If that's number nine, how many are there?"

"Thirteen, of course, although we don't carry them all at this time," the man answered with a casual air of confidence.

". . . why of course?" Ukyo asked a little nervous.

"Lucky number thirteen, love is all about luck, after all," the man said with a mysterious smile, eyes twinkling.

"Okay, I was - am - interested in a love potion," Ukyo told the main, feeling like a gullible dork, but there was no denying magic existed, so . . .

"What do you want to use it for?" the man asked, smiling that playful smile of his.

Ukyo frowned in confusion, and asked, "What do you mean?"

"Why do you think there are different love potions? Each has its own function," the man spoke with a smile. He walked from behind the counter and over to a large rack. He pulled a vial from it, carrying the same label she saw earlier, 'Love Potion #9'. "Number nine for example, is really a perfume, and it's pheromone based. As such, it's less a love potion, as it is a lust inducer. If you are interested in a quick romp in bed for a night, number nine is your poison."

"Oh," Ukyo said, thinking.

"Then the question is, what do you need a love potion for?" the salesman asked her, eyes twinkling.

Ukyo was undecided. On the one hand, it wasn't good what she was thinking of, on the other, she was so in love with him, and she was reasonably certain Ranma had at least a passing attraction to her . . . That was it! Ukyo straightened, and said, "I don't want a fake love. The one I'm interested in . . . he's got multiple suitors, and he has some attraction to me. I just want something that temporarily, a month or so, boosts his attraction to me in a near love, and doesn't notice the others. Put blinders on him so to speak, give me enough time to show myself, so he can truly fall in love with me."

"Ah, a wise one in my midst," the old man nodded with a proud smile. "Not many realize the folly of a love potion; the violation of the mind and heart, love that is not, that is a lie. Number 5 is what you need." The old man placed Number 9 back in the closet, and then carefully retrieved another vial, holding the words, 'Love Potion #5'.

The man then walked back to the other side of the counter, with Ukyo's gaze - a mixture of curiosity, apprehension, and wonder - following him. He set the bottle down, with its etiquette towards Ukyo. "Now, this is both the weakest, and the strongest love potion," the man explained carefully, making Ukyo frown in confusion. "And you should pay close attention to what I have to say." Ukyo nodded. "The problem with taking a potential true love, is that it is the most powerful love. If your target has none, this simply causes a standard attraction, a little crush, if you will, but should your target have much, the results will be that much greater. In the proper dose, it lasts two months, and the effect is mild, just like you wanted: put on some blinders. Too much however will boost even minimum attractions to very high levels, and gives love to those who have none. The potion works so, that it will have the effect with the first person the target sees; the first person that is of the proper gender to be exact. Should he see someone else, it is her that he'll be chasing, unless he's secretly gay, than it's the first male he'll get a thing for."

"I can mix this through food?" Ukyo asked, now a more than a little excited.

"Yes," the salesman answered, and pulled out a small paper with text printed on it. "Here it says the dosages per volume of food, type of food, and size of the target."

"How much?" Ukyo asked, and the old man smiled brightly.

-----

Xander, Ranma, and Akane were walking casually along the pavement. The street was busy with people, even at this early hour. Akane was obviously excited. "This is so great," she said happily. "We're going shopping together. I can't believe it." Secretly she was thinking boyfriends and girlfriends did that; meaning Ranma and her, and Xander and Lotion, who was going to meet them there. The motel her and her mother were staying in was much closer to the shops, and so Lotion had decided not to walk all the way to the Tendo dojo first, especially since she was still aching from her big fight with Shampoo.

Ranma looked down, scowling, wondering how in blazes he had gotten roped into this horror. Xander, much more used to girls and playing pack mule for them, was both in a worse mood and a better mood all at the same time. On the one hand, he knew what to expect, on the other, he was used to it. He just hoped Lotion wasn't as bad as Buffy, and Cordelia, and Willow these days too he supposed - nah, Willow was still in the land of the sane - and actually bothered with keeping the number of boxes down, as well as pick something so perhaps he could go souvenir hunting; including some returning-home gifts for Buffy and Willow, and some smaller tokens of affection for Cordelia, Oz, Joyce, Giles, and Jenny. He wondered if they like the cards he sent.

_-Oh, yeah!-_ Now Ranma remembered. '_I need to buy some souvenirs for myself, and some gifts for my friends, and family. You can help me out, Ranma.'_ Baka, Xander! He had agreed, and from there things had gone down hill fast. First Lotion joined, and then that uncute tomboy, Akane, had to join too. Right now he wished he had never met Xan-

". . . and then we can hit the Caretta Siodome, and . . ." Akane happily rambled on, completely missing both boys having stopped. Xander and Ranma smelled the air, and smiles appeared on their faces. They turned to their right, and it was indeed the place their internal sense of space said they would see: Okonomiyaki Ucchan's. Their sense of smell was attacked in the most unfair and pleasant of means. Ranma, knowing all of Ukyo's okonomiyaki, knew she was trying out a new recipe, and from the smell it was going to be a hit: a _/huge/_ hit, it smelled like the nectar of the gods! ". . . or perhaps instead we should go to- . . ." Akane blinked, finally realizing her entourage was no longer present. She looked left and right, and indeed as her other senses had told her, no more Ranma and Xander.

She turned around, a little confused, and curious as to what had happened. She couldn't have missed one of Ranma's, and now apparently Xander's rivals attacking the two, could she? Nope. There they were, standing there . . . drooling? Then she realized what they were standing in front of. Those! Those!

"But first, food!" Ranma stated rapidly, already stepping toward the entrance.

"Yep, can't go shopping on an empty stomach," Xander confirmed, and without a further thought they entered the okonomiyaki restaurant.

Akane remained outside for a short while longer, looking shocked at the places Xander and Ranma had just stood. They'd had breakfast! They didn't have an empty stomach! Then her fists clenched, and she growled lowly, anger rising by the moment, "Those baka! Idiots! Sons of bitches! They ruined it!" Then she stomped in after them.

"Welcome to Okonomiyaki Ucchan's! Ranma!" Ukyo greeted with a big smile. "And Xander," she said with a little less enthusiasm.

"Ucchan!" Ranma said happily, as he and his friend walked over to the counter. "What smells so nice?"

"A new recipe I'm trying out!" Ukyo returned with a big smile, noticing a steamed Akane coming in after the boys. "If it tastes as good as I expect and smell it will, I'll call it, Okonomiyaki of Love! Want to be the first try it?" Secretly she thought, _-And this first one I'm baking now, I will make an extra special one, you're right on time.-_

"Oh, yes!" Xander and Ranma said in unison, happily nodding, and smelling the air.

"Good!" Ukyo said, and whistling she turned around to her baking plates. She opened a cabinet, and pulled out Love Potion #5. Looking down at the Japanese pizza she was baking, she dropped a few drops of the potion on it. She hesitated a moment. She had read the dosages, the warnings, and remembered the warning of the old man; but she was a master chef, she understood food and ingredients, and some of what she used wasn't on the sheet. Thus, she poured some extra potion; it was just a bit, only a fraction of the total dose really. This should make sure it worked, but not enough to produce the annoying super boosted effects. She smiled at her creation, carefully putting the potion away. This was going to be it. Ranma would fall for her, she'd have time to impress him properly, and once the potion wore off, they'd be in love for real. Ranma would be hers, and she would be his!

Then a shrill voice interrupted the happy thought. "I can't believe you two! Lotion is waiting, we're going to be late, and we won't have the time to properly go everywhere!" Akane shrieked in anger, articulating all valid reasons, but as usual, not voicing the real reason she was upset. Ranma had chosen Ukyo and her cooking above her - again!

Ukyo turned around annoyed, and took in the scene, the short-haired girl barking her accusations upon Ranma and Xander from the left. The two boys were obviously annoyed. After a sigh, it was Xander that spoke up, "Akane, you need to calm down. We're just getting a bit too eat. A little something for the road. We'll be done in no time, and we're early anyway, If we're going to turn up late, it'll be so little Lotion won't even notice it."

"YOU'VE ALREADY HAD BREAKFAST!" Akane shouted in anger, "You don't need to eat anything more."

Ranma turned his head to his right, and said dryly, "You are so uncute." Akane's anger became worse, just about ready to steam, her hands clenched in fists.

This was potentially bad, Ukyo realized. Akane was pretty close, it was the first person Ranma would see that he would fall for. She decided to remedy that, "Ranma's right, let the boys have an extra breakfast. With the way they eat, they'll be done in no time." Ranma and Xander blushed a little at that.

"YOU STAY OUT OF IT, YOU CONNIVING BITCH!" Akane screamed enraged, readying to hack back into the boys.

Ukyo added unperturbed, "If you were cute, you'd plant yourself next to them, and enjoy one for yourself. But no, just barking about around like an untrained dog."

"AAARGH! You're all a bunch of barbarians!" Akane screamed enraged, but also realized there wasn't much to be done. Still steamed, and bursting to explode, she turned around, and angrily stalked away to one of the tables; undecided whether to step outside completely or not.

Satisfied that Akane was far enough out of the picture, Ukyo turned around, and took the now finished okonomiyaki off the baking plate, and placed it on a serving one. "Here it is, Ranma," Ukyo said with a triumphant grin - a new delicious creation _/and/_ Ranma to be hers at the same time. "Savor it, it'll be delicious," Ukyo said, placing the plate with the okonomiyaki in front of Ranma, smiling broadly. She cut it in several slices with a circular knife, and said, "Dig in. Yours is coming up, Xander." Ukyo turned around, and happily went to prepare the second okonomiyaki, secure in the knowledge that Ranma would eat her creation and be looking at her at the same time.

Ranma salivated at the sight, and took a slice, then watched with wide eyes as Xander's hand came in the picture and took a slice for himself. "You can have one of mine later," Xander told Ranma with a grin, who then smiled back. Ukyo, whistling a jaunty tune, and focused on the baking, while preoccupied by fantasies of her and Ranma's wedding . . . and wedding night. Xander wasted no time, and took a large bite. Chewing he looked forward, at Ukyo's back, enjoying the sight. He swallowed, as Ranma shook his head, and prepared to take a bit of his own.

Meanwhile, Akane's anger had only been growing; like a caged animal, unable to release her frustrations, she had been pacing back and forth. Finally she saw a vase on the tables, one with a flower - a real flower and water . . . cold water. Fuming, knowing how much Ranma hated being a girl, she picked up the vase, and walked back to the front, then threw the water. "Ranma-baka!" she screamed.

Too bad for Akane, Ranma had gotten used to being sprayed by her as retaliation, and having half expected it, along with the vocal warning, his reflexes kicked in, and he jumped off the stool to his right, stumbling half over the stool there. Missing Ranma, the water instead splashed on Xander, mesmerized by the girl in front of him. "Hey!" he started to yell, and Lexa finished it, jumping up with surprise and dumping the okonomiyaki. "What the hell?" Lexa said, her sexy body straining in the tight blouse, while her pants were now a little loose.

For a moment Akane wanted to apologize to Lexa, the girl she didn't intend to hit, but then remembered he was just as bad. Akane focused on Ranma, and walked over. "Food and girls! Food and girls!" Akane screamed in annoyance, now really attracting Ukyo's attention. The cook looked on, frozen in horror at the train wreck about to happen. Lexa herself, looked at Akane and Ranma, chewing onward on her second bite. "That's all you boys can think about!" Akane snarled, and snatched Ranma's slice away from him. She held the slice up, snarling at him, "SEE! You're not getting this one!"

Akane brought the slice to her mouth, and took a bite. "No! Akane! Don't!" Ukyo yelled in horror, drawing the other girl's attention to her, but Akane just glared at Ukyo and continued eating.

Lexa swallowed her bite, as Ranma sighed, and muttered, "Akane, you are _/so/_ uncute!" Lexa frowned at Ranma, and got up off her stool, while Ukyo could only wonder what would happen now. Lexa walked over, pushing Akane aside, and looking at Ranma with widening eyes, a smile forming.

"Hey! You bastard!" Akane snarled, and stuffed the remainder of the slice in her mouth. Chewing angrily, she walked over, intending to smash the vase on Lexa's head. Instead the martial arts mistress just swatted the vase up and away, crashing through the flimsy ceiling. Surprisingly there was a yell, and a small guy came falling from the place, smashing on Akane and the two went down.

"Ranma," Lexa said, with just a hint of a purr as she took Ranma in top to bottom.

"What?" the other martial artist said, but focused on Akane and now obviously Sasuke. What the hell was that stupid ninja doing here now?

"Mmh, why didn't I see it sooner. I must have been hit too hard on the head," Lexa said, and gently licked her lips.

Ranma did a double take, and focused on his best friend. "What?" he repeated, with more force and focus now, frowning in confusion.

"Ranma, you and I are meant for each other, rrarr," Lexa said, the lust and love now extremely obvious. A moment later she pinned Ranma to the wall behind him, and planted her lips hungrily on Ranma's, kissing him, her tongue against his. Ranma's eyes were wide, shocked, horrified!

Then his arms grabbed Lexa's and he pushed her aside, and he said in horror, "Have you lost your mind? You're a guy!"

"Oh, no, all woman here, hot stuff," Lexa said, taking a step forward, swaying her hips, and running her hands along her very feminine curves, "and I just found it." She pushed Ranma back to the wall, pressing her body hungrily against his.

"AAAH!" Ranma screamed, pushing back, and Lexa's kissing lips away from his face. This time Lexa wasn't so easily deterred, and Ranma yelled, "Stop it, you freak!"

"Don't fight it, Ranma. The way we met, this was destiny, handsome," Lexa said, positively breathing heavily with arousal. "You and me were made for each other. Now, kiss me, baby, you know you want to."

"I DON'T! YOU'RE NUTS!" Ranma screamed terrified, not quite ready to start kicking ass yet.

Ukyo was looking in shock. On the ground Akane purred, "Oh, Sasuke!" Then she dipped down and kissed the little ninja hungrily. Sasuke looked frightened, shaking his hands, expecting to get his ass kicked as usual, and then . . . this wasn't so bad. With a secret grin he kissed the hot girl back - not bad at all.

"Xander! Get off, or I swear I'll put you in a hospital! HELP! I'm being assaulted! Get him off of me!" Ranma screamed in horror.

Ukyo then realized what happened. The slight overdose! "Oh, no!" Ukyo muttered; it seemed the overdose effects were even worse than she had figured from the warning.

"Ukyo! Please, get this bastard off me! Xander, this is your last damn warning. AAAAAHHH!"

"Don't be afraid, my handsome. My god, I love you!" Lexa said with a purr.

'_. . . right gender . . .'_ Ukyo remembered the salesmen say. Ukyo's eyes widened and she quickly grabbed a glass, and filled it with the always present hot dish-washing water. Rapidly she went over the struggling Ranma, who was still screaming, while Lexa was trying to kiss him. She quickly splashed it on Lexa, and a moment later there was Xander.

"Oh, Ra- . . . ugh," Xander said, shaking his head to clear it. He wobbled and took a step back, as two types of magic clashed inside him. "Ranma? What the . . .? Why was I- . . ."

Ranma had his fist balled, ready to slam in Lexa or Xander's face, but hesitated now at the weird turn of events. "Xander?" he asked with suspicion.

"What just happened? Why the hell was I kissing you and thinking . . ." Xander looked suitably horrified. He was bisexual, indeed, but this was his best male friend, the guy who had taught him he wasn't a useless smuck. He loved the guy, but _/not/_ like that. The concept was just wrong.

There was a sob, and Ukyo whimpered, "I'm sorry."

Xander and Ranma looked over, still confused, as on the floor Sasuke, unlike Ranma, was enjoying his assault. Xander's eyes widened as he looked at Ukyo, and then smiled. "Ukyo . . ." he breathed out, and took several steps forward, looking the girl over. "My god, are you beautiful."

Ukyo's whimpers were gone, replaced with a comical look of shock! This nightmare was getting worse by the moment. Xander stepped forward, and to Ranma's mounting confusion, kissed his childhood friend with a vigorous passion.

"Oh, Sasuke!" Akane moaned, drawing Ranma's attention, while Xander couldn't be beaten off of Ukyo.

"Sasuke!" Ranma growled, certain the guy or his employer must have something to do with this. Ranma stalked forward, but suddenly found an angry Akane standing in front of him, holding Sasuke to her bosom.

"Don't you dare, Ranma! You could have had me! Now it's too late, I found the man of my dreams!" Akane stated, and resumed kissing him.

"AAAH!" Ranma exclaimed in horror, "This is so wrong . . . I-"

"Xander!" Ranma looked up, as did Xander and Ukyo. Lotion stood in the doorway, her face between anger and pain. She walked forward, passed the other loving couple, and Ranma looked from Lotion to Xander and Ukyo.

"Oh, boy," she muttered, as Ukyo felt a whole new set of anguish, seeing the pain in her fellow girl's eyes.

"Xander, how- how could you?" Lotion said, gesturing to him and Ukyo. "I-I can't do this. Competing with those rightful two, okay - but every other girl in the world?"

"Nothing too compete, Lotion, look at her, my decision is made," Xander said, hotly, hugging Ukyo close. "Ukyo will be my wife and mother of my children."

Lotion's world crumbled apart; her honor gone, worse: her love gone. "Wait!" Ukyo said in horror, knowing what that felt like. "Lotion, this isn't what it-"

"Bitch!" Lotion screamed in anger.

"No, let me-!" Ukyo tried again, but Lotion grabbed the plate with the Okonomiyaki of Love, and angrily tossed it in Xander and Ukyo's general direction, but much too high. It splintered against the wall, and the okonomiyaki slowly slid down along it. Before that though, Lotion had already turned around, and crying ran out of the shop.

Ranma looked around at the nightmare, and what Ukyo had been attempting to say earlier and just now with Lotion. Realizing his earlier assumption that Sasuke was the culprit was wrong, he turned to Ukyo and said with disappointment, "Ukyo, what did you do?"

"I'm sorry," Ukyo whimpered, accepting Xander's hugging and kisses - she was at fault, and if she had to be uncomfortable so Ranma's best friend wouldn't be trying to marry him, that was fine. "I found a love potion. It was supposed to put some blinders on you, focus on me, give me time to show you how good I am, and that you would fall in love with me for real . . . I used more than the prescribed dose."

"Ukyo!" Ranma said angrily, making Ukyo shrink a little. "Please, tell me this isn't permanent."

"Two months," Ukyo answered, while Xander nuzzled her neck - and damn it, he was good at that!

"TWO MONTHS?" Ranma raged in shock, making Ukyo look very apologetic. "Two months! Xander is supposed to be back in Sunnydale long before that!"

"Screw Sunnydale, if my beautiful Ukyo wishes to stay here, so shall I," Xander said, and looked at the whimpering girl. "Don't worry, my sweet, I will make it all better."

"_/Not/helping/Xander,"_ Ranma hissed uselessly. "All right, we have to find an antidote, I can't let my best bud stay like that."

"I think we'll be going now," Sasuke said, and gestured for Akane to follow her. The girl smiled, nodded and started to leave.

"**-Oh, no, you don't,-"** Ranma said with deadly authority, rapidly moving over and picking up the little ninja.

"Ranma! Don't hurt my beloved!" Akane screamed in sudden anger.

"Don't worry, I won't . . ." Ranma told her rapidly, while walking forward and placing Sasuke painfully against the wall. ". . . yet," he finished with a dangerous hiss. The ninja swallowed as Ranma placed his head close to Sasuke and whispered with wide, angry eyes bordering on madness, "You're going to get Akane to come with us, and get her to drink that antidote, or I will hurt you. Real hurt, not a simple punch, I mean recover-in-a-hospital-for-months-hurt. Understand?"

Sasuke nodded his head, and whimpered, "Help antidote, no hurting."

Ranma then backed off. "If you hurt him, Ranma . . ." Akane warned behind him.

"I'm not hurt!" Sasuke said quickly, for fear of Ranma deciding to give him the hurt after all. Akane glared at her fiance anyway.

"First, we destroy this Okonomiyaki of Doom," Ranma said with frustration, "Cologne, or Doctor Tofu might know an antidote."

"We should find Lotion first," Ukyo said with a pout, letting Xander do his nuzzling and assuring her with sweet nothings. "We can't let her think this is the real Xander; that'd be just cruel."

-----

Meanwhile, a little further down the road Lotion slowed down from her running, tears still in her eyes. Disgusted with how things had turned out. She wished she had seen Ukyo put the move on Xander and kill her for it; she just couldn't figure out when and where the skank had done it. Looking down in defeat, she noticed her left hand, still dirty from when she had picked up and thrown the okonomiyaki. Looking around she could find no place to clean it, and so with an angry growl she resigned to licking her rivals creation off of her hand.

A bit further on, a white-robed guy was looking for her. He spotted her, and called with an evil grin, "Lotion!" Lotion looked up at the call just as she licked up the last of the food, and noticed Mousse standing there with an angry look. He added, "For beating me twice, but worse hurting my precious Shampoo, I shall make you pay! Now, pre-"

"Mousse," Lotion said, a smile forming. What had she been thinking. She surged forward, surprising the boy who was about to attack. "Nihau, Mousse!" Lotion called and jumped forward, slamming into Mousse and wrapping her arms around his neck, pressing her breasts into his chest. His eyes widened in surprise, and then found Lotion's soft lips pressed against his own, and a steamy tongue kiss followed. "Mousse," Lotion breathed out as she broke the kiss, and then pressed her head against his shoulder and neck. She sighed in satisfaction and said, "You amazing hunk, where have you been all my life?"

Mousse was still looking forward, shocked, trying to make sense of the situation. Then he put his head back and shouted to the sky, "THE WRONG AMAZON! WHY ME!"

-----

**Sunnydale**

Buffy and Willow were lying on their sides on Buffy's bed, smiling at each other. They moved their heads closer and give each other a quick, chaste, but passionate kiss on the lips. "You are so beautiful," Buffy murmured, and put her hand on Willow's side, slowly letting it move up. Willow held her breath, and then Buffy's right hand cupped her left breast, and Buffy gently squeezed it, feeling about, massaging it. "You're not wearing a bra," Buffy said breathlessly. Willow moaned just a bit, and nodded. The flimsy, tight, pink shirt didn't keep much off the feel of Buffy's hands on her breast away. Buffy tested the sensation of feeling the soft lump, against feeling Xander's powerful chest. Both had their appeal, and right now, actually feeling Willow's breast, it won out. Buffy let her eyes move down, as she kept up her gentle massaging, looking Willow short, pleated skirt, and the sexy legs sticking out. They were thinner, and less muscled then her own, which stuck out from under her tight mini-skirt.

Her eyes moved back to Willow's lovely grey ones, as she felt Willow's hand on her breast. Willow seemed much more sure of herself - no wonder since she experience with Xander's female alter ego, Buffy thought. It was nice, feeling Willow's strong fingers squeeze her breast, letting it move upward, taking special care to stimulate her nipple, and then moved back to the base. Buffy's breathing got a little heavier, and she let out a little grunt.

"You like that?" Willow asked gently, felt Buffy imitate the motion, and smile settling her body into Buffy's ministrations.

Buffy felt herself grow aroused rapidly, and said, "I like your breasts, I love kissing your lips, and your ass in leather is heavenly."

Willow wiggled a little closer to Buffy, and she felt herself grow moist inside, she said with a smile, "I love your breasts, your legs are divine, and your ass is just as heavenly as mine."

(NC-17 Snipped - see homepage.)

-----

**Nerima**

"Damn it!" Ranma cursed, looking around the street. No Lotion anywhere. The street was relatively busy, and the shows had plenty of clientele though. Then he looked at the smiling Sasuke being held and hugged by Akane and Ranma only grew more pissed. Then his gaze settled on Xander totally smitten by the uncomfortable-looking Ukyo, the cause of this mess, and he got even more annoyed. "Ucchan, I think we'll have to face it: we better go look up Cologne and see if she knows an antidote first. Lotion's gone."

"Okay," Ukyo said dejected, hating how much she screwed up Xander and Lotion's budding relationship with her stupid love potion.

"All right then, let's go," Ranma said, and he and his entourage changed course, and set a brisk pace. Ranma's left eye twitched with every mounting frustrations as he heard Akane smooth and say sweet nothings in Sasuke's - **-Sasuke's!-** - ear. If this had been done by anyone other than Ukyo, he'd be beating them into a pulp, that was for sure.

Thus preoccupied, he completely missed the woman tossing water off a balcony above; the same went for the others. A moment later they were soaked in water and a female Ranma grumbled with annoyance. Lexa swayed, and shook her head, as once again two magics clashed on her being. She disengaged from Ukyo, and then steadied herself, looking at Ranma's back. "Ranma," she said sultry.

"Huh?" Ranma said confused and turned around, then looked at Lexa. The others looked confused at Lexa; after all girls don't like girls.

"You're just as hot a girl as you are a guy, come here hottie!" Lexa exclaimed happily and charged forward.

"No!" Ranma exclaimed as Lexa was on her almost immediately taking her in a tight embrace. Everyone around looked with wide eyes.

"Ooh, baby," Lexa muttered and attempted to plant a kiss on girl-Ranma.

Ranma managed to struggle free, and staggered as he tried to get away. Ukyo and the other two looked in shock as Ranma bolted over a fruit stand, with Lexa in hot pursuit. "HOT WATER! HOT WATER! QUICKLY!"

"Oh, right!" Ukyo said, being the cause of all this, she should be the object of Xander's, Lexa's right now, obsession. She pulled the cannister with warm water for just such an occasion from a pocket and ran after the two.

"Aah!" Ranma screamed in terror as he started climbing up a rain pipe. Ukyo tossed some water forward, but Lexa had just jumped up and grabbed a hold of Ranma.

"Oh, baby, don't run, we're perfect for each other," Lexa moaned with a sly smile.

"HUUURRRYYYY!" Ranma yelled scared as hell.

"I'm hurrying, I'm hurrying," Ukyo replied, splashing some more water; this time upward. It hit Lexa, but not Ranma, and so Lexa turned back into Xander, and let go as the wave of dizziness passed through him. He turned half around, smiled brightly in Ukyo's face and hugged her close.

Shivered with the horror of his best friend trying to ravage, Ranma stayed up against the wall of the building a little while younger. "We so need an antidote, please let there be a antidote," Ranma muttered horrified.

"Want some warm water too, Ranma?" Ukyo asked Xander clinging to her and rubbing against her, as the crowd continued with their business; a few wondering how bad the place had gone down hill if this barely lifted people's eyebrows anymore.

"No, no, we need to keep enough for Xander, keep as much of it," Ranma muttered with relief.

-----

The restaurant of one Cologne was not packed, but it wasn't exactly empty either. The blue-haired, still somewhat bruised from the defeat at the hands of Lotion, was doing the place as a waitress; a tight dress accentuating her curves. Ranma, Xander, and the others entered the place, to Ranma's great hope. Xander was pawing Ukyo, as he had been doing the whole way here, kissing, and talking. Just as bad, was Akane doing the same to the little ninja. With every pressing moment his frustration rose.

"Nihau, Ranma, you finally come ask Shampoo to marry?" Shampoo asked excitedly, coming over to her love interest quickly, letting a few customers wait and caring nothing for them.

Ranma's left eye twitched as Shampoo came to him. The Amazon actually took a step back, at the carefully contained fury visible in the martial artist's eyes. "No," he growled. "Cologne, you old crone, come here!" he added, sounding desperate. He sped over to bar, and Shampoo took a better look at his companions.

Her eyes widened when she saw Akane happily holding Sasuke to her chest, hugging him, and kissing him. She jerked back, physically assaulted by the sight, and yelled out, "YAAAH! What are you thinking?"

The small three-centuries-and-counting old woman appeared from the kitchen, to look over. "She's not thinking, neither is he," Ranma snarled with frustration. "Crone, tell me you have a cure for this!"

"For what, son-in-law?" Cologne asked coolly.

"Ukyo," Ranma demanded, and the girl dejectedly walked over and gave the potion bottle to Ranma. He placed it on the counter.

"Love Potion number 5," Cologne read, and looked at the results. She grinned, and said, "Now why would I want to help you with this? It effectively eliminates both serious rivals for my daughter? It's a powerful potion indeed, two months hence, and who knows, after it wears off, the two months together might have made their love real. It's that powerful, it's designed for that. Especially if they teach each other about pleasure." The gleam in Cologne's eyes was unholy.

"Ooh, pleasure teaching," Sasuke said with a happy smile.

Ranma jerked around and pointed his left index finger at Sasuke, growling, "There shall be no pleasure of any kind, or I swear I will break every bone in your body, pipsqueak!"

"Ranma-baka!" Akane snarled angrily. "Threaten my love again, and _/I/_ will break the bones in _/your/_ body."

Some of the customers were getting impatient, and one said, "Uhm, can we get service?"

"**-QUIET!-"** Ranma snapped off the order in an enraged snarl. The customer back off, swallowing. Ranma turned back to Cologne, and said, "Look at that, woman, that's horrific, not even you can be so cold as to keep Akane attached to that."

"That very bad, great grandmother," Shampoo said with distaste, as Cologne just grinned evilly.

"Well," the ancient woman said, smiling, "I'd be willing to produce the antidote, for a price: marry my great granddaughter, and I shall cure your friends, son-in-law."

"Never," Ranma stated empathically. "Perhaps you should know, old crone, that as a girl, _/that potion/_ makes Xander in love with me. That is unnatural! Unholy!" Ranma shivered at it, "He will chase me down."

"Hayah! Evil potion!" Shampoo stated empathically.

Xander hated what Ranma said: the thought! He gave Ukyo a kiss on her cheek, making the girl blush with guilt, and embarrassment, and he said, "Don't listen to him, my sweet. He doesn't know what he's talking about. I will love you no matter what."

"I know," Ukyo muttered, and patted Xander on his arm.

Ranma sighed as he heard the exchange. This had to end. This was disgusting.

"And that's my problem, why exactly, son-in-law?" Cologne asked with an evil smile. "I only see one more reason why you should marry my Shampoo."

He took a step closer to the bar and put his eyes right in front of Cologne's. "Because, you evil crone," Ranma told her with intensity, "he's almost as strong as I am. Enough that by cheating, or surprise, he might be able to beat me; drag me off to a church, and find a way to fake me saying 'I do'. Then I won't be married to Shampoo, but to him."

"Hayaah! Great grandmother, think of shame when return to tribe: future husband marry _/man/_ before me! May never happen!" Shampoo exclaimed, all but screaming the horror of that possibility throughout the restaurant, which made some customers look up from their food, and those who had none look in both annoyance and fright, remembering the guys outburst moments ago.

Cologne's face turned to frustration and looked at the guy, making more kisses and reassurances to her great granddaughter's second rival. That would indeed be too horrifying to contemplate. And it was such a good opportunity too; apart from the boy-girl swap. She should have thought about it herself. Before Shampoo could lay more reasons of horror on her, Cologne said, "There is an antidote. However, to make it, I require an extremely rare flower; the Flower of Despise and Deceit. Lucky for you, one of only three places where it grows, is right here on Mount Fuji." Cologne got a book from under the counter and opened it, showing a black flower with jagged pedals, jagged leafs around the square stem, with a blood-red pistil in the middle.

"Get me a map," Ranma said in annoyance, knowing he'd go up the mountain to get the flower right away.

-----

Lotion forced her tongue down Mousse throat, pushing him up against the wall. "Lomwmw," Mousse tried, as the bystanders looked strangely at the pair. Mousse put his hands against Lotions shoulders and went to push, but Lotion was strong as well and pushed, back, smiling during her forcing kiss. Her hands moved down Mousse's robes, feeling up his body and attempting to find a way to actually put her hands passed them on his skin; and they were getting dangerously close to his crotch area.

With a herculean effort Mousse managed to push the amorous Amazon off of him, and stagger aside. "Now, Lotion, mww-" Mousse started, but was interrupted as Lotion collided into him with a jump, her breasts pushing against his chest, and her tongue once more down his throat. He toppled over and Lotion wasted no time to pin him to the floor for a real good time. Struggling for his virtue, and loyalty to Shampoo, which to his dismay his penis didn't seem to share as it grew hard, he pushed against Lotion. Lotion, feeling his erection grow, smiled with happiness. "RAAH!" Mousse exclaimed, pushing Lotion off of him, and sending her a meter in the air and away. He got up quickly, as did Lotion with a smooth jump up from her shoulders. "THAT'S ENOUGH!" Mousse snapped, and Lotion stopped, a sly, happy grin on her face, and her eyes twinkling with even greater desire. "I'm not in love with you, my heart belongs to Shampoo!" he declared.

"Your hard-on seems to belong to me though," Lotion said, swaying as she took a few steps closer, and making any passersby shake their heads in disgust.

"Lotion," Mousse warned, and Lotion let out a deep breath. "Aah!" Mousse screamed, turned around and ran.

"Mousse!" Lotion called after him, quickly in hot pursuit. "Don't leave me, baby! My beloved man! Take me!"

Mousse half-collided with a few people, worming himself around them, much to their chagrin. This was taking too long, and he jumped up on a roof, ran, and jumped onward. He looked back, and too his dismay, Lotion had followed him up smoothly. "Aargh!" Mousse exclaimed, fearing for his virtue, cursing his betrayer of a penis.

He sped up, the equivalent of sprinting across rooftops now, and he was quickly getting winded. He jumped down into an alley and ran left. "Mousse! Wait, my love!" sounded behind him . . . much too close behind hm.

He ran out the alley into a busy shop street, and ran right. "Mousse!" Lotion exclaimed behind him. Mousse, quickly disappeared into the crowd . . . until he noticed nobody wore long white robes.

"Mousse, my baby," Lotion sounded far too close, and a moment later the buxom Amazon was once more around his neck, giving him a passionate kiss; this time without tongue thank the gods.

"Lotion!" Both Lotion and Mousse's head snapped to the voice, and looked at Deo standing close by. "What are you doing?" the thirty-something, every bit as hot as her daughter woman asked in shock.

"Kissing my amazing love Mousse of course," Lotion answered with a happy smile.

"WHAT!" Deo asked in utter disbelief.

"She's lost her mind, that's what! She's practically raping me!" Mousse told Lotion's mother in desperation.

"Really?" Deo asked.

"He's just being modest," Lotion said with a smile.

Deo looked around at some of the people staring at the scene, and quickly pulled the two off into the alley they came from for some privacy. "Lotion, have you forgotten your obligation?" Deo asked her daughter.

"Doesn't matter," Lotion said dreamily holding onto an uncomfortable Mousse.

"There was more than obligation," Deo said with some annoyance, but also a possibility.

"Xander was kissing Ukyo, now I know my true love," Lotion said, looking dreamily into the nervous Mousse eyes.

"Really? And where was this?" Deo asked her daughter, rubbing her chin in thought.

"At her stupid restaurant of course," Lotion answered with an 'obviously' tone. "Tossed one of her stupid pizzas at them too."

"You did, huh? I don't suppose you ate some?" Deo asked her daughter, growing more certain by the moment.

"No, and what's this stupid questioning, I found my love, that's all that matters," Lotion said, angry at her mother now.

"You certain? You didn't eat anything?" Deo asked her sharply.

"No, I didn't . . . apart from licking my fingers clean," Lotion answered, and Mousse looked from one to the other.

"Let me smell your breath," Deo ordered, being certain now.

"No, smell your own breath," Lotion countered annoyed; she had her Mousse, this served no purpose. Deo looked sharply at Mousse.

"Uh, would you do it for me?" Mousse asked Lotion a little nervous.

"I don't see why, but for you anything, my hunk of a man," Lotion answered, and promptly leaned toward her mother and breathed out.

Deo leant forward and breathed in through her nose. "Love Potion number 5," she stated with absolute certainty. "Overdose. I must prepare the antidote."

"This insanity will end?" Mousse asked hopefully, understanding Lotion's behavior finally.

"Madly in love with you," Lotion said, hugging Mousse close and rubbing her head in his shoulder. He whimpered.

"Yes, but you must get the Despise-Deceit flower from Mount Fuji. It's a rare flower, black, jagged, with blood-red pistils. You must find it quickly, Lotion and Xander must both drink the antidote," Deo said quickly. "Meet me at our hotel." She gave Mousse the address.

"Where on the mountain?" Mousse quickly asked, and Deo explained.

-----

**Sunnydale**

"That- that was amazing, Willow," Buffy muttered, moving her hand through her hand in a lazy, very satisfied matter.

Willow grinned from between her legs, licking her lips clean with relish. She moved forward and shared a gentle loving kiss with the bottle blonde. "You're amazing," Willow countered, and hugged Buffy close, who hugged the witch back.

"Buffy, I have to tell you something," Willow said seriously, but with a light tone.

"Hmm?" Buffy prompted leisurely, enjoying the feel of her naked body against Willow's naked body.

Willow hesitated a moment, and then decided to simply say, "When you made me climax, your mother was in the door."

Buffy froze, and then relaxed, "Very funny, Willow, ha, ha."

"Not a joke, Buffy," Willow said gently.

Buffy looked into Willow's eyes and then said annoyed, "Not funny anymore, Willow."

"She came with a tray of chips and coke," Willow said, and pointed at the door. Buffy turned around and her eyes fell on the cupboard, holding her mirror, beauty products, a few pictures . . . and a tray with a bowl of chips, two glasses and a bottle of cola.

Buffy's eyes widened with shock, then she turned white. "Oh, no! No, no! This can't be happening. Why didn't you say anything?"

"When you're climaxing there's not much else you can do; and she was gone afterward," Willow said, and shrugged at Buffy, "I figured before I tell you the nightmare I give you another round of pleasure; you deserved it, definitely."

"I'm so stupid!" Buffy exclaimed in a hiss. "What was I thinking? Doing that with mom home! I didn't even lock the door."

"We were in the moment, honey, not much thinking going on," Willow said, watching as Buffy struggled off the bed and started pacing, her face still white with horror.

"That was a rhetorical question, Willow!" Buffy said upset, growing a little angry. "Now my mom watched me . . ." Buffy trailed off as she pictured what her mom would have scene: she between the legs of a thrashing- ". . . oh, my god! Oh, my god! This can't be happening. Oh, god!"

"It isn't so bad," Willow said in a consoling tone.

"Not so bad? How is this not so bad?" Buffy asked Willow with her hands in the air out of despair.

"Well, she didn't interrupt us," Willow pointed out, earning her a dropped jaw. Willow quickly realized how that sounded, and added, "What I mean is; she isn't hysterically calling us god-devoid sluts and stuff, and running out to buy a shotgun and blow our immoral, devil-worshiping heads off."

Buffy considered it, and sank down to the floor, "I guess." The whiteness slowly retreating.

With a smirk that Willow couldn't suppress, she said, "Look on the bright side, you don't have to worry about introducing me as your girlfriend anymore."

"Willow!" Buffy exclaimed exasperated, and once again thought about what her mom had seen. "Oh, my god!" Buffy exclaimed again, this time the whiteness completely retreating and her cheeks growing red. "Oh, god," she said, sinking her head down in her hands with shame.

Willow came over and took Buffy in an embrace, "Ssh, there's nothing to be ashamed off, embarrassed sure, but not ashamed."

Buffy looked up, straight into Willow's twinkling eyes, "This isn't helping."

"Maybe we should just confront the mom-monster?" Willow asked, rubbing her head against Buffy's caringly.

"Mm," Buffy whimpered, giving Willow puppy-dog eyes.

-----

Hesitantly, almost shaking, Buffy walked into the living room, Willow at her side. Her mother was sitting at the high table. "Mom?" Buffy asked tentatively, feeling her cheeks flush a little as she saw her mother drink tea stoically . . . at least, she guessed it was tea. It was quite a while since - oh, god! - she might have progressed to . . . nah, couldn't be . . . she hoped hadn't driven her mom to drinking.

"Ah, Buffy, Willow, I think we need to have a little chat," Joyce said friendly, pointing two the chairs.

Buffy gulped. A 'chat', even. A 'chat'! She was doomed. She nodded and the two of them walked over. Buffy said at the head of the table, while Willow sat to the left of her, directly opposite her mother.

"So, that little question about Willow wanting to tell her parents of her bisexuality, was really about you, huh?" Joyce asked, in what she hoped sounded like a casual start of the conversation. Buffy nodded weakly, and give Willow a look, who looked at her askance, but quickly figured it out. "How long ago did it start?"

Willow and Buffy looked at each other, and Buffy sputtered out, "A-a few weeks."

"But- this is the first time we . . ." Willow made some well-meaning, but ambiguous gestures, and then finished, ". . . consummated."

"We're kinda . . . figuring this out still, ourselves," Buffy muttered, looking down in embarrassment. Willow nodded.

"I see," Joyce said, and wanted to slap herself - that sounded far too icy. She quickly placed her left hand supportively on Buffy's right, sought Buffy's eyes, and said, "I love you, Buffy, and I'm totally okay with this. What I told you then weren't empty words. It's just that . . . well, we're going to have to set up a few rules." Buffy and Willow looked at her, Buffy with a beaten puppy look. "Nothing to do with Willow, honey, but boy or girl, I don't _/ever/_ want to walk in on you again when you're . . . busy."

Buffy perked up a bit, but still flushed with embarrassment, "Yeah, me too, you walking in when - oh, god." Willow's mouth quirked upward, but she forced it down again with all her will power.

"So, when you feel the urge, and you're here, lock your doors. I would prefer if you don't . . . do it here at all, but I know it's impossible it never happens again, so, lock up," Joyce said, and then smiled at Buffy, who nodded.

"Uhm," Willow peeped out, raising her hand, and the two blondes looked at her, "not trying to be rude; but you know, if we should forget for whatever reason, perhaps when we're both here, knocking first? Like I said, no rudeness, just practically." The last sentence Willow managed to rush out in classic Willow-babble.

A moment Joyce stayed silent, but then nodded, and said, "That is a good idea. And if I every bring a guy - or girl -" Joyce smiled at the two, making Buffy's eyes widen in shock, "home, the same rules go for my room."

"Ack! I so don't want to think about that," Buffy said in disgust.

Willow shrugged, and told her, "Your mother is a striking, and successful woman, Buffy, I'm certain there plenty of persons out here who'd . . ."

"Don't say it!" Buffy warned her now official girlfriend.

"Why thank you, Willow," Joyce thanked Willow for the compliment.

The three stayed silent for a bit. Willow and Joyce looked at each other, and they smirked just a bit, eyes twinkling. Joyce spoke up, "This is actually quite funny when you think about."

"No, it's not," Buffy said incredulous, feeling her cheeks grow hot again as the concept entered her.

"It is quite funny, Buffy," Willow said, and gave a chuckle she could no longer hold; Joyce the same.

Buffy, her embarrassment rising, swung her head from her mother to her girlfriend, and couldn't believe the two were going to laugh at this. "You two can't be . . . Mom, you just caught my girlfriend and- . . . oh, god!" Buffy exclaimed about the event once again, and Joyce and Willow started giggling. "No!" Buffy exclaimed and then turned fiery red.

"Hey, you're redder than I usually am," Willow said with an amused smile. Joyce giggled, trying to hold it.

"Oh, god!" Buffy exclaimed again, this time letting her head fall to table in frustration and embarrassment, locking her hands protectively on her head. "This can't be happening!" Willow and Joyce then really started laughing, and Buffy felt like sinking to the floor till she reached Xander in Japan.

-----

**Nerima**

The steep mountain was quite a climb. Trees stood everywhere amongst the grass. Ranma-chan checked the map and was pretty sure she was going in the right direction. "Don't worry, fair Ukyo-chan, I'll carry you up the mountain," Xander's manly, chivalrous voice sounded behind him.

"Oh, no need, Xander, but thank you," Ukyo answered, an obvious hint of genuine gratefulness in her voice, and perhaps even flattery.

Ranma-chan twisted around suddenly, growling with anger, seeing Xander's hand on Ukyo's back, and to the right of them, Sasuke and Akane. The ninja had a smile upon his face as Akane stayed close to him, and was obviously periodically pawning him. "Damn it, Ukyo!" Ranma-chan screamed with anger. "He's under the influence of your poison! Don't encourage him!"

"Sorry," Ukyo said, ducking her head downward in shame, "it's just nice."

"Don't talk to the goddess Ukyo like that!" Xander warned Ranma threateningly, stepping in between the love of his life and Ranma. "Nobody insults my Ukyo like that."

"Oh, yeah, buster?" Ranma-chan asked him challengingly, cracking her knuckles, fed up with the whole situation, even if it wasn't Xander's fault. "You think so, huh? Well, come on if you dare, I'll show you otherwise."

"Xander," Ukyo warned him, not wanting to be responsible for the nice guy to get an asskicking.

Xander stood back up straight, reigning himself back in, and said, "You're right, Ukyo-chan, this waste of space isn't worth it."

Ranma-chan narrowed her eyes. She just need to pound someone, and said, "Ukyo is an ugly, manipulative witch who can't even read a simple set of instructions." Ukyo looked down in shame - she deserved that after all, but it wasn't meant for her.

"That's it!" Xander roared and threw a massive haymaker at Ranma-chan, who smoothly ducked beneath it. A right to Xander's stomach made him groan, but he grabbed the smaller girl-Ranma by her shoulders and pulled her up, before tossing her aside. Before she landed, Xander's right foot stomped in her stomach and she was launched further backward.

"Oh, no!" Ukyo exclaimed as Ranma-chan landed on the floor.

"Ranma-baka," Akane said watching the fight with disdain. Xander reached Ranma-chan, but she landed a powerful uppercut, making Xander stagger back and groan with pain. "Always fighting, but you're more mature, aren't you, Sasuke? Of course you are." She planted another kiss on him, much to the ninja's delight.

Xander attacked, making a feint with his left, and then nailed Ranma-chan in the face with a right. His following punch Ranma ducked under, and kicked Xander in the upper leg. Xander ignored it, and threw another punch, which Ranma grabbed. Already down for her kick to Xander's upper leg and ducking beneath Xander's punch, Ranma rolled back, and kicked upward, sending Xander flying high and away. Ranma-chan got back up with a grin, slapping her hands together and said, "Still not quite good enough, Xander."

She turned around to watch Xander's flight, which had taken the Sunnydaler through several branches from trees already, to finally land right smack in a small pool of water. Lexa drowsily looked up from the pool, shook her head, and focused on Ranma-chan. "Oh, Ranma, you manly, strong, studly babe, you," she said with a sly grin, and jumped forward, then ran.

"Oh, no! Ukyo, warm wamm-" Ranma started, interrupted by a big embrace and Lexa's tongue down his throat. Her eyes were wide with horror, as Lexa's strong arms tightened around his own. "Mmmh!" he exclaimed, and then broke free, and pushed Lexa back. "AAH!" he screamed, "Ugh, phooey! Yuck. Pueah!"

"Hmm," Lexa said with a seductive moan, rubbing her chest - her breasts - where Ranma had pushed to get her off of her, "I knew you were just faking it. Like my tits, huh?"

"AAH!" Ranma-chan screamed. She turned around and ran with all the strength she could muster as Ukyo was struggling with the warm water cannister's cap.

"Come here, sweetheart!" Lexa yelled, already in hot pursuit of her loved one.

Ranma scrambled up a tree, and Lexa followed. "Get off me! Let me go!" Ranma yelled scrambling higher rapidly.

"Never, babe!" Lexa exclaimed, happily charging right after Ranma.

Ranma-chan quickly moved to her right onto a branch, hoping that would slow her crazed, best friend down. Not so, Lexa crawled after him like a big, sexy feline, purring like one too. "HOT WATER! HOT WATER! QUICKLY!" Ranma-chan exclaimed in fear, sliding backward, taking the occasional look back, and noticing the end coming closer rapidly. "UKYO, COME ON!"

"I'M COMING, I'M COMING!" Ukyo yelled and jumped up high, and then threw water along the branch, covering both Ranma-chan and Lexa who had closed to only two inches away from the brunette. The girls turned back into guys, and as the weight shifted the branch fluttered, and Ranma lost his balanced. "AARGH!" he exclaimed, toppling over, crashing down through several branches, to finally smack face-first in a heap into the ground.

Xander shook his head, looked around, and then smiled seeing Ukyo. "Ukyo!" he exclaimed, and happily jumped down, quickly capturing the girl with a kiss.

Pained with guilt, she cut the kiss short, and looked over. "Are you okay, Ranma?" Ukyo asked concerned.

"I will be after my head stops ringing, and I no longer have grass and sand in my mouth," Ranma growled in frustration.

Akane, lovingly carrying Sasuke, came over, and said, "Suit you fine, Ranma-baka. That's what you get for attacking people." Then she kissed the ninja again, who just smiled, as he kissed her back. Ukyo held out her hand, and Ranma took it to be helped up.

-----

"Look at this beautiful place!" Lotion exclaimed happily, looking around the small field with different flowers and high grass. The forest continued shortly up ahead. "So romantic, doesn't this makes you want to ravish me right here?"

"No!" Mousse exclaimed, frustration growing. "I love only one woman, and her name is Shampoo!"

"Don't be shy. I know you really like me, just let it out. The bitch isn't worthy of you anyway," Lotion said sweetly, wrapping her arms around Mousse's shoulders, and pressing her breasts in his back.

Mousse whimpered, "What cruel fate, this world has given me!" He felt the Amazon's lips on his neck, kissing gently, sucking a bit, and letting her tongue sensually stimulate his skin. To his shame, he once again wasn't left untouched by the sensual event. "Get off," he demanded.

"Hmm, not yet," Lotion said, increasing the pressure, and forcing a surprised Mousse down to the grass. "First, we make love."

"No!" he exclaimed, as he felt Lotion start to claw at his robes. The white cloth quickly reached the breaking point, and to Mousse's shock he felt them rip. "Get off," he said as he struggled, still politely. Lotion turn him over, and ripped the robes from his body, leaving him in the white t-shirt and the blue jeans he was wearing underneath.

"Oh, baby, what a chest, take me, you amazing specimen of man you!" Lotion exclaimed hotly, smothering Mousse in a passionate tongue kiss.

"Mmhh!" Mousse exclaimed, looking cross-eyed through his glasses, and then with some effort kicked Lotion of him. "No, woman!"

"I love it when you get bossy," Lotion said, on her hand and knees now and growling like a panther.

"Well, can't you obey then?" Mousse asked, hopefully.

"We can play that game later," Lotion said with a smirk and started crawling toward him again.

"AAARGGHH!" Mousse screamed, quickly jumped up, turned around and started running toward his ultimate destination. "MUST GET THAT FLOWER!"

"Mousse!" Lotion yelled disappointed and soon was in hot pursuit.

Mousse looked back for a moment, and sped up into a sprint. "Oh, god! Must get that flower! Must get that flower! I can't afford not to get that flower!" Speeding up even more, he mentally recalled the directions Deo had given him. He turned right, up a steeper section of the mountain; jumping along. Soon he came to a new horizontal plateau.

There it was! Black jagged flower, blood-red pistils! "THAT FLOWER IS MINE!" he yelled. Now why would he sound in stereo? He jumped, grabbing for the flower to get it as fast as possible and then just keep going right back to Lotion's mother . . .

A devastating bolt of pain through his head, and being launched backward by the devastating collision with something had other plans for him. The glasses left him, and he landed painfully on his butt with a grunt. He blinked, seeing nothing but blurs. He reached in between his wide-spread legs, felt around, and found his glasses. He put them on, and everything came back into focus. He saw Ranma sitting in the grass on the opposite side of his prized flower. Ukyo and a few others were behind his rival. "You bastard!" Mousse screamed, getting up, as Ranma did the same, "I knew you were behind this after all! THAT FLOWER IS MINE AND YOU SHALL PAY!"

"YOU BAKA!" Ranma screamed back, rage coursing through his body, "AND THAT FLOWER COMES WITH ME AND NO ONE ELSE!"

They charged each other and clashed in a titanic battle; fist flew, and kicks were given . . . Mousse was groaning and staggering back while Ranma grinned and was ready to finish it.

"STOP IT!" Ukyo was in between the two, her hands against either chest. "This is no time for a stupid fight. Mousse, why do you need the flower?"

Mousse blinked, and then said, "So Deo can make an antidote for her daughter."

Said daughter arrived and hung around Mousse's neck, kissing him there and saying, "There's no antidote for love, silly."

Ukyo looked surprised at this turn of events, while Mousse grumbled, "No, but there is for a love potion."

Lotion had picked up the okonomiyaki! She must have had some on her fingers! Ukyo's guilt flashed through her, and then relief: if Lotion was affected as well, then there was no way she wouldn't believe Xander's reason for kissing her! "Ranma, Mousse," Ukyo stated with a hint of happiness, and the rest annoyed dominance, "you two want the flower for the same reason. What does it matter if Cologne or Deo makes the antidote, as long as it gets made? And if both you are adamant about having your Amazon make it; there's an entire patch of flowers over there." Ukyo turned a quarter circle, and pointed to her right.

Indeed, there was an entire patch of them there; easily fifty flowers. Mousse and Ranma looked down at the lone flower, and then up at each other, before looking sheepishly at Ukyo. "I'll take the flower," Ukyo said, and picked the flower from the ground.

"Hmm," Xander muttered and reached his girl, kissing Ukyo passionately in the neck, "I love it when you get all referee-dominant-like."

"We gotta hurry," Ranma said quickly, to which Mousse agreed happily.

-----

"There, it is done," Cologne announced, inside her restaurant.

"Finally," Ranma said with relief, as Cologne filled three small glasses with the concoction.

Ukyo took one glass and handed it over to Xander. "Xander, you need to drink this," she told him.

"I don't see the point," Xander looked with disdain at the green liquid.

"For me?" Ukyo asked.

"Anything for you," Xander said happily, took the glass, and gulped it down in one go. Everyone waited with baited breath as Xander shuddered at the taste. He blinked once. He blinked a second time. Then suddenly he jerked, his eyes refocused, and he looked Ukyo. His eyes widened and he took a step back from. "Oh, god, so that's what it feels like. Ugh." Then he suddenly looked at Ranma, horror on his face, and he said, "Oh, man, Ranma, I'm so sorry. I-"

"Save it!" Ranma interrupted, "Just don't every remind me. As far as I'm concerned, this day never happened."

"Got ya, yieh," Xander said, and walked away from the bar to sit down at a table.

"Yes!" Shampoo exclaimed happily, "Future husband no marry man!"

"Alright, Lotion, you're turn!" Mousse said enthusiastically.

"What for?" Lotion whined.

"Just do it for me already," Mousse said with annoyance. This nightmare had to be over quickly.

"Well, okay," Lotion said, and walked forward. She took a glass and gulped it down. "Ack! Disgusting!" Lotion exclaimed, and put the glass back down, next to Xander's empty one. Everyone waited, and then Lotion shivered, before frowning. "AAARGH!" she suddenly exclaimed, "NOT AGAIN! That's the second time in the same stupid year! Love potions, love spells, they should be forbidden! Burned! Destroyed!" Lotion then turned to Ukyo, and glared at her. Ukyo took a step back and looked down in guilt.

Lotion then walked over to Xander sat down in his lap, wrapping her arms around. Xander hugged her back, and told her, "It's okay now, Lotion."

"I hate that, I really hate that," Lotion said, shivering at her second false love experience.

"About that, hey Ranma," Xander said, and Ranma looked at him. "Remember what advice I gave you about your choices?"

Ranma frowned a moment, and then looked up with revelation. "Yeah."

With a smile Xander said, "Forget about it." Ukyo blinked, and then realized what it meant, and she shrunk further with guilt, and pain at how this horrible idea turned out.

A few moments there was silence, then: "Sasuke, we're waiting." Ranma looked at the little ninja with an equally dangerous look as his tone.

Sasuke looked with large eyes at him, then he swallowed, and said, "Akane, drink that drink for me."

"Okay," Akane said happily to please her loved one. She walked over and drank the glass down. She too shivered at the taste. A moment later she blinked several times. Then her eyes widened and she looked at Sasuke. "AAAAAAAAAHHHH!" she screeched, piercing several eardrums, and kicked forward instinctively. She caught Sasuke squarely in the jaw, and with a scream of pain he was launched out the restaurant. "Aargh!" Akane added, and then kept staring ahead silently in horror.

Ranma walked to in front of Akane and asked concerned, "Are you okay, Akane?"

"Of course, I'm not okay, you baka!" Akane screamed suddenly, glaring at him. "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT TOO!"

"What? But Ukyo-"

With devastating punch, accompanied by a growl, Ranma was launched out after Sasuke, groaning in pain. "If you hadn't followed your stupid stomach, this wouldn't have happened, Ranma-baka!" Akane yelled after him.

"By the gods, Akane," Lotion muttered in disbelief, as she and the others looked at what she had done to Ranma, "You really have to learn perspective and where blame belongs; squarely on that bitch's shoulders." Lotion glared at Ukyo. Akane turned around and after a moment glared at her as well.

"I'm so sorry," Ukyo told them, looking down in shame.

-----

**Sunnydale**

Buffy and Willow walked side by side through the cemetery, their patrol going pretty well, having taken out several vamps and a demon already. "You know, Will, mom was all okay with us at home, and all, but I think I prefer to do it somewhere else; just take away the chance of that happening again altogether."

Willow nodded; they had already decided to never say what happened in the event ever again, so it was reduced to short designations. "Yeah, but where?" Willow said, avoiding a headstone. "My parents would actually go out and buy that shotgun, I think. A seedy motel room isn't my cup of tea, not all the time anyway. Neither of us have a car to do it in the back of, except the occasional times I manage to steal the one of my parents, and again with the all the time."

Buffy nodded, and pushed her hands in her pockets, her right hand clasping around her keys. Her eyes widened, and pulled the keys out, focusing her gaze on a specific one. She held the keys up by it, and shook it to make noise and get Willow's attention. Then she said, "We use Xander's apartment. He's still on vacation for another two weeks or so. We'll have to think of something else when he gets back, but until then . . ."

Willow's face broke into a huge smile, as she finished for Buffy, ". . . we have our very own love palace! Buffy, you're a genius!"

"I have my moments," Buffy replied, with a grin was as wide as Willow's. Both smiles quickly disappeared as Willow engulfed Buffy in a hug, and kissed her passionately. Buffy happily returned the hug and the kiss, and moaned at as their bodies pressed together.

"Oh, wow, that's hot!" The vampire who said it and had been about to sink his fangs into Willow's neck from behind, promptly disappeared in a cloud of dust, as Buffy staked it.

"No respect for privacy these days," Buffy told Willow with a heavy tone. Willow nodded, and then they ran toward Xander's apartment.

To Be Continued . . .


	5. Part 5: The Hellmouth Strikes

Title:

1/2 Blessing, 1/2 Curse - Season 2 - 5?

Author:

3D Master

Feedback:

3d.masterchello.nl

Website:

http/members.chello.nl/-jg.temolder1/

Rating:

17+WVES

Keywords:

X-Over Ranma ½ / Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Action, Humor, Drama, AU.

Summary:

Xander returns to Sunnydale.

Disclaimer:

Buffy the Vampire Slayer and its characters do not belong to me, but to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy Productions. Ranma ½ belongs to Rumiko Takahashi. The Ninja it's type of fighting and his eyes come from Naruto, created by Masashi Kishimoto.

----Part 5: The Hellmouth Strikes----

The moon was out, and darkness prevailed. Willow and Buffy were walking through the Sunnydale park, patrolling, Willow using a flashlight. They were, however, holding hands, and smiling. "It's a nice night, huh?" Buffy asked with a smile.

"Yep," Willow said with a smirk. "It's much nicer if I remember what we did earlier tonight."

Buffy's gave Willow a wicket grin, and said, "Do you think Xander can smell us when he gets back? We really worked the place over in our last chance."

Willow grinned evilly, and said, "I don't know, depends on how well your cleaning skills are and how well you've applied them; I did my part." Buffy scowled at Willow, who diffused the Slayer's wrath with a big smile, and a passionate kiss. Then she went on, "But we definitely did. You think there's anything we forgot to have sex in, on, or at tonight?"

"Nope, all three of us got a good workout," Buffy said with a smirk. Willow looked puzzled at the Slayer, as they continued their trek through the park. "You, me, and the apartment." Willow laughed.

She stopped a moment later, and said, "Actually, Xander might actually be back already."

"You think it's that late?" Buffy asked surprised, and looked around at the moon and stars. "Ah, I either got to learn to tell time by the moon, the sun, and the stars, or buy a watch."

"Yeah, me too," Willow said, looking around at the stars and then back down, "we spent quite some time in Xander's, both the dirty deeds and the cleanup, and we've been patrolling for some time."

"It sucks his plane landed in the middle of the night," Buffy complained in annoyance. "Dang it, why do the commercial flights from Japan not go to Sunnydale anyway? And why did his plane from Japan have to have a damn delay so he didn't know whether he'd get the connection between LAX and Sunnydale airport or have to stay the night."

"I know all that, Buffy," Willow said with a smile, and shone the flashlight to her left suddenly, checking if it really was something worthwhile she saw form the corner of her eyes.

"But I wanted to welcome him home, stupid planes," Buffy pouted overly, gaining a kiss on her cheek from Willow.

"This place is empty except for animals," Willow said with annoyance. "Come on, let's get out of here and see if Xander's either back, or if left us a message when exactly."

"I hope he's not here yet so we can welcome him," Buffy said brightly, as they turned slightly and set a resolute pace. "No, I don't, I'd like to have him back as soon as possible. Oh, god, what do you think his reaction to us will be? Perhaps he shouldn't be arriving until tomorrow after all."

Willow laughed at Buffy, making the Slayer frown. Willow planted her lips on Buffy and kissed her deeply and passionately, tongue playing with tongue. After a bit she broke away, and ushering a slightly dazed Slayer onward again, she said, "I love you in all your quirkiness, Buffy." Buffy smiled self-consciously.

Thus they reached the edge of the park, and entered a cemetery that bordered to it. It was a relatively new cemetery and so mostly empty - at least it should have been. A whole group of golden glowing eyes was waiting for them; at least thirty vamped out vampires, all sporting evil grins. One of them was headed toward Buffy and Willow as they stood nailed to the floor in surprise and a little fear - the low growls coming from the back of the throats of quite a few vampires didn't help any. They were outnumbered fifteen to one, in a small area; fleeing might be the best option. They looked behind them for a moment, and found another throng of vampires having surrounded them. Now there were well over forty. The vampire jumped, roared with satisfaction to attack the two girls, only to scream in pain and turn to dust.

A figure flipped through the air and landed in middle of the cemetery, surrounded by the vampires. Buffy and Willow recognized him immediately. "Xander!"

"Stay put!" Xander called, stretching out his hand toward them. The stake that had dusted the vampire landed with dull flub in the grass. Xander took in the numbers, started doing the math. Buffy and Willow obeyed, but turned back to back, and readied to fight. "All right, who's first?"

The vampires' faces already twisted in grins grinned even wider, growling once again, then fifteen vampires charged Xander at once. Xander waited and then jumped high. To his surprise the vampires didn't dumbly smashed into each other, several had already jumped, as if having anticipated his move, while the others paused, and from those four jumped up after Xander; there now being eight vampires in the air.

Xander pulled two stakes from his jacket, and blocked the first punch coming from a vampire in front of him. He pulled his left hand back sharply to deliver a punch, using the movement to ram his elbow in a vamp behind him which had gone for his neck. The vamp was flung backward in pain. In the air Xander turned, slamming the stake from his left hand in the first vampire's chest in the process, making him explode into dust. Using the turn he kicked out his right foot, and sent another vampire flying. His right hand shot out to his right, sticking the stake in a vampire's throat, sending him gurgling to the ground. Another vampire was in the right position to slam a punch in Xander's left side. Xander groaned a little, and slammed his left hand down, dusting the vamp with his stake. Already falling back down, Xander then quickly twisted backwards, so he came upside down. It was just in time as a quick jab from a vamp went through where his head had been a moment earlier. The moment from the quick turn Xander used to kick the vamp in his stomach and sent him flying away, to land amidst several of the fifty plus vampires - he was caught and placed upright though, no bowl-a-rama. Upside down, Xander threw one of his stakes and dusted the for-to-final of the aerial vampires. The final vampires came down at Xander with a double handed blow, but Xander blocked it with his legs, and grabbed the vampire's torso. He made a twist while stretching their bodies outward, thus speeding up the twisting motion, sent the vampire flying away to land painfully on his back beyond the vampires.

Xander grunted with the effort to stretch further, the forces making him want to spread out his legs again, but the time wasn't there yet. He sped up a bid more, and then spread out his legs. The vampires waiting below had indeed as expected charged in, but had apparently anticipated this again, as they paused to avoid Xander's helicopter kick. Xander landed on his hands, grimacing with effort, and twisted onward, pushing off with one hand to flip over on his feet again. The vampires were charging perfect coordinated, he anticipated, and so he needed to move before they could box him in. He took a quick powerful step toward the front of the cemetery and landed a simple but very effecting haymaker on the vampire's nose, sending him flying. Xander rapidly turned a quarter circle, and blocked the lunge from the vampire with his left hand. He twisted the arm up, while he ducked underneath it and stepped forward. The other two vamps paused so as not to hit their own, while Xander brought up his right hand and slammed the stake into the vamps heart. It dusted, but Xander didn't. Moving to his right, he walked into solid fist to his face. Damn, these guys knew how to work together. Staggering back, Xander threw his stake, dusted the vampire, and then turned on his right foot quickly, making a devastating left roundhouse kick. The turn was just enough for Xander to avoid the final vampire's attack, and hit it with the kick afterward. The vampire was launched off its feet, yelling in pain, and slammed like a torpedo in the left section of surrounding vampires. This time the vamp was too fast to handle, and some of the vampires went down, but only for a short moment, and none all the way to their backs, except the one Xander had kicked but he was immediately held up.

"Whoa," Willow muttered in surprise, taking in her childhood friend, who was standing in a martial arts stands and was looking at the vampires like a hawk. He looked good! Even better then before he left. The tight jeans, the black jacket, and his purple, tight, sleeveless, shirt - mixing modern and traditional fashions - looked amazing on him. And he had gotten even better; oh, boy had he gotten better. "He's even more muscular then before, but you know, lean, not body building."

"Yeah," Buffy agreed softly, barely able to believe her eyes, both Xander and the perfectly well-oiled machine that was the vampires, who for some reason didn't do anything for the moment. "God he's good, he's gotten even better. If this was a year ago, and I was over there, I'd be dinner about now. And since when do vamps dress color coordinated?"

"That's what you notice?" Willow questioned half-annoyed, half-amused, her heart flaring for her girlfriend.

Xander looked around suspiciously, wondering why the vampires waited, some moaning and recovering vampires that Xander had faced rejoining the group. Then there was an hardy laughter, joined by an one-man, or one-vamp, applause, and a group of vampires parted for one of them to step forward. Like the other vampires he was in red and black colors, but unlike the others he stood out by a much more regal look. His long leather, mostly dark red coat, was closed from neck to middle with clasps. The coat was sleeveless, and a round, metal crest was on the right part of its chest. There were a few more small metal ornaments on his being. The other vampires, Xander now noticed, had the same, but a much smaller crest just under their shoulder. "Impressive," the brunet vampire spoke in a cultured voice with an Italian accent. "I am Augustino Pietrantoni."

"Xander Harris," Xander returned carefully, while Buffy and Willow gave each other a look from the corner of their eyes. Xander asked the guy, "Any reason why you Nazi-wannabes managed to relocate here?"

"You and the girls," the Italian vampire spoke casually. "I hate the Hellmouth you know. Been here before; the whole place just plane stinks, influences everything to go wrong . . . even if you're evil. So when I heard of Slayer guarding the place I couldn't care less; had the pleasure of eating a few, tasty, intoxicating, so much power to suck into you, but after you've had a few." The vampire shrugged, "Not enough for me to care . . . then though, there were suddenly reports several people much stronger than Slayers. Now that, is something I couldn't pass up. I have the numbers."

"No, you don't," Xander said almost casually. Pietrantoni smirked, and then his smirk faltered when he realized Xander wasn't bluffing - he didn't feel fear, just a nervous anticipation. Xander continued, "These buffoons and you are pathetic." The growls increased in volume, the vampires getting pissed off.

"Really? You seemed to have trouble with but a few," the Italian said calmly, but obviously pissed off. "I've trained my soldiers well, as you've seen."

Xander chuckled and let it grow into a laugh, the vampires growls grew. "Xander? How about not pissing off the nice vampires who outnumber us fifteen to one?" Willow suggested a little afraid.

"Willow, Buffy, stay out of this, you hear, these dipshits are mine," Xander told his friends sternly, looking at them forcibly for a moment, pointing at them. Xander turned back to the lead vamp, and told him, "Granted, compared to a standard vamp your choir faggots are pretty well trained, but to me." Xander shrugged theatrically, "I could kill them all without holding a weapon - in fact . . ." With the vampires' tempers mounting Xander tossed his staked to his left, then reached in his jacket, pulling his remaining four stakes out, and tossed them around him, much to Buffy's and Willow's shock. "I'm going to dust each and every one of you, without touching those stakes," Xander said with a grin, gesturing to the pieces of wood. The vampires growled angrily. Xander casually turned half around, and looked over his shoulder at the vampires behind Buffy and Willow, "And I do mean each and every one of you, come on, don't tell me you're chicken." Xander made a come here gesture with his right index fingers. The vampires growled and came forward, much to Buffy and Willow's dislike, but were relieved when the vampires seemed to pass them by; at the same time they got even more afraid - afraid for Xander.

The vampires were beyond pissed, that much was obvious, they were all vamped out, and growling loudly, only barely keeping the discipline to wait for their masters order. "XANDER!" Buffy screamed in shock, while Willow shrieked out his name as well. "YOU CAN'T DO THIS! NOT EVEN YOU ARE THIS GOOD, AND YOU'RE NOT ARMED!"

"**-WILLOW, BUFFY, STAY PUT IF YOU VALUE YOUR HEALTH!-"** Xander commanded forcibly.

"XANDER!" Willow shrieked again, wanting to go forward, but Buffy grabbed her around the face, and the other arm around her waist.

"We trust him, right?" Buffy said with a trembling voice. Willow stopped struggling, but kept watching with wide eyes filled with terror.

"If you're done keeping your little women out of men's business," Augustino spoke in a mixture of a hiss and a growl, "**-KILL HIM! Whoever does, may drain him dry, and take whatever of his power lies in his blood!-"**

With enraged growls the vampires, including the leader, charged to Xander, where six clashed with him at the same time; even enraged, they showed enough discipline to walk in each other's way. Xander casually blocked one punch, and zipped to his right to avoid the others, but not just to do that. Careful to keep his own temper and temperature cool, he started going in circles. Without haste he blocked attacks from the vampires, and ignored when they hit him, focusing totally on stay upright and continuing to make his ever smaller circles. One vampire was fed up, and simply jumped into the air; too late.

Xander reached his middle, and made an uppercut, but doing much more, pulling and throwing the energy he'd been gathering into the air, yelling, "HIRYU SHOTEN HA!" Vampires' body temperature never reached above the temperature around them, but the technique didn't need their body temperature, it needed the temperature of their life, or in this case unlife energy; and with their rage it was far more than enough. There was a flash of light, accompanied by a roar and dragon made of energy pulled up out the ground around Xander, multiple spirals of old and hot energy forming together to make up the beast. It roared and shot high into the air.

Buffy's and Willow's hadn't stopped being wide, but now it was of astonishment. Buffy's hand slipped from Willow's mouth, and the redhead muttered, "Is that a dragon?"

Then all hell broke loose. Suddenly there was a massive twister, and it sucked up everything that was loose, and not so loose, including all the vampires, the stakes, and Xander. Worse, the grass and some of the earth it was planted in was ripped from the ground, leaves from trees were torn off, and even branches.

"Aaah!" Buffy and Willow screamed in fright, their hair whipping toward the twister, as well as their skirts and shirts which threatened to be ripped off. In fact, they felt themselves growing light, and giving each other a quickly glance they quickly grabbed ahold of the nearest tree, and held tight.

"Xander's in there," Willow said in shock and fright at the massive twister, watching a part of the hedge being torn out of the ground and into it.

Xander was indeed inside, being pulled along in the twisting motion. "Ouch," Xander muttered, totally unhearable above the twister's roar, "mental note; forty-five chi twister to be avoided if possible." Especially when he saw one of the two gate doors of the cemetery entrance fly by, along with a screaming vampire that had grabbed onto it for dear unlife. "Okay, time to end this," Xander told himself with a grin, "before Ranma and me trained on this thing together, this was totally out of control, but we figured something out." Xander closed his eyes, and felt his own still cold energy, and the hot energy tied to it, and then felt out to his stakes. Taking subtle breaths, and flexing his muscles and with it his energy, the stakes suddenly started changing course. A vampire slammed straight into one, which came out the other end with the speed differences, and then it dusted. Another stake slammed into a vampire from the back, another shot upward into a vampire's chest. Vampires started dusting rapidly, more and more. The poof usually accompanying the dusting process, completely washed out by the thunderous tornado. Soon only the leader remained, helplessly twisting and flailing about, screaming in rage. Xander came floating close by, and with a grin he wiggled his empty hands at him. Then a stake destroyed him too.

With all of them dead, Xander took ahold of the energies, and subtlely let them disrupt the twisters internal balance more and more. Soon the twister evaporated, leafs, grass, branches, and a metal gate slamming into the ground, while Xander landed.

Willow and Buffy reopened their eyes, and looked over at the calm, but messed up cemetery. Xander stood in the middle, and held out his hands, the stakes falling in them, and smoothly started putting them away, eyes closed he said with a grin, "Told them no hands."

"Xander!" two girls voices exclaimed and two girls slammed into him, enveloping him in a relieved hug.

"I'm fine, guys . . ." Xander said with a grin, and then trailed off. Did he really feel skin? His eyes opened and two shredded sets of girls clothing floated down around him. He looked down and saw the girls only wearing shoes, socks, bras and panties. "Oops," he said.

The girls' eyes opened, and then remember feeling their clothes torn off of them a little earlier. They quickly backed away from Xander and looked at them. Xander couldn't help but give a laugh, "You two are looking good though."

"Xander!" Buffy shrieked and nailed him on his upper arm, making him rub it. Then she did what Willow had already done; clasping their arms around their breasts, and over their crotches.

Willow gave an embarrassed shriek, and quickly went over to gather some of the destroyed clothes, hoping to get a few pieces big enough to cover up somewhat. Buffy followed her example on the other side. Willow bent down to gather up some . . . giving Xander one hell of a view of her string-clad - or perhaps unclad - ass. "Wow, Willow," Xander blurted out before he could stop himself.

Willow frowned, and then realized what he was showing him bent over. She shrieked, straightened up, turned and put her hand holding a torn skirt behind her ass. "Xander!" she exclaimed, and then realized this way she kept her crotch uncovered for him, and quickly brought her hand back forward again, a torn shirt now in front of her breasts. She was hunched over, and half bent trying to keep everything covered.

"Sorry," he said, "I'll try to keep my eyes closed."

"They're still open," Buffy said annoyed, looking up from her bent over position, to check up on her lover's shriek and Xander's comment.

"Uh, I guess so," Xander said and turned to Buffy, and smiled as he saw her from the side bent over, with legs spread practically in a porn pose inviting him to take her from behind.

Buffy frowned at him looking. "Ack! Xander!" she said, and quickly straightened up, "You bastard!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but it isn't like I wouldn't see anything more if we'd be at the beach . . . we really should go there one of these days, for a Scooby day out," he said with a big grin.

"Ugh!" Buffy exclaimed, and quickly walked over to Willow; rather awkwardly trying to keep the torn clothes to cover everything up - except her ass; nothing big enough to wrap around.

"Oh, god this is embarrassing, we still have to go back home!" Willow said with wide eyes, looking down at her condition, "how are we going to get back home without everyone seeing us?"

"Change at the Library," Buffy said annoyed, "tree to tree, and Xander will have to say if the coast is clear."

"Sure, and you have my heartfelt apology for ripping up your-" Xander halted his speech as two pairs of eyes glared at him.

"Well, Xan, take a good look, and savor that hug, because you'll never get to touch it ever again," Buffy told Xander royally pissed off, making Xander look confused. "Willow and me are a couple now, we've making love regularly already, and we're only for each other now." Buffy nodded with satisfaction at that.

"What?" Xander said, a little hurt. He blinked several times, and then gave a laugh. Willow and Buffy didn't laugh. "No joke then. You're just saying that out of spite, right?"

"Nope," Willow told him with a glare, "spite is just the timing." The she moved over, and gave Buffy a passionate kiss, that the Slayer returned. Xander watched shocked, and notice how easy and comfortable the love flowed between the two: they really were a couple. It partly broke his heart, partly made him relieved, and partly felt happy for his two best friends.

"Congratulations, guys," Xander said a little forlorn, and remembered the fun he had had in Tokyo with Lotion, and the stolen kisses. The Amazon was amazing as well, and he even felt warm and happy around her; just like he did with Buffy and Willow of course, so he was pretty sure his crush, budding love there, could blossom fully; so nothing was lost, not really.

"Quite staring, start guiding, you male," Buffy huffed at him, carefully holding the tatters to cover her private parts, and started walking.

"Okay," Xander said as they passed him by, and he turned round, looking directly at their buttocks; nicely on display. He smiled; two sexy butts. Willow and Buffy suddenly froze, realizing at the same time, and switched the torn clothes from front to back.

"Xander, front!" Willow said.

-----

Buffy and Willow quickly zipped behind a tree, and leaned against it with their back sides. They huffed, having made quick sprints from tree to tree, while being hunched over and covering up; and it had taken its toll. They looked past the tree. Across the street was the school. They had many a close call, but had made it so far. Xander arrived casually, smirking.

"Xander," Buffy admonished him, and then blushed, realizing the two of them had run over from the last tree without covering their backsides which had been pointing toward Xander. Willow next to her whimpered admonishments to herself that she should have noticed.

"Looking great, guys, one more street," Xander said, looking left and right, and then walking onward to go check out the side street, while Buffy and Willow remained grumbling frustrated at Xander's double meaning, and he was obviously aware as he chuckled lightly and shook his head.

"I'm gonna kill him," Buffy muttered in frustration, and waited. "Damn it, Xander! Can we go or not?"

"Hold on a bit, let me be-" Xander started.

"DAMN IT! MAKE UP YOUR MIND! CLEAR OR NOT!" Buffy screamed in frustration.

"Okay, clear!" Xander replied, and Buffy and Willow twisted along either side of the tree, and ran. They quickly zipped across the street, hoping nobody was looking in the houses behind them. Soon they reached the pavement on the other side, the school's parking lot was just in front of them, and the school grounds and building behind that.

With screeching tires a convertible came around the left corner, and then it slammed on the breaks. "AAH!" Buffy and Willow exclaimed in horror, quickly trying to turned around, and noticed Xander coming back into view from the same left on the parking lot. They'd be showing their ass to him again. They struggled to move the tatters to cover their asses, while still turning around, but the boys in the car were seeing, and would be seeing their panties from the front.

"WOOHOO!" one boy, standing tall in the now very slowly moving car yelled at Willow and Buffy. A lout cat whistle with two fingers followed from another.

"Oh, god!" Buffy exclaimed, while Willow whimpered. They had reached a patch of grass, and were trying to do multiple things at the same time, the soft ground gave and the two collided together, and threatened to fall. They grabbed a hold of each other to keep from falling, dropping the tatters, and looking shocked into each others eyes, showing of their bodies, clad in only shoes, socks, bras, and panties for all too see.

"OH YEAH, STRIPTEASE!" another of the boys screamed, obviously turned out.

"ROSENBERG! SUMMERS! WOW! YOU TWO WERE HOT BEFORE, NOW YOUR SCORCHING!" another yelled from the barely moving car.

"BABES, PLEASE MAKE THAT YOUR NEW SCHOOL ATTIRE!" the driver yelled, and the guys laughed out loud, before speeding off again.

Buffy and Willow looked wounded into each others eyes, and then heard more laughing, practically giggling. They looked up, glaring at Xander. "I'm sorry, it's just too-" Xander said, barely able to contain himself long enough to say that, his chest already shuddering with new laughter.

Glaring the two girls wanted to move to punish him, but still holding each other and half imbalanced, they went completely out of balance, and dropped unceremoniously to the grasp. Xander's laughter doubled in volume. "Ah!" Buffy complained, and then slumped in defeat.

Willow whimpered, growled, and then said vindictively, "When those four are at the Bronze, I'm so not going to dance, giving them a another show."

"Yeah," Buffy agreed, nodding, growing even more annoyed with the whole situation, and Xander's giggling in particular. Especially since . . . Buffy grabbed some tatters, and angrily shoved them in front of her, and said, "God damn it! You said it was clear!"

Xander slowed his laugher a bit, and shook his head, saying, "No, I wanted to say I wanted to make extra sure, but you demanded an answer right away. It seemed clear then."

Buffy fumed at him, growling, and then hissed at herself in defeat and self-depravation. "Let's just get to the spare clothes!" Buffy said, and helped Willow up, and then they quickly moved, Xander still chuckling.

-----

Buffy finished putting on a pair of slacks and came back out Giles' office. Willow was right behind her, and they rounded the counter. "Ah, that's better," Buffy said, and looked over at Xander who was leaning against the counter, sniffling. "Damn it, Xander," Buffy told him annoyed, "quit it already."

"I'm sorry," Xander said, but start laughing again; which he kept in him, but the jerking of his chest gave it away.

"What?" Willow asked with a sudden insight. Xander giggled as he kept his lips closed. While Buffy looked confused at Willow, still angry at Xander. "What, damn it? What's still so funny?"

"Okay, okay," Xander said, holding his hands up in defeat, "I just think it's funny how easily you agreed with Buffy's plan. Couldn't you just have cast a glamour to give the illusion you were wearing clothes?"

Willow and Buffy were suddenly rooted to the floor, wrapping their minds around what Xander said, Buffy growing more depressed by the moment. Willow closed her eyes though, anger growing. "Wait," Buffy said, realizing what Willow had known right away, "if you find it so funny still, you must have known-"

"XANDER HARRIS!" Willow shrieked, and burst forward. She jumped Xander and grabbed him by the throat, squeezing. Xander dropped down to his ass and further with the sudden impact, even as he burst out laughing again, fully, loudly. Xander laughed, even as Willow squeezed and yelled, "You let us do that stupid while . . . aah!" Xander laughed, and Buffy came forward, a little concerned Willow might actually be trying to kill Xander. Willow wasn't though, she let go of his throat, sitting up, and clenched her teeth in frustration. She brought her fists up, and slammed then down on Xander's chest in her frustration, without really any power behind it. She was frustrated at Xander's laughing, and at him keeping the solution to him, but she was mostly frustrated at something welling up inside her, something she did not want to let. This whole thing was bad, it was not a laughing matter. But still the event replayed in her mind; sprinting, hiding, shrieking, trying to keep covered, switching, almost getting caught twice, the whole event with the boys in the car - like a bunch of morons in a slapstick movie, and they could have just casually walked over, or even just home without a care in the world. She landed her fists on Xander's chest again, and a chuckle escaped. The damn burst in Willow burst out laughing, giggling, sniffling, tears forming with the intensity of it.

Buffy paused centimeters away from the two, and looked incredulously at both of them laughing. Willow even! And she had gone through it. "Well," Buffy said with a huff, and folded her arms across her chest with her annoyance. "This isn't funny!" she then exclaimed as the pair didn't stop.

Willow looked over, still laughing, and laughing harder as she saw the frowning Buffy, then she and Xander laughed harder even as Buffy started pouting as a result. "Yes, it is, Buffy, yes it is," Willow snickered out.

"No, it's not," Buffy said, but feeling laughter grow in her as well. She tried to refuse it, but the absurdity of the situation was getting to her. Soon she was giggling and laughing as well, and let herself drop to the floor, enveloping her friends in a hug, shaking with laughter.

After a while, their laughter died down a bit, and then Willow nudged Buffy twice with her elbow. Buffy looked up and Willow said, "Not dancing in the Bronze? With the way we gave it away, we should just go to their homes and give them free lapdances."

And their laughter started all over again. When their laughter started slowing again, Xander said, "They're probably going to tell everyone what they saw! Everyone in school will know!" And they started laughing again.

Not for long, because Buffy suddenly stopped laughing, frowned, and said, "Hey, that's actually not funny at all." A moment later Willow stopped her laughter as well, and Xander followed suit.

They looked at each other and then Willow enveloped Xander in a hug which he returned, and Buffy hugged them too. "I'm glad you're back, I missed you, Xander," Willow said happily.

"I missed you guys too," Xander replied, and they hugged close.

-----

Cordelia and Oz were sitting next to each other in the library. Across from them were Buffy and Willow. Lotion sat to the right of Cordelia, and across from her sat Xander. Giles was standing at the head of the table, with Jenny next to him. He had his arms around the beautiful woman's waist, and was obviously happy. "Ah, it is good we are all here-" Giles started.

Xander interrupted him, "Yes, indeed! May the forces of darkness tremble in fear, and give up on their nefarious plans, for the Scooby Gang is reunited once more, and all the evildoers will be stopped in their tracks - by a big talking dog!" Xander had everyone tittering with chuckles and laughter, apart from Giles who smiled, and . . .

"As a dog, I don't talk, actually," Oz interjected smoothly.

Xander looked over, and slumped theatrically as all the girls burst into giggles, even Lotion, who usually didn't laugh at American jokes. "Drat, the limelight stolen by the coolness of the werewolf, hmm, perhaps Oz, you have switched over to the dark side since you cross me so."

"Just that cool," Oz returned, and the girls laughed again, and Xander grinned.

"He is," Cordelia confirmed and kissed Oz quickly but lovingly on his cheek.

Giles pulled the glasses from his face, and cleaned them, taking on an overly overbearing tone, "I see the obligatory dumb jokes are over with." The Scoobies chuckled, and Giles reset his glasses. "As I was saying; after the weekend, the new school year starts, and it's good to be gathered here, so we may catch up on events that have happened to us over the weeks, allowing us to freshly start the new year, keep the world safe once more, and excel in our academics."

Everyone but Jenny looked at him. "This is Jenny's idea, isn't it?"Buffy concluded for everyone.

"I beg your pardon?" Giles spoke culturedly.

Willow smiled, and explained, "It's just you stiff upper lip types don't have the whole let's-talk-happily vibe going."

"That's putting it mildly," Lotion said with a scowl. She was about to go off on one of her tangents, but Giles intervened.

"Of course we do - it's called a tea party, every day at four sharp," Giles stated his British accent to full, "I just put it earlier to accommodate the retarded schedule of you Americans." Jenny chuckled, while the retarded Americans looked at him a little surprised.

"The Giles aims, shoots, and kills us all with one shot; without even using a single 'bloody' or direct name-calling, we have much to learn yet, my fellow padawans," Xander said sagely, gaining as many confused stares as laughter, sometimes both.

"Padawans?" Lotion asked in confusion, making Buffy look at the brunette for heading her off.

"Star Wars - Jedi in training," Oz explained smoothly.

"As I was saying," Giles redirected the conversation to him with a suffering sigh, "I might as well start. Let's see, oh yes, after being unceremoniously dumped in a hospital bed, I spent some three weeks cooped up in there. If British hospital food is bad, American is poison. Luckily for me, Jenny here opted to continue the nursing once I got home - much better cook for one thing. Sadly the injuries kept me from doing much more than getting better, and so I am once again spring as a jiffy."

"Spring as a _/what/_?" Cordelia exclaimed in confusion.

"Jiffy," Giles answered with a sigh.

"What does that mean, 'jiffy'?" Buffy asked confused.

"Nothing," Jenny quickly interrupted before that derailed all this again, "which also nicely sums up what I can add to Giles story; I spent nursing him back to health." Jenny smirked predatory.

"I'm sure the nurse outfits are easy to wash," Cordelia commented dryly, much to Buffy and Willow's shock, while Jenny colored slightly.

"Lotion, how about you first, then we go clockwise," Jenny suggested with a smile, to keep everyone from Cordelia's statement.

"Okay," Lotion started happily, and straightened up to deliver her tale. "Mom and I went on vacation, and Nerima is nuts." There were several frowns, as they wondered where they heard 'Nerima' before. "I didn't arrive, or I had to save Xander from a bunch of freaks outnumbering him! That halfwit with the wooden sword one of them!"

Buffy jumped up out her chair, and screamed angrily, "YOU WENT TO JAPAN AFTER XANDER, YOU CHEATING BITCH!"

Everyone but Lotion looked at Buffy's outburst with wide-eyed surprised. "I no cheat, pig-nosed girl!" Lotion growled back, getting up herself. "Rules say nothing of having vacation where Xander has vacation!"

"Why you- . . .?" Buffy started growling, but Willow grabbed her by the waist admonishing her to stop.

"Come on," Willow said softly, "it isn't like it matters anymore."

With Buffy still grumbling, and partly trying to get at the Amazon, Lotion told her, "Bring it on, bottle blondie, you'll find I've gotten stronger and better of the weeks, I'll-"

"Ahem!" Giles interrupted, making especially the fighting chicks look over at him. As a result Buffy was less inclined to stay, making Willow's yanks enough to dump the Slayer unceremoniously back into her seat. "I do believe the saying goes, 'All's fair in love and war.' So if you two could keep your threats and interruptions aside, we may continue to hear Lotion's story."

Lotion nodded with satisfaction at Buffy. Cordelia said, "Yeah, that only takes extra time, and I've got better things to do than sit here with a bunch of losers like you." Multiple glares were directed his way.

"Can we get back to the story already?" Xander asked exasperated at the whole deal.

"Yes, Lotion, please continue," Jenny added in, and gestured to the Amazon.

Lotion sat back down, and pondered for a moment. "Where was I? Oh, yeah! I had to beat the crap out of a love-struck dimwit, who was in love with Xian Pu! Shampoo is my nemesis back home, apparently she got defeated by male Ranma and you guys knows what that means. Anyway, I beat her! I beat her easily; I hadn't beaten her in years! All because of training with you and Xander!" Lotion explained happily.

Buffy leaned over and muttered under her breath to Willow, "Of course, the dumb Amazon gets all excited about fighting."

Willow looked at Buffy in a strange way as Lotion went on about defeating Shampoo, and then doing it a second time. "What's gotten into you, all of a sudden?" Willow asked Buffy a little confused. "Is this your time of the month or something? You're the Slayer, you get just as excited about fighting as she does. Perhaps even more so."

"I do not," Buffy whispered back.

Willow leaned further and hand in front of her mouth to Buffy's ear she said, "Oh, am I just hallucinating how much more horny and ferocious a lay you are, after a slay." Buffy looked at Willow with a shocked look, surprised Willow had noticed her dark secret; of course, she wondered how she thought Willow wouldn't have noticed with the mindblowing sex. "Hey, that rhymes," Willow added with a surprised grin. Then they both stopped, and felt a little uncomfortable. It was silent too. They payed more attention to the group and noticed everyone looking at them with their arms folded across their chest. Except for Oz, because he was too cool to fold his arms across his chest, and just looked at them relaxedly.

"You two done? I like to continue," Lotion said with a glower.

Willow and Buffy blushed, backed up - the chairs soundly moving a bit - and gave nervous smiles.

"Thank you," Lotion said with finality, and obviously not meaning. Lotion then continued her tale, telling of the weirdness of Nerima, of the old geezer often trying to steal her underwear, or at least grope her everywhere, of Ukyo's love potion-spiked okonomiyaki, of the explorations of Tokyo with Xander, and the occasional fantastic date in fantastic clubs, and may Shampoo win the contest for Ranma's heart, so the great, friendly, manly guy could tame the bitch once and for all.

"Ah, isn't that a bit harsh?" Jenny asked the Amazon a little perturbed.

"No, Shampoo needs taming more than pig-nosed girl and the queen of penis-envy over there," Lotion replied to the question with an innocent grin.

"Listen, you big-boobed bimbo . . . !" Cordelia started with a snarl.

"Yours are bigger than mine," Lotion smoothly interjected.

Cordelia was about ready to burst, and told the girl, "If there's anyone who needs taming it's you, you violence-prone harpy. And if Xander doesn't start soon, I- . . ."

"I wouldn't mind," Lotion interjected again, this time looking at Xander with a sexy grin, eliminating Cordelia's insult with the same stone as the well-aimed flirtatious one. Giles was cleaning his glasses once again, shaking his head at the proceedings.

"Cordelia, you and Oz's turn," Jenny quickly said, before this got even worse.

"Fine," Cordelia spat out, folding her arms across her chest. She took a deep breath to calm herself, and then said, "Me and Oz we didn't do much, apart from hanging out, kissing, and shopping. Oz is such a good boyfriend, he could even help me fashion questions! Oh, and there was that week that dad took us with him to Paris. He had business to attend to, and we could explore the city of lights and love!"

"'We didn't do much,' she says," Willow whispered to Buffy in annoyance and some jealousy. Buffy nodded in agreement.

"Now that's a city with class, and great food, and fantastic clubs, the Eiffel tower, the history, not like dingy Sunnydale here; almost felt bad about being home," Cordelia added with a dreamy look.

"It was exhilarating," Oz confirmed.

"Yes," Giles said with a smile, "Europe has some fine cities to offer, and Paris in particular is magnificent."

"Tokyo was better," Lotion said, feeling the need to one up Cordelia.

"No, it wasn't," Cordelia went against her.

"Of course it was, even if all the other things in Paris were better, Tokyo had Xander," Lotion said with conviction, making Xander squirm uncomfortable and the grown ups look incredulous.

"Paris had Oz, and he trumps dork face over there, anytime," Cordelia returned heatedly.

Before Lotion could make demands, Giles quickly said, "Buffy, I believe it's your turn."

"Our turn," Willow corrected lightly, while Lotion and Cordelia kept glowering at each other.

"Yeah," Buffy agreed with a smile, "Our turn. We've spent our vacation together mostly. We'd had a lot of fun. Going out, just us girls-"

Willow cut in with a grin, "Driving boys crazy with hot sexy dances in tight leather." Xander gave them a thumbs up, while Giles felt the urge to clean his glasses again. Jenny instead smile and wrapped her arms around his waist and kept him from getting too uncomfortable, by making him less uncomfortable in a different way.

"That too," Buffy said with a smile, and Giles looked up at the heavens for a moment, "we made many a trip to our loved, injured Giles, kept him fed with better food than the hospital: hamburgers." Giles looked uncomfortable, and Xander laughed.

"Still less than English hospital food," Giles said, with a regal tone and stance.

As the giggles and chuckles died down, Buffy took over again. "But what the real big thing is that happened, some of you already know, or have at least suspect. We-"

"I think this is something we show, not tell," Willow interrupted, making Buffy turned to her with a surprised look. Willow took Buffy's head by her chin, and lovingly and quickly pulled her over, then kissed her deeply; and then some more deeply. Their tongues met and Buffy was swept up in the sensations and passion. Xander smiled, Cordelia rolled her eyes, Oz remained cool - outward at least, Giles eyes widened, Jenny didn't look surprised, but obviously hadn't 'known known', and Lotion looked with wide eyes.

"Oh, get a room, you two, you would make the end of the world an excuse to make out like a bunch of lust-crazed rabbits. It's getting old, real fast," Cordelia complained with a suffering sigh.

Lotion switched her look from the couple to Xander, back again, and then back to Xander. He smiled at her, and gave her a blink, with a barely perceptible nod. She smiled, while inside she was jumping for joy, screaming, -Yes! Yes! Yes! I won!- to herself.

Buffy and Willow broke the kiss, Buffy sitting back a little flustered. "We fell in love, we're a couple," Willow clarified with a smile, as if there was any doubt left.

"Ah, well, I believe congratulations are in order," Giles managed through being flabbergasted, wondering what his would mean to the grand scheme of things. "Congratulations, Buffy, Willow."

"Yes! Absolutely!" Lotion said happily, grinning widely now. "Congratulations! You're made for each other! I know it'll be an immortal love, sung about in ages to come. You're love will change the world! No more anti-homosexual hate-mongering just because of you, that's how much you will be loved. Stick together, you guys can do it!"

"You're just glad we're off the Xander-market," Buffy ruefully accused the Amazon with a glare.

"Absolutely!" Lotion didn't bother denying it.

"I think it's Xander's turn," Cordelia said with her arms once again folded across her chest, annoyed.


	6. Part 6: Enter Shaten, the Shadow Chick f

----Part 6: Enter Shaten, the Shadow Chick from the Mountains of Japan----

"Damn it, Xander."

It was just after school, several days after the defeat of the vampire ninja. The students were filling out from the building to go back home, or some other place they'd rather be. Lexa, Willow, Buffy and Lotion were standing under the large tree in front of the school, and Lotion was angry.

"Lotion," Lexa tried to calm her down.

"No, you not Lotion me, future husband," Lotion verbally barreled through her attempt, pointing a finger at him. "This not fair, and you know it."

"Whoever said life was fair?" Lexa half-quipped. Judging from the storm growing a couple of notches on Lotion's face, that hadn't been a good idea. "Lotion, you've seen her. Faith looks up to me like I'm god's gift to mankind, and she's still far too hurt to just toss in the deep end. I gotta mentor her a bit, train her physically, train her mentally, get her to focus on all things that she's got to offer herself, give her some self esteem, get her to be on her on two feet. And you know it too."

"But it cuts in our fun time!" Lotion protested greatly annoyed. Lexa looked at her empathically, and she groaned. She folded her arms under her chest, and muttered, "Sometimes I wish you weren't so damn good."

"Would you love me, if I wasn't?" Lexa tried with a smile.

Lotion sulked even more, then said, "Perhaps not, but good does not equal weak. You would have still defeated me in combat, I would still be your fiancee, at least you would be taking advantage of me and we'd be having fun - together. Not being stuck on the sidelines of my own fiance's life."

"I promise, the moment I'll build down the time I spend mentoring Faith, and the moment there's enough free time, you get all the fun I can give you during it, okay?" Lexa said gravely, hoping to calm the incensed Amazon down.

"Fine! I will hold you to that!" Lotion hissed, and then sighed deeply. She looked over to the still silent Buffy and Willow, and asked, "And what's wrong with you two?"

"Huh?" they both said, and turned their heads toward each other. The moment their eyes met, they quickly averted their eyes again. Buffy looked up at Lexa and Lotion, and said, "Uh, I gotta, I gotta go train Kendra - she's lagging behind us, and you know; big ass-kicking. Yeah." Then she quickly hurried off.

"Yeah, and Jenny is waiting for me, doing magic stuff, see ya, Lexa," Willow hurried out, and then ran off in the opposite direction to Buffy.

"What's with them?" Lotion asked confused, looking from the retreating form of Willow to the retreating form of Buffy and back again.

"I got no idea; can't be their period, not according to the calendar," Lexa said thinking over Willow's and Buffy's behavior.

"You've got a calendar!?" Lotion asked surprised and miffed.

Lexa back up a step, and waved his hands to ward the Amazon off. "It was Oz's idea. With the additional numerical estrogen advantage he figured it'd be a good idea. Kendra and Faith aren't on there yet, of course."

"Aargh, where do these girls keep popping up from anyway? Is the Hellmouth a dog and they're the flees!?" Lotion asked out loud, and Lexa gasped. She looked around to see if anyone had picked up what Lotion had said. "Ugh, I'm going to go do some training myself, and don't forget your promise, future husband!"

"I won't," Lexa assured the amazon as she started walking off. Then Lexa breathed out a sigh of relief, and walked off to the right, toward where she knew Faith would be waiting.

A minute later Lexa reached the other brunette who was leaning against the school building. Her face looked like a thunder storm; which was no doubt the reason none of the guys who were checking out the girl in tight brown leather pants and blue tight tank top had the guts to go up to her. A backpack was slung over Faith's right shoulder. She looked up and noticed Lexa coming to her. Her face softened, but was she was obviously still annoyed. "I can't believe you made me go to school, especially with this stupid backpack, I look like a goody goody schoolgirl," Faith said darkly, showing said backpack. The backpack was dark green, with a Supergirl picture prominently on the front, along with smaller pictures at the side.

Lexa smiled as she took in Faith's appearance. "Trust me, Faith, you look nothing like a goody goody schoolgirl; for that you'd have to be wearing a pleaded skirt, would look good on you," Lexa thought, picturing Faith in a traditional schoolgirl uniform.

"Don't you dare!" Faith almost screamed in horror, then she deflated and pulled the backpack to the front, showing the Supergirl picture prominently to Lexa. "Look at this. This would be bad enough without the stupid comic book picture! But it's got some dumb, girl scout flying blonde in a miniskirt on it. I didn't even bring a bag to my old school!"

"That was probably your main problem right there," Lexa said with a slight smile.

For a moment Faith looked angrily at Lexa, and then she deflated even more. She looked at Lexa miserably, but admiring, and whimpered, "How could you do this to me?"

"Faith," Lexa said with a big smile, while she slung her arm around the leather-clad brunette and turned her around to face the same direction as she was. "I want you to get in touch with your softer side," Lexa said as she started walking forward, Faith coming along.

"I don't have a softer side," Faith sulked, putting the backpack back over her shoulder as she walked next to her friend and admired mentor, who lowered her arm from Faith's shoulders.

Lexa smiled as she said, "And I don't like girls, so we're even." Faith turned her head to look at Lexa with annoyance. Lexa smile at her as they reached the pavement and turned toward Lexa's apartment. "Look, I don't want to turn you into mush mush, but we both know your hard as nails exterior is a mask."

"I'm tough," Faith protested, looking around to see if any of the other students were close enough to pick up on their weird, and extremely personal conversation. None of them were.

"Yes, you are, Faith, and that's why unwilling to face the soft inside of you is so odd," Lexa explained, and slung her arm back around Faith's shoulder; a little awkwardly because the backpack was in the way. "You see, completely hard and inflexible makes you brittle. Some softness makes you flexible, you can bend and absorb blows, be they physical or emotional. Something punches through that brittle, tougher looking than it is exterior of yours, and everything you've bottled up inside will spill out."

Faith sniffed lightly, looking down and remembering her breaking down with Buffy; she didn't want her hero to see her like that; and yet her hero wanted to see her like that. It seemed contradictory; Lexa now wanted her to show how tough she was by coming into touch and showing that weakness. Just as strange; she remembered how the breaking down and showing all that weakness to the blonde Slayer, had indeed made her feel stronger, strong enough to erect all her walls again and show off her strength to Lexa. Somehow, the first experience, made it both less daunting and more daunting at the same time. "So what do you want to do now?" Faith asked Lexa.

"Now?" Lexa said with a grin, "Well, first we go home, then we have some coffee and girl talk, and then we train martial arts."

"Girl talk? I don't do girl talk, and that's not a mask. And you're a guy underneath this body, since when do guys do girl talk?" Faith whined, trying to get out from under it.

"Since they're girls half the time," Lexa said with a smile, and a wiggle of her eyebrows.

"I'm doomed," Faith said, deflating.

-----

Buffy and Kendra exchanged rapid blows inside the library. Suddenly Buffy went down and made a leg sweep. Kendra jumped over it, but Buffy was too fast; the blonde immediately jumped up into an uppercut, and hit Kendra in her chin while she was still in the air. The exotic Slayer slammed into the ground, and gave a grunt and a whine. "Ow," she complained.

Buffy took a step forward, toward over the downed Kendra, and smiling down evilly, she said, "For every time Xander or Lotion kicked my ass during training, I'm gonna kick your ass, unless you get good enough to stop me."

"That should be sufficient incentive."

Buffy and a groaning Kendra turned their heads at the interruption. Giles, impeccably British as usual, had come out of his office and was now watching the proceedings from behind the library counter. "I thought so," Buffy said evilly, while helping up Kendra.

"But ees eet thee most effecteeve methad?" Kendra asked dubiously.

"That is a good point, Buffy," Giles pointed out, liking the interplay between the Slayers and looked questioningly at Buffy.

The blonde rolled her eyes and answered him, "It's not as if I'm doing nothing but kicking her ass. I am actually teaching her stuff before having her put it into practice."

"Yes, well, Kendra, the council has confirmed; like Faith you are to stay here for now, under my care. They specifically refused to say if you are to get a new watcher other than me. I would venture a guess that they are still deliberating on that," Giles announced.

Kendra nodded with understanding, to say, "I am glad; I like eet eer. Friends ees better dahn no friends."

"And Buffy Summers is right again, it never changes, sometimes it gets boring," Buffy said with a grin, folding her arms across her chest smugly.

"And den Xander keecks your ass for vahriatee," Kendra replied casually.

"Hey! You're supposed to be the good, obedient, silent type," Buffy complained at the sudden jab.

Kendra smiled Buffy, and told her, "Friends are bad eenfluens, ent of course, eef not pheeseecallee, I must strike bahck verballee."

"Oh, yeah?" Buffy asked and smoothly swiped Kendra's legs out from under her. The exotic Slayer slammed onto the wooden floor with a grunt. "Strike that."

"I see you two are getting along splendidly, carry on," Giles said, and turned away, walking back to his office, reflecting on being so fortuitous he didn't need to do the training himself anymore with a light smile. He picked up the envelope he had received earlier, and opened it. He perused through it, and his good mood vanished. He lowered the letter, and looked forward stoically, thinking deeply.

-----

"So, how about boys?" The question was a fair one. In the last half an hour, drinking coffee in the coffee shop, they had talked about all kinds of things; like school, the weather, their past, the one thing that hadn't come up.

"Use 'em and loose 'em," was Faith's answer, and finished unpacking a cookie that she started to eat.

"That's it?" Lexa asked her new student, trying to figure out if it was the mask slipping back in place or the way she really thought.

Faith chewed her cookie self-consciously. With her mouth still full she shrugged, and said, "Screwing is all they're good for anyway."

"You're talking to one, remember?" Lexa pointed out a little incredulously. Faith looked down with some shame, and then shrugged. "What happened that made you think like that anyway?"

Faith looked up, and grinned evilly at Lexa, "Wanna see how good I am?"

Lexa smiled, allowing the change of subject; knowing Faith just wasn't ready to open up that can of worms so soon. "I'll take your word for it," Lexa said with a smile.

"I sure would wanna see how good you are," Faith said with an even bigger grin. Lexa raised her eyebrows at Faith. "Oh, come on. I know you're my mentor and shit, but you're a guy that's a girl half the time. You know what's like to have a nice big juicy . . ." Lexa wasn't a prude, but this was going far, and so she was nervously looking around whether any people could over here. Faith's evil smile didn't falter when she finished softly, "shaft up there. Nice and big, and all the right spots, and uh . . ." Sitting in her chair didn't keep Faith from putting her hand between her legs and making a rude movement with her pelvis. "You must be amazing in the sack," she finished.

"Uh, yeah, well . . ." Lexa said, lightly self-conscious.

For a moment Faith thought she had actually managed to embarrass Lexa into silence, but then she suddenly got an acute insight. "You're a virgin," Faith said softly, with large eyes full of marvel.

"Of course not; I'm not exactly as experienced as you, but I'm not a virgin," Lexa said, lightly offended.

"With girls, just with girls," Faith said with her complete understanding, and Lexa stayed silent. That was all the confirmation Faith needed, and completely forgetting she was in a public place, she spoke with rising volume, "Not with guys. You haven't been with a guy. No man's ever given it to you good and hard and deep! Oh, I _/so/_ have _/got/_ to get you **-laid-**!"

Lexa was pale as Faith leaned back leisurely, grinning widely imagining how best to go about her first project. People were staring at the couple, and Lexa got up rapidly. "Al right, big mouth," she said as she fished her wallet out of the back pocket of her jeans. She dumped the money on the table, yanked her and Faith's coats from the couch, and grabbed Faith by her upper arm, dragging her along, "we're getting out of here."

"But I didn't finish my cookie," Faith complained as she tried to grasp the plastic wrapped treat still lying next to the saucer of her coffee.

"You've had enough cookies for the day," Lexa said hastily, as she pulled Faith fully upright. The Potential stumbled for a moment, before they reached the front door and they exited. Lexa handed Faith her jacket and put her own on. "I cannot believe you did that out loud."

Faith grinned as she put on her jeans jacket, and told her, "I still have to get you laid. You're going to **-love-** it!"

"I've got Lotion," Lexa said defensively, looking around and glad the street was mostly empty.

"Oh, come on," Faith said with a grin, quickly passing Lexa. She turned around and walked backward to be able to look her mentor in the eye. "The real thing that defines a woman isn't her period, it's getting fucked."

"I think some people would disagree with that," Lexa protested a little.

"Then some people are wrong," Faith wiped away the protest smoothly, still walking backward. "Which is besides the point anyway. We were just having our little 'girl talk' . . ." Faith made the quotations in the air, ". . . and I distinctly remember you telling me you wanted to find out what it's like to be a girl, and that being straight as a guy, you were straight as a girl, and you're now essentially bisexual. There's no way in hell you can deny that in order to understand what's it like to be a girl, you must have had at least one good old fashioned uh." Faith once again had her hand in her pelvis and made the lewd gesture.

Lexa paused, and looked up at the sky, raising her hands in despair, and said, "God help me."

"Not hearing a denial," Faith singsonged, standing still herself, grinning evilly.

Lexa pointed at Faith, and told her, "Still got Lotion." She walked on again.

Faith turned around and walking next to her, looking up at the taller girl, she said, "Who is your fiancee, and all butch Amazon. If she really loves you, she understands you had to learn it yourself, get it out of your system so to speak. Plus, it's like a guy not minding his girl being with another girl, especially if he can join in. You know I'm right, big old Amazon would be proud to have a man with that much confidence, especially if it means you'd get even better in the sack." Faith took the time to wiggle her eyebrows at Lexa, "You're not telling me you aren't intrigued, I know you are, at the very least at the instinctual level or you wouldn't be checking out guys." Lexa stopped her walking, and Faith passed her and turned around again, facing her. "Admit it, or come up with one hell of a good denial to convince me."

Lexa sighed, and looked down, emotions warring inside of her. She looked at Faith, eyes up, head still down, and gave a naughty smile. Feeling the irrational need to be sneaky and secretive, Lexa admitted, "I've been . . . intrigued."

Faith made a happy jump in the air; which on the leather-clad girl looked so wrong. Then she brought her right index and middle fingers to her mouth, give it a suggestive lick, and said, "Mind wandering, huh? A little self-induced uh."

Lexa shook her head with a suffering sigh, even as she couldn't keep a smile off her face, "You're a menace."

"I've been called worse," Faith answered with an evil grin on her face that seemed glued there.

"Well, don't think I'm just going to jump the nearest guy I come across," Lexa noted somewhat wryly.

"Of course not," Faith said with a disapproving tone, "This is your first time. We'll set a date, so we can live toward it, get the anticipation going, have the juices running, make you so damn horny by that time you are about willing to jump the nearest guy you come across."

"I take it back," Lexa commented, and resumed walking, passing Faith, "you're worse than a menace."

"Still called worse," Faith said with a grin, falling in step, and making Lexa roll her eyes.

-----

**Night**

**Cemetery**

Two urns stood side by side in the urn wall. Several other ruined ones were in the same wall, but they were old, and most of them long destroyed. The two urns though, were new, and in good condition. One had 'Angel' written on it with golden letters; the other carried the name 'Jesse McNally'. Suddenly out of nowhere, a lightning bolt pierced the events, and slammed through the urn carrying 'Angel'. Both urns shattered immediately, and the ashes of both urns were strewn about - except for a small whirlwind of ashes. Electricity crackled through it, and whirling about the ashes came together, finally coalescing with an extra powerful spark into a nude figure, that dropped to the ground instantly, groaning weakly.

Angel looked around, shivering, and whispered, "What?"

-----

Buffy and Oz finished the cemetery, and stepped back on the pavement. They were both in loose, but not too loose clothes, perfect for fighting. "Well, that was that," Buffy said with a bored tone.

"Nothing," Oz said with a nod. "Maybe we should add seedy bars, and warehouses to our patrols?"

Buffy shrugged, and said, "We're underage; what are we gonna do? Beat up the bouncers?"

"Even seedier bars then," Oz said casually. Buffy turned her head to look at him in confusion, and was about to ask, when it dawned on her.

"Oh, yeah, bars so seedy they don't care about ID, huh?" Buffy said with a frown. "They exist in Sunnydale?"

"We'd have to look," Oz answered, and then gave her an uncharacteristic smile.

Buffy looked left and right, and realized that their houses were in different directions. One walking the other home would be a waste; the one doing it, would still have to go back to his or her own home the entire way alone. "I guess this is where we part ways," Buffy said, and Oz nodded. "See ya tomorrow, Oz."

"Ditto, Buffy," Oz said, and Buffy turned right, while Oz went left.

Buffy walked casually, liking her life right now. She wondered if she should make a detour to Willow's, feeling slightly guilty, but eventually decided against it. As such she walked toward her house, passing houses some with neat gardens, some overgrown with weeds. Then someone half naked half-staggered from a drive way onto the pavement. His bare back was to Buffy, but it was obvious the pants he was wearing hadn't come out of his own wardrobe; the pipes were much too short for one thing. The male turned around, and Buffy's heart skipped a beat; then decided to skip a couple more. "Buffy," the male said with a groan in his voice.

"Angel," Buffy said shocked.

"Wh-what happened? I feel like I haven't seen you in months, something about . . . oh, god," Angel stammered out.

Ouch! Buffy had used her considerable Slayer and martial-arts-training enhanced strength to pinch herself in multiple places along her left arm; but she wasn't waking up. This wasn't a dream. "Buffy?" Angel asked again, and then his eyes widened as a fist moved rapidly toward him, and smashed into his nose. Then all went dark.

-----

With a groan Angel regained consciousness, and found himself into very thick chains, which kept him stuck to a pillar; a pillar in a factory. The factory was familiar and he remembered things inside it, he didn't remember doing.

Buffy finished locking the heavy thick chains she had luckily found and tasted to be powerful enough to restrain a vampire. "B-Buffy, what's this?" Angel asked the Slayer.

Buffy took a step back, shivering, as he looked at her former boyfriend. This couldn't be real. "You lost your soul, I dusted your soulless ass, so not with the trusting," Buffy said emotionlessly. "You could be him, messing with me. How the fuck did you get back to life anyway?"

Angel was shocked at Buffy's use of the expletive; he hadn't ever heard her talk like that; but then he supposed this was an appropriate time. Buffy herself was surprised it had slipped out herself, but payed it no heed, working to keep her emotions in check. "I don't know; I just woke up in a graveyard and didn't know up from down," Angel muttered, testing the chains a bit, and finding himself truly unable to move. Angel looked back up, letting his gaze move up Buffy's body, and pausing at her hands; she wasn't wearing the ring he had given her. "You're not in love with me anymore," Angel stated, half as fact, half as an accusation. He looked up in Buffy's anguished face and wished he could take her pain from her. "When?"

"Do you really want to know?" Buffy asked, thinking hard over what Angel had said. Graveyard; no doubt where his urn had been. But how? Angel nodded, painfully. "The moment we started having sex; when you've had a living being, burning with passion for you, blood pounding in his veins, delicious smells of sweat entering your nostrils, you really notice when you're having sex with a cold, clammy, corpse." Angel looked down both ashamed and hurt, as much for himself as for Buffy.

Buffy meanwhile, had an epiphany. The lightning strike she and Oz had seen and heard! Just one. She was going to report it to Giles in the morning, but she had a pretty good idea what that had been. A lightning- "Oh, my god!" Buffy exclaimed, and then felt sick to her stomach. She had an impulse to run right away, but a momentary thought struck her. She turned and looked around. The factory was still littered with lots of things; some left by the vampires, most from even before. She had to be able to find a plastic bag, a pan and duster in this place. And so she went rummaging about hastily, looking for the stuff. Angel watched her frantic search with confusion. To Buffy's relief, it did not take long to find the items she needed.

As Buffy figured out the best way to transport the things along, Angel asked, "So, Xander?"

Buffy took the momentary time to look up at Angel, and said, "No." For a moment Angel seemed hopeful, until Buffy added, "I'm with Willow now. I'll be back." Then Buffy sped off, leaving a befuddled Angel.

-----

Buffy ran through the cemetery, the only thing holding back her tears was the hope that she didn't have to shed them. If any vampires were about to see Buffy zipping by with almost unimaginable speed, they'd run away scared. As such, it did not take her long to get to the urn cabinet; what was left of it. The Slayer skidded to a halt, and looked with horror at the place. It was ruined, and not like before, and the two urns that had born names were destroyed. Some dust; possibly ashes; was all around, but Buffy knew from the weight of a full urn, most of it had already been blown away by the wind. "No," she whimpered and felt tears for her friends finally detach from her eyes. She heaved in air with difficulty - her friends had suffered enough for all her failures and mistakes - they had lost their friend, Jenny had lost an uncle, and now they'd lost the only tangible remains of their friend. She sank to her knees, sobbing, as she remembered sitting with Xander and Willow on several occasions since she placed Angel's urn next to Jesse's. Just sitting there, grieving and taking inspiration from the ashes; why they were fighting, to make sure it never happened again - or at least keep the occurrences down as much as possible. As she sobbed, cried and remembered she pulled out the duster, and a bag she had found in the factory, and tried to gather up the ashes. After a few attempts and swiping it from the grass and sand into the bag she gave up; the little ash she got in there, was mixed with an almost equal amount of sand, and some grass, and most of it had been blown away anyway.

Buffy let go of the duster and the plastic bag, and let herself fall backward, landing on her back. She jerked and sobbed as she cried, bringing her hands to her eyes. Then she slammed her hands to the ground on either side, denting it, and screamed, "You bastards! Whoever you are! Why couldn't you leave him dead!? Things were good! At least move his urn away from Jesse's . . . you stinking, god damned, sickening . . . AAAHH!!"

She curled up and sobbed some more before making up her mind. She got up, got the duster and the bag, and left.

-----

"Willow?" Buffy asked as she peaked behind the narrowly opened door to Willow's bedroom, keeping the bag with no more than a hundred grams of ash, along with some other substances behind her. She felt ashamed and guilty, and extremely nervous.

"Hey, Buffy," Willow greeted from her bed, already in pyjama's. They were rather cute, white with a flower pattern, and Buffy knew them well enough to know they looked good on her girlfriend, but that's not why she was here. "Come on in," Willow said with a light frown as Buffy didn't enter immediately.

"Hi," Buffy said, as she nervously took small steps into Willow's room, shaking a little. This just couldn't be good. As the plastic bag came into view along with a slowly, step by step entering, nervous looking Buffy, Willow frowned.

"What's wrong?" Willow prompted, as several nightmare scenarios flooded her mind, scenarios she all rejected because she couldn't see how they could have come to pass - not without her knowing about it on before hand.

"Uhm . . . Willow . . ." Buffy started weakly, closing the door slowly behind her. She was still stalling for time, and her breathing slowly increased with apprehension. "Y-your not going to like this; oh, who am I . . . It's really bad."

"What?" Willow prompted, growing pale.

Buffy, both sheepishly and guiltily, brought up the bag slowly. "This . . . is all that's left . . ." Buffy slowly said, still fighting for the courage. Willow's much too alarmed look is what gave Buffy the courage to finish, "of Jesse's ashes."

Willow frowned with confusion and denial, even as Buffy could already see the tell tale signs, tightening muscles and focusing of eyes, of anger and grief. "What do you mean?"

"A-angel is back alive," Buffy managed, and saw Willow's face turning into a vicious scowl, "There was a lone lightning bolt, after I ran into him and chained him up in the factory, I realized that it . . ." Buffy swallowed, feeling miserable when Willow's face now was a mixture of the rage and infinite pain she had seen the signs of earlier, "I ran to the urns - this is all I could save . . . and a lot of it is sand."

"No. No! NO! Tell me this is a joke," Willow was surprisingly fast, grabbing Buffy by the collar of her sweat shirt. Her face was no filled with grief, anger, and a last fleeting hope, a last ditch effort of denial. Buffy actually felt scared with Willow's face was so close to her, filled with rage directed at the most convenient target. Willow positively snarled, much to Buffy's surprise despite the fact she knew it was coming, "If this is a sick joke, Buffy, I'm turning you into a toad, and we're through!"

Buffy just put her right hand, which was free, around Willow's waist, and painfully shook her head. And just like that the rage in Willow deflated, looking to her right at the back, and then broke down crying, "No. No. Nonononono . . ." She sank down, and Buffy sank down with her, whispering at her girlfriend while holding her close and cuddling. She put the bag down and fully embraced the sobbing Willow, and cried along with her. She hugged the redhead close, rubbing her cheeks against Willow's and whispered meaningless supports her girlfriend.

After a minute or so, Willow's crying lessened, and then suddenly stopped. "Oh, my god . . . Xander."

Buffy nodded, "We-we should call them all together, at the library."

"Xander alone, first," Willow corrected.

-----

**The Library**

**An hour later**

"Would you mind telling us what this is about?" Buffy looked around, sought support in the eyes of her girlfriend and took a few steps forward to the library table - on which was the bag holding the last few remains of Jesse McNally. She took her time to look to her right at Xander. Her heart filled with what she could plainly see written on his face. His eyes were bloodshot, filled with grieve and a cold rage he couldn't vent anywhere. With arms folded across his chest, and a downward turn mouth, he looked like something you don't ever want to mess with. Forty five minutes earlier she and Willow had broken the news to him. What Willow had gone through was nothing compared to his grief. Worse, was that Faith had been at his apartment. Willow and Buffy had tried to get him alone, but it hadn't worked. Xander had been ready to storm out and kill Angel right then and there; and not fast either. He had cried, waled even, along with raged everything and everyone in the universe. Willow and Buffy had held him, let him get through the initial reaction, getting to stay his vengeful hand for a few minutes by using the same reasoning she had used on herself earlier; 'She wasn't thinking straight when it came to Angel, so the decision of what to do with him, and determining if it really was Angel or just Angelus playing her, had to go to the whole group, and since he obviously wasn't thinking straight either; the decision had to go the whole group.'

Xander still wanted to kill Angel, that much was easily read off his face. Buffy also noticed Lotion on one side of him, and Faith on the other. The brunette, at first, had looked afraid at the raging and grief-stricken male forty-five minutes earlier; until she recognized he wasn't going to touch her in anyway bad. While Buffy and Willow were still talking to sooth him somewhat, while he didn't let them get close; part of him blaming Buffy which she forgave and forgot right away, Faith had conquered her fears, and gotten closer to him. Xander-Lexa's new friend, he didn't turn away them, helping to calm him down so she and Willow could come closer and comfort him as well.

"I guess not everyone here knows Jesse McNally," Buffy said gently, gauging all their reactions. Xander winced - even after already knowing; Lotion looked with wide eyes at Buffy and then immediately turned to Xander - obviously he had told Lotion. Jenny and Oz drew a blank. Giles obviously recognized the name and remembered; but probably didn't quite know the difference. As close as Giles was to her and the rest of the Scooby Gang now, back then he had only just arrived, and had had no contact with Xander and Willow yet. Cordelia blinked, flinched just a little bit, and then obviously clamped down upon her emotions. Buffy was surprised - it was obvious the cheerleader captain wasn't unmoved over the boy, and here she thought Cordelia just thought of him, like she did of Xander and Willow back then, as losers not worth her time - and it couldn't be what happened at the Bronze back then, the sword-wielding cheerleader had had enough experiences with the weird and violent since then that that wouldn't raise such a reaction from her. "Jesse was a friend of Willow and Xander . . . he was turned when I first got here, and dusted," Buffy explained calmly, and looked out of the corner of her eyes at Xander. His hands had tightened around his upper arm. "That's all that's left of his ashes," Buffy said solemnly.

Most people looked blank, and had varying levels of confused, written on their faces. "So?" Oz summed up quite nicely.

Buffy looked at Willow once again, then back at the gathering and said, "His urn stood next to Angel's. A lightning bolt struck both . . . and resurrected Angel." The result of that statement was a shocked, wide-eyed looks at Buffy, which gave her the opportunity to add, "I ran in on him on the way home, I guess he was heading there; I captured him and chained him up in the factory."

It was Cordelia who spoke first, snidely, "Did that happen today, or have you hidden him away for awhile?"

"Fuck no!" was Buffy's shocked reply. Xander had looked over at Cordelia's half question, half accusation. He hadn't even thought of that; which he figured meant he couldn't see Buffy doing that; he wondered if he should add 'anymore'. It was obvious that Buffy indeed hadn't done that; the fact that she had resorted out of anger and frustration with an expletive - something she hardly ever, if at all resorted to, was really all one would need to realize that. If any doubt remained, the hurt look in Buffy's eyes and the shocked and hurt tone eliminated them quite nicely.

"Faith is a bad influence on you," Willow said softly and completely humorlessly, rocking back and forth on her feet, still not over the shock of having lost Jesse's urn and ashes.

"Cordelia, I saw the lightning bolt, it was tonight," Oz said calmly as he slung his arm around her waist.

Faith shook her head, put her hands in the pockets of her tight jeans, and said, "I still can't believe it. First a vampire with a bone plate so you can't stake him, one creating a rock hide so sunlight doesn't kill him, now we've vamps getting resurrected. What's next? Vamps who can pick up their hands and screw it back on?"

Everyone looked at her for a moment, agreeing with the sentiment. "I say we dust him, soul or no soul, goes quicker too," Lotion stated at once. Her views on the entire subject simple and effective.

"I agree," Xander said for good measure; Cordelia nodded.

"I'm afraid I must disagree, even if he's Angelus," Giles interjected in the whole gathering with authority drawing everyone's gazes to him, and turning the library silent.

A silence Xander broke, by saying grimly, "You, Giles? What happened to the Watchers' creed of dusting them all?"

"Indeed, however these are unusual circumstances; if we do destroy this walking corpse again, what is to stop whoever resurrected him this time, seemingly with ease, from doing it again? And this time before any of us can capture him?" Giles explained simply.

Everyone looked annoyed at the concept, and not quite having an answer. Oz a moment later came up with a solution, and calmly said, "Chain him up in a box, and throw him in a deep part of the ocean."

"I like that idea," Xander commented with a feral grin.

"When he's soulless," Willow hastily interjected, not quite liking the idea of throwing someone, even if it was Angel, to the depths of the ocean.

"Even souled that's a good idea," Xander replied darkly, looking at Willow as he kept his predatory smile on his face.

"Xander!" Jenny said with a disapproving tone. She took a step forward and leaned on the table. "You can't mean that; granted he wasn't exactly a saint, but he's still a human being, even if he is in command of a demon-animated corpse."

Xander looked slightly guilty, but lowering his arms to his sides he replied, "Dumping him in the ocean keeps him from losing his soul; either because some industrious chick gives him a blowjob, or because some magic user works his mojo. If magic can give him his soul, it can take it away, and you can't use your magic on something you can't find. If Soul Boy has to suffer to keep Angelus bottled up . . ." Xander shrugged to show his apathy.

"I agree," Lotion said instantly, grinning evilly at the concept.

"Can't say I disagree," Cordelia added in, not liking she and Lotion agreed on something. Buffy was distressed; she may not be in love with Angel anymore, but she did have fond feelings, and she didn't want to see him suffer like that.

Jenny didn't like it either; she wasn't enamored with her tribes quest for vengeance and the way it was done; it felt like she was continuing those actions. So she said, "Perhaps before we decide on how to deal with things, we should first try to figure out whether he's got his soul indeed back, and how and why and who brought him back to life."

"I don't like it," Willow said with some measure of artificial evenness in her voice, having everyone look at her, "but if this is Angel, and not Angelus, I can't fault Xander's logic." Buffy hated the concept himself, and hated even more that she somewhat agreed, although she still wondered if the price for such an action would be greater than the reward. As far as she was concerned, they wouldn't be tossing Angel into the ocean, that her girlfriend agreed with Xander on the subject - more so, she was surprised she did. Willow was always the gentle one. Willow finished, "If it's Angelus though, chug him." Everyone nodded with that sentiment, except Buffy who was still wrapping her mind around the concept of Willow wanting to do the same to Angel as to Angelus.

The surprised gasp that came, clearly indicated he or she was just as surprised at Willow's ideas on the subject. The gasp however, did not come from anyone of the Scooby Gang. Everyone turned around to see Angel, dressed now, stand in front of a swaying library entrance. Likely, he was just as surprised that Buffy didn't defend him more. There was a moment's silence, before Lotion hissed, "You said you chained him up!"

"I did!" Buffy defended herself as everyone stood up, and turned to face Angel, and probably ready to rush over and stake him; if not at least chain him up properly this time. The faces of most of them, enraged. Angel obviously didn't feel very safe, or comfortable.

The library door swung open again, giving the Scoobies pause, especially when a smallish men dressed like a New York pimp entered through it. "She did, and good, le'me tell ya," the man spoke with an accent from the same city as his clothes. "The time it took to unchain him was a lot; gave me time to talk to the knucklehead though . . . and didn't I tell ya to not run in here?" Angel turned to the weird man and shrugged pathetically. He turned back to the Scoobies, and added, "Slayer, you should work in SM parlor as a mistress, you'd be rich in no time."

Xander, Lotion and Buffy then shot forward, while Buffy growled, "I'll kill him."

"We actually agree on something," Lotion said, lightly surprised, as they crossed the distance.

Xander reached the little man first, picked him up by the collar, and smashed him right against wall, powerful enough to dent it. The weird man groaned in pain, and looked surprised into the enraged face of Xander Harris. "You're dead, demon," Xander snarled, as Buffy and Lotion came up next to him, eager to join in on the dismembering fun.

"Hold it!" Giles' even tone of wisdom sliced through the air, "Get answers first, then kill him."

The three demon hunters now standing next to a fearful Angel, and in front of a pinned up against the wall demon, looked quite disappointed for a moment, but then focused on their knew task. The demon gulped, realizing quite plainly he wasn't in the company of the traditional, goody-two-shoes, harm-no-one good guys.

"Who in Xi Ama-lang's name are you!?" Lotion demanded angrily. If Angel had any thought of helping his benefactor, it was quickly removed when Xander and Lotion gave him a momentary glare. He backed off and watched.

The demon was quite surprised the three of them had already figured out he was a demon - he looked human after all. The wall was quite hard too, being hurt when he was smashed into it. He gave a light groan, and said, "Hiya folks, I'm Whistler, balance demon, and I work for the Powers That Be . . . could you put me down so I can explain?"

Instead the arm under his chin moved back a moment, only for the hand to wrap around his neck and squeeze. The young man's face was filled with an almost uncontrollable rage, and if the balance demon was right, and he usually was about these things, a good chunk of grief that was threatening to spill out with tears. "Tell me, demon, if you work for whoever those sickening bastards are; why couldn't they have sent you to move Dead Boy's urn away from Jesse's before bringing the bastard back to life!?" Xander hissed, squeezing almost gleefully. Whistler just gasped.

"Urn?" Angel asked shocked; starting to understand why they were all so upset.

"Xander; please show a few more moments restraint," Giles spoke, the rest of the people present now having arrived close behind the first three.

With some effort Xander managed to let go, allowing Whistler to cough for air. "I don't know, man, I'm just a messenger boy, they send me when and where. They're the good guys, though. Need the big lug over there to do some good for a change; things really didn't go as foreseen."

**-"Good guys!?"-** Xander snarled, seeing red now. **-"Good guys who use demons and demon-animated corpses!? Good guys who resurrect **_**/him/**_** and destroy the honored remains of the best friend of some of the best and strongest fighters on supposedly their side? Human fighters!? They could have resurrected Jesse, and once I trained him, he'd be stronger and better than that **_**/thing/**_** of there! Don't sound very 'good' to me, bub."-**

"I say we kill 'em both," Lotion said, and Buffy got chills running down her spine; this wasn't the voice of the gung-ho amazon she was used to, but the cold voice of a killer. Whistler noticed it too; he gulped when he realized this wasn't going well.

Buffy realized they still didn't have all the answers, and tried to go on a slightly different tangent, "What do you mean, not as foreseen?"

"You're supposed to be dead, sweetheart, and Dead Boy over here was supposed to stop Acathla," Whistler said casually, trying to sound as harmless as possible and in tune with their perceptions. "Things didn't exactly go as planned; things got better in some ways. The Powers have quite an investment in vamp. You threw one hell of a monkey wrench in things, Alexander."

"What the hell's a balance demon?" Cordelia asked, less pissed, than the ones who lost the ashes of their best friend; and wanting to diffuse the situation just a bit; like Buffy and Giles wanting answers before the blood-spilling began. She looked over, and was pretty certain that Willow's eyes were black; the energy and rage radiating off of her in waves, and her face contorted with it. It was obvious she preferred to now rend the 'balance demon' limb from limb, before doing the same to Angel.

"I take it a demon that works to keep darkness and light balanced," Giles postulated, feeling that Cordelia's ploy was working; Willow's anger and magic were deflating a little.

"If you mean on a personal level, yeah, Ripper. If you mean the big forces of good and evil, not a chance. We're all about helping to find people inner balance and harmony and stuff; which is why I went to recruit the big oaf over there, back when he was still eating rats," Whistler answered with a disgusted face as he remembered Angel scurrying in alleys to find the rodents.

"_/You/_ sent him here!?" Xander asked, pushing Whistler harder against the wall again.

"Not to do the nasty with the Buffster and turn even nastier than that, if that's what you mean, love . . . no offense Slayer, but . . ." Whistler shivered.

"Will people quit it already!? I know, god damn it, I'm the one who did it with the corpse!" Buffy exclaimed exasperated and looked a little guilty when she saw Angel deflate at her blunt statement.

Whistler nodded, "Well, you were supposed to be killed by the Master, which would have spurned him on to finally get off his lazy ass. Instead, Xander's cross did that, he brought you back, and the rest is some really icky history. Could you set me down, now?" Whistler asked the last hopefully, looking at Xander.

"First, you tell me exactly why we shouldn't throw the bastard to the bottom of the ocean to keep Angelus from coming back," Xander hissed, teeth forced together.

"No more curse, man. They grafted his soul around the demon normally; he can do as many nasties with hot, blonde chicks as often as he wants, although I really hope he doesn't, and he's not ever turning in ugly and psycho again," Whistler explained, making everyone look at Angel for a moment, who squirmed under the glares. "Would you mind letting us go? He's got a lot of work to do."

"No, I'm going to kill you," Xander said with a smile, and prepared to lay down a buttkicking nobody ever got before.

Jenny took a few steps forward, and lay a comforting hand on Xander's shoulder, "Xander, no."

Xander's fist remained, and looked back. "Why not? It's a demon," Lotion asked with a pissed look.

"Because it isn't a sickening killing machine demon; and I do not want to see you, Xander, go down the path of revenge-killings; first it's a non-evil, evil-killing-machine, the next time it's humans," Jenny said gently, while glaring daggers at the balance demon, who winced from the look alone.

Xander looked at Jenny for a moment, as did most everyone else, wondering silently what was going to happen. Xander turned back around, and hissed, "You get to live, demon; but only so you can tell those bastard powers of yours this; they, or any of their employees and followers of theirs, you and Dead Boy included, set foot in this town ever again . . .

". . . we kill . . ." Lotion completed with a grown, followed by everyone inside the room apart from Angel backing it up silently.

His eyes boring coldly into Whistler's own, Xander took back over, ". . . painfully and gruesomely, you got that you piece of shit?"

Whistler nodded difficulty. Xander then picked the demon off the wall, and with a single vicious kick sent him flying out the double doors. Whistler gurgled and groaned out with pain, grabbing his gut which suffered at least one broken rib, and then slammed into the wall on the other side of the gangway. He and Lotion turned to Angel. Xander glared why Lotion said, "You hurry, before I consider it setting foot back in Sunnydale."

"I'm . . . sorry," Angel said with emotional pain in his voice, and felt horrible at how inadequate it sounded, and was. He gave Buffy a last look, but it was obvious Buffy was accepting Xander's and Lotion's and the others' decision with no more than a stare. He then walked out the library, and helped the hurt balance to his feet, before leaving.

"Xander . . ." Giles started, wanting to talk to the young man and his childhood friend; there was no way he knew exactly how to deal with them having lost their friend's remains. Xander didn't answer, he just stepped out of the library resolutely, raging internally. Lotion went after him quickly, as did Faith a moment later.

-----

**Later**

Cordelia sat on the couch in her parents' estates pool house. Oz was sitting next to her, and they were watching a fashion show. "So," Oz prompted.

"So, what?" Cordelia replied.

"So, it's 2AM and we're watching a fashion show rerun. How are you doing?" Oz asked her relaxedly.

"I'm fine," Cordelia answered him shortly, obviously not so.

"About this Jesse's ashes?" Oz prodded gently, not moving from his position, leaning back in the couch.

In contrast, Cordelia was hunched over with her hands together in her lap. "He was a loser who was practically stalking me. I could have called the cops and he'd be dumped in jail. What would his ashes mean to me?" Cordelia told him, but her bitchy tone wasn't very convincing.

"Right, 2AM, fashion show, and Xander, loser too?" Oz asked calmly.

Cordelia whipped her head around to regard him for a moment. Oz looked in her eyes. Cordelia turned her head away, and rubbed in her face. Finally Oz sat up and pulled Cordelia into an embrace, one she half-heartedly fought for a few moments, before being pulled to Oz's shoulder. It was a little uncomfortable at first, with Oz being shorter then her, but she found a better way soon. Cordelia held tight, and then muttered, "He and Xander were the only ones who would stand up to me, you know? The only ones who would talk back. I wish he wasn't a damn vampire when he pulled me onto that damn dance floor. I know he's a loser and we'd never last, and then I'd meet you, but part of me wonders; what if? Closest thing I had to a friend apart from Xander back then, and he and Willow never told me and showed me they had his ashes . . . bastards! And now it's gone."

"You should talk to them, tomorrow," Oz suggested, and Cordelia sagged.

-----

**Xander's apartment**

Faith was the one who opened the door, and Buffy and Willow entered. They saw a still angry Xander sitting on the couch. "Are you okay, Xander?" Willow asked gently.

Slowly Xander raised his head, and then said tonelessly, "I will be."

"Lotion, actually helped him calm down, a lot," Faith said with wide eyes. "I think he was about ready to tear every building in Sunnydale down after he let them go."

The two girls crossed the apartment and sat on either side next to him, while Faith sat down across from them in the other couch, staying silent. "It hurts," Buffy muttered, indeed having a pained voice, "I wish he had stayed dust."

Xander looked lightly surprised, Willow not so, she just held onto her childhood friend. Then he sobered a little, and said, "So that we hadn't lost Jesse's remains."

"That too," Buffy denied, and looked up to her best male friend, "with Angel dead, it was kind of a reminder, his urn. It constantly showed me my greatest failures, and my greatest triumph. I killed the thing that wore my lover's - however sickening that is - face; I set Angel free. It showed me I could do anything necessary to keep this world safe, yet showed me how I was, reminded me of my mistakes, you know?" Xander looked at her, and then nodded.

"Shit."

The three friends looked over at Faith as she sat there watching them. "I feel like a big dumb bitch," Faith said as explanation, looking pitiful.

"That's because you are," Willow said, her head still against Xander's left upper arm. Faith looked over at the redhead, who then smiled, "So are we, which teenager isn't?"

"Not me," Xander shook his head.

"Not me either," Buffy answered with a big grin. Willow and Xander looked at her. "Used to be, but not anymore, uh uh, killed thing that wore lover's face, just said so, remember?" Buffy clarified, and gestured her right hand at her head. With appraising raised eyebrows Xander nodded in agreement, and Willow gave Faith a look.

"I guess you and I have got some growing up to do, huh, Willow?" Faith said with a wry smile at Willow, who was looking annoyed at her two friends; who were softly laughing.

-----

**Several days later**

The figure was clad only in a black suit. A mask that showed only its eyes. The suit itself was form-fitting around the belly, mid-section, and upper legs - which showed off a delicious, athletic, agile and very feminine physique, that could easily make men howl in pleasure. The suit was looser up around the chest; which meant that the forward curve could have easily been the suit if the figure was male; but being as she was female, it meant they were breasts; not big breasts, smallish, perfect fitting the gymnastic figure; but still very present breasts. The pipes of the suit became equally loose around the girl ninja's lower legs, although never so loose they'd easily get entangled in bushes; giving her the appearance of a wraith in the night . . . if it were night. The Californian sun shone above brightly, and in the late summer it was quite warm; not that the ninja showed any sign of being hot herself.

The girl hid between some bushes of a garden, and quickly scanned left and right; making sure no one saw her, she sprinted silently out of her hiding spot onto the sidewalk, jumped before she reached the street, sailed all the way across it and into a tree. She landed perfectly silent on a branch, and with a second, immediate jump moved forward onto the roof of a house. How it was possible was a secret she and others like her would never part with, but just like with the branch, she landed without a sound on the roof. She made two equally silent steps, and jumped again, crossing the street once more; to land again in a foliage-rich tree. Still silent; not even the various bladed weapons hidden, and not so hidden, on her person made a jingle or scrape, she waited in the tree, hidden from sight. She looked around, and as her ears had told her earlier, a car came around a corner, and passed through the street, and past her hiding tree, without noticing her. Once the car was gone, she moved on; still equally silent.

Thus moving silent and unseen through Sunnydale, the girl soon reached her destination. The roof of Sunnydale High was the perfect look out; and when she landed on it, without a sound of course, she immediately went down to lie on her stomach. She peered over the edge, to the empty lunch seats. There she stayed, waiting patiently, until students came outside for lunch. Then she pulled two things from inside her suit; a picture, and a small set of binoculars, through which she started peering at the students to find her prey.

Down below, the extended Scooby Gang exited the school building, holding trays with food. Xander, Lotion, Buffy, Willow, Cordelia with Oz, Faith and Kendra found themselves a table and sat down.

"Tees feels still not raight," Kendra said in her usual accent, rolling the 'r' heavily. She looked around the table and at the students settling down for lunch, and some talking to each other.


	7. Part 7: Dating Bureau Xander Harris

----Part 7: Dating Bureau Xander Harris----

It was night out, the darkness seemed all imposing. In front of them was the motel door. The motel door. The looming motel door. How a tiny, dingy, probably rotting away, ready to fall apart motel door could loom, was beyond Willow. But it did, it seemed impossibly, or should that be imposingly tall - huge . . . looming. Looming was definitely the right word. Actually, Willow perfectly knew why it was looming. It was really quite simple really. Buffy had asked her here; the blonde standing next to her holding the key. And this time it was most definitely not to do all the lovely, pleasurable . . . nasty little things one could do in a motel room . . . bed. Willow knew why Buffy had asked her here. Willow's funk and guilt had finally caught up to her; it didn't help that the others had remarked several times on how they weren't all couply right now. Buffy was going to drag Willow in there - if it came to that, and Willow was still hoping she'd had the guts to step in there under her own power, and there Buffy was going to demand answers. Willow would give them, Buffy's heart would be broken, she'd dump Willow's ass, and run screaming and crying back home. And Willow would be known to the world like the pig she deep down knew she was - it was official, women could be every bit as piggy as men . . . and it was really time to take a breath before her brain would explode.

So here Willow had been taken to, to confess, to break her lover's heart, and to be rightfully dumped.

The motel door was looming. Dingy, small, simple motel doors had no right to be looming, Buffy reflected, looking at the motel door - looking at the model- . . . definitely focusing and looking at the motel door. Anything not to look at her beautiful, magnificent girlfriend, whose face Buffy knew, would be filled with worry, the face that would break into tears, while screaming all kinds of profanity at a very deserving Buffy before dumping her ass and running out. And it probably was better to stop thinking of herself in the third person - it was bad enough she made the average male look like a sainted angel, going insane on top of it, would just be all wrong. She had brought Willow here, to confess her evil attraction to Xander. There was no way that Willow hadn't noticed something was wrong, especially with the others pointing out several times already. Thus, Buffy had decided to bring Willow here and confess. She'd seen enough soap operas to know that this sort of thing didn't stay hidden, and she also knew that finding out was infinitely worse for the recipient than if someone came out and confessed. So, Buffy was going to confess, because she couldn't bear giving Willow any pain. In fact, if it wasn't for the hope that the evil, nasty, twisted, unnatural love for Xander would go away, or she could banish it by force of will - thus not hurting Willow at all - she would have confessed it long ago.

So here Buffy was, to confess, to break her lover's heart, and to be rightfully dumped.

Buffy stretched out her hand after what seemed like an eternity, and put the key in the door's lock. She unlocked it, opened the door, and the two nervously stepped inside the dark room. After some fumbling by both of them, Willow found the light switch, and turned on the lights. The small room was indeed as dingy as they remembered - although they'd never actually been in this particular motel room. An old two-person bed, two night stands with old standing lights having a round pyramidal cap, and a doorway to a small bathroom, a small closet to put clothes in for those who stayed longer than a few nights, and of course that bathroom, holding a toilet, a washbasin, and a shower, was all that made up the motel room.

Amazing really, how much fun such a tiny, dirty room could be. Better not go there - being aroused while confessing one's sins would be bad . . . really bad.

Slowly the two stepped forward, closing the door behind them, took the room in for a bit longer, and then gingerly sat down on the bed. The two looked at each other, not expecting the other to have the same idea. They were close, and guilt made Buffy scoot away a bit.

They just sat there for several long, and awkwardly silent, moments. Finally Buffy managed to pull up all her courage, and started, "Wi-willow, I-uh . . ."

"I know . . . I know, w-we . . . have to talk," Willow managed to stutter out in reply, the last words not so stuttering.

Buffy nodded, and brought up more courage, and so started, while Willow did the same, and they spoke at the same time:

"I have-"

"B-buffy, I-"

The two looked up from their shoes where they had been guiltily staring at, and looked in each other's eyes. For a moment, their more cowardly thoughts wanted to offer first word to the other, but then both of their courage took center stage, and they blurted out together, "I'm still in love with Xander."

Both of them looked at each other, frowned in confusion, and said, "No,_/I'm/_ . . . wait- you're . . .?"

Two sets of wide eyes looked astonished into each other, dawn settling on both of them. "B-but are you still . . ." Willow didn't dare finish the question; so odd, to be in love with a second person and still not being able to bear losing the first one.

"Of course I'm still in love with you!" Buffy exclaimed, her hands shooting in the air with desperation; making a rather comical sight. She looked up, frowning for a moment and wondering what her hands were doing in the air, and then quickly jerked them down. She stated the obvious then, "And you're still in love with me."

"So all this time we were in a funk for nothing!" Willow added the other obvious. They looked at each other in astonishment for another moment. But only another moment, suddenly they moved toward each other and embraced tightly. Tears of joy springing from Willow's eyes, "Oh, I missed you." The embrace was tight, yet gentle, their arms wrapped around each other's backs, and Willow gave a happy sob, while Buffy just smiled with her eyes closed.

"Me too," Buffy sighed softly, happy. Willow frowned, while still having her eyes closed and Buffy tightly hugged to her, thinking of the conundrum - how could they have missed each other, when they hadn't been apart? Buffy pushed Willow back a little, herself sitting up a little straighter. Her breath had gotten more shallow, and Willow easily recognized the desire in the blonde's eyes. For Buffy, enough hugging had gone on, and Willow's conundrum was lost on her. She just said, hotly, "Time to make up for lost time." A moment later Buffy's lips pressed against Willow's, their tongues searching the other, starting an erotic struggle, while the two girls peeled at each other's clothes. The conundrum forgotten instantly the moment their lips touched.

-----

**Library**

**Next day**

Xander was sitting in a chair, legs on the table, and holding his head, while pensively thinking. Around him, his friends were training. Willow was meditating with Jenny. It was Lotion's turn to train Kendra . . . make that, brutalize her. And Buffy and Cordelia were taking on each other. That left Faith to get a more basic training from Giles; which she desperately needed if she ever wanted to get to the more advanced stuff with the others. Oz, finally, had secluded himself behind some of the book cases, to sit in the lotus position and meditate, concentrate on the beast residing somewhere inside of him.

All that though, pretty much passed Xander by. The part-time girl was focusing on his major problem at hand. How to get rid of Shaten_/and/_ save her village from civil war in the process? It wasn't that he didn't like Shaten, in fact, the ninja girl dutifully followed her 'dono' around since her arrival two days earlier - including sleeping on his balcony, after which he had dragged her inside and made a make-shift bed out of folded up blankets next to Faith's couch bed - and he had grown rather fond of the ninja princess. After some initial struggles, most notably from Faith since sleeping with a stone cold, perfect assassin right next to her had proven to be difficult and the lack of sleep got to her, the two girls seemed to have gotten to an uneasy truce and a functional working relationship going. He only liked her as a friend though - not that she left him 'untouched', anyone with interests in the female gender couldn't possibly keep the drool from their mouths without some extreme measures - there simply wasn't any romantic interest, nothing beyond care and a healthy dose of lust.

Not to mention that the stalking creeped him out; it reminded him too much of a certain undead denizen. It was a miracle, really, he had managed to get her to stay away from the library now.

All of which of course, did not solve the dilemma. How could you honor an agreement to marry a girl without marrying her, get the girl to accept it - not skewer anyone in the process, and then her entire village had to accept it too. This was tough as all hell. He thought about some other guy filling his place, but had dismissed it out of hand. Shaten would never accept it.

This was tough.

"AARGH!"

Xander looked up at the scream, and watched Kendra sail through the air; along with everyone else - they had all stopped what they were doing and looked at the commotion. A moment later Kendra slammed against a square wooden pole of the stairs, gave another yell, and then sank, obviously in pain, to the floor. Xander looked over at Lotion who still had a fist in the air.

"Ow!" Kendra groaned out, and straightened her back painfully. "Whad was dat for!?" The South American girl had gotten some brutal punishments at the hands of her new trainers; but this was ridiculous. She felt like her head was lying twenty meters onward, away, and very severed, from her body. Her neck still hurt from stretching at the impact, and her voice was rough and pained as a result - not to mention her back.

Lotion looked contrite suddenly, the grimace on her face disappearing instantly. She retracted her fist guiltily and said, "I'm sorry." Then she straightened up, and said nastily, "It's just that that slut is pissing me off!"

Giles nodded sagely and said just as sagely, "Lotion, you should let it go. This anger-"

"I KNOW!" Lotion yelled angrily and then turned to Xander. She pointed her left index finger at her accusingly, and said, "You!" She deflated again, and then threw her hands up helplessly, "This is not fair! Why couldn't it be someone else!? What did that Saotome-bastard have to choose you to sick that slut on!? Why didn't he have a third 'son' to torment!?"

Xander opened his mouth to start with 'because', and then suddenly shut his mouth. He blinked his eyes. That was it! He smiled and jumped up suddenly. "THAT'S IT!" Everyone one looked stunned at him suddenly. "That's it!" he said again as he sped over to Lotion. He grabbed by the shoulders, planted a quick, but emotional kiss on the lips, and told her, "Lotion, you're magnificent!" Then he turned and rapidly went for the exit.

Everyone looked bewildered, Lotion more so than the rest. "Well, of course . . . wait . . . what!?" she managed to mutter out. The entire attendance looked at each other for a moment, and then sped out after Xander, even Oz came out from behind the book case to find out what Xander had come up with.

It did not take Xander and the others long to find Shaten. Many others would have a much harder time finding the ninja girl though, as she had blended with the tree she'd been leaning against; like a chameleon. "What the hell? Shaten?" Xander asked with a small congregation behind him, looking at the tree. His sense of chi, told him she was there, and if he looked really closely he could see vague outlines that seemed like athletic feminine curves, but the eyes really only saw: tree.

Then the tree seemed to slide off of a feminine figure, and the ninja-girl, in ninja-garb, minus hood, fell from a branch, she had been standing under, upside down, without holding onto it. A smooth somersault followed and she landed equally smoothly on her feet, moving gracefully the whole way - like a cat. "Yes, Xander-dono?" Shaten asked politely, making a slight bow in front of her future husband. She did not speak aloud the admiration she felt for him finding her so easily, even using this concealing technique; which she had not used the first time she and the others had detected her.

"What were you doing there, like that?" Xander asked, rather impressed by the techniques - an addition to his plan forming. Behind him there were several gasps of surprise and shock, and one of annoyance by Lotion, accompanied by her folding her arms across her chest. The school grounds were empty, with the exception of them, it already being after school. Briefly Xander wondered if the Sunnydale Denial Syndrome TM would hold up if any of the students had seen the event.

"Keep an eye on things," the ninja-girl answered without any shame.

"What do you mean, keeping an eye on things?" Buffy asked with some confusion, looking around as did the others. "There's nobody here."

Lotion sighed in annoyance, the hands folded underneath her upper arms balled into fists, and she said with a grumble, "Pig-nosed girl needs to learn how to think and open her eyes before speaking."

"Where the hell do you come off . . .?" Buffy trailed off as she realized what Lotion was on about. There was the back library entrance in the wall, and diagonally to the right one could see the main school grounds - leading of course to the main entrance. To the diagonal left, there was a path leading between buildings holding a few more back entrances, and finally the street running past that side of the school. If you were just one, it was the best guard position, covering the most entrances and/or access ways to those entrances. "Oh," Buffy added, turning her head to look back at Shaten, and blinked, trying to wrap her mind around the concept of the girl ninja feeling the need to guard them . . . or more likely guard Xander. Shaten probably didn't really care much about the rest of them, least of all Lotion, who had made her status as rival very clear.

Xander grinned and started speaking, "I have the solution to our double-booked problem, Shaten. You should not be marrying me, but someone else from America! Or somewhere else, just not of your village."

"If agreement not kept, Genma dies," Shaten stated. The statement was no threat, it was a simple statement of fact, which made the whole thing only more chilling. As she spoke, Shaten's poise changed slightly, to anyone trained enough, they would see she was ready to reach for the sword on her back.

"No, the agreement is kept, this was always the agreement," Xander with a big grin, which made the people behind him, and the girl before him frown. "Think about it. Could you have left the village without a suitable reason - like an arranged engagement as payment for damage?"

"No," Shaten answered, still with a frown, but a less dangerous one now.

"And that's exactly what my surrogate father provided, he just never intended us to actually marry, but provide a reason for you to be far away from your village before either head case clan could get their claws into you. And be with the guy and support group that can train future Mr. Iwaki Shaten to become strong and skilled enough to pass whatever test your village will throw at him!" Xander explained with a large enthusiastic smile, that worked affectionately. Shaten visibly relaxed a little more, but not all the way, she was still doubting. "I think your father may have thought the same, or suspected Saotome Genma never intended to marry me off; he just needed a good reason for you to be gone, and come back married."

Shaten thought it over for a moment; it did seem plausible, especially how distraught her father was, even going so far as offering her to help go missing. Something didn't fit though, and she asked, "Xander-dono, if this be true, why didn't know from start?"

"What would you have done if I told you this the moment I met you?" Xander asked her, his mouth grinning wider, already knowing the answer.

Shaten hesitated, thought it over, then answered, "Possible killed you, but certain gone to Tokyo, kill Saotome, return to village."

"EXACTLY!" Xander exclaimed loudly much to the mounting disbelief of the people behind him. "Genma knew this, that's why he didn't tell me. He deliberately didn't, trusting that I, you, or my friends would figure it out. He's brilliant! He's an even greater man than I already thought he was!"

Cordelia couldn't take it anymore, and folded her arms across her chest, glaring at the back of Xander's head. She started, "Fat chance, he j-" Suddenly her voice was gone as a hand covered it.

Cordelia glared slightly down. The owner of the hand, Oz, whispered, "Do you really want to give the kill-happy ninja girl a reason to disbelieve, and pull out that sword?" Cordelia's eyes darted back to Shaten, then her eyes widened, and she gently shook her head, prompting Oz to nod and remove his hand.

"Saotome Genma genius!" Lotion spoke up suddenly, making everyone look at her. "Met him, I know. I should have realized his true plan and purpose much earlier."

"Yep, me too," Xander nodded with a big grin. "Should have realized it sooner. So, Iwaki Shaten, princess of . . . uh . . ."

"Madiko village," Willow supplied helpfully, her memory still every bit as good as ever, her brain was still trying to wrap itself around Xander's little talk.

"Madiko village," Xander repeated with a thankful nod toward Willow, and continued, "Will you leave here married and return as head of the village, or will you let destiny slip you by?"

There was a moment of silence, and then Shaten bowed, saying, "Not will destiny slip by. I will find man, and marry."

"That's just perfect!" Xander exclaimed with a big grin, making everyone look at him. He raised his right index finger high into the sky, and finished, "Because here is the dating service that has yet to fail, Dating Bureau Xander Harris!"

Silence reigned supreme, and Xander looked back at his friends. Then they groaned, and his smile faltered, while Buffy exclaimed, "That's because you have yet to start! Dating Bureau Xander Harris!?"

"Hey, it could work," Xander said, his smile faltering, then returning full force. Shaten remained standing, once again straightened up, confused at the scene. Xander didn't even notice most of his friends slowly shuffling backward. What he did notice was a certain lack of supportive comments. "I cannot believe this. I thought you were my friends." Xander turned his head to his right, looking at Faith, and he asked, "Not even you, Faith?"

Faith blinked, straightened, and then said, "No offense, Lexa, you know I'm your biggest fan, but not even _/I'm/_ touching that one with a ten foot pole."

"I teenk you can do eet, Xander," Kendra commented with her usual accent.

"Why thank you, Kendra," Xander said with a smile, and then returned to look at Faith. He turned around the still confused Shaten and laid his hands on the Japanese girl's shoulders. He smiled at Faith, and said, "You still want to go out with me Saturday, don't you?" He gave Faith a suggestive look over Shaten's shoulders. "You can help make that Shaten's first night out at the same time, finding the right guy."

Faith knew exactly what was Saturday, and she wasn't giving that up for the world. Maybe if she could get one of the others to do the Shaten babysitting that night, she could keep Saturday without being . . . Faith had finished turning around, and her eyes bugged out her sockets. They were all gone! When the hell had they managed to all sneak away!? Even Lotion, Lexa's fiancee had snuck away! Not even Kendra, the supportive one was left - judging from the last glimpse Faith now had at the side entrance to the library, they had dragged her off, to save her from herself and Lexa. How the hell had they managed that without a sound? And why hadn't they done the same for her? Confused, annoyed, and all of a sudden filled with dread she turned back to the two people in front of her, Lexa - the male version - still smiling over Shaten's left shoulder. The ninja girl was looking a little perturbed and now turned her head to look half perturbed, half questioning at Xander. Faith's shoulders slumped, then straightened with annoyance as she realized Xander must have watched the others sneak off without warning her. Then her shoulders slumped again, and said, "Fine, I'll help."

"Okay all?" Shaten asked of Xander her neck once again craned to the left to look at him.

"Perfect," Xander answered her with a smile. "Between Faith and me, we'll turn you into a lean mean dating machine, in no time!" Faith actually groaned at that statement.

-----

**Library**

**Same time**

Willow and Buffy were in the middle of the group, with Giles and Jenny behind them, the latter dragging Kendra along. Cordelia, Lotion and Oz were in front of them. Willow asked out loud, "Is weaseling out of a situation genetic and can it jump to even adopted surrogate sons?" Cordelia and Oz turned to look back at her. Her eyes were wide, and she finished gently, "'Cause that was the biggest load of . . . bullshit I've ever heard shoveled, and it somehow managed to sound reasonable."

"That's a good trait in a future husband," Lotion feebly defended Xander, feeling the need to honor her future husband.

"Until he sells you as some other guy's fiancee," Cordelia pointed out the trend in Saotome's method of weaseling out of sticky situations. Lotion frowned, wanting to protest Xander wouldn't do that.

"Indeed," Giles agreed, pulling his glasses from his head and started to clean them, then walked toward the counter - interrupting Lotion's next words in the process.

Jenny sighed, and as she followed Giles, she said, "I'm just glad we didn't get suckered into somehow trying to help a teenager Shaten find a teenager husband in under a few weeks, and convincing him to move to Japan, being Shaten's whipping boy, and convincing his parents to let him go. What's he thinking?"

"'Get out of sticky situation, quickly,'" Oz offered helpfully, not a muscle out of place on his expressionless face. Although he would never admit it, keeping it in place, had taken more than a little effort. Grins were shot and laughs were had at his comment.

"Poor Faith," Willow lamented sweetly.

"Better her, than us," Buffy finished with finality. And Willow nodded eagerly in agreement. They looked at each other's eyes, and then gave each other a deep comforting kiss.

"Oh, no," Cordelia said in defeat and then lifted her hands in helplessness, "they're back. Get a room!" Buffy and Willow broke apart. Willow gave a blushing smile, while Buffy just gave the head cheerleader an evil grin.

"I steell teenk he can pull eet off," Kendra offered, her arms folded across her chest with the annoyance of having been dragged away, and being forced to watch this spectacle. The whole group looked at her for a moment, and then shook their heads with pity.

-----

**Later that day**

As such things went, water had found one Mr. Harris, so now a Ms. Horne was in his place walking alongside Lotion, and Faith on his other side, toward Lotion's home: the Amazon Dragon Chinese Restaurant.

"I hate this," Lotion complained, depressed.

"I know," Lexa answered, taking a deep breath that stretched her vest around her ample chest. She gently moved her arm around Lotion's waist, and said, "I'm not exactly thrilled about it either. Look, all of this will be over soon. I'll get Shaten a new husband that is not me. Faith here seems to be finding her stride, as well as being friends with not just me, so soon this will all be over, and then we can focus on us."

"Yeah," Faith added her own reassurances, "it isn't like Lexa is looking for a hot date to fall in love with, get married, and have 2.5 kids with. It's the ninja chick that's up for the picket fences deal." Faith thought about her words in a momentary flash, and asked, "Do ninjas have picket fences? 'Cus I'm not entirely clear on that."

"I don't think so," Lexa replied, tapped her chin for a moment, and said, "I suppose if they have TV, they could have seen it on an American show and copied it."

"Might think they work as a great, unsuspected trap," Lotion added jovially with a grin. "Step on a trigger, fence falls halfway, and the pickets get launched."

Lexa smiled back and then laughed, "Yep, they probably have picket fence traps."

"Nasty," Faith said with a mock shiver, and the three girls laughed for a moment.

They then reached the final corner toward the restaurant, and turned it. In the distance, in front of the restaurant, a bike stood waiting, with a guy leaning on it. Xander and Lotion froze, and looked at the guy. Faith came to a halt a little slower, and studied the guy. "What?" Faith asked the other two, "You two consider him drool material or something?"

"GAK!" Lotion exclaimed with horror at the concept.

"That idiot?" Lexa added for good measure. "That's Pike Ambrose; Buffy's ex, and now determined to win Lotion's heart, the moron. Seriously, the only reason I don't consider Buffy's taste in men that of an insane woman, is because I was one of 'em."

"Ouch - so you're all frozen because you're considering running away, then?" Faith speculated amused, shifting her Supergirl backpack to a more comfortable position, smiling while taking in the guy standing next to the bike. He was still far enough away Faith couldn't take him in properly, so it was time to get closer and watch the fallout occur. Grinning a grin bordering on evil, Faith started forward. "Great, let's meet him," she spoke stepping forward, making Lotion and Lexa look at each other before sighing in defeat and following after the brunette.

As they got closer, Faith could make the guy out. Leather biker pants, leather biker jacket, a nice looking helmet on the back of the guy's bike - it was a nice bike, not exactly something cool and magnificent enough to make a girl, bike lover or no, swoon, but it wasn't junk either. The bike must have been from the sixties or seventies, and pretty well maintained, if Faith's judgement wasn't wrong, and being a bike lover, she rarely was. She couldn't make out the brand through, as a brand indicator had long since been lost somewhere, and Faith's tastes in bikes were toward either more modern ones, or the one's in the style of Harley Davidson. This rather plain bike, fit none of the categories. Still, it looked good enough that if the rest of the package was okay, Faith would consider jumping on the back for a ride - more than one . . . kind.

The looks department of the rest of that package was definitely okay, as far as Faith was concerned. Buffy's taste in men's looks was in line with Faith's no doubt. The black t-shirt this Pike guy was wearing under his open leather jacket was tight fitting, showing enough to show he was quite muscular. His eyes were brown, and he had a long face. A magnificent face indeed - clean shaven - and enough to make a lesser girl get ideas of kissing and marriage, and such. Faith instead, was merely considering whether he was doable - he was. The guy's hair was grungy, and short, but just long enough that he didn't look like an impeccably styled pretty boy, or business exec.

"Well, up to now, I'm approving Buffy's taste," Faith said with a grin as she came to a halt. Her tone of voice was lightly playful, built to bait.

"She's nuts," Lotion told Lexa with a cool tone. Lexa shrugged.

"Lotion! My magnificent angel! I have come for your hand in marriage!" Pike proclaimed with a huge grin, stepping forward. "I have trained long and hard, gained the strength I lacked to beat you before! Prepare for combat, my goddess of love and lust!"

"Okay, I see the problem," Faith muttered in disbelief.

"Told you," Lexa said, as Lotion sighed with resignation and stood several steps forward to stand in front of Faith and Lexa and went into a light, not serious at all, battle stance. Faith frowned in confusion at Lotion's behavior. This was not the way a guy got a girl's heart - unless he was a caveman living thousands of years ago having a big club.

"Let's get this over with," Lotion said annoyed, beckoning Pike to come with the fingers of her right hand.

"Don't worry, my love," Pike said as he took off the jacket, hanging it on the steering handle of his bike, and made a few warm up routines, "Soon we shall be together forever, we will bond in holy matrimony, never to be parted. This, I swear upon the love in our hearts!"

"Put jacket back on, extra armor will give you better chance," Lotion told him with a grumble.

Lexa giggled at the ridiculous notion - not even the thick leather armor to protect during a fall was going to keep Lotion from beating the crap out of Pike, not even a little bit. She became aware of Faith looking at him in disbelief. "What? It's funny," Lexa offered confused and innocent.

"No worries, my future wife. Won't need it," Pike said, and made his move. A rapid step forward and a high kick that would have hit Lotion in the chin, if it wasn't for the fact she casually leaned a centimeter back. "Hah!" Pike exclaimed as he made a sharp, and pretty well done jab at Lotion's stomach. Sadly for Pike, it was only well done for the more standard martial arts of the world, and for someone who had only been training for a year. Lotion deflected the blow with the inside of her hand like it meant nothing.

Pike quickly jumped back, making Lotion sigh, and look up at the sky hopelessly for a moment. Faith looked with ever mounting disbelief at the exchange. The guy was actually trying to beat up Lotion - miserably, but still, not to mention good enough Faith knew she would have some trouble with him if she didn't have the strength enhancing ring - shouldn't they be calling the cops instead of letting her fight him?

"Well, done, my beautiful, now let's see how you handle this!" Pike said, moving forward to make a leg sweep, that Lotion jumped over with pitiful ease. Lexa groaned, and put her right palm with pity in her forehead. The guy still couldn't see just how outclassed he was. Lotion landed, and Pike rose back to his feet and immediately threw a punch at Lotion's stomach. To Lotion, of course, it didn't seem like the follow up Pike considered it to be, just another punch after a huge pause. She caught his punching fist, his right one, with no more effort. With a quick motion she made a move to circle to his left, while bending his entire arm away. Lotion raised an appreciative eyebrow when Pike turned with the twist, hopping and twisting in the air himself, landed on his left foot, and kicked his right one out with speed and strength. Of course, he missed - it would have been by a mile if Lotion took him more seriously and moved faster, instead, it was still wide by far. The movement did make Lotion let go of his arm, and Pike quickly moved around, brought both his hands together to his side, and jabbed them forward. "YAH!" he exclaimed loudly, and he actually threw a tiny little chi from his hand palms, without it being in the visible spectrum, causing a small bit of air displacement.

Lexa actually raised her eyebrows at that. It was horrendously basic, but it was still very good. Lotion just lifted her own chi a little, more than enough to buffer herself from the air displacement. "I'm actually impressed," Lotion commented bored, "For the months you've been training, this isn't bad."

"I know my angel, I'm sorry I have to do this, but-"

That was as far as Pike came, as Lotion's right foot instantly connected with his chin - and she hadn't even tried. Her lovely shapely leg extended, made the open on the sides, Chinese, Amazon dress flow back, giving Pike a magnificent view of Lotion's panties and crotch for a moment. That is, it would have given Pike that, if he was able to see anything but stars at the moment. The biker boy staggered backward, his legs went out from under him, and toppled up and over his bike, to land smack dab on the asphalt on its other side. A groan, and then the occasional lolling moan was the only thing that came from the guy. The bike wobbled with the event, the helmet and jacket even more precariously threatened to fall down, but Lexa quickly steadied it.

Lotion sighed, and said, "Too bad for you, idiot, I've been training for over a decade, and have even increased my skill and strength while you were gone." Not that Pike could hear her.

Faith pulled her jaw closed as Lexa stepped away from the now steadied bike. "Wait, wait, wait!" Faith exclaimed in shock. "What the hell was that!? Why are you not calling the cops? He was going to beat you up and drag you off the equivalent of his cave and . . ." Faith trailed off, not actually wanting to say the rest, feeling disgust well up at the guy. Not even she had ever come across someone that bad - granted, there had been some serious sick individuals, but this.

"No, he wouldn't have," Lotion said with a disgusted snort. The guy was pitiful.

"Well, he can't, but-" Faith started with mounting outrage and disbelief.

"No, Faith," Lexa commented with a big grin, and then explained, adopting Lotion's old accent and broken English, raising her finger in the air, grinning widely, "Ancient Amazon tradition: man beat Amazon in combat, Amazon marry man. He knows the tradition."

Faith's jaw dropped for a moment, and looked from Lexa to Lotion, and then back again, to finally settle on Lotion. "WHAT!?" Faith exclaimed in absolute disbelief. "You cannot- . . ." Suddenly something dawned on Faith, and she once again looked at a smiling Lexa, back to the scowling Lotion who had her arms folded under her ample chest. "YOU BEAT HER UP!?" Faith exclaimed, half in horror, half in disbelief. Her best friend Lexa could never do that, even if she was a guy!

Lexa shrugged, smiled at Faith, and said, "She was trying to kill me at the time. What should I have done, just let her kill me?"

Faith's head swiveled again from Lotion to Lexa and back again. Lotion shrugged, and said, "Shouldn't have eaten first place prize of martial arts tournament." Faith turned her head back to Lotion and her eyes bugged out - that was the reason she had been trying to kill Lexa? Lotion then looked at Lexa, and asked, "I don't understand. Everyone here goes hysterical over you defeating me in combat!? It greatest day of my life! Most romantic moment ever! Yet they all act like you're worse than a vampire." Faith's jaw dropped even lower - enough to actually start to hurt.

Lexa shrugged, and said, "Feminism. Great for emancipating women and teaching abuse of them, the weaker sex, even when she's your wife is bad, and shouldn't take it, but call the police instead - but it's gotten to a sad state of affairs by now. Guy who hits a woman is evil incarnate - even if she was trying to add a few more vents with some bullets to the guy's body, or strangle the guy with nunchakus."

The almost casual way that Lotion and Lexa were talking, while they left Faith in her brain freeze, was getting on the latter's nerve. It was like they were baiting her, especially with the topic.

"Don't get it," Lotion said with a an equal shrug. "Abusing the weaker partner is despicable, Amazons who do that to their husbands are locked up or banished from tribe. Doesn't require masculinism, or hating Amazons who defend themselves from male aggression."

That did it! Faith had it up to here, and she had just gotten an epiphany too! "FUCK ME! And I thought _/my/_ relationships were dysfunctional!" Faith exclaimed with surprise, and then a wide grin. It wasn't just Lexa and Lotion, Faith had just realized - and she didn't know why she hadn't before - that the entire Sunnydale crew was in some seriously screwed up relationships.

"We are not dysfunctional," Lotion defended vehemently, taking a menacing step toward Faith.

"And I'm Mrs. Santa," Faith laughed out loud, making Lexa and Lotion frown. "Four girls in a competition for Lexa, one leaving after falling for the guy she was trying to make Lexa jealous with, and taking that guy as a boyfriend by taming his werewolf side, one girl having the hots for a demon-animated corpse along side Lexa, wanting both in a harem, Lexa going squick over that girl she's madly in love with after she does the horizontal mambo with the corpse, the other girl being corpse-girl's best friend, who was totally hating corpse-girl after she betrayed her fencing off and screwed Lexa, now those two being a lesbian couple, leaving you two. If that isn't dysfunctional, I don't know what is." Lexa and Lotion looked at her, and tried to come up with a reply - both failed and looked perplexed at each other. Faith laughed out loud, almost ready to go in a giggle fit - which was so bad for her image, but it was so hard to fight. Her stomach started hurting and she grabbed it for support, bending over and unable to keep her Supergirl backpack on her right shoulder because of it. The bag falling unceremoniously onto the floor.

Lexa folded her arms across her chest, and with narrowed eyes looked at the giggling Faith. Lotion reset her arms tighter around her own ample chest, and gave a growl at Faith. Lexa then asked, "What's so funny?"

Faith gasped for air as she tried to push her giggling away. Straightening to get the air in her lungs and able to talk, she said with laughter throughout her sentence, "I'm the normal one. My guyfriends were all bastards, and the relationships screwed up, but they were fucking ordinary compared to you guys!"

"That's good for us," Lexa said darkly, actually pausing Faith further. Then Lexa's good mood returned, and said, "That means our relationship is going to be good. Every good relationship has a good dose dysfunctional. There is no such thing as a good relationship that is completely functional."

Faith blinked and then laughed again, saying, "Fuck. Never thought of it like that. My relationships were all horrendous because they were too ordinary!" Then she went back into a giggle fit.

Lotion looked from the giggling Faith, still angry, back to the still unconscious Pike, and back to the giggling Faith again. Then she looked at Lexa who shrugged. Lotion sighed, her anger deflated, and she cursed, "Hopeless!" She then turned around in disgust and walked into the Amazon Dragon restaurant.

Lexa walked over to the unconscious Pike with a smile, letting Faith giggle herself into eventual silence. She checked the guy over, and when she found he had suffered no real injuries, she relaxed, folding her arms across her chest, and waited for him to wake up. After a few moments, Faith stopped her giggling and walked over. "You've got a magnificent giggle," Lexa said to Faith with a smile.

Faith looked shocked for a moment, then embarrassed, and finally screeched, "Don't you dare tell anyone, Lexa!"

Lexa smiled, shrugged, pointed at the restaurant with a nod, and said casually, "Lotion already knows."

Faith's eyes widened, looked at the restaurant, and then threw her arms in horror at the sky, all but howling, "Nooo! Now my reputation is as good as ruined!" Lexa laughed out loud, her upper body jerking as she looked at Faith. "Ah, come on, this is not funny!" Faith exclaimed pitifully, and then got an annoyed look all of a sudden. "Oh, what the fuck does it matter!" she exclaimed throwing her arms up in defeat. She picked her backpack back up from the ground, and pointed the picture of Supergirl at Lexa. Pointing one finger at it, she grumbled, "This already ruined my reputation! How the hell did you get it back anyway!? I turned the stupid blonde in a nice black square!"

"Sorry, Faith, trade secret," Lexa replied with a grin, her upper body once more jerking with her now silent laughter.

Defeated, Faith lowered the backpack, sighing in defeat and looking down at the floor. It was then that Buffy's ex-boyfriend stirred, and slowly came too. Faith and Lexa looked down, and with a groan Pike opened his eyes. "Hey," Lexa said without any particular concern. Annoyed and unhappy, Faith managed no more than a greeting gesture.

Groaning and with some difficulty Pike forced himself to his feet. He bent over, leaning on his knees with his hand, and seemed genuinely broken - and that wasn't physically. It almost seemed like he was about to cry, filling the hearts of the two girls with much, and somewhat unwanted, nurturing feelings. "I don't get it," Pike muttered weakly. He stared at the restaurant. Then shook his head and blinked his eyes, before saying, "I got stronger, I trained, but I still can't beat her. And she's so beautiful, so magnificent, so strong. Why can't I succeed? It's not fair."

Lexa tried to fight off the urge to comfort the guy, but she found that her male alter ego's weakness for crying, and teary-eyed girls had just easily shifted genders as her body with the splash of water. She sighed, and shook her head, thinking she was a truly cursed individual. "Listen, Pike," Lexa started, gently laying a hand on the guy's right shoulder in comfort, "you can't beat her. She's been training since the day she could walk. I know of only two, maybe three guys our age that can beat her. One of 'em trained at and mastered the most harsh and inhospitable training grounds imaginable, like the Cursed Springs of Jusenkyo in China for over a decade before he finally-"

"So be it!" Pike interrupted Lexa and stepped forward to his bike.

"What?" Lexa and Faith said in mutual surprise.

"If mastering the Cursed Springs of Jusenkyo is what it takes to defeat my angel," Pike proclaimed, and kicked the starter down to the audience of two astounded girls. The engine roared to life with heavy rumble that all but drowned out any other sounds. Lexa tried to wave, and get Pike to stop, but the sound was too heavy, and he turned around, too intent on taking the helmet from the back of the seat. Once it was on, of course, his vision to the side was partly obscured, and his ability to hear over the engine was gone. "Then by god! Master it, I will!" Pike finished his proclamation, and hit the gas, driving off.

"NO! WAIT!" Lexa screamed desperately, jumping up and down like a madwoman and waving after the biker with both arms. "THAT'S NOT WHAT . . ." Lexa trailed off as Pike had obviously seen her waving - raising his left hand in a wave goodbye.

With a dropped jaw Lexa stared after the rapidly shrinking bike, Faith joining her with an expression of helpless incomprehension, eyebrows raised in the middle, all but forming puppy dog eyes. The bike turned a corner, and was out of sight. Lexa remained silent for a moment more, and then screamed, "THAT STUPID IDIOT!! GAAAH! I cannot believe him! I meant he needed to train for over a decade or find some way to close the gap artificially!"

Faith nodded, and asked, "That guy is completely screwed, isn't he?"

Lexa sighed, let her shoulders hang in defeat, and shaking her head she answered, "Like a man-bitch in prison." A moment later Faith burst out in laughter.

-----

**Saturday**

**Xander's apartment**

Night was slowly setting, and Lexa, Shaten, and Faith were sitting on the couch of Xander's, right now Lexa's, apartment. It was time to slowly start getting ready for their first night out together - a manhunt more like it. To that end, Xander had already used the magic of simple water, to turn into the girl version of himself. Now, she was nervous as all hell . . . never had a phone looked so ominous sitting on a table.

"Get it not," Shaten said, looking at the phone curiously.

"Just get it over with, Lex," Faith said with a supportive tap on Lexa's shoulder. The latter was sitting in between the other two.

"Easy for you to say, Buffy isn't going to reach through the phone and strangle you to death," Lexa muttered with some dread. The phone seemed even more ominous now. Why in the hell of all hells had that idiot had to go and leave for Jusenkyo anyway? A whole Friday had passed since Pike and ridden off to meet his doom. A whole Friday. A whole Friday of spending time with Buffy and the others - but mainly Buffy - in school, and not once had she - or rather, he, at the time - managed to find the guts and tell what Pike had gone and done, and she better be ready that the next time she'd see her ex boyfriend . . . he probably wouldn't look like her ex boyfriend. "Maybe I should just let her find out on her own?" Lexa suggested.

"Than she really _/will/_ kill you, once she finds out you knew," Faith said with an air of defeat, folding her arms across her chest, which was now covered by one of Xander's too big sweaters. Too big for Faith - not Xander - the sweater was loose and comfortable, and doubled easily as a mini-dress. "You know, if you'd just told her yesterday, you wouldn't have to face this now."

"And be in strangling range!?" Lexa asked her friend in disbelief.

"You said she's going to reach through the phone anyway," Faith pointed out with a grin. Lexa groaned.

"Xander-dono, I not get it," Shaten said, a bit more forcefully this time. "Why Buffy would wants to hurt you? Is your fault not. You tried to stop him." Lexa looked over to the stunning Japanese girl. Showing her the curse - not wanting a do-over of Faith's introduction to her double-gendered state - had gone over rather well, actually. Shaten had been shocked, and had been upset at first - stating that the chances of being accepted after the clan found out, would be diminished. Faith had casually pointed out she wasn't marrying Lex anyway. That had calmed her down somewhat. Now, Lexa was equally 'Xander-dono' as Xander himself was.

For a moment Lexa wondered why she kept tolerating all this nicknames: 'Future husband,' for both his genders, 'Lexa' (for his male version), the ever lovable shortened, 'Lex' for both genders, which was in turn wrong for his girl gender, and now Xander-dono had joined the fray. Soon she'd be the person known as, 'the man, sometimes woman, with the most nicknames given by girls'. She dismissed the thought, closed her slightly opened mouth, and turned with twinkling eyes back to Faith. "Faith, look! Another one! We've got a third sane female in our little group! I'm almost starting to think we have a chance at one day outnumbering the insane ones!" Lexa commented with a bright grin, which made Shaten frown.

Faith chuckled lightly, and said, "Maybe we should start an action group, 'Sane Women for Converting Women to Sanity.'"

Lexa smiled brightly and looked back at the confused Shaten, and said, "I like that, I like that a lot." To Lexa's surprise, she hadn't actually come up with the observation of seemingly being the only two sane females in Sunnydale - it had been Faith's after Pike getting his ass kicked by Lotion. She had actually made a list - starting with 'Amazons' without even bothering to explain things, to girl couples that barely seemed to be able to be around each other without falling to depression one day, and the next couldn't keep their hands and lips off each other, and a girl who had decided that she was the queen bitch of Sunnydale so she went to tame a werewolf. (This last she had found out after actually asking Cordelia about it, the concept of coming to the idea of 'taming' a werewolf so out there, she couldn't figure out how someone could come up with the idea.) Lexa gave Shaten a smile, and said, "Watch this."

Having mustered up the courage thusly, Lexa grabbed the horn off the hook, and dialed Buffy's number. Someone picked up, and introduced herself. "Hey, Buffy, Xander here. I need to tell you something," Lexa said into the phone.

Faith listened carefully, but she couldn't understand Buffy's response - the sound too soft, too unclear and too far away to make things out. She continued to watch Lexa.

"Well, Pike was here, Thursday," Lexa said with a face crunched up in caution. Faith still couldn't hear what Buffy was saying, but she had a good idea. "He tried to defeat Lotion again of course - got his ass kicked; of course." Lexa paused to wait for Buffy's response. Faith could imagine this one as well - exasperation at her ex's continued behavior. Lexa made for the finish. "Well, what I really called to say, was that I tried to explain to him trying to defeat Lotion was useless, starting to give examples of how long and hard Ranma has trained in his life - and well, I may have mentioned Jusenkyo." Lexa paused, obviously because Buffy was saying something. Faith could figure this one out as well, the desperate, half-confused request for further information, without voicing that she desperately wanted to hear something else than what she was fearing. Lexa continued, "He took it wrongly and decided he needed to master the Jusenkyo training grounds, so you should be ready he'll return cursed - like me."

A pregnant, momentary pause. _#WHAT!?#_ Oh, Faith heard that one.

"Ow!" Lexa exclaimed yanking the phone from his ear, and started rubbing it. Shaten's eyes widened, looking at the phone from which now sounded a string of profanities that would make a hardened criminal blush - all very well understandable.

"Fuck, I think that hurt _/my/_ ear," Faith muttered, squinting her face, and looking at the phone more than a half a meter away, from which the screaming continued to come very audibly.

Lexa looked at the phone for a moment, and then pushed it in front of her, facing away, and she said, "God, am I glad I did this over the phone."

_#WHAT DID YOU SAY!? XANDER!? LEXA!? I'M GOING TO . . .#_

Carefully Lexa placed the screaming horn on the table next to the phone. She waited for a moment, and then turned to Faith and from her to Shaten, telling them both, "Thankfully she's not reaching through the phone. Let's get ready for our night out."

Lexa got up, and Shaten and Faith did the same, following her to the bedroom, both looking back at the phone and hook from which Buffy's voice still sounded - one with a grin, the other with confusion.

-----

Lexa by now was wearing a short, tight, black skirt, high-heeled ankle boots, and a shiny, light blue, sleeveless blouse without buttons that left her midriff bare and flowed from her right shoulder to down beneath her left one, allowing the top of her left breast to peak over its edge. Her shoulder-length hair was loose. Faith was in her leather pants, and wore a shiny long-sleeved pink shirt, that had curly patterns on it in the pink to purple spectrum, as well as her usual heavy makeup. Medium-heeled shoes finished her ensemble. They had waited with doing Shaten last, so they could work on her together, and get going right after. The girl ninja was now in nothing but a white pair of panties and a bra.

"The bra's got to go too," Faith commented, taking in the olive-skin of the Japanese girl critically. Shaten looked nervous. "You're going out girl, specifically to attract your future husband. Off," Faith prompted.

Shaten shyly looked at Lexa, very much aware still, that it was her former future husband, Xander-dono. Lexa understood, and made a throwaway gesture, saying, "Oh, psah." She walked forward and around the other girl to stand behind her, "I've seen breasts. Hell, I've got 'em, and I won't bite." Lexa deftly unhooked the bra and pulled it off, letting it drop to the bed. Shaten blushed lightly and brought her arms up, and not quite wanting to seem like a prude, stopped just under her breasts.

"Emphasize the athletic structure," Faith said, and then looked up past Shaten's head at Lexa who was still behind her. Both of them said at once, "Tight leather pants."

Lexa walked past the two to her clothes closet, and pulled said pants out, while saying, "Let's hope they're not too big." She held up her leather pants to the smaller girl, and said, "Guess we'll find out soon. Put them on."

"Okay, but, what if not fit?" Shaten asked cautiously hopeful, taking the pants from Lexa.

"Then I'm pretty sure that Willow's will fit," Lexa said with a smile as Shaten eyed the pants. "And we'll go over to hers and plunder her closet."

Tight leather pants to show off her figure to attract her future husband - to Shaten, the concept was still new and unfamiliar. "Always thought choose husband I would from suitors. Princess of village would mean of those plenty," Shaten said, having forgotten about her topless state as she held up the leather pants.

"Trust me, girl," Faith answered her with a light smirk, allowing her eyes to roam the perfectly trained body, "You would have them anyway." Shaten looked over to the slightly taller girl, and then started to put on the pants. A little later she had it on, and Faith and Lexa took the pants in critically. It was not very tight, but still followed the contours of her body enough that it wasn't too bad. There were a few folds here and there, but it worked - the not really tight pants showed her great figure well.

"Needs a belt, though," Lexa said, and returned back to her closet, and picked out two belts - one black, the other red. "Black or red," Lexa said, and looked over her left shoulder at Faith. "Red," the two said simultaneously with a nod, and Lexa hung the black on back. She came over and put the belt through the holes for them, and pulled on both sides, than slid the lip side through the buckle.

"Uh," Shaten grunted as Lexa yanked the belt tight. Then she finished closing it. With the belt it looked better. The ninja girl looked down, twisted her body from left to right to take the pants in, not entirely sure.

"We need to buy ones that fits properly next time around, you got access to money?" Faith asked the ninja girl.

"Hai," Shaten replied with a nod of her head and upper torso.

"Plenty? Clothes cost a lot more than a cheap motel room," Faith asked again - she and Xander had convinced the girl to get her own motel room the day before instead of remaining in Xander's apartment.

"Village princess. Village not poor," Shaten said with a glare, her arms instantly folded across her torso.

"Okay, okay," Faith said with a nervous smile. She so didn't want the sword-wielding super ninja chick pissed with her.

Lexa then critically looked at Shaten's breasts, and then down to her own, who were quite a bit bigger. "Faith, my tops aren't going to fit. We are going to have use one of yours," Lexa said, looking at Faith. The girl looked at Lexa and nodded solemnly. She didn't have much clothes with her - a couple of things she managed to stuff inside her backpack - but that was it. Unlike a certain ninja village princess, Faith was poor.

Faith then smiled, nodded, and said, "And I think I got just the thing too." Faith walked out the bedroom and went to the bathroom, where a drawer cupboard had room for her clothes. She returned to the bedroom moments later, holding up a black leather top. It had no sleeves or straps, just hooks to close in her back. It was mostly a bra with an extension downward, that wouldn't reach Shaten's bellybutton.

Shaten looked at it, even more uncertain. "Just that?" she asked a little uncertain.

"What?" Faith asked confused, it looked magnificently fine to her.

"You want to attract a future husband, or not?" Lexa asked, half confused, half bitingly.

Faith narrowed her eyes at the ninja, and asked, "Say, aren't you ninja all about assassinations? I thought you ninja chicks were trained to seduce men into their beds and then kill them during sex?"

"Hai," Shaten answered, once more nodding with her entire torso. An obvious 'but' formed on her face though, crunched up in uncertainty and embarrassment, she was literally twiddling her thumbs in front of her. "Just . . . didn't take tlaining. Village princess . . ."

"Oh, great," Faith said defeated, and looked at Lexa. Lexa had alleviated some of her anxiety at this by pointing out that Shaten for that reason should have enough seduction techniques at her disposable. All they had to do, was teach her how to modify them for the American husband market - uh, culture. "Now we have to teach her from scratch!" Faith accused Lexa flapping her arms up and down to her legs in defeat, the top going to her left hand, making a loud flap sound.

"She's got enough feminine instincts - just get her dressed already," Lexa said, remaining positive, while Shaten looked apologetic from one to the other.

"Fine," Faith said, and gestured for Shaten to turn around. Once she had, Faith put the top on, and went about closing the fasteners on the back. Shaten looked a little uncomfortable halfway through the closing.

Once the top was on, they turned the girl back around, and checked her out. She looked good, the breasts slightly pressed upward. "Very tight," Shaten offered her opinion.

"No pain, no gain," Faith returned with a rather sadistic grin.

"Have to agree with my esteemed colleague this time, Shaten. You'll have to suffer a little - we all do," Lexa added with a smirk. "Now only makeup and hair, and then shoes."

-----

Lexa, Shaten, and Faith were walking along the sidewalk, almost arriving at the Bronze. Shaten was in the middle of the two. She still had her pony tail - her two mentors having decided it looked very good on her; they'd only fluffed it up a bit. Soft purple/red lipstick and light highlights around her eyes completed her look. The shoes she wore were high heels, and although she'd never worn them, her ninjutsu, since early childhood sense of balance had her walking in them as if she was born with them on her feet.

"Alright, let's recap," Lexa said, gesturing toward Shaten and walking sideways looked her in the eye, "Dance . . ." she prompted.

Shaten took the prompt and said, "Sway hips, smile, laugh at guy's jokes - but not like an idiot . . . uh . . . be interested in what he has to say, don't forget his name, speak about myself, be honest, but not brutally so, most notably do not yet reveal quick marriage plans."

"And don't be afraid to touch him gently above the waist area," Faith added with a nod, smiling. Maybe this was going to work after all . . . the dating at least - getting a guy to marry her and move to Japan - not much hope on that one according to her.

"But don't paw him continuously," Lexa warned lightly, "do it continuously and you look like an idiot."

"Or a complete slut," Faith added her observation.

"Right," Shaten said, nodding confidently, and then frowned. "This is confusing. I wish I find man with just snap of finger."

"Don't we all," Lexa said wistfully.

Faith smirked and said, "I can do that." Shaten turned her head to look at Faith with accusation - why hadn't she just taught her that.

"For a quick screw, but not your life mate," Lexa countered her friend, making Shaten look over at Lexa for a moment, and then back at Faith.

Faith shrugged, and said, "Get knocked up during the quick screw." She peered to her left at Lexa and Shaten, smirking in anticipation of whatever reaction was going to come.

"Knocked up?" Shaten asked confused, looking from her left mentor to her right one, and back again.

"Pregnant," Lexa clarified with an annoyed look at Faith, who wiggled her eyebrows back at her once.

"Oh," Shaten said, thinking it over, "Try without first." Faith laughed out loud, which reduced down to chuckling

"You are an evil woman, Faith," Lexa said with annoyance, as they reached the Bronze. Faith shrugged, unable to keep the smile off of her face, and grabbed the handle of the door, opening it.

"After you two," Faith said with a flourish, that elicited a sigh from Lexa, and a confused look from Shaten.

-----

Lexa and Faith had placed themselves at the bar and watched . . . and watched with dropped jaws. Shaten was dancing at their advice . . . if that's what you could call what she was doing. Amid others, her elbow moved to the right, into the back of some guy. "AH!" the guy explained.

"I'm sorry, sorry," Shaten blurted out, interrupting her "dancing", touching the guy gently to give him support. He squatted her hands away angrily. Shaten started "dancing" again, standing on some girl's toes, making her jerk her foot up and cradle it, hopping. It was quite a feat too, considering that her back was turned toward Shaten. "Sorry, sorry," Shaten said, reaching for the girl to keep her from falling over, the girl's date doing the same and glaring Shaten away.

Shaten continued to "dance", arms and feet flailing about, many more sorries following.

"How the hell can someone so graceful and agile fighting, turn into that much of a spaz on the dance floor?" Lexa asked of Faith, dumbfounded at the spectacle.

"I'm blank, Lexa, I got no clue," Faith muttered slowly in horror. Shaten tripped over her own feet and slammed into someone else, who went to topple over as Shaten landed face first on to the unforgiving dance floor - which promptly surrendered and caved in a bit, because the ninja had instinctively drawn her life force up for protection.

Lexa turned her head toward Faith, who was to the right of her, and said, "Quickly, Faith, please."

Faith sighed, but was already getting up, and moving toward Shaten who was getting up herself. The dance floor was in disarray two more people having fallen already and threatening to turn into dominos. Just in time Faith grabbed and steadied a wobbling guy, who gave a thankful nod and smile as found his balance returning. Faith paid him no heed and turned to Shaten, who was attempting to start to dance again. She grabbed her by the upper harm, and yanked her off, dragging her along toward the exit.

"Oh, brother," Lexa muttered, and turned around. "Bartender," Lexa commanded, and the bartender turned toward her. Then she ordered, "Give me the strongest thing you got a minor can drink, and make it a double."

"Sure thing," the bartender answered and went to get it with smile.

Lexa let her head fall onto the bar and groaned. "I'm doomed."

-----

"Hey! Let go!" Shaten exclaimed highly annoyed now. The other girl had dragged her outside and then off into an alley. Faith did indeed let go. "What for did you do?" Shaten asked annoyed.

"Do you want to dance, or do you want to kill everyone on the dance floor?" Faith asked bluntly, folding her arms across her chest. Shaten looked embarrassed. "Then shut up, and learn. We're going to teach you the tried and true method of standing still and wiggling your body, but no arms or legs. Anything more advanced, will have to wait till you're not on the dance floor and put people in the hospital trying to learn."

"Okay," Shaten said self-consciously giving a slight bow to Faith in deference.

"Now, put your legs together, and wiggle your ass back and forth, like so," Faith said, and demonstrated, standing in one position and making a gentle dance movement. Shaten copied Faith . . . or at least tried to, making sharp, jerking movements. "No! Lexa's right! How can you be this stiff when you're so damn agile while doing your martial arts! Think sleek! Think hanging upside down from a tree, dropping yourself, somersault and landing on the ground like a sleek cat!"

"Hai," Shaten answered nervously, eyebrows arched upward to think how she moved normally. Her modifications to the movement made it more flowing but still not what it should be.

"Good enough . . . barely," Faith muttered annoyed as all hell, making Shaten more self-conscious. Faith was the same - two months ago she wouldn't be caught dead making dance movements out in the middle of nowhere, helping out someone or not. It still felt like she was some nerdy girl who didn't have the guts to step inside the club. "Hand positions, emphasis on 'positions', no movement, just a place to have them," Faith warned, and Shaten dutifully nodded her head. "Up at chest, or down by side, once you've chosen position - don't change it," Faith told Shaten with some urgency. She wanted to go back in the club, she had much better things to do that tutor this killing machine on how to dance - like get laid, they didn't come much better than that.

Shaten moved her hands out, and elbows out, as she wiggled. She looked like a dumb bird with too small wings trying to flap them about - a drunk dumb bird unable to stand up straight try to flap her wings about. "No, no!" Faith exclaimed, horror on her face. She stepped forward, powerfully grabbed Shaten's elbows and forced them down. "These are weapons of mass destruction with you, keep them tucked in! Not to mention you look like a chicken with its wings cut in two! In!"

Shaten nodded with nervous concentration and complied with Faith's rough request. Faith looked at Shaten, and sighed. "Try down," Faith said. Shaten did as told, and wiggled about with her arms closely to her chest. Faith sighed again, and then pointed back toward the entrance to the Bronze with a resolute finger, and said, "It'll have to do."

-----

Faith let the Japanese girl back on the dance floor while she walked back to the bar to join Lexa. "Well?" Lexa asked as Faith took the drink that was waiting for her.

Faith turned around to look at the dancing crowd, and said, "Let's hope for the best."

So the two went to watch the proceedings hopefully. Shaten got back on the dance floor, and "danced". She wiggled her body as taught by Faith to the beat of the music - and was no longer in danger of killing people. "So far so good," Lexa said, starting to get optimistic. A few members of the male species started noticing Shaten and dancing close.

"So far much better even," Faith commented with a smile. Chances they were going to pull this off were going up by the moment. One boy even started dancing very closely to Shaten. Now Shaten only had to like him, and they were half-way there!

Shaten's elbow slammed back into the boy's gut, making him double over with a pained grunt. A moment later the boy went sailing over Shaten's shoulder and slammed painfully into the dance floor. Before anyone could comprehend what had happened, and who had done it, Lexa was over with Shaten, grabbed her by the upper arm and yanked off the dance floor in frustration. She put Shaten on a bar stool and exclaiming with annoyance, as Faith was gulping down her drink in defeat. **"-What's wrong with you!-"** Lexa exclaimed, all but hissing angrily. "Why did you do that?"

"Boy grabbed my ass," Shaten said imperiously, pointing over to the crime scene. Her voice also carried a frustration, one she voiced moments later, "Boy grab ass is bad, is not?"

"He didn't grab your ass!" Lexa told her in frustration, "He danced close to your back, which happens to be where your ass is located. I watched, neither hand was anywhere close your ass!"

"About to take your hips and guide a bit more on the dance floor though, which would have been a good thing," Faith remarked dryly with the failure.

"Still too familiar," Shaten said, folding her arms across her chest.

"Of course he's familiar! That's the point of dancing. It's the art of vertical seduction and foreplay! Gah!" Lexa exclaimed in frustration, running her hands through her hair. She signaled the bartender for another double, while telling Shaten, "Just look at the dance floor." She pointed over her shoulder behind her.

Shaten blinked and looked to the dance floor, where indeed the dancers, male and female, were touching body to body as they danced to the rhythm of the music. "Oh," Shaten answered a little embarrassed.

"Hey, Lexa, maybe we should just give her an example on how to seduce guys, huh?" Faith suggested, planning on not letting their part of the evening go to waste.

Lexa downed the glass of tasty liquid - which wasn't alcohol so it didn't do anything for her but taste good. She turned to Faith, and realized the girl was right. This had been a disaster. And what better way to feel better than to 'seduce' a guy? It would be wrong to say she wasn't looking forward to it, as well as being somewhat nervous. Bisexual. Xander Harris with a boy. If someone had told her that over a year ago, she'd have called the men in white robes with the nice straight-jackets. Of course, back then she was still all-boy, and not a girl half the time. And if someone had suggested she'd be a girl half the time, she'd have killed the person on the spot considering him a demon or vamp, or otherwise pure evil. Now, she was both genders. A blessing, and curse all wrapped in one.

"You're right, Faith," Lexa said and turned around, leisurely scanning the crowd for her 'prey'. "Shaten, pay attention to us, then pay some more attention to everything going on, then go to your temporary home on the mouth of hell. We'll pick up getting you a worthy husband tomorrow. Right now, we need to get rid of some steam, right, Faith?"

"Oh, yeah," Faith said with a wide grin. She looked at Lexa with a smile. This was going to be so awesome. She'd get to coach her best friend in losing her virginity. "See anyone you like?"

Lexa's eyes found a guy soon after. She smiled slyly, imagining for a moment, and noticed the interesting changes in her body. She allowed the feelings to slowly mount, as she said, "Oh, yeah."

Faith looked over at where Lexa was watching. He saw a few girls, and only two guys Lexa could really be looking at. Faith knew who she herself would be going for: the jock had a nice body. Lexa would never go for a jock. Faith had learned a while ago, that Lexa and jocks - as well as cheerleaders - didn't mix. She'd rather kill herself than even kiss a jock, losing her virginity to a jock - she'd happily jump into hell and be tortured there for an eternity before that happened. Which could only mean one thing - it was the other guy. "Jonathan?" Faith asked lightly incredulous, as well as knowing her best friend was going to need her expertise with him. Jonathan was a nerd, a nervous guy, most of the time. Faith being the last to enter the class, found herself in the only remaining seat, next to Jonathan in geography. From what she had heard, before Lexa had outed him to the whole school as 'handsome' he'd been a lot worse than now, and he was pretty bad. At least the guy had gotten some kissing action from her best friend's pronouncement.

"He's handsome," Lexa said with a smile. Next to them, Shaten remained quiet, observing in anonymity with no one noticing her, like only a ninja could. Even Faith and Lexa barely remembered she was there.

"You don't wanna go for blistering hot instead?" Faith asked her best friend. This was her virginity they were talking about, the first time, it should be more than a little good - even if that was rarely, if at all, the case.

Lexa turned her head to Faith, and pulled her arms to behind her head, stretching her legs relaxedly. She answered her friend with a smile, "Maybe handsome is my idea of blistering hot." She smirked at Faith daring her to say anything.

Faith just rolled her eyes, and said, "Well, there's no accounting for taste. So what's your game plan?"

Lexa looked at Faith with a light frown. She was pretty confident she could pick up a guy, she didn't exactly see the need for much advice there. "I'm going to knock him senseless with just this," Lexa answered her with a smile, gesturing to her body, and her pushed out chest. She stood up sexily to emphasize the point, putting one hip out.

"Lexa, Lexa, Lexa, I'm going to have to teach you many a seduction routine yet, I see," Faith told her friend with a grin as she shook her head. She turned to the guy, and gestured, "Look at him, Lex. He's got nervous wreck written all over him. He's a geek, no matter how handsome or blistering hot he may be." Lexa looked and shrugged lightly, as Faith was probably right. The Potential Slayer had turned to look at her friend and said, "You go at him with the you'll-come-in-your-pants-before-I-even-get-there routine, you're going to turn the wreck into a ruin. He'll be like a blow up doll with a mounted dildo in bed - you'll be doing all the work. You might as well get a dildo and do it yourself. And Lex, you're here to lose your virginity, not do it yourself."

Dang. Faith had a point, Lexa realized. "Okay, you're right, great sensei. What do you suggest your humble student do?" Lexa asked Faith lightly.

"Art of seduction number four; the I'm-a-nervous-wreck-too,-you-know routine, especially effective if you're a little nervous for real, like for your first time. Show him you're interested, use just a little of your body, and be nervous and jittery - tell him, show him, that you're no better off than him, play on his male-must-protect-female instincts, so he loses some of his nervousness, bolster his confidence. Build him up, so by the time you get to the bedroom, he's ready to take, not be taken," Faith said sagely - without being all that sagely.

Lexa nodded, and then smiled, "I can do that. What about you?"

Faith gave a nod with her head, and Lexa looked over to the dance floor where Faith had nodded toward. The dance floor had quite some people on it, and Lexa couldn't tell who Faith meant. "Scott Hope," Faith said with a sly smile. Scott Hope was dancing rather intimately with another girl. Before Lexa could say anything about it, Faith added, "Right after I teach the bitch who's trying to get into his pants right now her place."

"Ah," Lexa said with a frown.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to insult her anything like Cordelia's former posse would, I'm just going seduce Scotty away from her so fast, she'll wonder what the fuck happened, and know she doesn't stand a chance against me," Faith said with a smile.

Lexa rolled her eyes and then 'nervously' made her way toward Jonathan.

-----

**An hour later**

Two couples half stumbled, half walked into Xander Harris' apartment. One couple consisted of Lexa and Jonathan, the other was comprised of Faith and Scott Hope. While kissing and fondling the former worked their way, stumbling past furniture to the bedroom to the left, while the latter moved toward the couch that could and soon would be unfolded into a bed.

Lexa fumbled for the door knob as she was kissing Jonathan. Finally she found it and the door flung open under their combined weight. They fell into the room, but managed to remain standing somehow, their tongues pleasurably massaging each other. With a kick backward, Jonathan closed the door, and as it slammed shut, they broke apart for a bit. Lexa looked down, her back arched back lightly as his right arm was around her waist. She smiled, and took a step back, starting to undress. Jonathan took the cue and started to undress himself as well.

When they were naked he looked her up and down, with wide almost disbelieving eyes. He was a guy, he had fantasies, they paled in comparison to what was standing in front of him. His fantasies would be going through an upgrade. Lexa's body had curves everywhere, and an athletic musculature to boot, she was magnificent. The result was predictable, he was hard before he knew it, and was instantly self-conscious. Doubts were running through his mind and his expression matched it. Getting hard so early, would she freak? Would it mean he'd come too soon and disappoint her?

Lexa had only vaguely noticed Jonathan's discomfort. She was just marveling at the lust running through her body. She was going to do it with a guy on her first time, and he was hot. Granted, he didn't have bulging muscles, or even prominent ones, but he still had some. His stomach wasn't a washboard thin and hard, but it was still smooth. His legs weren't the perfect runner's legs, but they were nice enough shaped. Couple it with his handsome face and he was most certainly more than adequate to Lexa. And last, but not least, was his penis. His hard, erect, fleshy penis, that looked absolutely delectable. Big too. She knew with a quick comparison that her male body was slightly larger endowed, but thinking about getting it inside of her, further moistening her pussy, made it seem much bigger, but not in a bad manner. She had never imagined it would be like this on this side of the fence. She wanted to touch it, feel it, explore it, wanted it thrust inside her.. She felt like she was on fire - nervousness about her first time as a girl with a guy forgotten. Before Jonathan's nervousness could affect his mood aversely, Lexa was with him, holding him by the head, kissing him ferociously, and pulling him to bed

They sank down upon it. Jonathan partially on top and partially in front of her. She had said she was a virgin. A virgin! She had been all nervous and skittish confessing to him she wanted him to be her first. He had to make it good for her; even if his own virgin mind was doing cartwheels of happiness and wanted jump on board and enjoy this, her, as fast and as thoroughly as possible. He wasn't going to do that, though. No. His brain was furiously pushing the cartwheels aside and searching about inside his rather vast - even if he did say so himself - reservoir of knowledge. It didn't take it long to remember some informative texts on the female body he had once read through in a magazine somewhere - it payed to have a good memory. The one time in his life it was good to be a nerd.

Having come up with a course of action, he put a little more pressure on Lexa's sides, pushing her back, while he kissed and moved purposefully forward himself. Then somehow he slipped, fell forward and banged his upper body lightly against hers. He had managed to catch himself and move aside only just, or he would have banged his head against hers and knocked her out, or worse, could it be worse? He felt the blush racing up his face, and stammered, "S-sorry." Great going, idiot! Way to ruin all this.

The kiss was nice, amazing. Lexa liked his hands on her waist, and when they suddenly grew a little firmer, and with determination pushed her backward further on the bed, she couldn't keep her lips from curving upward gently. He pushed his lips more forcefully against hers too. She should remind herself to thank Faith, because she had been most definitely right. This was good, really good, she liked that he took charge; it felt like he was taking care of her, while he readied to take her virginity. Her entire body tingled in anticipation - her virginity was something she felt she had to lose, not be a do-it-yourself project. She made another mental note to thank Faith, and he slipped. Their lips disengaged, and he almost banged his head against hers, but managed to move it out of the way just in time, only to bang lightly with his cheek against her right shoulder, while his chest landed against hers. Her face was wide with the surprise, and she just watched as he jerked back and turned beet red instantly. "S-sorry," he stammered out.

Lexa shivered. This was turning out better than she had hoped: he had moved to keep her from getting hurt, not to avoid getting hurt himself. The whole sensation of being taken care of doubled, if not tripled instantly - and it had been there ever since he rejected her offer earlier. She giggled, not even knowing it disarmed Jonathan's embarrassment just in time. The giggle came from the depth of her being, and it spread around her body to mix with her arousal. It was indeed that the almost head slam was funny, but much more importantly the absolute magnificence of what was about to happen, with who and how she was doing it, as well of innate absurdity of her very existence, and thus the whole situation. A _/good/_ absurdity. God, it was _/so/_ good to be both genders - that was lucky enough, and then she got this gentle but strong, and handsome guy to do the honors.

"Don't worry about it," Lexa said, skirting backward, while pulling him along gently. "It's our first time, we're allowed to fumble."

Jonathan heard the words, but he could barely believe them. He continued onward after her gentle prodding, marveling at this magnificent girl - he was certain any other girl would have tossed him out of the room for being such a klutz. If only he was actually in love with her - and she with him. This whole situation was so amazing. When she had offered a night of sexual pleasure, he had been about ready to kill anyone standing in between them and the bed they'd be having it in. Then she had nervously revealed she was a virgin, the angel inside him had won. Even as every male instinct and ego was telling him to do it, and a devil slapping him silly for his decision, a little angel had won out, and he had explained he wasn't in love with her and it should be someone special like that to do the honors. Lexa's eyes had started sparkling more than they already were - and how eyes could sparkle he didn't know - and told him, still nervous, but in no uncertain terms that she wasn't with him either, he couldn't hurt her feelings, that she considered him special, and it was simply time for her to have sex, wanting a nice night, that he tickled her fancy, and that if he declined, she'd do it with the first male she'd walk into. Angel, instinct, ego and devil had aligned as one behind him, slapped his shoulder supportively and told him, "Make us proud."

And he would make them proud, he would. The memory made him smile with a bit of a predator in there, which made Lexa kiss him ferociously. They aligned with the bed, and he felt her soft fingers roam all over his torso. He pushed her head down on her pillow with his own, kissing all the way. He broke the kiss, and gave her a meaningful look. Then he went downward.

Lexa looked as Jonathan went down, passed her breasts, both to her excitement and disappointment. Was he really going . . .? His head went down to her body, and then kissed her gently just above her moist sex. He wasn't. She found it didn't matter, he was starting to kiss and kiss and kiss. Slowly placing kisses from left to right and slowly upward, then right to left, up, and left to right again. By the third kiss she was already hooked, moaning with mounting desire and pleasure, as he slowly kissed his way up her body and made her skin surge with ecstasy. He reached her breasts, and she was desperate for him to kiss and fondle them. He ignored them. Once again it didn't matter; the pleasurable kisses and rubbing of her skin continued above them, and she was at their mercy. She couldn't keep still as the sensation demanded she gyrated her body, and rubbed her inner thighs and arms together to get some stimulation. Yet, oddly, she couldn't move; moaning and shivering, she could only remain flailing about in the same spot, enduring the pleasure. The kisses went up her neck, and then he nibbled her right earlobe, gently laying down on her as he did so. Her arms wrapped around him, and rubbed up and down his back, as she kissed him back on his face wherever she could reach.

This was torture. His manhood was so hard it ached. He wanted to be in her. 'Don't just pay attention to the obvious, a woman's body is one entire erogenous zone.' That was in the article he remembered reading. The plan had been to go to her right arm right now, then her right leg, her left leg, then her left arm, and only then go to the obvious. But he was a hormonal teenager, the arms and legs could go to hell. He'd be the one going to hell if he didn't get to enjoy those obvious parts right now. Rapidly he left the earlobe, and fondled and squeezed her breasts, kissing and licking them, especially paying attention to the nipples - and even having the nerve to very gently scrape his teeth over them.

"Please," Lexa moaned in pleading. This was torture. Delicious torture that she'd happily undergo for another hour, and more, but torture still. She was about ready to explode, every bit of the skin where he had kissed felt like it was hyper sensitive. The occasional brush of his teeth against her skin sent jolts of pleasure shooting through her body. Jonathan gave in to her pleading, although not quite the way Lexa had in mind. He went down, pulled her outer lips gently apart, sucked and licked around for a bit for the experience and taste, and then flicked his tongue over her clit, mixing it up with sucking. With the way he had built Lexa up, it didn't take any more. Her back arched involuntarily, muscles in her stomach clenched and unclenched, and a rush of bliss shot through her body. "I'm coming! Oh, god, I'm coming! Nnngh!" Lexa exclaimed as the climax took her away from the world.

As quickly as it came, the pleasure ebbed away, leaving the part-time girl in a pleasant after glow. Jonathan rose back up, marveling at the taste. "You're delicious," he said, licking his lips. Lexa laughed deliriously for a bit.

Jonathan was still impatient, so he asked, "You ready?"

The question penetrated Lexa's mind, slowly rising from the afterglow. "I am, you're not quite," Lexa muttered and gestured to the night stand to her right.

Jonathan frowned. He leaned over and opened it, revealing its contents, including a strip of condoms his eyes focused instantly on. A lot of condoms for a virgin. As he reached over he asked nervously, "Are you really a virgin?"

"Uhuh," Lexa answered, to much enjoying herself to really understand or care where the question might be coming from.

It didn't sound like a lie. The square package containing the condom tore from the strip, and then Jonathan remembered. She lived with her cousin Xander, didn't she? This had to be his stash she borrowed for the night! Stupid square package, he thought as he fumbled with the annoying thing. Finally it tore open and he took the yellow-colored see-through condom out. It took him a moment of figuring the thing out, another few moments of fumbling, but he got it on.

"Now you're ready," Lexa purred, looking Jonathan up and down with unbridled lust. If the delay and the fumbling had gotten him soft, that statement would have been enough to make him hard again in an instant. Instead the instant was used by him to get back in position and bend down over her, so they're lips could meet and they could kiss. He squeezed her breasts gently for a moment, before he aligned himself with the moist heaven waiting for him.

This was it. He was going to lose his virginity, he could hardly believe it. He didn't waste time dwelling on it though, and simply placed the tip of member at the entrance of her vagina. He looked in her eyes, and she told him breathlessly, "Do it." He grabbed her waist, and pushed in gently, looking down at it. He shivered as he felt her warm and moist flesh envelop him, and heard her moan out with delight.

The feeling of his thick member pushing her flesh aside to enter was heaven. His cock slid along the walls of her vagina, the friction sending magnificent sensations through her. She moaned, closing her eyes to focus completely on the magnificent sensation. This was it. She opened her eyes again, and looked up in his face. He had reached her hymen, she could feel it resting against it. Her heart thumped in her throat as she took him in, her hands on his upper arms as they were holding him. My god how much she wanted him to do it.

Jonathan's hesitation at feeling the tip of his penis through the condom against the obstruction was only momentary. He had already figured out that Lexa wanted to enjoy being taken by him; and wimping out now, or hesitating too long would defeat that. He pushed through the obstruction, hard, but remaining as gentle as he could. He figured he rather hurt her a bit and be through, than failing to penetrate her virginity and having to try again. Some pain, but once, he figured, was preferable to getting a thin, fragile, sensitive piece of skin pounded multiple times.

"Urgh," Lexa groaned out, feeling his cock decisively and painfully push through. A moment of pain, followed by a dull ache, that didn't go away as his cock pushed deep inside her. Despite the pain, she felt not a moment's need to tell him to stop or pull out. In fact, the need to have him completely inside only intensified, while she gripped his upper hands as he used them to stay up. His right arm moved, and she let go of it, groaning as her insides continued to be stimulated. She felt his right gently move to the small of her back and pull her pelvis, making for an easier angle for her. "Ooh," she grunted out as their pubic bones met. His face was above her, and he gently laid down upon her, and she moved her own arms to encircle his shoulders and back.

"You okay?" he asked her a little concerned, keeping his hard member buried fully inside her to let her get used to it.

Was she okay? The painful ache, no longer agitated by the friction flesh sliding against flesh, was now pulsing gently with every beat of her heart. It probably meant she was bleeding just a little. A handsome, gentle, masculine and in charge lover had his erection penetrated inside her. Her sex was stretched to accommodate him. Her muscles fluttering occasionally with approval, and desires to squeeze her channel around him hit her, fueling her lust for him. Her entire body was surging with it, and was stimulated by him laying gently on top of her. And she could feel his muscles - even the geek had some - in his back gently flex underneath her hand - telling her he wanted to thrust inside him. Was she okay? She was better than okay.

"Fuck me," she said with a voice just above a whisper, dripping every bit of desire she felt for him.

Jonathan took that as a 'yes', and needed no more encouragement. He pulled back, and gently thrust back in, making Lexa moan. He waited a moment, as he made sure the moan was of pleasure, not pain. Then pulled back again, and thrust back in, faster this time. His patience and control slipped rapidly; the wet, warm, and tight emersion was just too good. His rhythm steadily increased, until he was going full speed on instinctive need alone.

The thrusts increased with strength and speed inside her. The friction and power as the hard penis stabbed into her were magnificent. Lexa groaned with happiness, undulating her body against his without much focus. She didn't quite know where to go with her hands, so they were wandering without much direction across his body. He had much the same trouble, but as before, it didn't matter. Both of them were running on instinct now, Jonathan thrusting into her, and Lexa moving her hips up to receive his thrusts and moaning with pleasure with each one. Time and place were gone from her experience, only his body pressing against hers, and the sensation of his hard cock repeatedly penetrating her deeply were left. Occasionally there was still a jolt of pain as he pistoled along the sore area, but she didn't care. The pleasure and her desire far outstripped them. Still high from her orally-induced orgasm, she was rising quickly to her second one.

It was good thing too, for Jonathan would never last long this very first time. It all felt too good. She was too tight, and her body riding against his enthusiastically, emitting moans and groans of pleasure were all too much. The whole event lasted no more than six and a half minutes. That's when Lexa couldn't hold it anymore, her body tightened and a new orgasm claimed her, moaning and groaning out her pleasure, as well as the name of the one giving them all to her. Jonathan's answer to the gasping out of his name, was to call out, "Oh, god." And a moment later he came himself, spilling his seed with desperate jerks and thrusts into the condom. Their lips met but moments later, Lexa desperately kissing her first lover while his body still jerked in orgasm, and squirted his cum into the piece of plastic inside her. Not long after the tension in his muscles disappeared, as did his jerking. Their lips broke apart as she slid down on top of her, two sweaty and satisfied bodies lying together.

"Oh, wow," Jonathan muttered, his body taking in hard, deep breaths.

Lexa was sucking in breath equally, and said, "Yeah." He was still inside her, and it felt good, even when he slowly started to grow smaller and softer. Hating to say it, preferring to remain entangled and breathing together, she said, "You gotta . . . take of condom before you . . . grow too soft."

"Oh, right," Jonathan said, and forced himself to his knees. He smiled down at her for a moment, marveling, and then carefully took a hold of the condom, and pulled his softening penis and condom from Lexa's sex. Once he'd taken it off, and looked around for a dustbin with a frown.

"Just dump it on the floor, and get back with me," Lexa said with a friendly and tired tone. "I'll clean it up later."

With a nod Jonathan complied, sliding back down and beside Lexa. "That was amazing," he said, looking at Lexa with marvel.

She nodded, a little giddy, and then kissed him on the lips.

-----

Moments earlier, on the other side of the door, a not all too dissimilar activity took place. With a final grunt Scott emptied his balls into his very own condom, and Faith moaned as she finished riding him, and herself, to orgasm. She sank down on him, and purred lightly, smiling in satisfaction at the couch bed holding up to a nice round of sex. Scott looked at the ceiling with a satisfied grin, Faith was good at this.

A moment later Faith sat up, and she got up off him fully, she said, "Alright, get rid of the condom, and then you can go."

"What?" Scott asked confused, looking at Faith as she ran her hands through her hair to make herself more presentable.

"Come now, you didn't think you could spend the night, did you? I got you here for the sex. Sex is done. Time to go," Faith said as she reached for her panties discarded earlier.

"But . . ." Scott tried in confused disbelief.

"No buts," Faith interrupted wiggling her panties over her ass, "get dressed. If you're not by the time I get back from saving my friend from the other idiot male, I'm tossing you out naked - and you better hope I have enough mind to give you your clothes." Satisfied her vagina was safely locked behind a pair of thin panties, she strode over to the bedroom door, and to Scott's astonishment purposefully opened it.

"Alright, I heard you finishing up!" Faith exclaimed with a smile, clapping her hands to get attention. Lexa and Jonathan sat up, the covers keeping them covered up to their chests. They looked with dropped jaws and confused frowns at Faith's arrival, listening to her speak. "You've had your fun, time to go."

"Time to go?" Jonathan and Lexa echoed and looked at each other, as Faith walked up to the bed with determination.

"Hut, hut," Faith said, walking over to Jonathan and reaching for him. "Don't complain now. The sex is over, it's all done, you're not getting anything else out of us. Pick up your clothes, and go home."

Lexa looked at the event with some attempts to not accept what she was seeing. While Jonathan desperately grasped for the pieces of his clothing, he tried, "But . . ."

"No buts," Faith said, half pushing half pulling Jonathan along and putting some more effort into it, "Be lucky you got this much out of us, now it's over. You gotta teach these guys we're our own women, Lexa, not their little play toys." Jonathan stumbled as Faith moved him along, and he desperately tried to keep his clothes in his hands. They passed through the door leaving a stunned Lexa behind, her mind still catching up with what was happening.

Faith marched with single determination toward the front door of the apartment, dragging a lightly protesting Jonathan along. "Scott," she said, looking at her sex partner for the night. Scott, finished with his pants and socks, needed to look only one moment Faith dragging Jonathan along, stumbling about trying not to fall to the floor, to know that he had no interest in such treatment. He quickly gathered his blouse and shoes and hurried to the front door. Faith opened it, and pushed the still naked Jonathan holding on to his clothes out the door. Scott quickly joined the guy out in the hallway. "Thanks for coming, see ya," Faith said, and all but slammed the door closed, smiling satisfactory.

Scott and Jonathan looked at the closed door with wide eyes, the last of the air displacement still making their hair move. After a moment they turned to look at each other, both equally stunned. Putting on his blouse, Scott was just about to offer a sympathetic comment, when a high-pitched yowl of pain sounded from behind the closed door. Said door was yanked open with equal fervor as it had been closed, once more displacing air, this time into the opposite direction. An angry Lexa Horne, naked and with obvious flexing muscles, was a fearful sight to behold. That very same angry Lexa Horne holding a previously equally intimidating Faith by a twisted right ear, now whimpering and yelping for her friend to let go, was down right terrifying. Not surprisingly then, when that sight greeted the two guys, they stiffened up fearfully and took an involuntary shuffle back, ready to run for their lives if need be. "Jonathan, get back in here," Lexa said with command, pointing her free, right thumb over her shoulder into the apartment. Jonathan didn't need to be told twice - Lexa was not someone he wanted to cross right now, and he was naked out in a hallway, holding his clothes in a best effort to remain decent.

As Jonathan quickly waddled back inside, Lexa started walking toward the couch, making Faith whimper after her. "Now, listen here, Faith," Lexa said angrily, easily pulling Faith along and making her sit on the couch, "tossing your guy out before he's even dressed is wrong in so many ways I don't even want to count them, but pulling_/my/_ guy out of bed, and tossing him out without one piece of clothing on, without even bothering to check whether we're actually done, or whether I even want him gone when we are, is just plain completely and totally screwed up. I don't know the way you roll, Faith, but once doesn't cut it for me and my guy, and I want to wake up with my head on his chest. So, Faith, _/you_/_ are_ going to remain right here, and go to sleep, _/you/_, Jonathan . . ." Lexa turned and pointed at the guy, the same finger that had been accusingly pointed at Faith throughout Lexa's rant, ". . . go to the bedroom, and _/you/_ . . ." Lexa turned to Scott standing just outside the open doorway and paused. Scott straightened at the pointed finger and command, his eyes wide, and his right hand unconsciously pointing at his chest, as if to say, _'Me?'_ A moment went by, and Lexa's brain caught up with her actions. She finished with a disinterested frown, "Yeah, I really don't care what you do."

Lexa let go of Faith's ear, and the whimpering girl let out a hiss, her right hand immediately at her ear to massage her aching flesh. Lexa turned and walked toward Jonathan waiting at the bedroom door with face full of marvel. Half-way there, Lexa turned her torso around, continuing to walk onward and pointing at Faith, she said, "Oh, and Faith, tomorrow you and I are going to have a _/long/_ talk." She turned back around and reached Jonathan, and reaching for his face, she prompted, "So?"

This whole deal, seeing Lexa lay down the law to Faith, getting him back to the bedroom and her confidence in his prowess had been quite a turn on. Enough of a turn on he found himself getting hard again, and he said, "Oh, I'm 'up' for round two if you are."

"If that isn't exactly what I wanted to hear," Lexa said with a purr, and kissed him deeply. She closed the door behind them as they shuffled to the bed.

Scott remained motionless for a moment, watching a stunned Faith rub her painful ear. Then he closed the apartment door, and said softly to himself, "Well, that was different." Still, he had gotten to have sex with a hot chick, so all in all it had been a good night. With a light smile, he walked toward the apartment complex exit.

-----

Jonathan awoke with a groan, and looked around him. He took in the bedroom that had gotten rather familiar last night, and noticed Lexa missing from the bed. He smiled as he took his sweet time remembering the night before, laying back down to do so. Lexa riding on top of him was a memory he particularly liked. Her lips and tongue wrapped around his member wasn't a bade one either. And then of course there was the mutually losing each other's virginity, taking hers, that would remain a big one for the rest of his life. Okay . . . so he particularly liked all of them. After a little bit he got up, and got his boxers from the floor and put them on. He opened the bedroom door and entered the apartment. Light easily streamed in through the balcony windows looking out to the beach. Faith was on her couch bed, and going by how her breathing was even and she occasionally shifted her position, she was still asleep.

Lexa was nowhere to be seen, but the sound of a running shower came from the bathroom across the room. Bathroom, Jonathan identified and walked over to the door leading to it. He found the door lock was white, indicated it was unlocked. Lexa had not locked the door. A moment he hesitated, but he figured she wouldn't mind the guy she'd had sex with the last time, lost her virginity to, walking in on her shower. In fact . . . there might even be some continuation. Oh! Jonathan reached for the handle, and thought to himself, _-You've been corrupted. Oh, thank you, God!-_

Inside Xander stepped out the shower and turned it off. He went for the wash bin in the middle of the bathroom, and looked himself in the mirror. He grinned. Last night may have started disastrous with Shaten, but one Jonathan Levinson had salvaged it. It had been magnificent in fact. He still remembered his gentle hands, the goosebumps going over his flesh, his manhood entering his vagina - the pleasure. And then round 2 and 3, he could still remember the taste . . .

The bathroom door opened and in stepped the subject of the memories. Xander's head turned to face it, and froze. Damn it! Spend a year without anyone and you've gotten the habit of not bothering to lock the bathroom door. Faith had walked in on him, or her, several times already and complained about it. She was right, as this situation aptly demonstrated - had got to start reminding himself to lock the stupid bathroom door.

Jonathan froze as he noticed a male figure instead of the expected female one. XANDER! The Xander that had been protecting his cousin for over a year from abusive males. And here he stood, the guy who only just took his cousin's virginity. In a moment he would put two and two together, and there'd be one more dead Jonathan. Xander was going to kill him! Or at least seriously maim him. He couldn't fight Xander Harris! The guy used to be a dork, and the popular crowd threatened by him still treated and designated him that way, but most people realized - Xander Harris had returned last year a different guy - a very powerful, very fast guy. He was so screwed.

"Oh, hey Jonathan," Xander greeted, a little nervous. Last night, he, or perhaps rather she, had never bothered to question whether Jonathan was aware of her two-gender state, whether he had realized it, or someone had told him. He'd had other thoughts on his mind. And thus, today Xander still didn't know.

"Uh," Jonathan prompted at the casual greeting. No dismemberment? "Good morning, you didn't lock the door."

"Yeah, do that sometimes," Xander returned, and then Jonathan turned back around while closing the door behind him.

Jonathan nervously walked back into the apartment, and nervously started thinking about the situation. Did Xander simply not know yet? Or did he approve of his cousin's choice? Would he be able to flee if 'yes' to the first question and 'no' to the second once he found out? Wait a minute . . . where the hell was _/Lexa/_? It was that last question popping in his mind that started crystallizing things - especially since he was a comic book fan and he'd always known if one person disappears from just beside you, a super hero comes to save the day, and the person reappears again moments after the super hero disappears again, he'd know the person was the super hero. He might play along, but he'd know.

Maybe Lexa was just out doing groceries or something. It could work, it was after all a 100 guy and a 100 girl. No doubt about that one. But he had never seen Lexa and Xander in the same room, had he? And Jonathan was not oblivious to the supernatural. In fact, he was a little of a spell caster himself. Nothing impressive really, a few items of protection and such. Not like Amy and Willow, who sometimes joined him and a few others in a few Wicca rituals. Those two were being taught by Ms. Calendar, and some of their little group had asked if they could be too.

His eyes fell on the door that would lead to the room right next to the bedroom he had spent the night in, on the left side of the apartment from the entrance. The door he had figured led to Xander's bedroom once he remembered Lexa and him shared an apartment. If that was a bedroom too. He walked over, reasonably swiftly, but silently, not wanting to wake Faith. He reached the door, and put his hand on the handle._ -Let it be a bedroom! Let it be a bedroom!-_ Jonathan thought. Then he opened the door . . . a gym. Not a bedroom. A gym. Silently, feeling himself grow a little pale, he closed the door in the exact reverse movement he had opened it . . . and kept the handle tightly in hand for support.

Xander entered the living room from the bathroom, wearing only a towel that reached from his waist to almost his knees. He was still glistening from water, not having the time to properly dry off, but he wasn't soaking wet anymore either. Xander seemed nervous. "Uh, hey," Xander said, he'd spent quite a while deciding whether he would turn into Lexa before coming out, wondering if Jonathan had figured it out, whether he even knew before hand, and if he could keep it a secret if he hadn't yet. Not that he particularly cared about keeping his double gender state a secret, it was just that the guy he lost his female virginity to knowing right now might not be the most pleasant experience.

"You're Lexa, aren't you?" Jonathan blurted out. An uncomfortable silence followed for a moment, while Jonathan waited nervously.

"Yes," Xander admitted solemnly. Again silence for a moment, and then Xander took a few steps forward, maneuvering the furniture and kicked out against Faith's bed-couch. "Faith!" he called at the same time.

"Huh? What?" Faith said, jerking to a sitting position as she awoke, looking blearily left and right, alertness rapidly returning to her.

"Get out," Xander said, making Faith focus on him - Xander - uncomprehending. "Get lost for an hour, will ya?"

Xander!? In a towel!? Last night they'd had sex, not with each other, and he had made pretty clear that the boy he'd, or rather she'd, had had sex with wasn't leaving until the morning. So either the guy had already left . . . wait, leave? She turned half around, and looked straight at a white-faced Jonathan, who seemed torn between just wanting her gone, or be gone himself. She turned back to Xander, looked up at him, and said, "Forgot to lock the bathroom door again, didn't ya?" He glared at her. "Fine, I'm going already, give you and your boyfriend some privacy," Faith said, gathering up articles of clothing of last night, and started putting them on, bare necessities first. She didn't see Jonathan grow paler, and Xander attempting a disarming, apologetic smile. "You know, this wouldn't have happened if you'd just let me toss him out," Faith said, and almost winced at her own words. The talk Lexa had promised last night, was going to be worse now, she just knew it. In fact, fearing a good ass kicking for the comment she sped off even faster than she had been intending. She opened the door, left the apartment, and closed it behind her again, while still putting on articles of clothing.

Once gone, Xander walked into his kitchen, only separated by the counter with the rest of the apartment. "Don't mind her comments, and you're not _/my/_ boyfriend," Xander said, managing to sound reasonably laid back. He figured that things would go over better if he was in his girl form, so he opened the cold water faucet, and splashed some on his face. Lexa rose, topless, and smiled at Jonathan who was taking in the change with wide eyes. "Fell into a cursed pool in China. Now I'm a girl with some cold water, and back to being good old Xander with some warm water," Lexa explained with a smile, and found to her relief that Jonathan's eyes lingered on her bare breasts. If he could still be attracted to her breasts, she hadn't broken him completely. She started walking back, from where she came, so she'd be walking into the apartment, closer to the furniture where she was planning to have this conversation, and closer to Jonathan. She untied the towel and pulled it up to retie it over her breasts at the same time, and even more at the same time, she said, "You're not a deviant, or a homosexual or anything like that you know. Even if that's nothing that would make you a bad person." She leaned her right hand gently on the television, smiled, and took a striking posing, bending her left leg at the knee - of course, in nothing but a short towel it was rather difficult to find a pose that was not striking.

Jonathan for his part, was drinking in Lexa. She was glistening with water, the towel barely concealing the globes of her breasts, and it barely got below her crotch. At her behind in fact, from his vantage point, he could just see the curve of her very shapely ass from the side, and it was decidedly below the towel. Her magnificent legs, both muscular and soft he knew from personal experience, glistened as well, and naked it only heightened their curvaceous form, not to mention the equally curvaceous form of the girl. If only she didn't have black hair, and was a geek like himself, someone who could talk back to him about Captain Picard versus Kirk, the Enterprise versus Defiant, the Defiant versus the Millennium Falcon, Sam Beckett meeting the Doctor or even jumping into the Doctor, and more of those things. If that were the case, he'd be interested in her for a lot more than her body and sex with that body.

. . . And if she wasn't a guy half the time of course.

A smile formed at that thought, and felt the nervousness recede, and warmth returning to his cheeks. After all, he might not be interesting in sharing his life with a girl that was a guy half the time, he hadn't had sex with the guy, he had sex with the girl. He had sex with a super hot girl of his school, and he didn't think anyone but a few knew she was a guy half the time anyway. Correction - he'd taken the _/hottest/girl/of/his/school's/ __**-/Virginity/-**_! So what if she turned into a guy with water through a curse?

"I'm glad you can still smile," Lexa said, grinning widely herself, knowing whatever more was coming couldn't be that bad now. She walked over to the bed-couch, and folded it, and Faith's sheets along with it, back into a couch, saying, "Come on, sit down." When the bed was a couch once more, she sat down in the corner of the other, to Jonathan leftmost, couch, that together with the chair made a right corner with couch and bed combo. She patted the other couch with encouragement.

"Okay," Jonathan answered and walked over, for a moment thinking of sitting far away, but then went all the way to the corner where Lexa had patted, and sat down in it. He looked at her, in her smiling face, the deep brown eyes. It took some effort not to look down at the parts of Lexa's breasts peaking out over the towel.

"We're good right?" Lexa said to break the silence, still a little uncertain.

"Yeah, I mean, you're hot!" Jonathan answered, getting more enthusiastic.

"Thanks," Lexa replied.

"No, seriously, you're so hot!" Jonathan said again, letting his eyes pointedly glide from top to bottom and back up again, drinking in her form. "Look at you, who in is right mind can still care about the guy thing? If you were a guy just wearing girls' clothes, but you're a real girl."

"Why thank you," Lexa started with a slightly mocking tone, "it's so good to know that the guy I was born as means so much to you." If Lexa wasn't smirking at him, he'd be bashing his own head in at his stupidity. Then he looked away with a huge blush. "What?" Lexa asked him, her smirk going down.

"I uh . . ."

"Come on," she demanded.

Jonathan looked back at her, and managed to somehow force out, "Was I good?"

Lexa smirked again, thought about it a moment, and said, "Well, to be honest, I have nothing to remark on your foreplay, you should work a little on your stamina, and be a little more diverse in your thrusts, both form, and strength and speed . . ." Jonathan looked at her with a stony face. ". . . but yeah, you were good, good enough to get me off more than once. For it being your first time, I'd think that gets transferred up to phenomenal." She smiled at him, and his stony face broke in a big smile.

"Really?" he prompted, both relieved and hardly believed it.

Lexa nodded with a smile, which then faltered with some nervousness, "And me? How was I?"

"You need to ask?" he wondered stunned.

Lexa shrugged embarrassed, explaining, "I know what guys like, after all, and I think I succeeded, but still; knowing it, and doing it are different things, aren't they?" She suddenly looked concerned, and added, "I didn't nick you accidentally, did I? 'Cause . . ."

"You were great," he told her with a grin, and he was struck by the situation. Discussing this with a girl would be odd enough, discussing it with a girl that was a guy half the time, and he knew the guy too, was awkward.

"We've got some time still, till Faith returns, we can talk some. What's been going on in your life, besides me?" she asked, relaxing back into the couch.

"Uh, not much, really," Jonathan admitted, putting his hands down in front of him, his back arched with some anxiety.

"Really, I thought you'd gotten popular with the girls after I told everyone you're handsome?" Lexa asked him with a relaxed tone and pose.

Jonathan shook his head, and leaned back with a sigh, telling her, "Didn't last. Apparently I have too much deficiencies you couldn't notice with a single look to be overcome with being declared handsome." Lexa frowned, he doubted even the geek would say it like that. Some girl must have said those words to him. What those 'deficiencies' were Lexa could tell pretty easily. Big bad number 1: clothes. She didn't really care, especially not in choice for bed partners, but yeah, her critical eye could see that Jonathan's clothes weren't very flattering on him.

"Well, you could do with-"

"Lexa," Jonathan interrupted her, and frowned, "Xander, you know, talking like we're good male friends . . . kinda freaky when you're a girl."

"Oh, right," Lexa said, frowning. With a smile she got up and went to the kitchen. She got two empty bottles and filled one with warm water and the other with cold. After applying the warm water, and putting the towel downward again, Xander returned. "Better?"

"Yeah," Jonathan replied, nodding.

-----

After some knocks on the door, a familiar voice called out, "Hey, Lex! It's been an hour, can I come back in, yet?"

"An hour!" Jonathan blurted out at Lexa. They'd had a pleasant conversation, once in a while Xander changing into Lexa and back again, every time something came up that didn't sound right coming from whatever gender toward the guy who took the female side's virginity. "Oh, god! My parents are going to kill me! Bad enough I didn't come back home, now . . ." Jonathan was off to the bedroom, to put on his clothes.

"You can come in!" Lexa called out, and Faith walked inside. Not long after Faith stepped back into the apartment, Jonathan, reasonably dressed, raced out of it, giving Lexa a hasty goodbye. "So," Lexa said, looking Faith who stood waiting just in front of the door.

"Big talk?" Faith asked, and watched Lexa turn herself back into Xander with one of the bottles.

"Right after I get dressed," Xander said, looking at Faith who gulped. She'd never seen him look at her which such a serious gaze before, nor had he ever turned into Xander just to talk to her. That could only signify this wasn't going to be smooth and easy.

Faith waited nervously, sitting herself down on the couch. She knew what this was about, after all, if someone had run in on her having sex and pulled her partner out she'd be pissed too. She didn't even know why she did it in the first place.

Xander returned, wearing a loose shirt and jeans, and sat down opposite Faith on the other couch, Xander was now in Jonathan's spot, and Faith where he had been sitting when talking with Jonathan. "Faith," Xander said heavily, "what you did last night . . . Tossing your own guy out is bad enough, Faith, but walking into my room and attempting it with Jonathan is just . . . wrong. I don't know how to put it more gravely. What were you thinking?"

"I know, I know, it was wrong," Faith answered Xander's accusation, shifting nervously in the couch. "I will never do it again, and I don't know what I was thinking."

"I don't believe you," Xander said matter-of-factly, Faith looking up with a hurt expression. "I think you do know what you were thinking. I think you just don't _/want/_ to know what you were thinking. Try Faith, just think back, go over the events again, and remember."

Faith kept her eyes on him for a few moments, processing what Xander had said to her. She understood he wasn't saying she was lying. After a few more moments of doubt, she finally nodded, and said, "I'll try." She closed her eyes and thought back, putting herself back in that position. She had just fucked Scott, she'd heard Lexa's moans and cries of pleasure through the walls. And then . . . and then . . . Faith opened her eyes, and looked down at the floor.

"Well?" Xander prompted gently.

Faith looked up at him, and then said, "I felt . . . I felt like I needed to protect you."

"From what? Or who?" Xander asked her, both genuinely curious as well as already having a good idea and wanting Faith to spill it herself. "Jonathan can't even come close to hurting me. And you know it."

"Not physically," Faith countered, half embarrassed, half defiant.

"You really thought geeky Jonathan had it in him to somehow make me fall in love with him, and then use and degrade me, before tossing me out like a used rag, and leave me behind broken and weeping for the rest of my life?" Xander asked astonished. Faith just looked contrite at him. "Have you seen him? I don't think he has it in him to hurt a fly! Which could actually make me fall in love with him, but he wouldn't hurt me ever."

Faith remained silent, just thinking - trying to marry Jonathan Levinson with hurting Lexa in any shape or form. She couldn't, and yet inside of her something boiled that refused to acknowledge it, convinced he could hurt Lexa, Faith - any girl. Xander spoke again, "Is that the only reason?" Faith remained silent, not knowing what to say. Xander continued, "You know, you might wanna try something longer than just a quickie with guys, you know? Let them stay the night, perhaps. At least let them put on their clothes before they have to go."

Faith was silent for a moment, and then she looked up angrily, eyes filled with anguish. "I don't need your judgement, you're just the same like everyone else, man or woman, after all! I do what I like, and I don't need to justify myself! You either wanna fuck me, screw me over, or call me a slut!" Faith got up abruptly, and started to storm out of the apartment.

"Faith!" Xander called and got up. He reached Faith as she arrived at the exit, and managed to grab Faith's upper arm. He pulled her around and said, "Faith, I'm not judging you." Faith looked up, her head still in his unyielding, but gentle grip, a slight surprise at the speed with which Xander had caught up in her bloodshot eyes. The rest of them were filled with defiance, anger and pain. "You can do whatever you like, I'm not telling you what to do. One night stands are not wrong, I've had them myself, last night for example, as a girl with a guy, like you. I'm just offering some alternatives." Xander didn't mention out loud that one of the one-night-stands hadn't been intended to be one, because that wasn't important. "It's just that, if you meet every guy with that unchangeable attitude, you'll never get to enjoy companionship, comfort, love . . ."

"Doesn't exist; it's for the naive, a good screw is the best you can hope for in this shitty life," Faith said defiantly.

"Then what are you doing with us?" Xander asked pointedly. Faith's eyes widened, then yanked her arm free, and started marching back into apartment to pace broodingly. Xander kept up, and asked, "You know, whatever happened, not every guy is like that."

Faith's lips trembled, and looked around. The apartment felt like a prison all of a sudden. She wanted to get out, a small part of her even wanted to pack up and leave altogether. Faith paced and back and forth like a caged tiger.

After a few moments, with Xander waiting patiently, Faith stopped her pacing; looking down at her feet with sudden need, her hands balled into fists, and her arms tense. Xander simply waited, keeping Faith in his gaze. After another moment, though, he felt Faith needed more, and took a step forward, gently placed his hands on Faith's shoulders. "What happened," Xander asked, his voice just above a whisper.

Very softly, Faith managed to utter just one word. "Raped."

"Oh, god," Xander said weakly and took Faith into a crushing hug. The Potential Slayer just let herself be held at first, fighting back her emotions; feeling weak and foolish for having admitted it, even more that it was a male that was holding her, a guy, one of the evil ones, but eventually her emotions broke out. She wished she could be more like Lexa; cool and competent and powerful and skillful, she would never get in this position.

Xander gently maneuvered the crying Faith to a couch and sat down, pulling the girl tightly into his embrace. He simply kept holding the brunette. The girl had obviously been bottling up everything, and the whole emotional clash between him, her and the events of the night before had made it all come bubbling up, and she had no longer been able to keep it all contained. Making her jump from one tangent to the next until she finally released the cause of it. He gently stroked the hair of the sobbing girl, her torso shaking with the effort. For Faith it was both heaven and hell. She had promised herself she'd never have anything to do with a man like this ever again, and here she was. But at the same time, this was Lexa, her best female friend, and throughout the weeks of being here, she'd never once seen an inkling that she/he was bad. That this was the genuine article - a good person. It felt good to cry in his arms, and yet a voice kept telling her he was going to use her as all the others, regardless of his gender.

Faith had finally worked up enough courage to face her idol despite the embarrassment of breaking down in tears with her . . . him. She lifted her head, just her head, and looked up in his eyes. His kind eyes looked back into hers, giving her strength. "I was fourteen. It was the neighbor, he wasn't a stranger so I let him in the apartment. While my mom . . . was drunk . . . passed out in her room . . . he forced me in my own bed," Faith managed to hiccup, and felt Xander's embrace tighten around her, almost to the point of hurting, but it only made the hug feel better. Tears streaked down her cheeks, which were red and puffy, while he eyes were wide with pain. "Spent a year . . . looking over my shoulder . . . decided to trust a guy . . . like twenty-five or so. He always hung around school . . . always talked to me and some other girls . . . was always understanding and gave gifts. He-he was good in bed, really. Then he said that I needed to pay him back . . . for all the gifts, and I should get a job." She tightened her embrace of Xander and whimpered as she remember. "He had a job for me . . . if I didn't have one . . . have sex with other guys like him."

Faith remained quiet for a bit, and Xander asked gently, not a hint of judgement in his voice, "Did you?"

Faith shook her head and pressed it back down against his shoulder. "Got wise through the neighbor, just the same guy, just nastier and with sneakier methods, told him to fuck off . . . beat me up for it. My Watcher found me a little later."

"Faith, I promise you, not all guys are like that. Most aren't," Xander told the slowly sobbing Faith. "I'm not disappointed with you either, not for crying, not for falling for a sick bastard like that, not for getting raped. None of it is your fault. In fact, I admire you're strength, you never gave up, you fought demons and vampires, and survived to be here. You are strong, you hear me? Needing comfort from friends is not weak, everybody needs somebody. I think you're even strong enough to see that not all guys are like that. Scott isn't."

"I just fucked him," Faith murmured with a little annoyance.

"Then you wouldn't have been flirting with him when you got here, and remained interested enough to hijack him away from another girl," Xander told her gently, stroking her hair and back. "Nor would you have been so desperate of getting both of them out of our apartment before he was even finished dressing. You were afraid, weren't you? Afraid another evil guy could get to you?"

Faith steadfastly did not look up, confirming with her silence. "After last night, he'll hate me anyway," she told him with audible pout, the crying already dried up, the last hiccups going away as well.

"Of course not; you fucked his brains out," Xander said with a smile, a new hiccup coming from Faith, but this one obviously coming from humor, not sadness. "He might be pissed, you'll have to do some apologizing, maybe even a little groveling, but he doesn't hate you, nor will he reject you. Trust me, I've gone to school with him most of my teenage years - he's one of the good ones. You don't have to of course, nor do you have to do it right away, but just think about giving him a chance to surprise you."

Faith slowly sat up, her face still red and puffy, but she was obviously cried out, and almost ready to take on the world. "You think he won't hurt me?" Faith asked with a small voice, a little hope filtering through.

"He'll hurt you," Xander denied, making Faith look at him with wide eyes. "But he'll do it accidentally, he won't do it intentionally, and he'll wish he could somehow take the hurt back, go back in time and not do what he did to hurt you. He'll never be malicious like the two you told me about. You'll undoubtedly hurt him too, hell, you already did last night."

Faith let the words penetrate her brain, and finally said, "I'll think about it."

-----

**Later that Sunday**

Xander knocked on the hotel suite door. Unlike the cheap place that Faith had been in when she first arrived, Shaten had checked into a place with class. He was on the second floor - the hotel had three - room 214. Hotel Sunnydale Sunshine Inn, profiling itself as a place at the beach, the magnificent nature of the desert not far out to the east, and just north, practically in the town, the wilderness and forest of the mountains, as well as not that far from Los Angeles, and all its tourist attractions. Sunnydale did not have many hotels and motels, it had quite some student housing for the local college instead. Thus the Sunshine Inn, situated just off the beach, but in the more expensive part of town than Xander's apartment complex, did quite well. Xander didn't like to think about the student housing though. He still had nightmares from him and Buffy taking on that snake demon slash god that was giving a fraternity tickets to the big time . . . in exchange for a few tasty, female morsels - preferably virgins.

Shaten opened the door, and remained silent, a little shy. "Hi," she said, and Xander greeted back before entering. Red carpeting, a shower to the left, and the rather spacious room holding a queen-size bed around it. The part of the room that was right behind the door, and next to the bathroom almost being like a short hallway. Quite a large dresser with a TV on top of it finished the well-off hotel room.

"Shall we sit? To talk?" Xander said, gesturing to a few stairs next to the bed.

"Sure," Shaten said, nervous. Last night she had made a fool of herself, and it made her embarrassed.

Xander took the room in as he sat in one chair, Shaten gracefully taking the other. "I can't believe you trapped your hotel room," Xander said with a light smile, a mixture of humor and a little admiration in his voice.

"Ninja always prepared," Shaten answered coolly - her embarrassment paling against her ninja upbringing when talking ninja business.

Xander smiled lightly. The girl was in some casual clothes - more precisely the illusion of some casual clothes. He so needed to be able to do that. "Last night was productive - for me at least. Did you learn something at the minimum after we left?" Xander asked her.

Shaten looked at him for a moment. It was a good thing she wasn't going to marry him after all - she would, if it was necessary, but a husband that turned into a girl with a splash of water would be weird and inconvenient enough. A husband that had had sex with a guy in his girl shape was something she rather not ever have to have. It was just . . . too weird. "Hai. Seduction is performed with much touching. As well, talking, smiling, and kissing frequently is used," Shaten answered, struggling a little with English as she always did.

"Well, good," Xander said with a light smile. "Tomorrow we go and buy you some more clothes. Today I'll take you to the library, I've convinced everyone to help teach you how to dance. I was hoping that tomorrow you'd be willing to start teach us some of your techniques?"

"Techniques?" Shaten said a little taken aback. "Techniques from village. Belong to ninja."

"I know," Xander said gesturing soothingly with his hands. "I'm not asking for any super military secrets. Just some basic things. Like standing upside down on the underside of a tree branch. That clothes illusion technique, maybe a few tiny things more here and there. We are helping you get a husband, and I'm willing to teach you some stuff in return if you want, anything you might find useful."

Shaten looked puzzled, and asked him, "What for illusion?"

"Heh," Xander said, scratching the back of his head embarrassed, "Managed to avoid it, but there's been some times where I was almost a guy in skimpy girly clothes - distinctly not unisex. With the illusion I could quickly make it look like I'm wearing guy clothes."

After a moment of thought, Shaten answered him, with a quick bow, "Hai. I help. I help train. But only standard stuff, and you train me."

"Yep," Xander said and held out his hand. Shaten took it slowly, and shook Xander's hand in agreement.

-----

**Outside Sunnydale High**

Buffy, Lotion (with a glower), Willow, Amy, Oz, Cordelia, and Xander stood in the middle of the grassy field, in front of Shaten, who was near a tree. Giles, Jenny, Kendra, and Faith were behind them - neither the Slayer or Potential Slayer advanced enough to be able to learn, Shaten had determined. So, taking a break from their normal training routine, they opted to watch.

"All things have chi, is nature universe," Shaten explained sagely, "living things have more, genelate it, tied to it. Key to walking surfaces in its chi. Must find it, sense it, then hook own chi to surface chi, like magnet." Shaten gently put her foot against the tree and slowly walk up it, much again to her students astonishment. She turned to face them, bent at knees to be righted up. "Take tree," Shaten said, gesturing to the other trees around, "tree filst living surface, dead surface then, lifeless surface at end. Advice I give when fail."

"Fail? You mean when we fall on our asses!?" Cordelia exclaimed in disgust.

"Hai," Shaten said with a nod from her head, smiling, "Cannot learn walk without fall, cannot learn run without fall, cannot learn walk surface without fall."

"What's the matter cheerleader?" Lotion questioned Cordelia with a grin, "Afraid to get your clothes dirty, or afraid falling on your face will undo the nose job?"

"I have not had a nose job!" Cordelia protested angrily, "This is all natural, you Amazon hussy!"

"Here we go again," Willow muttered and then looked at Amy and shrugged at her. Ignoring the insulting match that Buffy might very well join, she and the other witch walked forward. With Jenny's training and their understanding of magic, both realized this might not be so hard, for them at least. Willow briefly watched Xander walk to his own tree, and looked at it thoughtfully. Probably trying to find its chi, Willow realized and looked back, realizing their and Xander's ignoring of the insult match had made the two insulting parties quit it rather quickly. Buffy and Oz shared a tree like she and Amy were doing, and Lotion and Cordelia did the same with another one. Shaten first went over to Xander, and Willow took a quick peek at the sexiness that was her girlfriend. The big bad Slayer could be so cute sometimes, like the mixture of a frown and a pout that was on her face now as she was on the opposite side of a tree from Oz.

She looked back to the tree, watching Amy set her first tentative step against the tree. Willow looked at her side of the tree, and easily found the tree's energy. Learning to be aware of all the flows of energy around her had been a steady diet of Jenny's training. Tie her own energy into it; that shouldn't be too hard either. Making a pen float was essentially tying the air's energy to the pen; now she just had to do it with her own. Amy indeed was already putting her second foot forward. Willow followed gently, ignoring the cries of frustration from the others as they either didn't even sense the tree's energy, or couldn't get their first foot to stick.

"This is easy," Amy announced with a grin, hands out, her torso bend forward, or rather upward a little so gravity didn't bend her body backward. "I have more trouble keeping my body straight than sticking to the tree."

Everybody turned to look at the witch, with Willow on the opposite side of the tree below her, steadily walking up as well. Multiple exclaims of annoyance and frustration came from the others, while Jenny gave a proud encouragement.

Shaten was surprised and impressed though. "Incredible," was Shaten's comment on the witches, "No fall. Walk surface without fall."

Amy made a throw away gesture, and said, "Not so impressive. Our magic training had a lot of similar things. We've kinda been training this surface walk thing for months now, right Willow?"

"Yeah," Willow said, smiling and walking up entirely straight, "and don't use your muscles to keep your body straight Amy, just the energy." Willow reached a branch, and hesitated for a moment.

"Of course," Amy said with a smile, and her back straightened out again, her torso moving downward to a naturally aligned position with her lower body. Willow then stepped on the branch and moved onto it, upside down, her hair hanging straight down. Amy reached her own first branch - a little higher than Willow's then, and did the same.

"Ow!" Lotion exclaimed as she slammed into the ground, and Shaten came over to help her up, then gave her advice.

"Oof! Ouch!" was Buffy's quite loud exclaim as she slammed face first in the ground. Everyone looked over, and she groaned lying spread-eagle on the ground. "Ugh, if my nose wasn't already knobby, it would be now."

"Always look on the bright side, right Buffy?" Cordelia asked with a mocking cheery tone, right before landing on her ass.

"That might improve your ass," Buffy returned equally cheerily, making Cordelia look over and glare at her. Buffy shrugged her elbows looking at the cheerleader captain, and added with a false nice smile, "Always look on the bright side." Then Buffy went to get up. Xander and Oz dropped down from the tree at the same time.

While Giles and Jenny just watched, Jenny confident she could walk on surfaces pretty easy herself. Kendra and Faith looked with some jealously at their friends learning how to walk on trees. "Dees not fair," Kendra protested under her breath.

Faith answered, "Yeah, come on, let's train so we can catch up." Kendra nodded and moved off to the side.

Oz was looking at the tree again, silently contemplating, and Shaten arrived to give him some pointers. He interrupted her before she could though, and said, "I do not see the purpose of this."

Shaten blinked a moment, and then she replied, "Is about control, Oz-san. Can do this, can contlol wolf, or at least, will be much closer."

"Right then," Oz said, and redoubled his efforts.

Willow was thinking about this, hanging upside down, maybe it was the blood running into her brain. She climbed on top of the branch and sat down on top of it. "You know, this should work with the air too," she announced, and gently moved her first foot down in mid air.

"Uh, Willow, maybe that's not such a good idea," Giles commented, as everyone else looked over.

"Oh, relax," Willow said with a grin, finding some resistance, pushing, and then standing up, readying to place her other foot. Suddenly the air gave away - as air is wont to do - and Willow cried out, on her way down to the floor. "OW! Ouch, ah," Willow cried out as she slammed into the ground, and rolled back and forth holding her aching body parts.

"Are you okay, Willow!?" multiple voices exclaimed and came rushing over, Xander and Giles reaching her first, Buffy and Shaten arriving not soon after.

"Yeah, just some pain," Willow muttered with a groan.

Laughter came from above, and everyone looked up at Amy sitting on her own branch. "We use brooms, remember Willow? Now you know why!" Amy laughed at her own joke.

"Still, shouldn't need one," Willow pouted to Amy's mounting laughter.

"Stupid girl," Shaten commented making Willow and her friends look up, "Own fault. Not run before crawl. Dead surfaces and lifeless surface before impossible." Willow grunted in defeated acceptance of that wisdom.

-----

**The next day, Monday**

**Morning**

**Sunnydale High**

While off to the side another drama unfolded that we'll see later, Cordelia and Oz, his arm around her waist walked onto the premises of the school. "My ass is still sore," she said gingerly, remembering how often she fell down from the tree yesterday, and she still hadn't mastered it. Also, for some reason, she just about always fell on her ass, and no place else.

"Same here," Oz returned - he too, after all the training, still had to master the surface walking technique that Shaten was teaching them.

"Hey, Cordelia, Oz, wait up," a familiar voice called out.

They turned and let Xander catch up to them, then they turned back to their original direction and walked onward. "What is it?" Cordelia asked, somehow unable to put the full venom she wanted to after humiliation of yesterday in her voice toward the big dork. For some reason that first real crush on any guy refused to go away, even after an afternoon of torture that he was at least partially responsible for.

"I wanted to ask you a favor?" Xander said, as they walked toward the school, a book under his left arm.

"Are you sore?" Cordelia asked him suspiciously, making Oz actually have to put up some effort to keep his face cool.

"What?" Xander prompted confused.

Cordelia sighed with a glare, "Simple question. You're way to chipper to be sore, and after yesterday, you have no right not to be sore."

"Uh . . . I'm sore, a little, I did sleep a night," Xander answered her still a little confused, "And?"

"Are you sure?" Cordelia asked suspiciously. Xander too, had not mastered the surface walking technique yet - in fact, just like them he didn't even manage to stay on a living surface - although he did manage to remain up a little longer than she and the others had before falling back down. That was, except for Lotion, apparently the girl's life long experience with her chi allowed her to remain standing on a living surface quite well. Dead surfaces though, still had her falling down, so she should be just as sore as the rest of them.

"Yes, why?" Xander asked, still confused.

Cordelia looked at him for a moment, pausing their walk, and she said dangerously, "Because I will not do you that favor if you're not sore."

"I'm sore, I'm sore!" Xander confirmed. Cordelia nodded and they resumed their walk. Around them, students gave each other frowning, wondering looks.

"So what's the favor, and know that I'll be collecting with interest, should I grant it," Cordelia said gruffly. She might have a soft spot for the part-time guy, but that didn't mean she had to be nice about it.

"Jonathan," Xander said with a smile, and Cordelia frowned at him as they reached an empty bench and a place without many students around. They stopped there for some relative privacy, and Xander explained, "Could you give him a make over, help him shop for a good wardrobe?"

"Why?" Cordelia asked him incredulously, and Oz too looked surprised and wondering.

"Well, because he needs one, apparently his recent surge in social level after Lexa's proclamation about him didn't last," Xander explained with forlorn smile.

"Well, duh. Why do _/you/_ want me to give him a make over? What's it to you?" Cordelia asked and sat down on the bench. The two boys remained standing.

"He did me a favor, I thought I'd pay him back," Xander answered with a light smile.

"What favor?" Cordelia asked him unbelieving. "What could the little nerd . . .?" Cordelia trailed off. She had heard the rumors of course, that Jonathan had indeed managed to get a girl out of the Bronze after a while, and then some had claimed this wasn't just walking home; there was even talk that it was Lexa. But she had dismissed it. Bisexual or no, part girl or no, not even Xander would be with a boy, let alone Jonathan like that. After all, Lexa had indeed checked out boys, as Willow and Buffy had first noticed, and even Xander himself did now and then, but he'd never shown a hint of actually pursuing it. Especially since he had several potential girlfriends, one sure fire one who considered herself his fiancee, and there was a far greater taboo of a guy on guy than girl on girl if there was even one left on the latter. But now. For a moment she refused to accept it, but then she said, "You were too chipper yesterday, you're still too chipper now, and you come ask me . . . You didn't! You did! You and him. Him and you. You as a girl, and he . . . he took your . . ." Cordelia gawked at him.

Xander just grinned and scratched the back of his head. Oz's eyes were actually a little wider than normal, and he said, "I'm not sure on the protocol, but is congratulations in order?"

"That's pregnancy," Cordelia dismissed. Xander looked at her. She sighed. "Oh, fine, I'll do your favor - I take it it was good." Xander's grin just widened. Cordelia sighed, "I still can't believe this. Especially the nerd being good." She however gave Xander a smile, and stood up, ready to leave.

"Oh, uh," Xander interrupted before she could get up from the bench, "could you make sure he's comfortable in the new clothes. Don't change his style? Not by miles at least?"

"Hell, no," Cordelia said resolutely, moving her hand from left to right at hip level - this far, and no further. "The whole point of a make over, is to actually make him over. Everything goes, especially if you want girls to notice him." Cordelia rushed past Xander, partially glad she didn't have to do it, half-dragging Oz along.

"So you can't do it," Xander said, smirking lightly.

Cordelia halted, and turned back around, "Of course I can do it. I just choose not to. I can do anything with fashion!"

Xander turned around, and gave her a convincing disbelieving look, "Apparently not."

"I know what you're doing, Harris, you're not baiting me that easily." Cordelia bit at him, and Xander looked both disappointed and a little surprised.

"Sorry, bro," Oz said calmly, "I've been teaching her to not let her emotions get the better of her so easily." Cordelia folded her arms across her chest in satisfaction, but a little annoyed that she indeed had needed help with that. "If I'd known this, I'd have waited with teaching her until after this noble request."

Xander's face grew even more disappointed and puppy-dog. Cordelia sighed - the two of them were ganging up on her, she knew when she was defeated. "Oh, fine! I'll do it anyway, but you owe me big, Harris," Cordelia warned him with a pointed finger.

Xander smiled, "Thanks, Cor."

-----

**A few minutes earlier**

**Back outside the school building**

While Xander went off after Cordelia and Oz, Faith veered off toward the hallway. Sunnydale had somewhat of an outside hallway - a pavement with a roof over it held by poles to shelter both from the California sun, and the occasional rain. She walked into it, waiting at a corner and looking past it. A few meters away, was Scott Hope slowly walking to whatever was his first class, probably meeting some people along the way. She took a deep sigh, bringing up her courage.

That was it - the reason. Courage. She'd promised Lexa to think about dating Scotty - as she'd start calling him in her head. 'S' just didn't sound right. Lexa wasn't even expecting her to make a decision right away, but Lexa was courageous. She faced danger and horror, and she was a part, and originally, boy, that had chosen to experience both a period, and letting Faith carol her into losing her virginity to a guy despite the whole gay taboo - even if strictly speaking it wasn't homosexual - as well as face monster after monster. And the rest of them were no less so; Cordelia bitch tamed a werewolf for heaven's sake! Which meant the moment Faith realized that it was more fear that kept her away from guys and Scott in particular, and not hate, she couldn't possibly not show Lexa and the others that she had courage to go face it. Not that the others knew, but still . . .

_-Here goes, Faith,-_ she told herself and walked, even ran a little after the guy. "Scott?" she called.

After a second shout Scott stopped and turned around, and Faith quickly caught up with. "Hey," she said, nervously, "hi."

Scott looked at her. She was wearing some jeans held up by a belt and a tight, red, long-sleeved shirt, her usual thick makeup on. She was looking hot even in these slightly too large jeans. He remembered the hot sex with her, her riding him to an explosive climax. He'd had sex before, truth be told, once, but it was nothing like what Faith could do. He also remembered she had tossed him out of the apartment right after before he was even finished dressing. "Come to toss me out of the school this time?" Scott asked, not bitter, but it hadn't exactly come out as lightly as he had intended.

Faith seemed to shrink in on herself, and it tugged at his traitorous heart. "Yeah, uh, no of course not, I came to apologize for that. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that. I should have let you get dressed at the very, very least. Uhm, can you forgive me?"

"You're forgiven," he said with a light smile, and started walking again.

"Uhm, I . . .uh . . ." Faith said, quickly walking after him, and walking next to him. "I was wondering if uh . . . you'd be willing to . . . uh, go out on a date with me." He paused walking again, looking at her in puzzlement. "You know, like a movie or bowling." She saw him looking, and she tentatively and awkwardly raised her right hand to shoulder height, and said, "I swear I won't ever throw you out again . . . unless you're being a real bastard of course." She cringed, hardly believing she'd added the last, and yet she had felt the need to add it, and even now was for a part glad she had.

Scott for his part, was still trying to figure this girl out. Finally he smirked lightly in amusement, putting his hands in the pockets of his pants and taking the leisure time to try to see in her mind. Faith got nervous under the scrutiny, and put her hand back down quickly. Kinda wanting to actually go on the date, now that she had forced herself to go through this embarrassment, she added, "It can be a double date. I can ask a friend . . . o-or yours, maybe a triple date with both." God, she sounded like a dumb little kid. Where was the cool man-eating version of her hiding? Of course, she wasn't exactly here to do any eating.

Scott gave a chuckle. This was surreal. How a girl could be this night and day was beyond him. On the dance floor two days ago, she'd been an uncorked bottle of pure sex, and that very sex afterward had been mind blowing. One of the ex-Cordettes - Harmony-ettes just didn't sound right - he'd been dancing with was one of the more date- and guy-savvy girls in the school, and this Faith had figuratively tossed her aside and wrapped him around her fingers like it hadn't meant anything. Now, that very same girl, stood here, nervously and ineptly asking him out like an eleven-year-old. And damn him, if it didn't intrigue him. "I don't suppose you could tell me why you just tossed me out, can you?"

Faith looked down, seeming small, even smaller than moments ago suddenly, and shook her head. "Not yet," she said, ready to turn away at this failure.

"Alright," Scott said, smoothly putting his arm underneath her backpack, around her middle, feeling protective, not to mention that she was amazing in bed. Faith looked surprised, arching her neck to her right, to see what his arm was doing, then feeling the hand lay on her waist on her left very gently. "You have a date, Faith, I want to find out more about you. You mind?"

"No, that's okay," she said and gave him a nervous smile.

Scott smiled disarmingly at her and said, "Hey, don't worry. Not going to bite - unless you like that sort of thing. Just want to introduce you to a couple of friends of mine."

"Okay," Faith said, a little amazed. She'd pulled it off, Lexa had been right. Now she hoped her idol was right about the rest as well.

-----

Scott gently led Faith up an incline around another corner, where he knew he'd soon meet two of his friends. "There they are," Scott said with a smile as he saw Debbie and Pete, his two friends slowly come toward them. Faith was suddenly nervous as all hell. It was like meeting the parents for a guy or something, or worse perhaps. She wondered if Scott would break up before they'd even get to go on their first date if his friends didn't like her. And she was certain they wouldn't like her.

"Hey, guys," Scott greeted and the boy and girl greeted back. "I'd like you to meet Faith, we're going out soon. We might be potential couple-material. Faith, this is Debbie and Pete, I've known them since middle school."

"Hi, I'm Faith," she managed, secretly impressed she hadn't managed to screw her own name or something, that's how nervous she was. A single mantra kept repeating in her head, _'Keep cool. Keep cool. Keep cool.'_

So busy was she with the mantra that she noticed a moment later that Debbie and Pete had spoken something without her hearing. Thankfully salvation arrived in the forms of Faith and Oz coming up a few stairs and walking past behind her. "Hey, Cordelia, Oz," she said, covering that she hadn't had anything in answer to whatever Debbie and Pete had said, or if it even required an answer. "Scott, Debbie, Pete, these are Cordelia and Oz. Friends of mine."

Oz halted the couple's movement and turned to Faith, her paramour and her friends, making Cordelia slightly miffed. "Hey, Faith. Guys."

"Hi," Cordelia said, for once being the one with the least to say. Scott and Pete looked a little surprised at the cheerleader captain, while Debbie just had bug eyes.

"Scott and I are . . ." Faith broke off, turning to look at Scott, and repeated his words with a self-conscious smile, ". . . potential couple material."

"D-do you know who that is?" Debbie asked of Faith shocked, looking at Cordelia with eyes still as big. Cordelia frowned, as Debbie answered her own question, "Th-th-that's Cordelia Chase."

_"/She,/"_ Cordelia corrected tightly. "I'm not a toaster, _/Debbie/_, I'm a person."

"Sorry," Debbie said with a light whimper, "But, friend, her. You're like this nasty b- . . ."

She was right, really. Of course that didn't stop Scott from looking a little shocked at Debbie, and Pete whip his head toward her a little angry. A new surprise came when Cordelia corrected, "Former." Oz shrugged, giving his girlfriend's waist a squeeze. Cordelia wasn't proud of some of the things she'd done, although Oz knew Cordelia still considered herself a bitch and proud of it, she also considered herself someone who would not be a bitch to good people anymore.

"She's the former queen of Sunnydale High," Debbie said, still elated to actually talk to the other girl, while not ripped apart verbally.

"Former?" Cordelia asked dangerously, her gaze boring into Debbie's.

"You're not?" Debbie asked both afraid and surprised.

"Who do you think is the queen now, then?" Cordelia asked her deceptively gentle.

Debbie looked nervous from Pete to Scott and Faith, and said, "Uhm . . . Harmony Kendall?"

"Really now, is that so?" Cordelia said coolly, and their corner for some reason felt chilly all of a sudden.

"Well, we've got to go, right Pete?" Debbie muttered. She was intimidated by the possibly not so former ice queen of their high school before, right now, she actually felt scared. "Got to study for Senior Bio, got a test and it's really a head breaker."

"Education is important," Pete confirmed with a smooth smile.

"Senior Bio?" Oz asked perking up, "I aced the final last year. I can get you my notes."

"Oh, uhm . . . that would help, thanks," Debbie said, with a little trepidation.

"Aced, huh?" Faith prompted lightly, being rather new to everyone.

Cordelia nodded, the ice having melted, and said, "That's Oz, if he bothers to show up, he aces it." Oz shrugged.

"Ah, man," Faith said, suddenly. "What time is it?"

Scott checked his watch and answered, "A little over nine, why?"

"I'm late," Faith said with a cringe, "I have an appointment with Platt at nine, the school shrink."

"You go to Platt?" Debbie asked surprised of the girl, still nervous. "I go too, he's a bit of a goof ball, but I kinda like him. In an entirely patient doctor sort of way, of course. Why do you go?"

"The social worker demanded it," Faith said with some annoyance, straightening up, preparing to go. "I'm 'emancipated' now, my mom is in Boston, if you can call it that. Anyway, they want me to 'deal' with the past so they're making me go to the shrink at the school here. It's annoying. See you later." Faith turned to Scott.

"Later," he greeted back.

"Yeah, we've got to get to class, goodbye," Cordelia said, and she and Oz left as well.

-----

"Ah, Faith Williams, nine o'clock, you're late."

Faith froze a little then finished closing the door and looked at the desk of the office. The chair turned and a black man with a beard looked at her with appraising eyes. "Sorry, slipped my mind, first time and all," Faith said as she stepped further inside.

"For what?" Platt asked her with a smile.

"Uh . . ." Faith said, a little confused at the question.

"For what did it slip your mind?" he clarified.

Faith looked around uncomfortably and then started walking forward nervously. "Boy," she offered.

"Ah, yes, not much better a thing you can let things slip for, huh?" he asked with a smile. He took a final drag from the cigarette that was by no means finished and put it out in the ash tray. Then he took a spray can and sprayed it around, a fresh smell assaulted Faith's nose.

"I guess," Faith answered him, and said, "I . . . uh . . . I was kinda hoping this could remain easy."

"That depends, how easy can you explain your life before Sunnydale with enough detail and how much does it still inform you now. Quite frankly, I think your past is actually less interesting than your present, after all, if you managed to let the past be the past and successfully handle the present the past won't help either of us much, will it?" he asked casually.

"I guess so," Faith said, taking another step forward.

"Of course, if the past _/is/_ still screwing with you now, you're extra royally screwed because we'll have to screw every loose screw of past and present in your head tight again," he said with a grin. Faith looked uncomfortable. "Don't worry I'll be gentle. Take a seat," Platt told her, and Faith complied.

-----

**Library**

**After school**

The extended Scoobies were training. Giles was keeping an eye on them, and in particular Xander, who was doing god knows what. "Xander, how did your first attempt at getting Shaten a . . . mate go?" Giles asked curiously, hoping the boy had luck. Of course, even if the boy had luck, that probably wouldn't help anything. The boy would require so much luck to pull this one off, the universe would probably spontaneously implode from the concentration of improbability. The thing was, that Giles hoped Xander succeeded. He didn't really like to see the boy leave, like any of his charges.

"Not so good, not so good, but we'll get there," Xander answered optimistically, but more about the hands he was moving from his chest out instead of Shaten's mate. "We'll go tonight, tomorrow, and every other day. I have the rest of the week all planned out. More Bronze tonight, tomorrow Sunnydale U campus bars, Saturday by day the campus itself, frat houses, and every other non-demon thing where there are men, guys, and boys I can find. Right, Shaten?"

"Hai," Shaten answered standing across from Cordelia, both sweating gently. Shaten sheathed her sword, while Cordelia kept holding her curved blades. "Form good, skill good, chi good. Can teach you techniques, I thought. First, show you old non-chi technique. This called Death in Scabbard."

A moment later, before Cordelia could even react, the ninja-sword was at her throat. "JESUS!" Cordelia screeched, "You could have killed me."

"Frat houses? University," Buffy asked skeptically, as she was in a joint meditation with Willow, peeking with one eye.

"Sure," Xander said, moving gently through a kata, once more ending with his hands moving outward from his chest. "Not every college guy is a demon-worshiper who kills girls to feed to wish-granting demon, you know?"

"Sure, but college guys on the Hellmouth?" Willow offered in Buffy's stead, who thanked her girlfriend with a nod.

"Eesn't dad a leettle cynical, even for de Hellmouth?" Kendra asked, who was being trained by Lotion along with Faith.

Shaten in the mean time continued her teaching of Cordelia; "Hai. No defense and big flaw. Once committed no back. Warriors using same, many died both. Until we say too wasteful, improve, and design counter. Charged weapon. Be chestnuts with weapon. Make shield."

Xander gently breathed in, and prepared the same movement, and then said, "Wolf's Protection!" Instantly a small ball of chi formed between his hands and was fired, straight at a book case on the second level.

Giles had barely enough time to yell out, "AAH!" The ball of chi slammed into the railing and exploded, taking a good chunk out it. Everyone looked at it with eyes.

"YES!" Xander hissed in triumph - finally he had done it, using the emotion that usually propelled him beyond his limits; to protect his friends and surrogate family.

"You did it!" Buffy exclaimed in surprise. After her own ball of energy had helped saved them against the ninja vampire, she hadn't managed to duplicate it once. Whenever she did it, it was more instinct than skill, maybe now that Xander had figured it out, she could soon do it too with some explanation from him.

"Xander! You almost destroyed the books!" Giles scolded the boy with annoyance.

"No worries, Giles. I aimed for the railing, and even if I'd missed, the case is filled only with the worthless books," Xander told him with a grin.

The glasses, as expected, came off immediately. Furiously cleaning the glasses, Giles said tersely, "There is no such thing as a worthless book."

"Xander-dono," Shaten said, and Xander looked over. She took a deep bow, and said, "Would have be honor to be wife."

Lotion made a light grunt at the ninja girl's profession, and knew she had to surpass it. She was pretty much going to do it anyway. "Future husband!" she exclaimed jumping through the air, and landing on his chest, her arms around his neck, her boobs pressing against him. "Greatest warrior that every lived, I shall be greatest wife and greatest female warrior that ever lived." She kissed the surprised and a little annoyed Xander hard and deep, before she whispered in his ear, "Also in bed."

He slowly let Lotion down, and said a little embarrassed, "Yes, well." Then he was mostly business, and said, "Still too limited a technique though. Too dependent on one's emotional state. There has to be a way to do it without the emotions, to simply draw out however much or little energy you need."

-----

Kendra walked into the library wide awake, carrying along some books in a book bag. In the cage in the library, werewolf Oz was grumbling not entirely content, but not exactly angry either.

Cordelia came over, her own book bag on her shoulder. "Thanks for doing this, Kendra. And I'm sorry this isn't in the comfortable garden house, but it's what I need quiet to study for the test tomorrow."

"No thanks necessaree, Cordelia. I'm the Slayer, it's me dutee," Kendra told the head cheerleader friendly. "I have me books, me drink, and me food, I shall be fine."

"Thanks anyway. There's a piece of meat for him in the refrigerator. Give it to him around 2 or so. See you tomorrow, Kendra," Cordelia said. She turned to her werewolf boyfriend, and told him sternly, "Be a good doggy, Oz, if I hear bad things from Kendra, no doggy treats tomorrow night." Oz laid down gently, and Cordelia nodded. She walked out the library, and secretly marveled at herself. It wasn't that she didn't study a year ago; she always did study and kept her real grades a secret to keep up her image, but spending this much effort on it to get the best grade possible had never been something she did. But Oz was so damn smart, and so easily reached such high grades, and Cordelia was nothing if not competitive.

Kendra shook her head and looked at the werewolf. The wolf gently looked up at her, before trying to find a more comfortable position in his crumpled up blanket. A tamed werewolf, it still boggled her mind. She nodded and sat down, putting her bag on the table and taking out a book. She opened it where the reminder lay, and started reading there.

-----

The teen male ran afraid through the wooded area, looking over his shoulder to see if he had lost what was hunting him. No, the monster in fact was just about on him. Actually . . . "No-no! Please! AAH!!"

-----

"This is not good, this is not good," Giles mumbled walking hastily out of his office.

"Eet was not Oz, Giles," Kendra said coming out after him. The watcher walked over to the cage. He hadn't been sure the weapons cage could hold a werewolf, even though Cordelia - who had more experience with Oz - said that it could. He went to inspect it to see if he could see any claw marks or any other kind of forced exit or just about any exit. "Eet was not Oz. I was heere all night, awake. I am Slayer, Giles, we can go nights without sleep. I read my book, Oz deed not leave de cage."

"Are you absolutely sure?" Giles asked the dark-skinned Slayer. She rolled her eyes. She had rolled her eyes at him. Buffy and the others were an influence on her, although he was not sure whether it was good or bad.

"Of course," she said, and Giles went deeper into the cage. The library doors opened and admitted Cordelia and Oz.

"Thanks again, Kendra, I think I aced the test," Cordelia said with a smile. "So, why did the stuffy Brit want us here?"

Giles came rushing out, pointing inside and said half angry, half horrified, "The window's open!"

"Eet does not matter. I was heere all night, so was dee wolf," Kendra said, her exasperation mounting.

"What's going on?" Cordelia demanded now.

Giles went over to the counter, picked up the news paper and held it out to Cordelia. She took the paper and read the article about a boy being mauled. "And you think this was, Oz?" Cordelia asked incredulously and Oz took the paper from her.

"Jeff Walken. I knew him," Oz said with some shock.

"Eet was not eem!" Kendra protested again.

"Are you absolutely sure, Kendra?" Giles asked.

Kendra sighed, and asked Oz and Cordelia, "Why does ee not trust mee?"

"He trusts you," Oz answered solemnly, "he just doesn't trust me."

"I trust you Oz, I do not trust the wolf," Giles said, and then shook his head, took off his glasses and looked intensely into Kendra's eyes, and asked again, "Are you absolutely certain?"

"Eeven eef ee got out, it wouldn't matter. Oz-wolf wouldn't eat anyone, ee would not want to reesk meessing de doggy treats," Kendra said exasperated.

"Doggy treats!?" two male voices said in shock, and indeed Oz's face actually showed the shock. He looked at Cordelia.

The cheerleader shrugged, and said, "You like them." Oz groaned.

"This is no time for jokes, Kendra. Are you absolutely certain the wolf did not leave the cage?" Giles asked once again.

Kendra folded her arms across her chest in disgust, and said, "Whad do you teenk? Dat I fell asleep, and dreamed beieng awake and readeeng de book, exactlee as eet was wreetten, and deed not notice waking up, not eeven when de book was not read?"

"Yes, well . . ." Giles said, deflating into some relief.

Still disgusted, Kendra pulled out the book from her back and checked the reminder sticking out. Her eyes widened, "Oh, my god!" The other three occupants looked at her with surprise. "Look! Eets exactly where I put eet, **-thees morning when Cordelia returned and Oz shortlee after turned back!-"** Then she angrily slammed the book onto the table, and folded her arms back across her chest, fuming with disgust.

"Well, then we have good news and bad news, the good news is that Oz didn't do it-" Giles said, having Kendra interrupt him with a disgusted chortle, "-the bad news is that we don't know who or what did."

"What's up?" Faith asked coming into the library, seeing the small congregation. Dressed in her leather pants and a shirt she looked every bit the tough girl, if she didn't have a cute Supergirl backpack slung over her left shoulder.

Oz handed over the paper. Reading it through quickly she looked up, and asked earnestly, "You?"

"NO!" Kendra yelled, accompanied by a crash. They looked over at the Slayer who had made the outburst, and saw the table being broken in two larger, and several smaller piece, a fist-shaped hole in one of the two larger pieces. She looked perturbed, and then turned back, "Sorree."

-----

**Lunchtime**

The Sunnydale High mess hall was as usually a full but mostly orderly affair. Faith held her tray, holding her lunch. Some mashed potatoes - or at least that was what the sign said, a little lettuce, a chunk of . . . some type of meat, and milk - which was the only thing that Faith reasonably recognized. She looked at the table in front of her. It held Pete, Debbie, and Scott. She wasn't sure. On the other side sat Kendra, Cordelia, Lexa, and the rest of her gang. Tough choice. Was it time to share lunch with the potential couple material? Of course, even if he was actual couple material, she didn't always want to spend lunch with him - not even if he came over to her friends. No, she figured that once in a while for variety she just wanted to share lunch with some of her friends alone. And if anyone had told her she'd had friends, let alone potential couple material a year ago, she'd have laughed him in the face. Somehow she knew if anyone had suggested something like this to her, it was a 'he', not a 'she'. She didn't know how or why, she just did.

Finally Pete nodding to her, and Scott turning around gesturing to the free chair saying, "Come on, sit, Faith," took the decision away. She smiled and sat down, putting the tray on the table.

"Hi, Faith," Debbie greeted, Pete just nodded.

"How's my potential couple material this afternoon?" Scott asked with a smile.

"Hungry, but otherwise okay," Faith said, and put some of the mashed potatoes on a fork. Scott grinned, this girl was definitely being upgraded to probable couple material.

"So how was bowling?" Debbie asked interested.

"Surprisingly good for a first date - there isn't much else to do on a Monday night," Scott answered with a grin and saw Faith still chewing food. "And I found girls can look damn good bowling."

Faith swallowed. "Tight pants and bending over to throw the ball that does it," she explained with a grin.

"I remember my first time bowling with Pete. I was so bad at it, Pete had to teach me how to throw the ball moving me through the motions. It was nice," Debbie said and looked over at Pete.

"Ah, yes, bowling," Pete agreed with a few blinks of the eyes. "Debbie's still not good at it. Can't fathom why she likes it anyway."

Faith finished swallowing another bite, and said with a grin, giving Debbie an agreeing point, "Played that card too. Of course, after Scotty finished showing me how to throw, I threw a strike, but . . ."

"Ah, yes, I remember it well. I didn't know whether to be proud, amazed, feel like a fool, embarrassed at my behavior showing her how to throw, try to hide my hard on from teaching her, or casually show it off and get embarrassed over that," Scott said with a casual nod and attempts at keeping a straight face, but a smirk managing to squeeze through. Debbie chuckled softly.

"You know, that's why you're so attractive to me," Faith told Scott, and he looked at her with a questioning look. "Secure enough about yourself you can joke about your inadequacies."

Debbie burst out in laughter, which grew a little louder at Scott's put upon face. Faith herself giggled lightly, trying to keep from laughing out loud. Pete glared unnoticed by Faith and Scott at Debbie. "I'm sorry," Faith hiccupped, forcing her laughter under control. Still smiling, she said, "I'm joking, you have no inadequacies. Sorry." Scott shook his head, and grinned at her. Damn it, if probable wasn't going to highly probable. Faith was what he liked in girls, spunk, full of life, a sense of humor, and not afraid of anything. There was another girl like that here in school, a girl he'd been interested in, but he'd made his move too late - the girl had been hijacked away, by another girl.

"Women," Scott said with a grin at Pete.

"I hear ya," Pete said, with a smile.

Debbie had forced herself to stop laughing after Pete's glare, and decided to change the subject. "So what did you think of Platt? Isn't he a quack?" she asked Faith.

Faith thought about it a moment, and then said, "Well, quack is a strong word. He's definitely got his own way of doing things. I kind of like him."

"You do?" Debbie asked a little surprised, "Yeah, he can make some jokes, but still."

"He's a goof ball," Faith said with a grin. She looked over to Lexa for a moment a ways off, then turned back, and said, "I like goof balls. Besides, he's cute for a guy with a beard."

"Mental note, do not grow beard," Scott said softly, and Faith looked over at him.

"But the whole thing's a sham, isn't it?" Pete said, a hint of gruffness in his voice, disguised by a tone of wanting to make conversation. "The whole thing is just talk, talk, talk. You got problems, you deal with them, you don't lie down and talk."

Faith shrugged, looking at her half-eaten lunch. "It doesn't do anything for me, that's for sure. It's annoying," Debbie agreed.

"My mom says therapy can be helpful," Scott said, helping Faith a bit.

"It's nothing but some psycho babble about making people feel good about themselves when they should be getting up and do, work, deal, whatever, but do," Pete said a little pissed.

Faith shrugged, and said, "I don't really care. The social worker tells me to go to therapy or else I'm put in a foster home or some shit like that, I go."

"Faith, I want you to know, that before yesterday I've never met these people. I just paid them to make me look better to you," Scott said to Faith, working to catch the girl's eyes.

He succeeded, and with a small grin Faith said, "You should get a refund." He smiled back.

-----

At the popular table, Harmony laughed and smiled. Looking around the girls and guys she had eating out of her hand. It was good to be queen. Then a chill ran down her spine, after which she saw the jocks and the cheerleaders, including her little troop of followers blanch. Then an ominous shadow fell over her.

"Well, hello, Harmony. How's it going?" the pleasant voice of Cordelia Chase all but singsonged. The chill returned - that voice sounded perfectly sweet, but somehow she felt like an axe was about to cut off her head. She swallowed and quickly turned around bending backward across the table, looking up at the looming, bending down close Cordelia. At least it felt like that to Harmony, for Cordelia was simply standing straight - imperiously straight, but straight still. "I heard an interesting story. Someone had this mistaken idea, that you are queen of this school," Cordelia said with a sweet smile, but cold eyes boring into her soul as if ready to rip her to pieces. "I hope you don't believe it yourself, because I will guarantee you this. Just because I don't hang around my sheep anymore, and don't bother with these sweaty Neanderthals, doesn't mean I don't still reign supreme."

The frightened wide-eyes of Harmony suddenly solidified. That word again, that word, that word Cordelia had called her last year. 'Sheep.' She'd hated being called that, hated it with a fiery passion. She wasn't a sheep. It was the reason she'd dethroned Cordelia Chase, and she wasn't going back to being in her shadow. "You know what? You don't," Harmony said, and forced herself to stand, folding her arms across her ample chest. "I am queen. You're a dork lover - a has-been dork lover. Face it, Cordelia,_/I/_ am queen, not you, not anymore. And that means I'm not a sheep either, a queen can't be a sheep. From now on, you're the sheep. I'll be counting little Cordelias jumping over the hedge before I go to sleep."

Cordelia's cold smile hadn't faltered in a bit, "You would think that, wouldn't you?" She looked passed her at the former Cordettes and the jocks. But Harmony turned around as well, and glared at them as well.

"Ah, Cordelia," a football player said, "I'm sorry but . . . despite the rebound guitarist, which is admittedly not bad, you're still Xander Harris's reject." There was a chorus of agreements.

"Hell," another jock added, "you weren't even dumped, he didn't even choose you to begin with."

"Yeah, and we don't like being called sheep. You were nasty," one of the former Cordettes said with a pout. Harmony smiled smugly, nodding. A chorus of 'yeah' joined the girl.

Cordelia still smiled, her left corner slowly moving up in a smirk.

Harmony saw it as a bear-defeat-with-a-grin grin. She couldn't be more wrong, but that didn't stop the blonde from saying, "Accept it, Cor. You're over. You're now in the loser corner of this high school. _ /I_/ am queen, and you're a rabbit I walk all over."

Cordelia chuckled, that damn chill returning to Harmony's and the others spines. Cordelia shook her head and looked around the little gathering. "You're pathetic. All of you, idiots. I always knew that, but I never realized just how big. If the entire football team, and swim team joined together to fight Xander Harris, he'd wipe the floor with all of you even if had both hands tied behind his back. He's faster, stronger, and more man and more popular than all of you. You're just too stupid to see it. Just because he doesn't want to bother with you idiots, sit at this table, and wear a sports team high school memorabilia of future McDonald's employees, you refuse to acknowledge him. Hell, send your incompetent sports teams after _/me/_ and _/I/_ will beat you with my hands tied behind my back."

"Ooh, hoo, big talk from a girl who likes to play with swords," Harmony said with an evil grin. "Think we didn't know? Those clangs aren't exactly silent, Cor'. Who is the idiot now, huh? Or are you going to skewer us with them, hmm? I think the police aren't going to like that. Let's see, am I scared? . . . I think I'm going to have to demand a vote next cheerleading practice to see if you're still fit to be captain. In fact, maybe I should have you tossed off the team altogether."

Cordelia let her eyes roam the table, and then she deepened her smile. "You're all going to rue the day you crossed me. That means regret by the way. In fact, I think some of you will wish you were never born. Because, Harm, by the time I'm done, you will all know, that I am, was, and ever will be, Queen of Sunnydale High. And you wish I considered you good enough to lick my heels clean." Cordelia turned around, and walked off, imperiously, as the plan unfolded in her head. Oh, yes, her instincts were sharper than ever. Accepting to give Jonathan a make-over was perfect timing. Things were going to change around here. She did blame herself for one thing though - she should have kept a tighter reign on her school, to let Harmony think she was the queen. The blonde couldn't be more wrong.

The lunchroom was silent. It had been pretty much silent for the entire exchange. But now, it was deathly silent. The school had watched a direct confrontation between the two most popular girls in school, not counting Lexa Horne, and the first round seemed to have gone - well, nobody really knew. The not popular kids all loved how Cordelia Chase had told to the jocks' and cheerleaders' faces what they had all wanted to say a long time ago - yet were still trying to be liked by those very same people they hated. On the other hand, she had been one of them, and what she had promised seemed like a declaration of war. And who wanted to know the damage would be coming from the head on collision of the popular crowd on the warpath?

-----

**Later**

Debbie and Pete were kidding around a bit and kissing, walking through the halls of Sunnydale High. They reached a slightly different color section of a wall, and after checking for a moment nobody was there, they slid it aside and entered a secret room. Debbie giggled gently kissing Pete happily. Then Pete suddenly stopped, noticing something. The place was some type of old storage compartment, now converted to a makeshift laboratory. A microscope stood on a table, and old wooden cases contained all manner of pots and containers, most of them glass.

"What's this?" he asked, walking over to a case.

"What's what?" Debbie asked nervously.

Pete took the large glass pot out, still holding a little glowing green residue. "Debbie, it's gone," he said, turning around to face her. "Nobody else knows about this place, Debbie."

"I-I dropped it," she said scared, backing up.

Pete slowly advanced on her, and said, "You dropped it?"

"In the sink," she said finding courage some place she hadn't known existed, seeing the flicker of anger in his eyes grow. "I wanted to help you. You know how you get."

"How I get?" Pete said with a growl, "Do you think this makes me 'how I get', Debbie? I don't need it anymore, Debbie. You don't like how I get? I made this to become the man you wanted to me, Debbie. You made me. And the thing is, Debbie, now all I need is your incessant whining to get 'how I get'. Your talk, talk, talk, it pounds in my head, and . . . raagh!" Pete's neck and muscles tightened up, he shook his head with the sudden effort, and then his skin became red and leathery, tougher, his face gained several bone crests to take damage easier, and his eyes blazed with unbridled rage, his teeth bared. "I can't stand your constant whining, and that idiotic laughter of yours! I guess I finally know why you like bowling, huh? Bend over in tight pants and have every guy there look at you, you slut!" he snarled.

"No, no, that's not true, Pete," Debbie said, tears forming in her eyes and staring down.

"Well, Jeffy won't ever be looking at it again," Pete snarled, making Debbie widen his eyes. "Oh, think I didn't know? And that shrink! Platt this, Platt that! Does he like tight pants? Maybe I did him a favor, after all, he'll never have to hear you whine ever again, you WHORE!" A rapid right back hand connected and sent Debbie sprawling to the floor, crying.

A moment later Pete suddenly seemed shocked, and his transformation disappeared. "Oh, god, Debbie," he said pained, crying himself and rushed over. He grabbed her and held her gently, rocking her and saying, "I'm so sorry, Debbie. I love you so much. I can't control myself when I get like that. I'm so sorry. So sorry."

-----

"Yes, thank you," Giles said into the phone and hung up. He turned around and looked at the table. They had managed to somewhat put it back together with some tape - a new table would be ordered soon. At it sat Cordelia, Kendra, and Faith, researching. "That was Snyder," Giles announced, and the girls looked up, "a student found Platt in his office - dead. Killed the same way as Jeff."

"Platt?" Faith looked somewhat stricken. "Ah, fuck. I kinda liked him," she said, feeling somewhat hollow inside.

"Willow and Jenny and Lexa investigated the first victim's body," Giles continued, not naming the student, "Jenny said it was inconclusive. They couldn't find anything that fitted one type of demon or known monster. They took Willow to get some rest, it was a little harrowing."

"At least we can eliminate anything that only hunts at night," Cordelia said annoyed. They had been at this just about all day, and couldn't really find any real clue.

"Eesn't Oz supposed to be ere by now?" Kendra asked, looking concerned at the clock.

Cordelia looked up at the clock as well, and let it register. It was almost sunset. "He'll be here," she said resolutely.

-----

Oz restlessly waited in the Sunnydale High's courtyard, holding a notebook of schoolwork. He looked up at the sky a moment, and checked his watch. He could actually feel it approaching: sunset, or rather the full moon rising. If Debbie didn't arrive soon, he'd have to go and she wouldn't have his Senior Bio notes.

He looked around to see if he'd missed anything. Facing all the way back around, Debbie arrived fiddling with her bag. "Debbie," he greeted.

"Oh, hey Oz," she said with a shaky voice, keeping a mane of hair in front of one eye.

"You're a little late," he said holding out his notes, and frowned. He reached over with his left, free hand and brushed the hair out of the way. "Nice shiner you got there."

"Hmm?" she asked, as she took his notes and shakily put them in her bag. "Oh-oh, yeah, clumsy me. I tripped. Doorknob."

"Yeah," Oz said concerned, not buying it for a moment. "Next time the doorknob rushes at you, try to duck. Those doorknobs are dangerous like that."

"Uh, oh, no, this is not . . . I-I gotta go," Debbie said and quickly left.

Oz did the same, he had to go as well.

-----

"Cutting it close, huh?" Faith asked as Oz returned from his errand.

Oz looked at the gathered group, and replied, "Still got some time. No luck?"

"No, and there is another victim. Platt," Giles said, taking off his glasses in frustration. Oz frowned. "We can't identify any specific species, so we're attempting to find a common connection."

"Debbie," Oz said reaching the table. "She knew Jeff, and I just saw her with a fresh shiner."

"And she knew Platt, she raised a whole stink about not liking him at lunch today," Faith said in confirmation.

"It's the girl?" Cordelia asked confused.

"Not unless she's demon in disguise," Giles offered, leaning with one hand on the table.

"No," Faith interjected as she recalled, "when I said I kinda liked him, she was all surprised and half agreeing he could be funny. Just didn't like his profession."

"So eet's de boyfriend," Kendra concluded grimly, "eet's always de boyfriend, eesn't it? Maybe Mr. Zabuto was right, and I should keep boys away from me."

"Let's not get radical, here, Kendra," Giles said gently, "I say you and me try to find - Pete, was it? - directly, and Cordelia and Faith see if they can get Debbie to talk."

"Okay with me," Cordelia said and rose.

"And I'll . . ." Oz said and they all looked at him. He nodded and finished, "I'll be in the cage. You go."

"Let's be off then," Giles said, and everyone went.

-----

It didn't take long for Cordelia and Faith to find Debbie. After all, if you had a shiner, you went to cover up. Cordelia had simply entered one bathroom after another and soon found Debbie in front of a mirror.

"Covering up a shiner, huh? It's tough," Cordelia commented as she and Faith walked into the bathroom, making Debbie look up and turn around. "You know what helps? Ducking. It's an ancient and tried method."

"Go away," Debbie said softly.

"I can't believe this," Faith said, shaking her head. She'd been treated like that once - the guy never saw her again. "You're actually going to let him treat you like this?"

"Pete loves me. He can't help himself, he changes," Debbie mumbled and turned around to continue applying the make up.

"Changes," Faith said, grunting, "Yeah, I've seen a guy 'change' once. Real scary too. You know what I call the change? Being a sick bastard."

"You don't understand . . . you can't," Debbie whimpered.

"We understand . . ." Cordelia said, reaching the girl on the right side and pulling her to face her. "Pete isn't exactly human, is he?"

"H-he is!" Debbie protested with wide teary eyes. "I-it's the drug, you see? A-at first when he takes it, but he doesn't need it anymore. It's me, it's my fault. He did it for me, you see? He loves me that much."

Faith yanked her around to face her this time, and said sharply, "He doesn't love you. Look in the mirror." Faith turned the girls head to face the mirror, "Does that look like something that someone who loves you does to you? That's not love, Debbie. That's psycho. Where is he? We'll stop him, and he never gets to hurt you or anyone else again."

Debbie moved her head back to Faith. "H-he does love me. He does love me."

-----

Oz was in his cage. It was coming, he knew it. Unfortunately for him, someone was coming as well. "Well, hello there, Oz," Pete said as he walked into the library as if he owned the place. "Do you like Debbie?" Oz frowned as he watched Pete steadily come closer with an almost maniacal grin. "Well, do you?"

"As a fellow student," Oz said frowning. He understood perfectly what Pete was coming to do. The problem was, he was in a cage, and time was running out.

"Of course you do. Who doesn't like the whore!" Pete snarled out, reaching the cage door.

"It wasn't like that man. Listen, Pete," Oz said, the guy might be a murderer, but that didn't mean he deserved to die. "You might wanna step away from the door man."

"No," Pete said seemingly calm for a moment. "She's a whore, you touched her didn't you? Did she give it to you good?"

"Pete, you wanna step away from the cage, in a few moments something's going to happen you're probably not going to believe . . ." Oz trailed of as Pete roared in anger and transformed. ". . . or you might."

With a raging scream, Pete grabbed the door of the cage, and tore it out. Then grabbed Oz, and tossed him to the other side of the library.

-----

"He does love me, he does love me," Debbie repeated, rocking back and forth on a bench.

"I think we actually broke her," Faith said, squatting down for a moment, to try and get Debbie's attention, but it didn't work.

As Faith rose again, Cordelia sighed, and said, "In order to break something, Faith, it needs to be whole first." She turned to leave, saying, "Come on, she's useless." Faith nodded and followed her out.

-----

Pete's fist slammed into Oz's cheek, and the werewolf felt it bruise as he slammed onto the stairs leading to the second level. With a snarl Pete slammed both his fists into Oz and then grabbed him viciously and tossed him away. Growling he went after Oz, who groaned in pain, attempting to get up. He supposed he was lucky he was a werewolf, and the training with his girlfriend and her friends helped too. A werewolf, even not wolfed out and during day, was somewhat tougher than an ordinary human, who would probably have been dead by now. For one thing, he healed up, only a silver bullet through the heart and something as extensive as decapitation could kill him really - of course Pete was undoubtedly capable of that. An ordinary human would have been dead by now, it was odd that Pete hadn't picked up on that.

"That filthy whore!" Pete raged kicking out and catching Oz in the chest, sending him flying away. Or maybe it wasn't so odd after all. The guy didn't seem to be flying on all thrusters.

Grunting Oz got up, and watched Pete advance, and then he felt it. That creepy crawly feeling of something deeply buried inside him starting to tear itself to the surface, and then beyond. In reflex he looked up through a window, and saw the light of the full moon falling through the window, the evening sky darkening quickly. "Time's up, Pete," Oz said with a cool tone, for once welcoming the change. Someone talking back during this, brought Pete up short though, and he halted his advance in puzzlement. "Rule's change, my turn."

A moment later an inhuman growl came from Oz's throat, and first the skin on his hands, and then his clothes ripped open, dark grey wolf hair growing out everywhere. He grew a foot taller, and the face formed into a short snout. "What the . . .?" Pete said in shock.

The wolf howled out happily - it hadn't had a hunt in ages. It didn't understand why the mistress didn't allow it, even if it was always treated kindly and with love, and had enough to eat. Sometimes it resented not being able to hunt, sometimes it thought it was its fault, but now it could hunt, and it was damn sure the mistress would approve this time. It just hoped the stupid red version of the prey tasted as good as the pink ones. It pounced with a growl, jaws wide to bite at Pete's shoulder. Pete turned his shoulder in reflex, a moment in fright, than his anger returned and with his right shoulder just out of the beast's maw's reach, grabbed its throat with his left, both beasts soaring through the air from the momentum.

Tearing out the furred creature's throat proved to be if not impossible, at least difficult enough one hand wouldn't do. The attempted strangle instead, didn't get very far as Oz-wolf slammed the hand away with a growl and slashed at the red prey's torso with its claws. The annoying fur they were always covered in ripped, and slash marks formed on his chest, although not very deep and very little blood welled up. This prey was resilient - good, then it might be more like an actual hunt instead of just a quick kill. Still, Oz-wolf would be disappointed if the red prey really turned out not to taste well.

The two beasts slammed onto the stone steps, Pete first, roaring with the steps edges slamming into his back. The growling wolf slammed its fists down, but before it could bite, Pete grabbed fur and twisted, turning both of them around. Oz-wolf grunted and snapped forward, this time managing to catch the shoulder and biting down hard - he tasted good after all!

"Aargh!" Pete yelled at the pain of the furball's teeth sinking into his flesh. It grabbed at the snout and yanked it free, taking some chunks of his flesh with him. He kept holding on to the maw, and grabbed a hold of the other side with his other hand, and started to pull.

Oz-wolf shook its head as it felt pain on its jaws stretching beyond what they were designed for. Fed up, its feet kicked out and sent the red, resilient prey flying away, roaring in pain. Oz-wolf waited not a second, and jumped after him; it was time for breakfast.

-----

Faith and Cordelia had almost reached the library again when they saw Giles and Kendra return from the other side as well. "Found anything?" Cordelia asked the other two. They were about to answer, when a crash from the library startled them. The four of them frowned at each other for a moment, and then ran into the library, watching Oz land on top of a red-skinned humanoid, and started tearing at its arm with his teeth.

"Oz!" Cordelia exclaimed in concern, familiar enough with the werewolf form of her boyfriend she noticed several wounds on him.

Oz-wolf paused for just a moment. Mistress! He heard only concern in her voice, not reprimand at all. He was right! It was time to eat! And he continued.

The brief pause was exactly what Pete needed to regroup though, and he started to ram his free hand into the wolf's side. "Get! Off! Beast!" he snarled, punctuating each word with a punch. The wolf whimpered even as it attempted to bite down harder. With another snarl Pete turned the two over and slammed his head down between the wolf's eyes, dazing it. He managed to yank his arm free and raised both of them into fists to bring them down hard.

"Pete! Look out!" Debbie's voice sounded and he instantly turned around.

Kendra, a new, dark-skinned girl only recently attending Sunnydale High, was bent off to the left, holding some type of rifle. Next to her was Debbie, having pushed her. Just before Kendra was the librarian, who jerked, looked back while staggering forward, saying, "Oh, bloody brilliant." Then he crashed unconscious against a filing cabinet, bringing it down with him.

"I'm sorree!" Kendra exclaimed. Cordelia Chase, the cheerleader captain, and Scott's new girlfriend Faith were just behind the two. And they were obviously pissed. The furball below him growled, the daze obviously wearing off as it struggled and its claws already grasping at him. He couldn't take them all on at the same time, especially if they had a tranquilizer gun. He snarled, got up, and jumped up to the second level, then crashed through a window.

Oz-wolf got up, and howled. The stupid red prey had gotten away and he looked for a moment at his mistress. Go after the prey, or play with mistress. One of mistress friends cocking that stupid rifle made up his mind for him, and he charged up the stairs to the second level, and disappeared through a different open window, ignoring his mistress's calling.

"Damn, mutt," Cordelia said, and then turned to the sight at hand, Debbie already having fled out the library through the standard exit. She looked at Giles for a moment, and then said, "You two get Pete, I'll get Oz." Then she ran up the stairs.

"You don't want the . . ." Faith called after her.

Cordelia looked back and noticed Faith gesturing at the rifle still in Kendra's hands. "Of course not," Cordelia said, half-confused, and disappeared out the window.

Kendra looked at Faith and said, "I teenk Mister Giles would say, 'Bloody hell.'" Faith nodded, stunned at Cordelia really going after Oz without any weapon, not even her swords. Kendra looked at the rifle for a moment, and then tossed it on the library counter. Knocking Pete out wasn't going to help any. "Let's go," Kendra said, and then one Slayer and one Potential Slayer were off.

-----

Finding Oz hadn't been difficult. The wolf, after all, really wanted to be found. He stood in a hallway growling as Cordelia advanced on him. "What? You forgotten who your mistress is, boy?" Cordelia told it sternly. Oz-wolf gave a bark and growled again. "Or is it that you want to play? Fighting that bastard got you excited, huh?" Oz-wolf growled. "Then I'll just have to teach your first lesson all over, again, do I?" Cordelia said as she knew she reached best jumping distance. Not surprisingly, Oz-wolf jumped.

Cordelia rolled backward, grabbing Oz by his neck, and launching him onward with her right foot. The wolf landed and Cordelia was already up. Oz-wolf struggled to his feet on the annoyingly slippery floor, and rushed at his mistress again. The cheerleader jumped over him lightly, and immediately twisted upon landing, catching the wolf's hind legs, and sending him skidding along until he slammed into a wall. He growled at his mistress as she advanced on her. Suddenly she sped up, and slammed a foot in his flank. Oz-wolf whimpered a little and jumped up to bite. As always, his mistress seemed to know it coming from a mile away, and grabbed him by his throat with both hands and pulled him over her, and then slammed him into the floor. A moment later he was in a head lock on the stupid slippery floor. If it wasn't so slippery he could probably have gotten up and prolonged the fight.

"Who's your bitch, Oz? Come on, who's your bitch? Who's the queen mistress here, huh?" Cordelia prompted loudly. Oz-wolf whimpered and went limp, and then gave her right breast a submissive lick. "Better," Cordelia said and looked behind her, suspecting something from his lick. "You dumb mutt," Cordelia told Oz as the erection she saw confirmed it. She got up, and yanked him to his feet. "Men, always thinking of either one of two things. Come on, I'll get you the other thing so your brain doesn't fry," Cordelia scalded.

Apparently right now was not mating time. Oz had these weird memories of mating with mistress, yet having memories of never actually mating with mistress. He couldn't understand it, so he didn't care. What mattered was that mating-time was sometime else, so he trudged after his mistress who was playfully scolding him.

-----

There was a scream and a snap, and after giving each other a moment's look, Kendra and Faith ran toward the source. They came up to a piece of wall with a slightly different color, and having no time to find how to open it, Kendra simply slammed her fist into it, and ripped the doorway to the right with brute force. Pieces of the door wall crumbled to the floor as Kendra and Faith quickly entered what was obviously some type of makeshift chemical lab. In the middle lay Debbie, with a neck twisted in a very wrong angle.

Faith rushed to the body, but as she reached it, she refrained from kneeling down and checking for a pulse, on the tiny off chance she managed to survive. The lifeless eyes said it all; she was very dead. Kendra joined her on the opposite of the body a moment later.

"Hey, Pete, eet ends here," Kendra said peering into the darkness, her heightened senses and common sense telling her he was still here. "You've killed enough."

A moment later he came out of the shadows, snarling, "BITCHES! ALL OF YOU! BLACK, YELLOW, BLONDE, REDHEAD! IT DOESN'T MATTER! ALL THE SAME! WHORES!"

He slung wildly, and Kendra blocked the swing, kicking her left foot up in his chin hard, and making him flying back. Faith, knowing her limitations, backed off a bit. With another roar Pete returned with a body slam, which took Kendra off guard. He slammed his knee in her stomach and picked her up over him. Shifting her slightly so he had her by her lower legs, he slammed her down onto the ground. The ground cracked with the impact, and Kendra yelled out in pain, face contorted.

A moment later before he could continue Faith had come jumping in and slammed her foot with a snarl of her own into his face. Pete's head snapped with the impact and he staggered to his left, but he didn't seem to be worse for wear. "Whore!" he snarled, taking a step forward, and swung a much too fast backhand. It slammed painfully into Faith's face and she was launched off of her feet to the left, falling painfully to the floor and skidding to a halt. She coughed and struggled for consciousness, and knew she'd be having a shiner of her own. Fear lanced through her as she forced herself to try and get up. So impossibly strong, and so similar to back then.

Faith then shook her head. No more. She wouldn't be afraid. Not anymore. She had friends, a potential couple material, people to look up to, she'd killed vampires, and demons and was cared for here. Pete seemed indecisive on who to finish off first, and despite having a bad view she was convinced Kendra was still recovering. She'd be damned if she let the little man intimidate her. "Hey, yo, limp dick! Or is it small dick! It's so hard to tell either way!" Faith called out, sliding half lying and half sitting further back until she reached the wall. She had the bastard's attention now. "Yeah, you, let's go. Afraid of a girl that can talk back, you piece of shit. What's the matter, don't you want it, come on, right here," Faith snarled, ripping her shirt open and showing off her breasts. "Isn't this what you want? You crave this. I'm right here, you just have to come get me. That's what you want isn't it."

"You bitch! You whore!" Pete snarled and steamed toward.

"Yeah, that's right, come and show how big and strong you are and rape and beat up a little defenseless girl!" Faith taunted him onward, making him snarl again. He had almost reached her, and behind her back she shoved her ring on her right ring finger, instantly feeling the power surge through her body. Suddenly she was up and took a step, much to Pete's surprise. With a scream of fury, she launched an uppercut and Pete screamed out in pain. Faith was ready to continue the fight, but to her astonishment at the grace and speed, and wanting to be able to do it as well, she saw Kendra surge upward through the air, legs first. A moment later they wrapped around Pete's waist, and they went downward. With a scream Kendra snapped the scissor shut at the moment of landing. With a snap Pete's back snapped backwards, his head whiplashed. His mouth shot open and some blood was flung from it.

Kendra let him drop, and immediately got up over his head. She grabbed it, and with two might tugs snapped Pete's neck. Then she stood back weakly, and looked.

Faith came over to watch as well, putting the ring back in one of her pockets. Pete's red leathery skin shriveled up, to reveal Pete the way he was born: human. Clearly there were teeth marks now visible on the body.

"He was bitten," Faith said pointing at the body. "You don't think . . ."

Kendra thought for a moment, then took one of the cases and yanked a support strut from it, the case falling apart. "Stand back," she said, and Faith did. With vicious move, Kendra slammed the strut home through Pete's neck. It now sported a big hole, with only two thin strips of flesh on either side, blood spurting everywhere. "Not even werewolf will come back from that," Kendra said, and Faith nodded.

-----

**A week later**

Xander closed his locker, and turned around with a sigh. He saw Jonathan walk by in a stylish clothes and jacket. Cordelia was a genius. She simply upgraded the guy's clothes. Good matching colors, and more adult fair clothes. The jacket reminiscent of being a college student. In short; Jonathan look like a sophisticated, intelligent young man instead of a geek, and girls had definitely started to notice him. Xander smiled at him, and Jonathan returned a nervous smile.

A little later he entered the library, noticing everyone was present, including Shaten. The frustration over her got the better of him. "Nothing," Xander said, throwing up his arms in disgust, "either the guy doesn't want to get married right away, move to Japan, or he has the martial arts potential of a beached whale. I still can't find any guys for her."

"You are not giving up, are you?" Jenny Calendar asked him.

"Of course not, it's just frustrating," Xander replied with an annoyed expression. He hadn't even mentioned the ones that Shaten had simply scared off. He had hoped he'd have at least one hopeful by now, but nothing.

"Xander-dono," Shaten said with a little concern. "If not return in two weeks, village consider me traitor."

"I know, we'll get it," Xander reassured her.

The speaker system of the school announced, "Mister Harris, Miss Summers, and Miss Lu, please report to the Principal's office."

"Principal's office? What the hell does that troll want?" Xander asked out loud, and nobody gave him an answer.

Grunting he left the library, Buffy and Lotion in tow. The trio soon arrived in the Principal's office. Snyder looked at them with an evil grin, that sent shivers down Buffy's spine. "Well, it has come to my attention that you three are the best martial artists of the school, training in self-defense," he said, and not letting anyone interrupt he presented a pamphlet. "Well, there is a state-tournament in Los Angeles soon, and you will be representing our school," Snyder said with a grin.

Buffy and Lotion deflated a little, but Xander suddenly grasped the paper out of Snyder's hand and skimmed through its content. "Yes, sir," Xander said with a big grin, even giving him a salute. "We'll make the school proud, sir." Then he walked out of the office leaving two stunned girls and one stunned principal. Buffy and Lotion then went after Xander, leaving Snyder alone.

"This is not fair," Snyder muttered to himself. The boy hated doing anything forced upon him, and he hated doing anything for school even less, and yet he had been all happy. The Harris kid was supposed to have been horrified and he'd get the pleasure of forcing him into the tournament anyway. But instead he'd been all happy about the idea. Stupid teenagers! Now there was no fun to be had.

To Be Continued . . .


End file.
